The Best 56 Garbage Jokes

Looking for a laugh? You'll find it here with our collection of garbage jokes. From trashy puns to stinky jokes, these jokes will have you laughing in no time.

Top 10 Funniest Garbage Jokes and Puns

Dumping garbage

The Sheriff pulled up next to a guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up truck into a ditch. The Sheriff asks, "Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don't you see that sign right over your head?"
"Yep," he replied. "That's why I'm dumpin' it here, 'cause it says: 'FINE FOR DUMPING GARBAGE.'"

The other day I was scraping leftovers into the garbage...

...and I couldn't help but think of those poor kids in Africa who don't have any garbage bins.

Peeing in the Flowers...

A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 fell out onto the sidewalk.

Noticing this, a policeman stopped her and said, "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag."
"Oh, really? Darn it!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me officer."

"Well, now, not so fast," said the cop. Where did you get all that money? You didn't steal it, did you?"

"Oh, no, no", said the old lady. "You see, my back yard is right next to a golf course. A lot of Golfers come and pee through a knot hole in my fence, right into my flower garden. It used to really tick me off. Kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, 'Why not make the best of it?'"

So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers. Every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, 'O.K., buddy! Give me $20, or off it comes!'"

"Well, that seems only fair," said the cop, laughing. "OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?"

"Not everybody pays."

Son we need to talk.

Son, we need to talk!

Yes, dad?

Your mother said she saw you watching inappropriate videos online. Those videos are trash, they're garbage and if you keep watching them, you'll go blind!

Dad?

Yes, son?

I'm over here.

jokes about garbage

Have any you ever tried to throw out a garbage can ?

I leave it on the curb everyday, and its always there when I get back from work.


Becoming a garbage man isn't hard....

you just pick it up as you go along.

^^^*I'm* ^^^*terribly* ^^^*sorry*

World Cut Soccer

A little old Brazilian lady was walking down the street dragging two plastic garbage bags. One bag had a hole in it and $20 bills were flying out of it.

A policeman stopped her and said, "Ma'am, you're losing a lot of bills from that bag."

"Darnd!" she said, "Thanks for the warning. I'll go back and pick them up."

"Hold on there! Where'd all that money come from? Did you steal it?"

"Oh, no," she said. "My yard backs up on the stadium parking lot and, during tailgate parties, a lot of guys use my flower beds as bathrooms. So I stand behind a bush with my electric hedge clipper and when one is in mid-stream, I fire up the trimmer and say: '$20 or off it comes!'"

"Wow. Good idea!" laughed the cop. "But what's in the other bag?"

"Well," said the little old lady, "not all of them pay up!"

Garbage joke, World Cut Soccer

What has four wheels and flys?

A garbage truck.

What do a common garbage can and Leonardo DiCaprio have in common?

No Oscar!

An honest lawyer, a wealthy garbage collector, a teenage girl who's oblivious to what others think of her, and Santa Claus are in an elevator. Who's in the elevator?

Only Santa Claus, the other 3 don't exist.

I just got hired as a garbage truck driver.

There was no training, but I think I'll pick it up as i go along.

You can explore garbage surgery reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean garbage heart disease dad jokes. There are also garbage puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Being an HR, whenever I get a new batch of resumes, I always throw half of them in the garbage.

I don't want unlucky people working in my department.

I've been reading the thesaurus a lot lately...

because a mind is a terrible thing to garbage.

What is green, has 8 wheels, and flies?

A garbage truck

What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.

I'm sorry.

Why can't you trust a garbage man who loves his job?

Because he's always talking trash.

Garbage joke, Why can't you trust a garbage man who loves his job?

I love garbage day...

Once a week my street celebrates me

It's been a week since my wife went missing.

The police told me to expect the worst. So I took her things back out of the garbage bin.

A guy walks up to me and asks "What's Punk?"

So I kick over a garbage can and say "That's punk!" So he kicks over the garbage can and says "That's Punk?" and I say "No that's trendy!"


When I am tasked with sorting through a stack of rΓ©sumΓ©s, I throw about half of them in the garbage.

I do not want unlucky people working in our company

What has 4 wheels and flies?

A garbage truck

...I'll see myself out.

I spend my spare time reading the Thesaurus...

because the mind is a terrible thing to garbage.

Why are there only 2 pallbearers at a Westboro Baptist's Funeral?

There's only two handles on a garbage can.

I'm married to Wonder Woman.

She wonders when I'll grow up.
She wonders when I'll take the garbage out.
She wonders when I'll finally get a promotion.
She wonders why she ever married me.

I think I want to be a garbage man.

I hear the industry is picking up!

You know there's no official training for garbage men?

They just pick it up as they go along.

Garbage joke, You know there's no official training for garbage men?

I told my wife to make sure the coconut oil is mixed nicely with the kale

so I can easily scrape it into the garbage.

How rich are garbage men?

Filthy.

You know, garbage man as a job title is a little sexist and outdated.

We should call them garbage people instead.


I used to have a girlfriend who, whenever she had a bad headache, would go into the cupboard, find my oats I'd normally eat for breakfast and then throw them in the garbage.

Apparently she couldn't cope with my grains.

What has 10 wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.

There isn't much training involved in being a garbage man

You just pick it up as you go along

If Beyblade's were a video game the final boss would be

a garbage disposal

What's the difference between me and the guy that comes by to pick up your trash once a week?

He's a garbage man, and I'm just a garbage person.


Garbagemen never receive actual training

They just pick things up as they go

I don't know which is scarier....

A clown who rummages through the garbage cans at 3am or my neighbor who watches me doing it.

One for the software devs

There are two eternal problems in traditional software engineering:

1. Garbage collection
2. Naming things
3. Off-by-one errors

What do you get when a bee is stuck in a garage ?

Garbage.

A garbage man was doing the rounds one morning in Oklahoma

He came to a house where there was no bin out front, but there was a guy sitting on the porch.

The garbage man called out. 'Hey! Where's 'ya bin?'

The guy replies 'I've been in Florida'.

The garbage man says 'No. No. Where's 'ya wheely bin?'

The guys says 'I've really been in jail but I tell everyone I've been in Florida'

I saw a documentary about a submarine that recycles 87% of its garbage

But I think this sub is doing even better!

Apparently adding herbs to your garbage can makes it smell better.

But I don't have thyme for that rubbish.

I had a friend over to my house and he told me he could hear my garbage can chattering away. He asked me if I knew what it was saying?

I told him I did not know, as I never listen to trash-talk.

Dropped my best ever dad joke & no one was around to hear it

I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

My girlfriend is one of the worst cooks in the world

Just last night the raccoons offered me money to chip in for a lock on my garbage bin!

Rubble is a word for worthless garbage

Sorry I meant ruble.

As we were walking down the driveway with the cans, I asked my son, "Did you know there's no official training for garbage men?" Rolling his eyes, he responded, "No, no I didn't." I continued...

"Seriously, they just pick it up as they go along!"

Saw a clock in the garbage the other day!

Can't believe people are wasting time!

My friend ask me,"Has your son decided what he wants to be when he grows up?"

Yes, he wants to be a garbage collector," he replies.
My friend says "Strange ambition to have for a career."

"Well, he thinks that garbage collectors only work on Tuesdays!"

I'm ashamed to share my most recent math pun..

It's | garbage |

What's worse than 3 babies in 1 garbage can?

1 baby in 3 garbage cans!

What has four wheels and flies?

Garbage Truck.

.

.

.

To be honest, just listened to Tig Notaro telling this one on Conan OΒ΄Brien's podcast.

During English class the teacher asks Little Johnny "have you ever heard of the word contagious before?"

"Of course miss" Johnny replies "my father actually said it when we were talking yesterday".

"Can you repeat it for the class and tell us how he used it in a sentence?"

"Yes, miss. We were watching the neighbour take his garbage out when his bin tipped over spilling rubbish all over the driveway, dad said 'it's going to take the contagious to pick all that up.

Designing bear-proof garbage cans is very hard…

There will always be a significant overlap between the smartest bears, and the dumbest people.

What has wheels and flies but it isn't an aircraft?

A Garbage truck

What is the only male specific job title that is welcome on feminist subreddits?

Garbage Man.

Got a new job as a garbage man but I was worried as there's no training.

The boss said I'll pick it up as I go.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the garbage cardiac puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working garbage heart failure piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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