Garage Sale Jokes
43 garage sale jokes and hilarious garage sale puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about garage sale that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Garage Sale Short Jokes
Short garage sale jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The garage sale humour may include short yard sale jokes also.
- I'm opening a new gay club called "Garage Sale" Because one mans junk is another mans treasure!
- "You know when you go to a garage sale, and you find a dusty old box of National Geographics? Yeah, well you're kind of like that.... You've got issues going way back."
- The other day I saw a sign on my street for a garage sale ...but I didn't go. I already had a garage.
- Why does every state have 2 senators? So that one can be the designated driver.
(overheard an old man at a garage sale telling this). - I don't go on and on about how I can't roller skate But apparently the whole world needs to know about how this w**... in the river can't swim.
- How do you get other people to pay you to haul away your old junk? Tell them it's a garage sale.
- To everyone who received a file from me named myjunk.jpg:
I thought I was sending you a photo of my garage sale.
I am so, so sorry. - The black family across the street from me is having a garage sale. Finally, a chance to buy some of my stuff back!
- I went to a garage sale the other day, they had a radio with no volume control I just couldn't turn it down.
- My wife bought a bunch of cheap camping supplies from a garage sale. This shall be known as the Summer of my Discount Tent.
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Garage Sale One Liners
Which garage sale one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with garage sale? I can suggest the ones about garage and car garage.
- Yesterday I sold my vacuum in a garage sale all it was doing was collecting dust.
- Why don't pirates have garage sales? They prefer yarrr sales.
- Why do you go to a black mans garage sale? So you can get all your stuff back.
- Garage sales are garbage sales. But the B is silent.
- I went to a garage sale. "How much for the garage?" "It's not for sale."
-- Steven Wright - A garage sale is actually a Garbage sale but the "b" is silent.
- I used to go to garage sales. I still do... Bought a used tutu
- I went to a garage sale... ...Well, they said it was, but they wouldn't let me buy it.
- I saw a sign that said 'Garage Sale!' I asked how much their garage was.
- I went to a garage sale a few years back... That's where I bought my garage.
- So I saw a garage sale sign, and it made me wonder... Who would sell their garage?
Gather Around for Fun Garage Sale Jokes and Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about garage sale you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean thrift store jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make garage sale pranks.
Man finds an HD TV in a Garage Sale
"How much is this TV?" the man said.
The seller responded, "One dollar."
"Wow, only one dollar?"
"Yep, one dollar."
Why is it so cheap?" asked the man.
"Its volume is turned all the way up, and you can't adjust it, it's stuck that way." said the seller.
"So the volume is always turned up?"
"Yep."
"And it's only a dollar?"
"Yes, one dollar."
"Just cause the volume is turned all the way up?"
"Yep."
"Wow! Can't turn that down."
How do you get into Heaven?
When Tim was just a wee lad, he went regularly to Sunday School. One day, his teacher decided to test Tim to see if he understood the concept of getting to Heaven. She asked him, "If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, Would that get me into Heaven?"
"NO!" Tim answered.
"If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me into Heaven?"
Again, the answer was, "NO!"
By now, the teacher was starting to smile. Hey, this was fun!
"Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave candy to all the children, and loved my husband, would that get me into Heaven?"
Again, Tim answered, "NO!"
The Sunday School teacher was just bursting with pride for him.
Well, she continued, "then how can I get into Heaven?"
A very confident young Tim shouted out, "YOU GOTTA BE DEAD."
A man goes to a garage sale.
He walks up to a brand new 50 inch flat screen television for $1.
Man - "Is that TV seriously $1?"
Owner - "Sure is, even comes with surround sound!"
Man - "What's the catch then?"
Owner - "Well the volume is stuck on high and it's always going to be loud."
Man - "Well I can't turn that down!"
I hate winter…
I hate the snow, the ice, the cold. In these times I think of the 4-man tent I bought on sale sometime around 1995. It's a basic tent, and it was a great value when I got it. It's hardly used now and just sits in my garage. I get such Winter Blues that I think about setting the tent up in the back yard, even though I've never gone through with that.
But alas I wonder, is this the Winter of my discount tent?
A guy is selling a TV at a garage sale for 1$
It is a close to new, 50 4K flatscreen, and a woman comes up and asks him What's wrong with this TV, to only be selling it for a dollar?
The man tells her Well, there's nothing wrong with the picture, or anything like that, but the volume is stuck on max, and you can't change it at all. So are you interested in buying it for a dollar?
She says Well, you can't that down .
I was at a garage sale yesterday
My wife saw a beautiful grandfather clock, but the guy told her it was beyond repair.
The little hand was broken, and it wouldn't move, so the clock was basically useless.
The guy said if we could fix it, we could take it home with us.
My wife kicked the clock, making the little hand start moving again.
Needless to say, the clock is hours.
I spotted several pairs of men's Levi's at a garage sale.
They were sizes 30, 31, and 32, but I was looking for size 33.
So I asked the owner if he had a pair.
He shook his head.
"I'm still wearing the 33s," he said. "Come back next year."
A guy is crossing the street when he comes across a garage sale
A guy is crossing the street when he comes across a garage sale.
He gets closer and starts taking a look at the items on display when he sees this huge TV.
He walks up to the seller and asks him.
- "Hey how much does that TV cost?"
- "It's only 1 dollar."
- "Only 1 dollar? That's a steal, why such a price?"
The seller responds.
- "I'm selling this TV for just 1 dollar because you can not lower the volume, it's always maxed out."
- "So it's 1 dollar because you can't lower the volume?"
- "Yup."
- "Wow, can't turn that down."
A man scuttled out to his garage and began pulling the lawn furniture out onto the driveway.
Shortly after he did the same with the lawnmower, a few gardening tools and a bicycle.
A curious neighbour wandered over and asked if he was going to have a garage sale.
No, replied the man. My son just bought his first car and right now he's getting ready for a big date.
So what's with all the stuff? asked the neighbour.
Well, after years of moving tricycles, toys and sports equipment out of the way every time I came home from work I wanted to make sure the driveway was ready for him.
Garage sale
A preacher and his wife go garage sale hunting one Saturday morning.As the wife looks around the preacher notices a nice looking push lawnmower for $20.He asks the man at the garage sale what's wrong with it.$20 is a steal if it works.The man said it works great if you can get it started but you got to cuss it a few times.The preacher responded,I've been a Christian for 30 years and ill have you know its been so long I've forgotten how to cuss.The man responds,pull that string a few times and it'll come back to you.
I made a friend who liked model ships.
I sent him a secondhand model that I found at a garage sale along with my phone number. He texted me soon after:
Hey man, it's Jesus. You sent me a model ship and I really appreciate it but it's missing a part.
Is it the steering wheel?
Actually yeah. How did you know?
It fell out of the box but I didn't want to bother you with an envelope containing only the wheel. I'll come deliver it to you if that's okay.
No, man, it's one part, you don't have to!
Jesus, take the wheel.
Lawnmower for sale
A little boy hears the doorbell and answers the door. The gentleman at the door says, "Hi, I'm here about the lawnmower that's for sale."
The little boy replies, "My parents aren't home right now, but it's in the garage if you want to look at it."
The man starts pulling the rope to make sure it will crank. After several tries, he says, "Son, this lawnmower won't start."
The boy says, "That's because you haven't cussed at it yet."
Startled, the man replies, "I'm a man of the cloth. I haven't said any swear words in years."
The boy says, "Keep pulling that rope - it'll come back to you."
