The Best 22 Garage Sale Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Garage Sale jokes. There are some garage sale buy jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these garage sale sell puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Garage Sale Jokes and Puns

I'm opening a new gay club called "Garage Sale"

Because one mans junk is another mans treasure!

Yesterday I sold my vacuum in a garage sale

all it was doing was collecting dust.

Man finds an HD TV in a Garage Sale

"How much is this TV?" the man said.

The seller responded, "One dollar."

"Wow, only one dollar?"

"Yep, one dollar."

Why is it so cheap?" asked the man.

"Its volume is turned all the way up, and you can't adjust it, it's stuck that way." said the seller.

"So the volume is always turned up?"


"And it's only a dollar?"

"Yes, one dollar."

"Just cause the volume is turned all the way up?"


"Wow! Can't turn that down."

How do you get into Heaven?

When Tim was just a wee lad, he went regularly to Sunday School. One day, his teacher decided to test Tim to see if he understood the concept of getting to Heaven. She asked him, "If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, Would that get me into Heaven?"

"NO!" Tim answered.

"If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me into Heaven?"

Again, the answer was, "NO!"

By now, the teacher was starting to smile. Hey, this was fun!

"Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave candy to all the children, and loved my husband, would that get me into Heaven?"

Again, Tim answered, "NO!"

The Sunday School teacher was just bursting with pride for him.

Well, she continued, "then how can I get into Heaven?"

A very confident young Tim shouted out, "YOU GOTTA BE DEAD."

A man goes to a garage sale.

He walks up to a brand new 50 inch flat screen television for $1.

Man - "Is that TV seriously $1?"

Owner - "Sure is, even comes with surround sound!"

Man - "What's the catch then?"

Owner - "Well the volume is stuck on high and it's always going to be loud."

Man - "Well I can't turn that down!"

I hate winter…

I hate the snow, the ice, the cold. In these times I think of the 4-man tent I bought on sale sometime around 1995. It's a basic tent, and it was a great value when I got it. It's hardly used now and just sits in my garage. I get such Winter Blues that I think about setting the tent up in the back yard, even though I've never gone through with that.

But alas I wonder, is this the Winter of my discount tent?

Why don't pirates have garage sales?

They prefer yarrr sales.

The other day I saw a sign on my street for a garage sale

...but I didn't go. I already had a garage.

Why do you go to a black mans garage sale?

So you can get all your stuff back.

Why does every state have 2 senators?

So that one can be the designated driver.

(overheard an old man at a garage sale telling this).

I bought a pair of roller blades at a garage sale...

Some people might call me a cheap skate.

You can explore garage sale selling reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean garage sale purchased dad jokes. There are also garage sale puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

A guy is selling a TV at a garage sale for 1$

It is a close to new, 50 4K flatscreen, and a woman comes up and asks him What's wrong with this TV, to only be selling it for a dollar?

The man tells her Well, there's nothing wrong with the picture, or anything like that, but the volume is stuck on max, and you can't change it at all. So are you interested in buying it for a dollar?

She says Well, you can't that down .

Garage sales are garbage sales.

But the B is silent.

How do you get other people to pay you to haul away your old junk?

Tell them it's a garage sale.

To everyone who received

a file from me named myjunk.jpg:
I thought I was sending you a photo of my garage sale.
I am so, so sorry.

I was at a garage sale yesterday

My wife saw a beautiful grandfather clock, but the guy told her it was beyond repair.

The little hand was broken, and it wouldn't move, so the clock was basically useless.

The guy said if we could fix it, we could take it home with us.

My wife kicked the clock, making the little hand start moving again.

Needless to say, the clock is hours.

The black family across the street from me is having a garage sale.

Finally, a chance to buy some of my stuff back!

I went to a garage sale.

"How much for the garage?" "It's not for sale."
-- Steven Wright

I went to a garage sale the other day, they had a radio with no volume control

I just couldn't turn it down.

My wife bought a bunch of cheap camping supplies from a garage sale.

This shall be known as the Summer of my Discount Tent.

A garage sale is actually a Garbage sale but the "b" is silent.

I spotted several pairs of men's Levi's at a garage sale.

They were sizes 30, 31, and 32, but I was looking for size 33.

So I asked the owner if he had a pair.

He shook his head.

"I'm still wearing the 33s," he said. "Come back next year."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the garage sale buying jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working garage sale lambo piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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