The Best 78 Gang Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Gang jokes. There are some gang hooligans jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these gang supremacists puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Gang Jokes and Puns

What do 9 out of 10 people call a good time?

Gang rape.

A sloth named Herman is walking through the forest one day.

A gang of snails approach him and beat him up. Herman is left at the bottom of a tree with several cuts and bruises. Several hours later he gathers up enough strength to go to a local police station. Herman walks into the Sergeant's office.

"What happened to you? the officer asks.
"A gang of snails beat me up," Herman replied.
"Can you describe what they looked like?"

"I don't know," the sloth says. "It all happened so fast."

What's a gangsta say when a house falls on him?

Get off me, homes!

"Wolfgang Mozart", says Mozart's friend...

"What?!" replies Mozart. Then they are both eaten by a gang of wolves.

jokes about gang

What do nine out of ten people agree on?

Gang rape.


Next time somebody tries to argue using statistics....

Remind them that 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

Cow jokes that had to be shared

-Why is there a high gang rate amongst cows? They've all got beef.
-Why was the cow a terrible sharpshooter? All he did was graze.
-How can you tell if there are cows hiding near by? You can hear them uttering to each other.
.....thank you

Gang joke, Cow jokes that had to be shared

What do a gang member and a redneck have in common?

They both know how to throw a good hoe down.

A turtle was walking down an alley in New York

when he was mugged by a gang of snails. A police detective came to investigate and asked the turtle if he could explain what happened.

The turtle looked at the detective with a confused look on his face and replied I don't know, it all happened so fast.

What do you do if you're attacked by a gang of clowns?

Go for the juggler.

What do you call a fatality that results from friendly fire in a gang war?

Homiecide

You can explore gang neighborhoods reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean gang gang rape dad jokes. There are also gang puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What do you call it when a gangster accidentally kills a fellow gang member?

Homiecide

A gangster asks his son how his exam went

"They questioned me for 3 hours but I told them nothing, dad."

My ex was gang raped by a troupe of mime artists.

They performed unspeakable acts on her.

Why is there no gang violence on the space station?

Because it is a zero G environment.

You are being approached by a lawyer, a lion and a gang member.

You are armed with a gun and two bullets. What do you do?

Shoot the lawyer. Twice.

Gang joke, You are being approached by a lawyer, a lion and a gang member.

Did you here about the woman who got attacked by a gang of mimes?

They performed unspeakable acts on her.

Statistically...

9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

What does a gangster rapper Juice Wrld do when they are involved in a shipwreck?

Swim fo sho


What did the Mexican gang member say when two large houses fell on him during an earthquake?

Get off me, homes.

What do you call a depressed gang member?

An emoji... Emo g, get it? From my 13 year old son

If your are ever about to get jumped by a gang of clowns

Go for the juggler

How do gangsters receive communications?

Gmail

What do you say when you get cornered by a gang of Italian prostitutes?

"Uh-oh, spaghetti hoes!"

Currently the most offensive joke going through my head.

What did the female Marine get moments after she was gang raped by her fellow Marines?

A Dishonourable Discharge.

There's a gang in my neighborhood that recruits members by threatening them with all sorts of horrible punishments and tortures if they don't join ..

but enough about the Church ..

Gang joke, There's a gang in my neighborhood that recruits members by threatening them with all sorts of horrib

Why was the black woman pregnant of quadruplets arrested?

Gang formation.

What do you call a motorcycle gang made up of ancient bisexual Norse monarchs?

The bikings.

"Y'know with all the civil unrest, political corruption, class divides, drug smuggling, gang wars, police brutality, gun violence, and poor education maybe building a wall to protect us from our southern neighbors isn't such a bad idea"

\- Canada


A man comes to the entrance of Heaven

A man comes to the entrance of Heaven and is told, "You haven't done anything good, but you haven't done anything bad either. If you can tell me of something amazing you have done, I will let you in."

The man replies, "Well, one time I was driving down the road and I saw some gang members threatening a young lady in an alleyway. I stopped and confronted them. I walked up to the biggest looking dude and slapped him and said, 'You need to leave this young lady alone, or I'm going to kick your ass!'"

The man at the entrance to heaven asked him, "When did this happen?"

The guy replies, "About five minutes ago."

What does Superman and a Blood gang member who lost his gun have in common?

Neither one of them want to see a Kryptonite...

My wife was abducted by a gang of mimes.

They did unspeakable things to her.

I saw a kid getting beaten up by 4 gang members, so I helped out.

He didn't stand a chance against the 5 of us.

I saw four gangsters beating up on a kid

I decided to help. He didn't stand a chance against five of us.


The other day I saw 4 gang members beating up a kid.

So I decided to step in. He didn't stand a chance against 5 of us.

I saw 4 gang members beating up a little kid

So I decided to step in, there's no chance he can take all 5 of us.

Why did the cloud do drugs and join a gang?

Atmospheric Pressure.

A friend of mine was sexually assaulted by a gang of mime artists last night...

They did unspeakable things to him.

As a young boy I always wanted to join a violent gang

Just got accepted into police training, who says dreams don't come true.

What did Pablo Escobar say to Scooby-Doo and the gang when they finally caught him?

I would've gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you MedellΓ­n kids.

I don't understand why society is so against gang rape.

I mean statistically 9 out of 10 people enjoy it.

Parked my car in Mexico City last night. Came out in the morning to find a gang of kids had come and stolen all the parts off it.

Jesus took the wheel.

Joe approached the gates of Heaven and God asked him what he had done in life that made him worthy...

Joe: "I once saw a gang of bikers harassing a woman, so I went up to the biggest and baddest one, gave him a punch across the face, and said 'If you want to mess with her again, you'll have to go through me first.'"

God: "Really? When was that?"

Joe: "About 5 minutes ago."

An artist lives next to a Marsh.

Twice a week, he goes out and collects the clam shells in the marsh to use in his art. One day, he visits a fellow artist and the two compare their works as usual. Suddenly, a gang of bandits breaks into the house to steal art, but before anyone else could react the first artist launches a furious flurry of kicks and punches that quickly incapacitates all the robbers.
"Incredible!" Goes his friend, "I never realised you were so well trained in combat!"
"Well you should," the first artist replied, "considering you already know I am a marsh shell artist."

Last night I was attacked by a gang of mimes.

They did unspeakable things to me.

I wish I was in a gang...

So I would know what to do with my hands in pictures!

Man, after joining a Biker Gang: Do we or don't we ride our bikes at the same speed?

Biker: Yes, we do. But stop calling it synchronizing our cycles.

Guy dies and is at the pearly gates

St. Peter says: before I can let you in, you must tell me one selfless act you did while alive

Guy says One time i was driving and saw this motorcycle gang harassing a little old lady. I pulled over and went up to the biggest guy punched him square in the face and said - LOOK, if you mess with her, you mess with me

St. Peter said wow, that's pretty impressive, but I don't see it in your records. When exactly did this happen?

The guy said oh, about five seconds ago

A gang of midget burglars broke into a butchers but fled empty handed.

It seems the steaks were too high.

What's the difference between a gang and the government?

Only one is organized.

My girlfriend said she would break up with me if I said another Scooby-Doo quote.

My last words to her were Alright, let's split up gang.

Mozart runs into a bar...

He's scratched and bleeding and can barely stand.

The bartender asks, What's wrong?!? What happened?!?

Mozart gasps as he collapses to the floor, I was just attacked by a wolf gang and now imma dazed!

(Just an awful joke I came up with to brother my bother. )

What do you call a midget in a gang?

A pimp squeak.

'Everybody's a gangster until they get punched in the mouth.' - Mike Tyson

And after that, everybody's a gangthter.

5 gangsters calmly walk into a bar.

Immediately, a Karen rushes up to them and starts yelling at them to get out.

"What are you doing!?" yells the bartender. "They haven't even been here for two minutes!"

"Well," the Karen retorts. "I've heard that 5G's are bad for the environment!"

Urgent message to all older men...

There has been a terrible spate of robberies by a gang of young women. Their MO is to pull you over on the road and hitch a ride. They always wear skimpy bikinis, then start to rub themselves on you while you're driving in order to distract you. One of them then sneakily steals your wallet. I have already lost four wallets this week. But you can buy cheap wallets at the dollar store.

Wheelchair gang rise up!!!

Oh...wait.

What do you call a bunch of crows trying to organize a gang?

Attempted murder

There was once a truck driver eating at a diner.

He was enjoying his meal, when a gang of bikers walked in. They started bullying him, by dumping salt and pepper all over him, spitting in his coffee, and stealing his food. To their surprise, the truck driver did nothing, but pay the bill, and walk out of the diner.

As they are marveling about this, the waitress comes up to them. The biker gang says that the truck driver wasn't much of a fighter.

The waitress then looks out into the night and says, He doesn't look to be much of a driver either. He just ran over 3 motorcycles.

Did you hear about the boat full of gang members?

It was a blood vessel.

I bought my nephew a pair of airpods for his birthday.

The kid was so ungrateful, he didn't even say thank you. He just started throwing up gang signs at me.



I think he's fallen into a bad crowd ever since he went deaf.

My wife said she'd leave me if I didn't stop speaking in Scooby Doo references...

Alright gang, let's split up.

have you heard about the emu who was kicked out of the emu gang?

he was ostrich-sized.

A snail shop owner was attacked by a turtle gang. The police asked if he could describe the perpetrators, he said

I don't know, it happened so fast.

In my gang, there's no such thing as blood money.

It's Criptocurrency

Scooby Doo is the worst cartoon to watch during the COVID-19 pandemic

Because the Mystery Inc gang doesn't seem to like people who wear masks

The other day I was attacked by a gang of clowns

So I went straight for the juggler.

What do you call a gang of ghosts?

A hauntourage ~

happy spooky season haha

A man was arrested for killing gang members, then cutting off their feet and taking them

When apprehended, the man said he had heard it was profitable to sell Crip toes.

Every Scooby-Doo episode would literally be two minutes long if the gang went to the mask store first and asked a few questions.

**Every** Scooby-Doo **episode would literally be two minutes long if the gang went to the mask store first and asked a few questions.**

Police are on the lookout for a shoplifting gang systematically stealing shirts according to size

They're currently at large

Gas prices are getting out of hand

There was an attempted heist at the art museum. It seems the gang was Baroque and needed Monet. But they didn't buy enough of Degas to make the Van Gogh so they all got arrested.

Just saw that our local Police Department got 2 huge new trucks with "Criminal Gang Unit" labeled on the sides.

Finally, some self awareness.

Police have arrested a gang of Corn Flakes that they alledge committed a spree of armed robberies throughout the metro area. A Police spokesman described them as...

....cereal offenders.

how do you defend yourself from a gang of clowns?

Going straight for the juggler.

Two lawyers are standing in line at the bank

Two lawyers are standing in line at the bank when a gang of armed men burst in. Some of them start threatening the cashiers while two more go along the line of customers collecting watches, wallets, phones, everything.

As they get closer to the two lawyers one turns to the other and presses a wad of cash into his hand.

"Hey man, here's the $300 I owe you."

The joke I always think of when asked what's your favourite joke?

Didja hear about the Cutlery Gang downtown? They've started pronouncing the silent 'k' in words. Those kniving bastards!

Did you hear Peter Dinklage joined a gang

It was the 3'6 Mafia

Yes, I know I'm going to hell.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the gang gangster puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working gang posse piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes