The Best 80 Gang Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Gang jokes. There are some gang gangbang jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these gang supremacists puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Gang Jokes and Puns

What do 9 out of 10 people call a good time?

Gang rape.

A sloth named Herman is walking through the forest one day.

A gang of snails approach him and beat him up. Herman is left at the bottom of a tree with several cuts and bruises. Several hours later he gathers up enough strength to go to a local police station. Herman walks into the Sergeant's office.

"What happened to you? the officer asks.
"A gang of snails beat me up," Herman replied.
"Can you describe what they looked like?"

"I don't know," the sloth says. "It all happened so fast."

What's a gangsta say when a house falls on him?

Get off me, homes!

Gang joke, What's a gangsta say when a house falls on him?

"Wolfgang Mozart", says Mozart's friend...

"What?!" replies Mozart. Then they are both eaten by a gang of wolves.

Why do gangsters hold their pistols sideways?

Because that's how it comes in the box :D


What do nine out of ten people agree on?

Gang rape.

Next time somebody tries to argue using statistics....

Remind them that 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

Gang joke, Next time somebody tries to argue using statistics....

Cow jokes that had to be shared

-Why is there a high gang rate amongst cows? They've all got beef.
-Why was the cow a terrible sharpshooter? All he did was graze.
-How can you tell if there are cows hiding near by? You can hear them uttering to each other.
.....thank you

What do a gang member and a redneck have in common?

They both know how to throw a good hoe down.

A turtle was walking down an alley in New York

when he was mugged by a gang of snails. A police detective came to investigate and asked the turtle if he could explain what happened.

The turtle looked at the detective with a confused look on his face and replied I don't know, it all happened so fast.

What do you do if you're attacked by a gang of clowns?

Go for the juggler.

You can explore gang neighborhoods reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean gang hooligans dad jokes. There are also gang puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What do you call a fatality that results from friendly fire in a gang war?

Homiecide

What do you call it when a gangster accidentally kills a fellow gang member?

Homiecide

A gangster asks his son how his exam went

"They questioned me for 3 hours but I told them nothing, dad."

My ex was gang raped by a troupe of mime artists.

They performed unspeakable acts on her.

Why is there no gang violence on the space station?

Because it is a zero G environment.

Gang joke, Why is there no gang violence on the space station?

You are being approached by a lawyer, a lion and a gang member.

You are armed with a gun and two bullets. What do you do?

Shoot the lawyer. Twice.

Did you here about the woman who got attacked by a gang of mimes?

They performed unspeakable acts on her.

Statistically...

9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.


What does a gangster rapper Juice Wrld do when they are involved in a shipwreck?

Swim fo sho

What do you call a place that you put an arrested caucasian gang member in?

A white blood cell.

What did the Mexican gang member say when two large houses fell on him during an earthquake?

Get off me, homes.

I tried to join a local gang of thieves that were stealing supplies from Chinese restaurants in town.

I don't think I made the cut though. They told me to go take a walk.

What do you call a depressed gang member?

An emoji... Emo g, get it? From my 13 year old son

If your are ever about to get jumped by a gang of clowns

Go for the juggler

How do gangsters receive communications?

Gmail

What do you say when you get cornered by a gang of Italian prostitutes?

"Uh-oh, spaghetti hoes!"

Currently the most offensive joke going through my head.

What did the female Marine get moments after she was gang raped by her fellow Marines?

A Dishonourable Discharge.

There's a gang in my neighborhood that recruits members by threatening them with all sorts of horrible punishments and tortures if they don't join ..

but enough about the Church ..

Why was the black woman pregnant of quadruplets arrested?

Gang formation.

What do you call a motorcycle gang made up of ancient bisexual Norse monarchs?

The bikings.

"Y'know with all the civil unrest, political corruption, class divides, drug smuggling, gang wars, police brutality, gun violence, and poor education maybe building a wall to protect us from our southern neighbors isn't such a bad idea"

\- Canada

Did you hear about the mute motorcycle gang?

They don't answer to nobody.

A man comes to the entrance of Heaven

A man comes to the entrance of Heaven and is told, "You haven't done anything good, but you haven't done anything bad either. If you can tell me of something amazing you have done, I will let you in."

The man replies, "Well, one time I was driving down the road and I saw some gang members threatening a young lady in an alleyway. I stopped and confronted them. I walked up to the biggest looking dude and slapped him and said, 'You need to leave this young lady alone, or I'm going to kick your ass!'"

The man at the entrance to heaven asked him, "When did this happen?"

The guy replies, "About five minutes ago."

What does Superman and a Blood gang member who lost his gun have in common?

Neither one of them want to see a Kryptonite...

My wife was abducted by a gang of mimes.

They did unspeakable things to her.

I saw a kid getting beaten up by 4 gang members, so I helped out.

He didn't stand a chance against the 5 of us.

A turtle got mugged by a gang of snails...

In the aftermath the police officer asked the turtle for details.
Trembling, the turtle mutters, "I... I don't know. It all just... happened so fast!"

I saw four gangsters beating up on a kid

I decided to help. He didn't stand a chance against five of us.

The other day I saw 4 gang members beating up a kid.

So I decided to step in. He didn't stand a chance against 5 of us.

I saw 4 gang members beating up a little kid

So I decided to step in, there's no chance he can take all 5 of us.

Why did the cloud do drugs and join a gang?

Atmospheric Pressure.

A friend of mine was sexually assaulted by a gang of mime artists last night...

They did unspeakable things to him.

As a young boy I always wanted to join a violent gang

Just got accepted into police training, who says dreams don't come true.

What did Pablo Escobar say to Scooby-Doo and the gang when they finally caught him?

I would've gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you MedellΓ­n kids.

I don't understand why society is so against gang rape.

I mean statistically 9 out of 10 people enjoy it.

What do 7 out of every 8 people enjoy?

Gang rape.

Parked my car in Mexico City last night. Came out in the morning to find a gang of kids had come and stolen all the parts off it.

Jesus took the wheel.

Joe approached the gates of Heaven and God asked him what he had done in life that made him worthy...

Joe: "I once saw a gang of bikers harassing a woman, so I went up to the biggest and baddest one, gave him a punch across the face, and said 'If you want to mess with her again, you'll have to go through me first.'"

God: "Really? When was that?"

Joe: "About 5 minutes ago."

An artist lives next to a Marsh.

Twice a week, he goes out and collects the clam shells in the marsh to use in his art. One day, he visits a fellow artist and the two compare their works as usual. Suddenly, a gang of bandits breaks into the house to steal art, but before anyone else could react the first artist launches a furious flurry of kicks and punches that quickly incapacitates all the robbers.
"Incredible!" Goes his friend, "I never realised you were so well trained in combat!"
"Well you should," the first artist replied, "considering you already know I am a marsh shell artist."

Last night I was attacked by a gang of mimes.

They did unspeakable things to me.

What makes9/10 people happy?

Gang bang

I wish I was in a gang...

So I would know what to do with my hands in pictures!

Why do gangsters hold their guns sideways?

Because that's the way it came in the box.

Man, after joining a Biker Gang: Do we or don't we ride our bikes at the same speed?

Biker: Yes, we do. But stop calling it synchronizing our cycles.

What do 6 out of 7 people like?

Gang rape

Guy dies and is at the pearly gates

St. Peter says: before I can let you in, you must tell me one selfless act you did while alive

Guy says One time i was driving and saw this motorcycle gang harassing a little old lady. I pulled over and went up to the biggest guy punched him square in the face and said - LOOK, if you mess with her, you mess with me

St. Peter said wow, that's pretty impressive, but I don't see it in your records. When exactly did this happen?

The guy said oh, about five seconds ago

A gang of midget burglars broke into a butchers but fled empty handed.

It seems the steaks were too high.

What's the difference between a gang and the government?

Only one is organized.

My girlfriend said she would break up with me if I said another Scooby-Doo quote.

My last words to her were Alright, let's split up gang.

Mozart runs into a bar...

He's scratched and bleeding and can barely stand.

The bartender asks, What's wrong?!? What happened?!?

Mozart gasps as he collapses to the floor, I was just attacked by a wolf gang and now imma dazed!

(Just an awful joke I came up with to brother my bother. )

What do you call a midget in a gang?

A pimp squeak.

A few guys always used to meet up on Fridays after work for a drink.

One Friday, Pete showed up late, sat down forlornly at the bar and knocked back his first beer in one gulp.

'You OK?' asked Bill, another of the gang.

'Not really,' sighed Pete. 'This morning my wife told me that she's rationing our sex life – she's cutting me back to just once a week. I can't believe it.'

Bill put a consoling arm around Pete's shoulder. 'You think you've got it bad – she's cut some guys off altogether!'

'Everybody's a gangster until they get punched in the mouth.' - Mike Tyson

And after that, everybody's a gangthter.

5 gangsters calmly walk into a bar.

Immediately, a Karen rushes up to them and starts yelling at them to get out.

"What are you doing!?" yells the bartender. "They haven't even been here for two minutes!"

"Well," the Karen retorts. "I've heard that 5G's are bad for the environment!"

Urgent message to all older men...

There has been a terrible spate of robberies by a gang of young women. Their MO is to pull you over on the road and hitch a ride. They always wear skimpy bikinis, then start to rub themselves on you while you're driving in order to distract you. One of them then sneakily steals your wallet. I have already lost four wallets this week. But you can buy cheap wallets at the dollar store.

Wheelchair gang rise up!!!

Oh...wait.

What do you call a bunch of crows trying to organize a gang?

Attempted murder

There was once a truck driver eating at a diner.

He was enjoying his meal, when a gang of bikers walked in. They started bullying him, by dumping salt and pepper all over him, spitting in his coffee, and stealing his food. To their surprise, the truck driver did nothing, but pay the bill, and walk out of the diner.

As they are marveling about this, the waitress comes up to them. The biker gang says that the truck driver wasn't much of a fighter.

The waitress then looks out into the night and says, He doesn't look to be much of a driver either. He just ran over 3 motorcycles.

Did you hear about the boat full of gang members?

It was a blood vessel.

I bought my nephew a pair of airpods for his birthday.

The kid was so ungrateful, he didn't even say thank you. He just started throwing up gang signs at me.



I think he's fallen into a bad crowd ever since he went deaf.

My wife said she'd leave me if I didn't stop speaking in Scooby Doo references...

Alright gang, let's split up.

What are a gang member's favorite alternative medicine?

Homie-opathy

have you heard about the emu who was kicked out of the emu gang?

he was ostrich-sized.

A snail shop owner was attacked by a turtle gang. The police asked if he could describe the perpetrators, he said

I don't know, it happened so fast.

In my gang, there's no such thing as blood money.

It's Criptocurrency

There's a gang in my area...

There's a gang in my area who recruit new members by threatening them with all kinds of horrible punishments if they don't join. But enough about the church...

Scooby Doo is the worst cartoon to watch during the COVID-19 pandemic

Because the Mystery Inc gang doesn't seem to like people who wear masks

The other day I was attacked by a gang of clowns

So I went straight for the juggler.

I just joined a gang called square root 2

Because I'm irrational

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the gang gangster jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working gang posse piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes