Gandalf Jokes
50 gandalf jokes and hilarious gandalf puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about gandalf that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Gandalf Short Jokes
Short gandalf jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The gandalf humour may include short bells jokes also.
- My girl keeps having disturbed dream, shouting things like "Hobbit!", "Gandalf!", and "Mordor!". Always Tolkien in her sleep...
- My partner keeps on having disturbed dreams My partner keeps on having disturbed dreams, shouting things like "Hobbit!", "Mordor!" and "Gandalf!"
Always Tolkien in their sleep... - I wore my "Gandalf for President" shirt to the comic convention. It got a lot of support, but some were turned off by my candidate's hard stance on immigration.
- Why did Gandalf opt to send Frodo, of all beings, on the most perilous mission Middle-Earth had ever known? Force of hobbit.
- My university professor and Gandalf have a lot in common... ..they both say "You shall not pass!"
- Why didn't Gandalf get hired at Hogwarts? He kept telling the students,, "Thou shalt not pass."
- How does Gandalf transmit a large amount of information from one place to another? He uses a Shadowfax.
- Donald Trump's family bought him a Gandalf the Grey costume for his birthday. Unfortunately, this wasn't the sort of Grand Wizard outfit he had in mind...
- What did Gandalf say when he bumped into the other wizard? "Saruman, I didn't see you there".
- What did Gandalf say to the sheep farmer that wanted to cross his land? Ewe shall not pass.
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Gandalf One Liners
Which gandalf one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with gandalf? I can suggest the ones about trilogy and elves.
- Hey, Gandalf! What's your favourite kind of insect? FLY, YOU FOOLS!
- What do you get when Gandalf and Bilbo are your network engineers? A Tolkien Ring Network
- If Gandalf wanted to go on an overseas holiday, what would he do? Fly, *you fools*.
- What did Gandalf say to Elrond as he watched him make a basket? There Hugo Weaving again.
- Why cant gandalf mark tests? Because he always tells the students 'YOU…SHALL NOT PASS!'
- I once had a teacher named Mr. Gandalf No one passed his class
- Having Gandalf as a driving instructor is awful Keeps telling me I'm not gonna pass :(
- Gandalf is the new coach of the Seattle Seahawks.
- Which wizard would be the worst professor? Gandalf, because YOU SHALL NOT PASS!
- Gandalf gave me a test... I didn't pass.
- Why was Gandalf allowed his staff into Theoden's hall? Because it was Staff Only
- What's Gandalf's favorite band? A Flock of Smeagols
- Why does Gandalf prefer coupes? Because other cars have Mordor.
- What do you call a magic drug deal? A Gandalf handoff.
- Why did Gandalf the Grey drop out of high school? He could not pass
Witty Gandalf Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about gandalf you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean hobbit jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make gandalf pranks.
Why didn't Gandalf bring h**... to Bilbo's birthday party?
Because he is not a conjurer of cheap tricks.
Why does Gandalf never dress as a p**... for halloween?
Because he doesn't want to be taken as a conjurer of cheap tricks.
A Little Known Fact About the Works of J.R.R Tolkien
For his Eleventy-first birthday, instead of fireworks, Bilbo initially asked Gandalf if he could bring the band that plays Dream Police to perform a concert at the party.
This enraged Gandalf however, as Bilbo Baggins took him for some conjurer of Cheap Trick.
I named my enlarged prostate Gandalf
Because every time I try to go it shouts "YOU SHALL NOT p**...!"
Why doesn't Gandalf dress as a p**... for Halloween?
So people do not take him as a conjurer of cheap tricks.
A fiery d**..., clad in sleigh bells, entered the chamber.
Gandalf immediately froze in fear. It was what he had feared since entering Moria.
With each horrific step, the bells jangled d**....
That's the jingle bell, muttered Gandalf.
Step.
That's the jingle bell.
Step.
That's the jingle Balrog.
What to say when someone knocks on the door of the public bathroom stall you're in
"We don't want any more visitors, well-wishers, or distant relations."
If they reply "Well what about old friends?", then you really should probably consider if you're decent before letting Gandalf in.
Gandalf is Attending a Rock Concert...
Gandalf gets up on stage before the main act of a rock concert. He stares at the crowd, who cheer for the headlining band. "I am a conjurer of Cheap Trick!" He yells, and crowd surfs off to Valinor.
Have you heard that Gandalf is joining the Seahawks as a coach?
He has only one strat: "You shall not pass!"
Me and the lads did a Lord of The Rings marathon last weekend
Ran 26 miles dressed as Gandalf
Why does the Time pass?
Because Gandalf allowed it to pass.
