The Best 39 Gandalf Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Gandalf jokes. There are some gandalf sauron jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these gandalf hermione puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Gandalf Jokes and Puns

My girl keeps having disturbed dreams, shouting things like "Hobbit!", "Gandalf!", and "Mordor!".

Always Tolkien in her sleep...

What does my physics professor have in common with Gandalf?


What do you get when Gandalf and Bilbo are your network engineers?

A Tolkien Ring Network

Gandalf joke, What do you get when Gandalf and Bilbo are your network engineers?

What did Gandalf say when he bumped into the other wizard?

"Saruman, I didn't see you there".

Hey, Gandalf! What's your favourite kind of insect?


Why does Gandalf prefer coupes?

Because other cars have Mordor.

How does Gandalf know he's pregnant?

A wizard is never late.

Gandalf joke, How does Gandalf know he's pregnant?

What do hobbits secretly call Gandalf when he drinks too much ?

The White Wizzer

Gandalf is the new coach of the Seattle Seahawks.

Have you heard that Gandalf is joining the Seahawks as a coach?

He has only one strat: "You shall not pass!"

Why doesn't Gandalf dress as a pimp for Halloween?

So people do not take him as a conjurer of cheap tricks.

You can explore gandalf baggins reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean gandalf smaug dad jokes. There are also gandalf puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Why did Gandalf have to go to the hospital to get a splinter removed?

He had a staff infection...

Why does Gandalf never dress as a pimp for halloween?

Because he doesn't want to be taken as a conjurer of cheap tricks.

Gandalf gave me a test...

I didn't pass.

I wore my "Gandalf for President" shirt to the comic convention.

It got a lot of support, but some were turned off by my candidate's hard stance on immigration.

Why is Gandalf so good in bed?

Because a wizard is never late, nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to.

Gandalf joke, Why is Gandalf so good in bed?

Why did Gandalf the Grey drop out of high school?

He could not pass

Gandalf is Attending a Rock Concert...

Gandalf gets up on stage before the main act of a rock concert. He stares at the crowd, who cheer for the headlining band. "I am a conjurer of Cheap Trick!" He yells, and crowd surfs off to Valinor.

Donald Trump's family bought him a Gandalf the Grey costume for his birthday.

Unfortunately, this wasn't the sort of Grand Wizard outfit he had in mind...

What did Gandalf say to Elrond as he watched him make a basket?

There Hugo Weaving again.

Which wizard would be the worst professor?

Gandalf, because YOU SHALL NOT PASS!

Why does the Time pass?

Because Gandalf allowed it to pass.

Why was Gandalf allowed his staff into Theoden's hall?

Because it was Staff Only

How does Gandalf transmit a large amount of information from one place to another?

He uses a Shadowfax.

A fiery demon, clad in sleigh bells, entered the chamber.

Gandalf immediately froze in fear. It was what he had feared since entering Moria.

With each horrific step, the bells jangled damnation.

That's the jingle bell, muttered Gandalf.


That's the jingle bell.


That's the jingle Balrog.

What did Gandalf say to the sheep farmer that wanted to cross his land?

Ewe shall not pass.

Why would Gandalf be a good NASCAR driver?


what did Hagrid say to Gandalf?

stop playing with hobbits, yer a wizzard!

If Gandalf wanted to go on an overseas holiday, what would he do?

Fly, *you fools*.

What does Cowboy Bilbo Baggins say to his wizard friend as he sets out for a Himalayan adventure?

Mao-uhns, Gandalf, I need MAO-UHNS!

My teachers at school were like Gandalf the Grey...

...not kindly and wise and guiding me to wisdom; more standing in front of me, waving a cane and shouting "You shall not pass!"

I once had a teacher named Mr. Gandalf

No one passed his class

Me and the lads did a Lord of The Rings marathon last weekend

Ran 26 miles dressed as Gandalf

What do you call a magic drug deal?

A Gandalf handoff.

My partner keeps on having disturbed dreams

My partner keeps on having disturbed dreams, shouting things like "Hobbit!", "Mordor!" and "Gandalf!"

Always Tolkien in their sleep...

Having Gandalf as a driving instructor is awful

Keeps telling me I'm not gonna pass :(

Why did Gandalf opt to send Frodo, of all beings, on the most perilous mission Middle-Earth had ever known?

Force of hobbit.

I named my enlarged prostate Gandalf

Because every time I try to go it shouts "YOU SHALL NOT PISS!"

Why didn't Gandalf bring hookers to Bilbo's birthday party?

Because he is not a conjurer of cheap tricks.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the gandalf bells jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working gandalf dwarves piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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