The Best 43 Gand Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Gand jokes. There are some gand gentlemanly jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these gand arab puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Gand Jokes and Puns

Gandhi...

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ....A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

What do you get when Gandalf and Bilbo are your network engineers?

A Tolkien Ring Network

Gandhi once got into a food fight...

It was naan violence.

Gand joke, Gandhi once got into a food fight...

If Gandhi went on a 100 day journey with no shoes or toiletries...

... he would be a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis

What did Gandalf say when he bumped into the other wizard?

"Saruman, I didn't see you there".


What did Gandhi say to the British, after they asked him to move?

Nah, mastay

Gandhi, as you know, would walk barefoot everywhere...

...and as a result he developed these massive callouses on his feet. He would also fast, from time to time. Because of this lack of food his bones became extremely brittle. It would also give him hallucinations from time to time. Finally, Gandhi never really had the time to clean his teeth and he became cursed with really bad breath.

In summary, Gandhi was a super-calloused fragile mystic plagued with halitosis.

Gand joke, Gandhi, as you know, would walk barefoot everywhere...

So we all know about Gandhi right?

Well Gandhi as well know was a very important person who in recent times has taken on a mystic quality to some. He often fasted for long periods of time making him rather weak and fragile, he went barefoot for long periods of time and so it's fair to assume he built up lots and lots of callouses and he was reported at one point to have very bad breath because of a gum disease. This all means he was a...

Super Calloused Fragile Mystic Hexed By Halitosis

Why does Gandalf prefer coupes?

Because other cars have Mordor.

What'd Gandhi say when his friend told him to leave the protest?

Na 'ma ste

How does Gandalf know he's pregnant?

A wizard is never late.

You can explore gand pass reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean gand super dad jokes. There are also gand puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Gandalf is the new coach of the Seattle Seahawks.

Gand father sits with his Grandson in a pub

He leans over to his Grandson and says "Laddy, you see that pier out in the water? I built that with me own hands. I planed it straight, and sanded it smooth, but do they call me MacGregor the Pier Builder? No." "And Laddy, you see the bar here? I built it as well, even hand carved the ends. But do they call me MacGregor the Bar Builder? Nooo."

"Listen here Son, you screw ONE goat"...

Why doesn't Gandalf dress as a pimp for Halloween?

So people do not take him as a conjurer of cheap tricks.

Why did Gandalf have to go to the hospital to get a splinter removed?

He had a staff infection...

Why does Gandalf never dress as a pimp for halloween?

Because he doesn't want to be taken as a conjurer of cheap tricks.

Gand joke, Why does Gandalf never dress as a pimp for halloween?

Gandhi walked barefoot most of the time, was quite skinny, and apparently had bad breath.

That'd make him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis

What do Gandhi and Usain Bolt have in common?

They both fast

Gandalf gave me a test...

I didn't pass.


Why is Gandalf so good in bed?

Because a wizard is never late, nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to.

Why did Gandalf the Grey drop out of high school?

He could not pass

Gandalf is Attending a Rock Concert...

Gandalf gets up on stage before the main act of a rock concert. He stares at the crowd, who cheer for the headlining band. "I am a conjurer of Cheap Trick!" He yells, and crowd surfs off to Valinor.

What did Gandalf say to Elrond as he watched him make a basket?

There Hugo Weaving again.

Why was Gandalf allowed his staff into Theoden's hall?

Because it was Staff Only

How does Gandalf transmit a large amount of information from one place to another?

He uses a Shadowfax.

What did Gandhi say after his hunger strike?

That was fast.

What did Gandalf say to the sheep farmer that wanted to cross his land?

Ewe shall not pass.

How did Gandlaf know that Frodo would take the ring to Mount Doom?

coz Elijah Would

Why was Gandhi thrown out of the orchestra?

He rejected the violins.

It took Gandhi over a month to cross the Alps barefoot, no washing, worn out, and survived only on garlic. He was a...

Super-calloused fragile mystic, extra halitosis.

Gandhi said that you should become the change you wish to see in the world

So I started dating myself.

If Gandalf wanted to go on an overseas holiday, what would he do?

Fly, *you fools*.

When Gandhi was on his first hunger strike

People would routinely bring him flattened bread in an attempt to get him to eat. What people don't understand though is that Gandhi was actually a very temperamental man, and prone to anger. So even when his friends and family were the ones bringing him bread, he would take it and hurl it at them, sometimes leaving bruises and welts. He justified it by saying it was all a part of his philosophy of naan-violence.

Why was Gandhi an advocate of naan violence?

Because Hindus hate beef

So Gandhi wandered the desert barefoot and had hard, worn feet...

He was very thin from fasting often, his followers considered him prophetic, and because of his fasting and strange diet had chronic bad breath.

In short, you could say he was a

Super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis

Gandhi, the first hippie

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Having Gandalf as a driving instructor is awful

Keeps telling me I'm not gonna pass :(

Why did Gandalf opt to send Frodo, of all beings, on the most perilous mission Middle-Earth had ever known?

Force of hobbit.

Why didn't Gandalf bring hookers to Bilbo's birthday party?

Because he is not a conjurer of cheap tricks.

What did Gandhi say while having dinner with the Queen of England?

"Could you pass the salt?"

What do we know about Gandhi?

Well, he walked barefoot and was a vegetarian.. he ate very little and practiced yoga, and was a minimalist who likely didn't brush his teeth either, giving him bad breath.

He was a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Why cant gandalf mark tests?

Because he always tells the students 'YOU…SHALL NOT PASS!'

Why didn't Gandalf get hired at Hogwarts?

He kept telling the students,, "Thou shalt not pass."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the gand lasses jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working gand gandalf piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes