game Jokes

funny jokes and hilarious game stories

What are the best Game puns and pranks?

Did you ever wanted to prank someone about Game? Well here is a complete list of Game dad jokes:

R Kelly is really changing the rap game

He takes the art out of rap artist


Why is everyone criticising EA?

I've only ever known EA as an excellent video game company and pioneer of the early home computer games industry. EA has always had my enjoyment as their primary concern and their community involvement is phenomenal.

($50 has been deposited into your Paypal account, remember to delete this part of the message before posting it).


What is the difference between Game of Thrones and Twitter?

With Twitter you only get 140 characters.


I almost got caught trying to steal a board game yesterday

it was a risk I was willing to take


What did the gamer say when his girlfriend asked what World of Warcraft and League of Legends were?

"Wow, lol"


Truth or Dare

My daughter invited some friends round at the weekend. After a few drinks, they got a game of Truth or Dare going. I listened from the other room, being the nosey little fucker I am.

The bottle landed on my daughter and she said, "Truth."

"Ok," asked her friend. "When did you last have an orgasm?"

She said, "Three days ago."

Then I burst in the room and said, "I knew you were faking it last night!"


You can tell monopoly's an old game...

...because there's a luxury tax and rich people can go to jail


Why is there no black character in the game "Clue"?

Because then it would be called "Solved."


A joke my grandmother, of all people, told me when I was a kid.

I don't know how many of y'all have heard this joke, but here it goes.

Two guys were at a University of Georgia football game when one of them looks down at the Georgia Bulldog sidelines and sees Uga, the school mascot, licking himself like dogs like to do. The guy smiles, leans over to his buddy while pointing at Uga and says, "Man, I wish I could do that". His friend looks back at him in surprise and says, "Man, that dog would bite you!"


I met my current girlfriend at a midnight game release

It was destiny


A woman is out playing golf...

...and she gets stung by a bee. It's annoying, but she finishes her game. Afterwards, she's having a drink in the clubhouse and mentions to one of the golf pros hanging out there what happened.

"Oh that's too bad," he says. "Where did you get stung?"

"Right between the first and second hole," she tells him.

"Hmmm," he says, "Sounds like your stance is too wide."


nsfw Wife's New Panties

A frustrated wife buys a pair of crotchless panties in an attempt to spice up her dead sex life. She puts them on, along with a short skirt and sets on the sofa opposite her husband. At certain moments during the game, she would uncross her legs, just long enough for her husband to see. Finally after a number of times he asks "Are you wearing crotchless panties?" "Yesss." she says smiling seductively "Thank God." he says "I thought you were sitting on the cat."


Football with a blonde girlfriend

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents." Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?" "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, hello? It's only 25 cents!"


What's Han Solo's favorite type of video game?

First person shooter.


It's Only A Game?

At the golf course one Sunday, Bernie's about to putt, when a funeral procession turns the corner just off the course and begins to roll by. Bernie straightens up from his putter, takes his hat off, and holds it over his heart. He stands there silently like that, facing the procession, until it passes. Then he bends over again and makes his putt.
Β Β Β Β Β  "That was a very thoughtful gesture," a member of his foursome says to him as they walk towards the next tee. "You are one compassionate guy."
Β Β Β Β Β "Thank you," replies Bernie. "We would have been married 25 years next Tuesday."


You guys want to play that new Michael Brown drinking game?

It's easy, you just stand there and take eight shots.


Do you know the Pistorious drinking game?

Every time your girlfriend comes into the room you take four shots.


A man goes to a store to buy groceries.

When he gets to the Butchery, he asks for three steaks.
The butcher asks if he'd like to play a game, after which the man replies that he would.
The butcher climbs a ladder up to the ceiling, easily 9 or 10 feet, and hangs them on hooks up there.
When he climbs down, the butcher says "If you can jump up and get all of your steaks in 3 tries, all of your groceries are free."
The man asks, "What's the catch?"
The butcher replies, "If you fail to get the steaks in three tries, you have to pay for your groceries and those of the man behind you in line."
After some consideration, the man replies "No."
The butcher asks, "Why not?"
The man simply replies "The stakes are too high."


Fred gets home from his weekly golf game....

and his wife asks how it went. Fred says: "It was terrible. George had a heart attack and died on the 11th fairway. It was awful." His wife is understandably shaken and says: "That's terrible, poor George." Fred says fuck George, poor me! The whole back side of the course it was hit the ball, drag George, hit the ball, drag George.........."


On long plane trip, a woman is sitting next to a lawyer. She wants to sleep, but the lawyer does not stop talking...

*"Let's play a game"* - he suggests.

The woman ignores him.

*"To make it interesting"* - he continues - *"if I answer incorrectly to your question, I'll pay you $50. If you answer incorrectly to my question, you pay me $5."*

The woman agrees, and the lawyer asks the first question.

*"What is the distance between Earth and the Moon?"*

The woman hands him $5. Now it's her turn.

*"What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?"*

The lawyer is astonished. He frantically surfs the Internet, searches his pocket encyclopedia and asks his scientist friends. He finds nothing. Hours later, when finally giving up looking for the answer, he wakes the woman, hands her $50 and asks:

*"So, what is the answer?"*

Without saying a word, she hands him $5 and goes back to sleep.



A man came home from a poker game...

A man came home from a poker game late one night and found his hideous harpy of a wife waiting for him with a rolling pin. "Where the hell have you been?" she asked.
"You'll have to pack all your things, dear," he ad-libbed. "I've just lost you in a card game." "How did you manage to do that?" "It wasn't easy, honest. I had to fold with a royal flush."


NFC Championship game

A guy goes to the NFC championship game. He's got great seats, right on the 50 yard line. He looks over and there is an old man sitting next to an empty seat. So he asks, Do you know who this seat belongs to?

The old man says yes, my wife and I have been coming to these games for 40 years. That used to be her seat before she passed away.

Oh, sorry for your loss. Why leave it empty? Why not bring a friend or family member?

I would have he says, but they are all at her funeral.


Blonde at the Superbowl

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to the Super Bowl game.

They had great seats right behind their team's bench.

After the game, he asked her how she liked it.

"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the

tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't

understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."

Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, "What do you


"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it,Β  then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was...


'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!'

I'm like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!"


"So JosΓ©, how was America?"

"Oh it was wonderful, amigo, those Americans are so kind. I went to go watch a real American baseball game but the tickets were all sold out. Feeling bummed out I walked around the side of the stadium when I saw a flag pole right next to the field! I climbed right up it and could see the whole baseball diamond with the players getting ready for the game."

"You had to watch from a flag pole? I thought you said the Americans were nice."

"Oh they are amigo! Before the game began every American stood up, looked right at me, and hollered, "JosΓ©, can you see?"


So a newlywed couple is in bed after their wedding day when...

The husband lets out a massive fart and the wife says " What was that?"
The husband responds "A game. Im winning 7-0" later the wife lets out a fart and says "7-7!"
The wife follows up with another poot and claims the score 14-7. Finally the the husband fart so explosively that he shits the bed. The wife says "What does that mean?"
The husband replies "halftime switch sides."


Have you heard about the Oscar Pistorius drinking game?

Every time your girlfriend goes to the bathroom, you take 5 shots.


I like my women like I like my golf game

Around 80 and handicapped.


A man is watching a world cup final in a sold out stadium

He notices an empty seat just in front of his and says to the guy sitting next to it, "Hey man, how come this seat here's empty? Tickets for this game havee been sold out for months!"

"Well, the seat was meant for my wife, but sadly, she passed away"

"Oh. I'm sorry to hear that. But couldn't you get a friend or relative to come along instead?"

"Nah, they're all at the funeral."


Why did they stop the leper hockey game?

There was a face off in the corner.


What did fruit loops say when launching their product to compete with cheerios?

Toucan play at that game


Here is one of my favourite Iranian jokes that I've translated to English for you all, hope you like it

One day there was a king who had the the most beautiful daughter anyone had ever seen.

Everyone wanted to sleep with his daughter so he thought he would make a game of this.

King: "Anyone who can wrestle my lion and kill it will be given permission fuck my daughter"

For days men would turn up from all over the land to try and kill the lion and would fail miserably. Finally a Turkish man showed up and went into the empty arena with the lion.

They were wrestling for about 30 minutes and everyone could hear loud screams from both.

After 45 minutes the door opens and the Turkish man walks out batterer and bruised takes a deep breath, brushes off his shoulder and says "Right, so who do I have to kill?"


Successful Sons.

Four friends met up for a game of golf, and while one man went to grab a drink, the other three men spoke about how successful their sons are.

Guy 1: My son is so successful he owns a car dealership and just gave his best friend a Ferarri.

Guy 2: Thats nothing, my son owns an airliner and just gave his best friend a private jet

Guy 3: Well my son is more success than that, he owns an architecture firm and just gave his best friend a castle

Guy 4 walks back to the group of the other 3 guys

Guy 4: Hey guys what are we talking about

Guy 1: Oh, we are talking about how successful our sons are

Guy 4:Well, my son is a Gay stripper

Guy 2: You must be so disappointed with what he's done with his life

Guy 4: Actually, he is doing very well for himself. He just got a Ferrari, a jet, and a castle from his three boyfriends.


New drinking game! Draw a card. If it's black take a shot.

I call it the Ferguson


Two guys were trapped in a desert island.. NSFW

A lot of time went by and they were starting to feel a little horny. So one said to the other

-Man, i never had any gay sex before..not sure i feel comfortable about it..

-Ok, since both of us never had gay sex before and neither of us wants to get fucked, lets play a game. I will ask you a question, If you get it right, I let you fuck me. And if youre wrong, I fuck you. Deal?

-Ok, deal.

-What animal is small and furry and goes "meow"?

-A crocodile



New to Baseball

Coming home from his Little League game, Billy swung open the front door very excited. Unable to attend the game, his father immediately wanted to know what happened. "So, how did you do son?" he asked.

"You'll never believe it!" Billy said. "I was responsible for the winning run!"

"Really? How'd you do that?"

"I dropped the ball."


Pet Lobster

Game Warden stops a man with a lobster in a bucket and says, it's illegal, it's not lobster season. Man says , he's my pet. I bring him down in the morning, pour him in and come back in the afternoon and let the bucket down into the water and call him. Then he climbs into the bucket and I take him back home. Warden says he doesn't believe him. "I'll show you", says the guy and walks to the end of the pier and pours the lobster into the ocean. They wait a while and the Warden says, "OK , now call the lobster." The guy says,"What lobster?"


What is Hitler's favorite video game?

Mein Craft.


Two guys are playing tennis.

After they finish their game, one turns to the other and tells his friend his elbow really hurts. His friend tells him to go down to the local pharmacy. At the pharmacy they have a machine where you put in $5 and a urine sample, and the machine will tell you what's wrong and how to cure it. The friend is astonished so he goes down. He puts in the $5 and a urine sample and the machine prints out a little sheet of paper. On the paper it says: You have tennis elbow, rest your elbow, stay away from strenuous activity, and it should go away. This guy is amazed. He drives home quickly, thinking he can test the machine. So, he grabs a big glass. He puts some tap water in, gets his wife and daughter to pee in it, and just for fun he masturbates into it. He goes back down puts in $5 and the sample. A large list prints out. It says: You have hard water get, a water softener, your daughter is addicted to heroin, get her into rehab, your wife is cheating on you, get a lawyer, and if you don't quit masturbating your tennis elbow is never going to go away.


3 ducks

A hillbilly went hunting one day in West Virginia and bagged three ducks. He put them in the bed of his pickup truck and was about to drive home where he was confronted by an ornery game warden who didn't like hillbillies.The game warden ordered to the hillbilly to show his hunting license, and the hillbilly pulled out a valid West Virginia hunting license. The game warden looked at the license, then reached over and picked up one of the ducks, sniffed its butt, and said, This duck ain't from West Virginia . This is a Kentucky duck. You got a Kentuckey huntin' license, boy? The hillbilly reached into his wallet and produced a Kentucky hunting license.

The game warden looked at it, then reached over and grabbed the second duck, sniffed its butt, and said, This ain't no Kentucky duck. This duck's from Tennessee. You got an Tennessee license?
The hillbilly reached into his wallet and produced an Tennessee license. The warden then reached over and picked up the third duck, sniffed its butt, and said This ain't no Tennessee duck. This here duck's from Virginia. . You got a Virginia. huntin' license?

Again the hillbilly reached into his wallet and brought out a Virginia. hunting license. The game warden was extremely frustrated at this point, and he yelled at the hillbilly Just where the hell are you from?
The hillbilly turned around, bent over, dropped his pants, and said You tell me, you're the expert!!


What did the English chav say when he won a game of chess?

Check m8.


My friend said to me, "Whenever a World Cup game is on, let's eat something to do with that team for dinner that night."

Mexico was on, we had burritos.
Japan was on, we had sushi.
USA was on, we had burgers.
Italy was on, we had pizza.
Tuesday is England, so we're going out.


What was the Neo Nazi's favorite computer game?

Mein Kraft


An Australian on safari...

An Aussie is tramping through a jungle with his hunting gear. He comes into a clearing and finds a stunningly beautiful naked women sprawled out across a bed of leaves.
"My god," he says. "Are you game?"
She smiles invitingly, "Yes I am."
So he shoots her.


Firetruck game

Boy: Lets play the firetruck game.

Girl: How do you play?

Boy: I run my fingers up your leg, and you say, "red light" when you want me to stop.

Girl: Okay :)

*Few seconds later*


Boy: Firetrucks don't stop for red lights ;)


Sex is like playing a game of Bridge...

If you don't have a good a partner, then you better have a good hand.


What was Hitler's favourite video game?

Mein Kraft


What's the difference between Twitter and Game of Thrones?

Twitter only allows 140 characters.


My boyfriend and I were at my daughter's volleyball game...

when we noticed a couple in the bleachers.
They were being VERY affectionate.
She was running her hands all over him and nibbling on his ear.
He had his hands on her too.
I said to my boyfriend,
"I don't know whether to watch them or the game."
He said, "Watch them, you already know how to play volleyball. -_-"


A Kinect game made me angry enough to throw the controller at a wall...

I've been in the hospital for 2 days now.


Why does the game Clue have no black characters?

Because it would be called solved.



You've red some of the best game jokes of all time. We hope you had fun with this collection of 50 puns about game. Most of the stories are suitable for kids with good sense of humor, children or teens boys and girls, of course dads. You must supervise your chidlren not to read pranks for adults. Note that some jokes are disgusting, filled with black humor so don't tell dirty game gags to your kids. So please respect and be a good joking daddy !

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