Game Jokes

Hilarious puns and funny pick up lines

R Kelly is really changing the rap game

He takes the art out of rap artist

Why is everyone criticising EA?

I've only ever known EA as an excellent video game company and pioneer of the early home computer games industry. EA has always had my enjoyment as their primary concern and their community involvement is phenomenal.

($50 has been deposited into your Paypal account, remember to delete this part of the message before posting it).

WARNING... Dad joke ahead.

This actually just happened.

Wife and Son are playing an intense game of battle ship.

Son: I-8

Me: I haven't ate... I'm hungry

Wife: (not finding the humor)... miss... E-10

Me: Grammar Nazi.

Ebay needs to step their game up.

I searched for a cigarette lighter and 15,000 matches came up.

North Korea has a new war game

The North Korean state media just announced today that in the event of possible war all citizens are ordered to follow Donald Trump on Twitter, as there's no way in hell he would risk losing 42 million followers

My parents used to tell me that drug dealers would offer me free drugs until i got addicted to them, then they would charge me extremly high prices for it once i got addicted.

Looking at games in the App Store, I think all those drug dealers turned to game developers.

Warning: Game of Thrones Spoilers

Will make your car look fucking stupid

I was given MDMA and LSD tonight...

What a shit way to start a game of Scrabble.

I caught my wife cheating with my best friend.

She was upset that I was always beating her, and he was jealous of how much money and property I had.

I was so angry when I caught them that I flipped the game board over and left them to pick up all the pieces.

What is the difference between Game of Thrones and Twitter?

With Twitter you only get 140 characters.

A man and a woman rotate to the same table in a game of speed dating.

"Hi!" says the woman cheerfully, "Just so you know, I'm deaf, but I can read lips. Just talk as you normally do and I'll let you know if I didn't catch something. So, what do you do for a living?"

"I'm a ventriloquist," says the man.

"What?" says the woman.

Yesterday I robbed the oversized board game store

It was a huge Risk that I was willing to take

I almost got caught trying to steal a board game yesterday

it was a risk I was willing to take

What's Adolf Hitler's favourite computer game?

Mein Kraft.

What did the gamer say when his girlfriend asked what World of Warcraft and League of Legends were?

"Wow, lol"

What do you call a game where Germans throw bread at each other

Gluten tag

My first school rugby game was a bit like the first time having sex..

I was sore and bloody at the end... But at least my dad came

After winning the game, I threw the ball into the crowd just like they do on TV.

Apparently that's unacceptable in bowling.

Truth or Dare

My daughter invited some friends round at the weekend. After a few drinks, they got a game of Truth or Dare going. I listened from the other room, being the nosey little fucker I am.

The bottle landed on my daughter and she said, "Truth."

"Ok," asked her friend. "When did you last have an orgasm?"

She said, "Three days ago."

Then I burst in the room and said, "I knew you were faking it last night!"

You can tell monopoly's an old game...

...because there's a luxury tax and rich people can go to jail

Two guys in a communal shower...

Guy1: You wanna play the rape game?
Guy2: No.
Guy1: That's the spirit!!

After winning the game, I decided to throw the ball into the crowd, like they do on TV...

Apparently, that's unacceptable in bowling...

"Fortnite" is a terrible name for a game.

It's too weak.

Why is there no black character in the game "Clue"?

Because then it would be called "Solved."

What's a Communist's favorite video game?

*Don't Starve*

Losing my virginity was like my first football game.

It hurt a lot but at least my dad came.

Grandpa, grandpa! I'm watching a soccer game!

Who's playing?
Against who?

I met my current girlfriend at a midnight game release

It was destiny

I had an idea for a fighting game..

But turns out, it was tekken

What video game would Adolf Hitler play?

Mein Kraft.

Let's play the Oscar Pistorius drinking game

Whenever your girlfriend goes to the bathroom take a shot

Why do Canadians always do it doggy-style?

So they can both watch the hockey game.

My first highschool football game was a lot like my first time having sex...

I was pretty roughed up, sore, and kinda bloody, but at least my dad came (:

What is a Linux user's favorite game?

sudo ku

A woman is out playing golf...

...and she gets stung by a bee. It's annoying, but she finishes her game. Afterwards, she's having a drink in the clubhouse and mentions to one of the golf pros hanging out there what happened.

"Oh that's too bad," he says. "Where did you get stung?"

"Right between the first and second hole," she tells him.

"Hmmm," he says, "Sounds like your stance is too wide."

My first time having sex was alot like my first football game

It was painful, it was tiring

But at least my dad came

My sex life is like a video game

Single Player.

My first high-school football game was a lot like my first time having sex..

I was bloody and sore at the end, but at least my dad came.

nsfw Wife's New Panties

A frustrated wife buys a pair of crotchless panties in an attempt to spice up her dead sex life. She puts them on, along with a short skirt and sets on the sofa opposite her husband. At certain moments during the game, she would uncross her legs, just long enough for her husband to see. Finally after a number of times he asks "Are you wearing crotchless panties?" "Yesss." she says smiling seductively "Thank God." he says "I thought you were sitting on the cat."

Nervous about watching new Game of Thrones with my parents, due to all the sex.

Hopefully if I turn the volume up loud I won't hear them.

My son wanted me to buy him GTA

When I got to the store, I couldn't remember the title. So I told the guy "it's the game where the black guy drives cars round drunk, and shags loads of women"

He gave me a copy of tiger woods PGA golf

I've been a PC gamer for over 20 years. Yesterday I bought a PS4, best decision ever!

Now my 8 year old son doesn't have to touch my beloved PC!

Election Day Drinking Game:

Every time Donald Trump is elected President, we all drink and just never stop.

What's Han Solo's favorite type of video game?

First person shooter.

Board Game Shop

Me: I want a dice.

Clerk: The correct term is 'die'.

Me: I want 2 die.

Clerk: Plural is dice, alone it's die.

Me: I want 2 die alone.

Why did the gamer cross the road?

Buy the DLC to find out

I almost got caught stealing a board game today...

but it was a Risk I was willing to take.

Why are Canadians so good at sports?

They always bring their eh game

My first time having sex was a lot like my first high-school football game.

I was bruised and bloody in the end but at least my dad came.

Student 1:My name is Sean Archer and my surname represents that my forefathers were Archers

Student 2 : My name is Sarah Baker and my surname represents that my forefathers were Bakers

Student 3 : My name is John Dickinson and I fucking hate this game

After winning the game, I threw the ball into the crowd as they do on TV.

Evidently, that's unacceptable in bowling.

20 men walk into a bar

Worst game of limbo I've ever seen.

Two Muslim Brothers

Two Muslim brothers come to America and have a contest to see who can become more Americanized. A month later they get together and one proudly says "I took my son to a baseball game and we ate hot dogs!" The other replies "Fuck you, towelhead!"

So, I just tried a new drinking game.

I put in the Bee Movie, and every time they make a bee pun, I take a shot.

Unfortunately, I could only get buzzed.

What game do Anti-Vaxxer's kids play in the pool?

Marco Polio

You guys want to play that new Michael Brown drinking game?

It's easy, you just stand there and take eight shots.

My first time having sex was like watching a game of golf.

I hated it. It was really long and boring, and every time I complained my dad told me to shut the fuck up.

A guy gets taken to his cell on his first day of prison...

...he meets his cellmate for the first time, a huge hulk of a man, who turns to him and says, 'We're gonna play a game, a game of mommies and daddies... Do you wanna be the mommy or the daddy?'

The new convict relunctantly replies, 'I guess I'll, ...I'll be the, ...the daddy?...'

The inmate smiles and says 'Fantastic! ...Now come over here and suck mommy's cock'.

What classic game do Hawaiian kids love the most?

The floor is lava.

Do you know the Pistorious drinking game?

Every time your girlfriend comes into the room you take four shots.

What does The Walking Dead, Game of Thrones and Fast and Furious have in common?

All their Walkers are dead

How do Australians know who won the chess game?

They check, mate.

The blue whale is so big, that if you laid it end to end on a basketball court

The game would be cancelled.

What's the name of the fastest Chinese online game player?

Lo Ping

A Mexican man was visiting America.

He wanted to go to a genuine American baseball game so that when he went home, he could tell his family all about it, but when he got there the game was sold out, so he climbed to the top of the flag pole to get a good look.

"What happened?" asked his family.

"Well, America is the nicest place in the world!" he said. "Before the game started, all the people in the stands, and all the players, stood up, looked at me and said, "Jose, can you see?"

Who would win in a drinking game between an Irishman and a Scotsman?

The distillery.

What Does EA Call A Patch?

Next year's game.

Did you know that if all the capillaries of a human lung were rolled out onto a tennis court...

The game would likely be cancelled

I always use incognito mode when looking at porn and video game walkthroughs.

I don't want my wife to think I'm a cheater.

Too bad Anne Frank never watched Home Alone.

It could have been a real game changer.

Fred gets home from his weekly golf game....

and his wife asks how it went. Fred says: "It was terrible. George had a heart attack and died on the 11th fairway. It was awful." His wife is understandably shaken and says: "That's terrible, poor George." Fred says fuck George, poor me! The whole back side of the course it was hit the ball, drag George, hit the ball, drag George.........."

A man came home from a poker game...

A man came home from a poker game late one night and found his hideous harpy of a wife waiting for him with a rolling pin. "Where the hell have you been?" she asked.
"You'll have to pack all your things, dear," he ad-libbed. "I've just lost you in a card game." "How did you manage to do that?" "It wasn't easy, honest. I had to fold with a royal flush."

Has anyone played that weird Mexican carnival game where groundhogs pop out of holes and you have to smear them with avocado?

I really suck at Guac-a-mole.

Why can't PC gamers use Uber?

Too many incompatible drivers.

I made a 3D game about a depressed self-harming goth

It's mostly unskippable cutscenes.

Why are there no black people in the game Clue?

Because then, it would be called Solved.

What is the fastest way to become a millionaire?

Step 1: become a billionaire.

Step 2: buy an EA game.

When German children play a game involving touching each other with bread...

it's called gluten tag.

I'll show myself out.

TIL the movie Starship Troopers was never adapted into a successful video game because...


What are the funniest game jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Game? Well, here are the best Game puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Game pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes