Gambler Jokes

Funniest Gambler Short Jokes

Short gambler jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The gambler humour may include short gambling jokes also.

1. My wife broke up with me yesterday because I'm a compulsive gambler and ever since, all I can think about is... ...how to win her back.
2. Why was the gambler obsessed with getting to heaven? He heard it was a pair of dice.
   Courtesy of my 8 year old. I'm a bad parent.
3. A gambler hits the jackpot *What are we going to spend 10 million dollars on?* - asks his wife.
   "31 black"
4. What does your baby daddy have in common with an unlucky gambler? Neither of them pulled out in time.
5. Listen, all I'm saying is the gambler's fallacy has been right every time so far. It has to be wrong sooner or later!
6. So my wife and I need to go to Gamblers Anonymous because of our money problems I bet her twenty bucks I could finish all the steps before her. What are my odds?
7. Today I learned that johann Sebastian Bach was a big time gambler... It got so bad that he went baroque.
   Sorry...
8. What are the odds of a chronic gambler ever calling the addiction-helpline? No seriously, I've got $100 riding on this.
9. What's the single worst thing you can say to a gambler? It's not about winning, it's about having fun
10. What do a cattle farmer and a compulsive gambler have in common? They're both interested in raising the stakes/steaks.

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Gambler One Liners

Which gambler one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with gambler? I can suggest the ones about gambling problem and drinker.

1. Those aliens that abduct cows must be gamblers. They're always raising the steaks.
2. Why do gamblers feed their cows edibles? Because they like it when the steaks are high
3. Why are farmers aggressive gamblers? Because they raise the steaks.
4. Finally made the call to Gamblers Anonymous Bet them 3:1 they couldn't help me
5. Why did the gambler buy a cattle ranch? Because he wanted to raise the steaks
6. What's a gambler's favorite time of day? 10 to 1.
7. What is it called when a heavy gambler goes on vacation? Paradice...
8. Why did the gambler think he was in heaven? He found his pair a' dice!
9. What do you call a man who loses pounds for a living? A bad gambler
10. Why did a gambler scare everyone out swimming?
    He was a card shark.
11. Contrary to popular belief vampires do like stakes They are great gamblers
12. Have you heard about the sarcastic gambler? He was a real eye-roller!
13. Did you hear about the compulsive gambler with diarrhea? Well, he lost.
14. Why Did The Gambler Go To Asia? Tibet...
15. What Did The Dying Gambler Say To His Wife? "10 bucks says I don't need this oxygen tank"

Cheeky Gambler Jokes to Experience Good Cheer & Frivolity

What funny jokes about gambler you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean golfer jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make gambler pranks.