The Best 29 Gambler Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Gambler jokes. There are some gambler casino jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these gambler wager puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Gambler Jokes and Puns

My wife broke up with me yesterday because I'm a compulsive gambler and ever since, all I can think about is... to win her back.

My wife has left me because I'm a gambler.

How can I win her back?


A guy walks into a butcher's shop and says "Sir, are you a gambling man?"
The butcher says "Why yes, as a matter of fact I am."
"Then I'll bet you $25 you can't reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there."
The butcher thinks for a moment and says "I'm sorry, I won't take that bet."
The guy says "But I thought you said you were a gambling man."
"I am. But the steaks are too high."

Gambler joke, Gambler

Why was the gambler obsessed with getting to heaven?

He heard it was a pair of dice.

Courtesy of my 8 year old. I'm a bad parent.

A gambler hits the jackpot

*What are we going to spend 10 million dollars on?* - asks his wife.

"31 black"

Why did the gambler buy a cattle ranch?

Because he wanted to raise the steaks

What does your baby daddy have in common with an unlucky gambler?

Neither of them pulled out in time.

Gambler joke, What does your baby daddy have in common with an unlucky gambler?

What is it called when a heavy gambler goes on vacation?


Why did the gambler think he was in heaven?

He found his pair a' dice!

Today I learned that johann Sebastian Bach was a big time gambler...

It got so bad that he went baroque.


What are the odds of a chronic gambler ever calling the addiction-helpline?

No seriously, I've got $100 riding on this.

You can explore gambler jackpot reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean gambler gamble dad jokes. There are also gambler puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

What do you call a man who loses pounds for a living?

A bad gambler

Turns out, my new girlfriend is quite the gambler

What makes you say that?

Yesterday when we were having sex, she suddenly says: wanna make this more interesting?

No such thing as a free yatch [Long]

A salesman talked my uncle into buying 10,000 personalized pens for his business with the promise that 
he would be eligible to win a 32-foot yacht. A born gambler, my uncle agreed.

Well, he won, and a few weeks after the pens arrived, his prize showed up: a 12-inch plastic yacht with 
32 plastic feet glued to the bottom.

What's the single worst thing you can say to a gambler?

It's not about winning, it's about having fun

What did the first time gambler say to the dealer after being dealt an ace and a queen?

"I don't know how you know my name, but address me by the color of my skin again and we're gonna have problems."

Gambler joke, What did the first time gambler say to the dealer after being dealt an ace and a queen?

What did the depressed gambler say to his wife?

I wanna die

What do a cattle farmer and a compulsive gambler have in common?

They're both interested in raising the stakes/steaks.

Did you hear about the gambler who got busted for buying a large amount of weed?

They say he was a high roller.

Have you heard about the sarcastic gambler?

He was a real eye-roller!

Did you hear about the compulsive gambler with diarrhea?

Well, he lost.

Why Did The Gambler Go To Asia?


What Did The Dying Gambler Say To His Wife?

"10 bucks says I don't need this oxygen tank"

What happens when all the gamblers get their own gambling tool?

Everyone dice

Q: Where does a gambler refuel his car?

A: At Las Ve-gas.

I'm an expert gambler. I found this machine at the casino once where I won every time.

You just insert a dollar and it spits out 4 coins!

What's the best way to get a professional gambler off your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

Why did the cautious gambler never go camping?

He didn't want to stake his tent.

A gambler walked in to Mao Yings butcher shop

... and walked out immediately because the steaks were too high.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the gambler bet jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working gambler compulsive piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes