The Best 19 Gallows Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Gallows jokes. There are some gallows hang jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these gallows treeson puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Gallows Jokes and Puns

A man murdered his wife and was sentenced to death.

There was a crowd waiting around the gallows to watch. As the hangman put the noose around his neck, he was asked, Do you have any last words?

The murderer said, Yeah, I have a joke that I came up with while I was waiting.

So, I hadn't showered for a week by the day I killed my wife. I tied her up and told her that I'd cut her apart while she was still alive, and she told me, 'At least cut my nose off first.'

Everyone there burst out laughing. The hangman said, That joke was about something terrible! Why was it so funny?

Well, I believe you can make a joke about any topic funny, said the murderer. After all, good comedy is all about execution.

Donald Trump is standing in the gallows...

The executioner is fitting the rope around his neck.

Below the platform are all the news networks. They are all clamoring for a final statement before the man is hung for his crimes.

Trump simply smiles and shakes his head.

Finally, one question is heard above the roar of the crowd?

"Aren't you worried about dying?" A voice asks.

Trump shrugs his shoulders as he smiles again and shakes his head for the last time.

He replies: "Fake noose."

Manafort and Cohen flip on the President. Trump is convicted of treason. He is 'hung by the neck until dead.' Miraculously, minutes after his hanging, he walks out of the gallows and addresses the press:

"Fake noose, folks."

Gallows joke, Manafort and Cohen flip on the President. Trump is convicted of treason. He is 'hung by the neck unt

A journalist is sentenced to die at the gallows, but they run out of rope

He says: "I guess no noose is good news"

Turkish Political Humor

Current Turkish gallows humour: A prisoner goes to the prison library, asks for a specific book. The guard tells him, "we don't have that book... but we do have the author." From Moshik_Temkin on Twitter


A man is brought to the gallows to be executed.

As they're putting the noose around his neck, he's asked if he has any last requests. he asked for a high five. But they left him hanging.

How did the beggar survive the gallows?

Poor execution.

Gallows joke, How did the beggar survive the gallows?

What did the Mexican hangman serve his victims as a last meal?

Pico de Gallows

Two men, about to be hung from the gallows

Dave turns to John, and asks:
Dave: Why did the chicken cross the road?
John: I don't know.
Dave: Me neither, but I'll see you on the other side.

Turkish gallows humor

A prisoner goes to the prison library, and asks for a specific book. The guard tells him, "we don't have that book... but we do have the author."

I asked a criminal what he thought about the gallows?

He said,

"No noose is good noose."

You can explore gallows critism reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean gallows rope dad jokes. There are also gallows puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I'm not really fan of gallows humor

It just always leaves me hanging.

Where do criminals like to hang out?

At the gallows.

Why should you never high five someone in the gallows...

Because they always leave you hang'n

What are you doing when you Sentence almost a Dozen Surfers to death by the Gallows?

You're Hanging Ten, Dudes!

No one seems to like my gallows humor.

They get so hung up about it.

Gallows joke, No one seems to like my gallows humor.

Mum, where do I hang the clothes. The hanging line's gone.

Son, just hang them in the gallows. No one would know.

If I'm ever about to be hanged at the gallows I hope they put a horse in front of me.

Atleast then I can say that I was hung like a horse .

What do you call a pot hanging from the gallows?

A hypotenuse.


Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the gallows hypotenoose jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working gallows unspeakable piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes