The Best 37 Gallery Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Gallery jokes. There are some gallery portrait jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these gallery painter puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Gallery Jokes and Puns
So we agreed with each other, when we have intercourse next time we will record it.
Let's just say there's one more gif in my gallery.
A Painter and a Gallery Owner
Painter: How are my paintings selling?
Gallery Owner: Well, there is some good news and some bad news. A man came in the other day and asked me if you were a painter whose work would become more valuable after your death. When I told him I thought you were, he bought everything you had in the gallery.
Painter: Wow! That's terrific! What's the bad news?
Gallery Owner: He was your doctor
A painter got a call...
from the gallery that was showing his work. The gallery owner said, "I have good news and bad news. A fellow came in this morning and asked if your work is the kind that would increase in value after the artist's death. I sad yes, and he bought all fifteen paintings. The bad news is that he's your doctor."
An artist gets some good and bad news.
An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time.
"I have some good news and some bad news," the owner replied. The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death." "When I told him it would, he bought all fifteen of your paintings."
"That's wonderful," the artist exclaimed. "What's the bad news?"
"The guy is your doctor !"
A famous armorer was called to court...
…to demonstrate his new plate design. He set it on a stand in the middle of a grand gallery. The king called in his executioner, a dour and muscular man who prided himself in his ability to slice folk exactly in half, to strike the suit. With a sonorous clang! the executioner's heavy sword bounced off of the chest piece. Frustrated, he pointed an accusatory finger at the armorer and cried This is why we can't halve nice things!
I was walking around an art gallery with my wife.
"Does anything in this room get you excited?" she said, with a cheeky wink.
I said, "Yes, some of the paintings."
The Artist
An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in her paintings that were on display. "Well, I have good news and bad news," the owner responded. "The good news
is that a gentleman noticed your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. I told him it would and he bought all 10 of your paintings."
"That's wonderful," the artist exclaimed. "What's the bad news?"
"The gentleman was your doctor."
The Canadian Opera Company has announced that it will play a special concert series at the Vancouver Art Gallery.
They say that this will be the first time the COC has played in the VAG.
Art Gallery Nudes
A couple at an art gallery see a picture of a naked woman with only her privates covered with leaves.
The wife doesn't like it and moves on, but the husband keeps looking.
She asks, "What are you waiting for?"
He replies, "Autumn."
A critic goes to an art gallery and finds the artist of the pieces there.
Critic: "Would you like to know what I think of your art?"
Artist: "Oh, yes please"
Critic: "It's useless"
Artist: "I know, but I would still like to hear it. "
Why did the console peasant faint at the art gallery
There were too many frames
You can explore gallery renaissance reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean gallery rembrandt dad jokes. There are also gallery puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Why did the console player get sick in the art gallery?
There were too many frames.
Why did the console gamer faint when they visited the art gallery
There were too many frames
I was at an art gallery.
"Absolutely beautiful, isn't it?" I asked the guy next to me. "The way the yellow combines with the grey. The way the colours intertwine. Truly remarkable."
He stepped away from the urinal and left.
Congrats to the National Gallery on receiving a substantial donation of French Impressionist and Eastern European artwork.
Which is to say ... they're getting Monet for nothing and the Czechs for free.
A struggling artist gets his first painting in to an art gallery
A struggling artist gets his first painting in to an art gallery. An art critic approaches him:
-Would you like to hear my professional opinion on your painting?
-Sure.
-It's pretty much worthless.
-I don't mind, you can tell me anyway.
A painter asked: How am I selling?
Gallery Owner: Well there's good news and bad news. A man came in and asked me if you were a painter whose work would become more valuable after your death. When I told him I thought you were, he brought everything you had in the gallery.
Painter: Wow! That's terrific! What's the bad news?
Gallery Owner: He was your doctor
I went to an Art Gallery, it was $60 to enter and $80 to look at each picture.
It was called Electronic Arts.
A women is in court for shoplifting a tin of peaches
The Judge says, you are a persistent offender, I've decided I'm going to make an example of you, I'm going to open a tin of peaches and for every peach I count, you will get a month in jail.
He counts 7 peaches, sentences her to 7 months inside and asks for her to be taken down.
As she walks past the gallery her husband, who is not happy with the sentence, shouts at the Judge "SHE HAD TWO TINS OF PEAS AS WELL"
'I love your paintings'
Someone in an art gallery
or
a Jamaican in a bondage shop.
A woman in court for stealing a tin of peaches....
The judge asked her "how many peaches were there in the tin that you stole"?
She replied "four, your honour".
The judge said I am going to send you to prison for four month's for every peach, take her down.
Then her husband in the public gallery shouted "she stole a tin of peas too".....
Karen visits an art gallery
Karen: I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call modern art?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon Ma'am, that is a mirror.
The thief pulled out his gun, pointed it at the art gallery manager and said
"This is a robbery, give me all your monet!"
A musical canon piece is currently being hung from the art gallery ceiling for all to see.
We tried asking a worker for directions, but he was too busy hanging a round.
An artist takes his work to a gallery for the first time.
A well-known art critic happens to be there and spots the painting. He walks over to the young artist.
"Excuse me, would you like my opinion of your painting?"
"Sure," replied the artist.
"Frankly, it's completely worthless."
"I know, but tell it to me anyway."
The Artist
An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings which were on display.
''I have good news and bad news'' the owner replied.
''The good news is that a gentleman enquired if your paintings will increase in value after your death. When I told them they would, he bought all the 15 paintings hanging here!''
''That's wonderful!'' the artist exclaimed, ''What's the bad news?''
''The bad news is that the guy was your doctor''
An artist talks to his curator about his recent sales
Artist: "So? Did I sell anything?"
Curator: "You won't believe this: a man came by and asked if the value of the paintings will rise after the artist's death. I told him that I think so. So he bought the entire gallery.
Artist: "Wow! That's great! who was he?"
Curator: "It was your doctor."
An Englishman, a Frenchman, and a Russian are in an art gallery
They are looking at a painting of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden.
"Look at how reserved and calm they are," the Englishman says, "they would definitely be English."
"They are naked and beautiful, they would have to be French." The Frenchmen counters.
The Russian speaks up, "no clothes, no shelter, no bed, they have only an apple between them, and they're told this is paradise. They are certainly Russian."
An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time.
"I have good news and bad news," the owner replied. "The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings." "That's wonderful," the artist exclaimed. "What's the bad news?" "The guy was your doctor."
The limo driver opened an animal hide gallery.
The chauffeur show furs
A woman goes into an art gallery and sees two still-life pictures. Both are of a table laid for lunch with a glass of wine, a basket of bread rolls and a plate of sliced ham. However, one picture is selling for $75 and the other for $100.
Curious, she goes to the gallery owner and asks him what the difference is between the two pictures. The owner points at the $100 painting and says, You get more ham with that one.
I visited an art gallery.
"Absolutely gorgeous, don't you think?" I asked the fellow next to me. "The way the yellow combines with the grey...the way the colours intertwine. Truly beautiful."
He slowly stepped away from the urinal and left.
I was once in an art gallery once looking at a painting of Margaret Thatcher in a bikini ...
a security guard wandered over to me and said sir you can't wear that in here
Artist: How are my paintings selling?
Gallery owner: When I explained how the value would greatly increase after your death, very well! One person bought 15 paintings!
Artist: "Oh! That's amazing! Who bought them?
Gallery owner: Your doctor.
An artist asked the gallery owner if……
there had been any interest in her paintings that were on display.
"Well, I have good news and bad news," the owner responded. "The good news is that a gentleman noticed your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. I told him it would and he bought all 10 of your paintings."
"That's wonderful," the artist exclaimed. "What's the bad news?"
"The gentleman was your doctor."
An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings at that time.
"I have good news and bad news", the owner replied. "Which one would you you like to hear first?"
"Give me the good news first."
"The good news is that, a man enquired about your work and wondered, if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it will, he brought all fifteen of your paintings."
The artist exclaims, "That's wonderful. What's the bad news?"
"The man was your doctor......."
Visiting the origami art gallery was really expensive
It was pay per view
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the gallery custer jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working gallery showroom piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.