Gallery Jokes
45 gallery jokes and hilarious gallery puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about gallery that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover some of the funniest art gallery jokes and puns from art facilities such as MOMA and the Renaissance galleries. Enjoy a good chuckle from the peanut gallery and have a good time laughing at the silliest art stories.
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Funniest Gallery Short Jokes
Short gallery jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The gallery humour may include short carousel jokes also.
- I went to an Art Gallery, it was $60 to enter and $80 to look at each picture. It was called Electronic Arts.
- I was once in an art gallery once looking at a painting of Margaret Thatcher in a bikini ... a security guard wandered over to me and said sir you can't wear that in here
- Did you hear about the magician who made an entire art gallery disappear? Now museum, now you don't
- The thief pulled out his gun, pointed it at the art gallery manager and said "This is a robbery, give me all your monet!"
- I was walking around an art gallery with my wife. "Does anything in this room get you excited?" she said, with a cheeky wink.
I said, "Yes, some of the paintings." - Why did the console gamer faint when they visited the art gallery There were too many frames
- Karen visits an art gallery Karen: I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call modern art?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon Ma'am, that is a mirror. - A musical canon piece is currently being hung from the art gallery ceiling for all to see. We tried asking a worker for directions, but he was too busy hanging a round.
- I went for a job interview in a Art Gallery today, but the interviewers seemed to hate everything about me. I didn't really paint a good picture of myself.
- I visited a legume museum with a real life peanut gallery Apparently they're still annoyed with Gregor Mendel not tucking in his shirts.
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Gallery One Liners
Which gallery one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with gallery? I can suggest the ones about album and photo.
- Visiting the origami art gallery was really expensive It was pay per view
- The limo driver opened an animal hide gallery. The chauffeur show furs
- A blind thief decided to rob an art gallery Ended up stealing an evacuation plan
- Why did the console player get sick in the art gallery? There were too many frames.
- Why did the console peasant faint at the art gallery There were too many frames
- Why did the incontinent museum director get fired? He kept gushing over the gallery.
- I don't go to art galleries. I just don't see anything in them.
- 'I love your paintings' Someone in an art gallery
or
a Jamaican in a b**... shop.
Art Gallery Jokes
Here is a list of funny art gallery jokes and even better art gallery puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- You tell your friend that you once viewed an art gallery with 100's of paintings, in a mere second Friend: "You're lying"
You: "Haha why?"
Friend: "The human eye can only see 60 frames per second" - Girl are you a Russian ambassador? ...because I'd take you out and it would involve an art gallery.
- The Canadian Opera Company has announced that it will play a special concert series at the Vancouver Art Gallery. They say that this will be the first time the COC has played in the v**....
- In my job, I'm surrounded by f**..., rats and v**... all day long. I hate working in a modern art gallery.
Comical Gallery Jokes to Spread Joy and Laughter
What funny jokes about gallery you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean canvas jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make gallery pranks.
A struggling artist gets his first painting in to an art gallery
A struggling artist gets his first painting in to an art gallery. An art critic approaches him:
-Would you like to hear my professional opinion on your painting?
-Sure.
-It's pretty much worthless.
-I don't mind, you can tell me anyway.
An artist talks to his curator about his recent sales
Artist: "So? Did I sell anything?"
Curator: "You won't believe this: a man came by and asked if the value of the paintings will rise after the artist's death. I told him that I think so. So he bought the entire gallery.
Artist: "Wow! That's great! who was he?"
Curator: "It was your doctor."
An Englishman, a Frenchman, and a Russian are in an art gallery
They are looking at a painting of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden.
"Look at how reserved and calm they are," the Englishman says, "they would definitely be English."
"They are n**... and beautiful, they would have to be French." The Frenchmen counters.
The Russian speaks up, "no clothes, no shelter, no bed, they have only an apple between them, and they're told this is paradise. They are certainly Russian."
A Painter and a Gallery Owner
painter: How are my paintings selling?
Gallery Owner: Well, there is some good news and some bad news. A man came in the other day and asked me if you were a painter whose work would become more valuable after your death. When I told him I thought you were, he bought everything you had in the gallery.
Painter: Wow! That's terrific! What's the bad news?
Gallery Owner: He was your doctor
The Artist
An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in her paintings that were on display. "Well, I have good news and bad news," the owner responded. "The good news
is that a gentleman noticed your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. I told him it would and he bought all 10 of your paintings."
"That's wonderful," the artist exclaimed. "What's the bad news?"
"The gentleman was your doctor."
I visited an art gallery.
"Absolutely gorgeous, don't you think?" I asked the fellow next to me. "The way the yellow combines with the grey...the way the colours intertwine. Truly beautiful."
He slowly stepped away from the u**... and left.
I was at an art gallery.
"Absolutely beautiful, isn't it?" I asked the guy next to me. "The way the yellow combines with the grey. The way the colours intertwine. Truly remarkable."
He stepped away from the u**... and left.
The Artist
An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings which were on display.
''I have good news and bad news'' the owner replied.
''The good news is that a gentleman enquired if your paintings will increase in value after your death. When I told them they would, he bought all the 15 paintings hanging here!''
''That's wonderful!'' the artist exclaimed, ''What's the bad news?''
''The bad news is that the guy was your doctor''
A critic goes to an art gallery and finds the artist of the pieces there.
Critic: "Would you like to know what I think of your art?"
Artist: "Oh, yes please"
Critic: "It's useless"
Artist: "I know, but I would still like to hear it. "
Artist: How are my paintings selling?
Gallery owner: When I explained how the value would greatly increase after your death, very well! One person bought 15 paintings!
Artist: "Oh! That's amazing! Who bought them?
Gallery owner: Your doctor.
A famous armorer was called to court...
…to demonstrate his new plate design. He set it on a stand in the middle of a grand gallery. The king called in his executioner, a dour and muscular man who prided himself in his ability to slice folk exactly in half, to strike the suit. With a sonorous clang! the executioner's heavy sword bounced off of the chest piece. Frustrated, he pointed an accusatory finger at the armorer and cried This is why we can't halve nice things!
Art Gallery n**...
A couple at an art gallery see a picture of a n**... woman with only her privates covered with leaves.
The wife doesn't like it and moves on, but the husband keeps looking.
She asks, "What are you waiting for?"
He replies, "Autumn."
A painter got a call...
from the gallery that was showing his work. The gallery owner said, "I have good news and bad news. A fellow came in this morning and asked if your work is the kind that would increase in value after the artist's death. I sad yes, and he bought all fifteen paintings. The bad news is that he's your doctor."
An artist gets some good and bad news.
An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time.
"I have some good news and some bad news," the owner replied. The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death." "When I told him it would, he bought all fifteen of your paintings."
"That's wonderful," the artist exclaimed. "What's the bad news?"
"The guy is your doctor !"
Art
A couple goes to an art gallery. They find a picture of a n**... women with only her privates covered with leaves.
The wife doesn't like it and moves on but the husband keeps looking.
The wife asks, "What are you waiting for?"
The husband replies, "Autumn."
A women is in court for shoplifting a tin of peaches
The Judge says, you are a persistent offender, I've decided I'm going to make an example of you, I'm going to open a tin of peaches and for every peach I count, you will get a month in jail.
He counts 7 peaches, sentences her to 7 months inside and asks for her to be taken down.
As she walks past the gallery her husband, who is not happy with the sentence, shouts at the Judge "SHE HAD TWO TINS OF PEAS AS WELL"
An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time.
"I have good news and bad news," the owner replied. "The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings." "That's wonderful," the artist exclaimed. "What's the bad news?" "The guy was your doctor."
An artist takes his work to a gallery for the first time.
A well-known art critic happens to be there and spots the painting. He walks over to the young artist.
"Excuse me, would you like my opinion of your painting?"
"Sure," replied the artist.
"Frankly, it's completely worthless."
"I know, but tell it to me anyway."
A woman in court for stealing a tin of peaches....
The judge asked her "how many peaches were there in the tin that you stole"?
She replied "four, your honour".
The judge said I am going to send you to prison for four month's for every peach, take her down.
Then her husband in the public gallery shouted "she stole a tin of peas too".....
So we agreed with each other, when we have i**... next time we will record it.
Let's just say there's one more gif in my gallery.
An artist asked the gallery owner if……
there had been any interest in her paintings that were on display.
"Well, I have good news and bad news," the owner responded. "The good news is that a gentleman noticed your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. I told him it would and he bought all 10 of your paintings."
"That's wonderful," the artist exclaimed. "What's the bad news?"
"The gentleman was your doctor."
A woman goes into an art gallery and sees two still-life pictures. Both are of a table laid for lunch with a glass of wine, a basket of bread rolls and a plate of sliced ham. However, one picture is selling for $75 and the other for $100.
Curious, she goes to the gallery owner and asks him what the difference is between the two pictures. The owner points at the $100 painting and says, You get more ham with that one.
An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings at that time.
"I have good news and bad news", the owner replied. "Which one would you you like to hear first?"
"Give me the good news first."
"The good news is that, a man enquired about your work and wondered, if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it will, he brought all fifteen of your paintings."
The artist exclaims, "That's wonderful. What's the bad news?"
"The man was your doctor......."
