Gal Jokes
40 gal jokes and hilarious gal puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about gal that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Gal Short Jokes
Short gal jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The gal humour may include short chick jokes also.
- Snow in the forecast... ...and the TV weather gal said she was expecting 8 inches tonight. I thought to myself, "Fat chance, with a face like that!"
- A really hot gal in my apartment complex said she wanted us to be "friends with benefits" Does anyone know where I can get a group health insurance plan?
- Chivalry is dead. If you see a guy opening a car door for a gal Either the car is new or the girlfriend is new.
- Just went on vacation in another country and met a local named Lavee. Nice enough gal but when she gets angry she becomes Livid Lavee the Local
- Why are pharmaceutical chemists considered such studs? They're able to make a fun-gal cream.
- What is your favorite one to two line joke? Keep em coming boys and gals. This is making my 15 car ride way better!
- Modern Technology Guys and gals. Think about it. While walking on a treadmill you could play Super Smash Bros Ultimate. Don't you love modern technology.
- What do you call an entertaining female's tone of voice? A fun gal inflection
You're welcome - What do you do then your woman is out of the kitchen? You go tighten the leash.
sorry gals..
What is the difference between women and batteries?
Batteries have a plus side..
I'm done.. - best thread convo u came across Let em rip guys an gals
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Gal One Liners
Which gal one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with gal? I can suggest the ones about lad and lass.
- I finally understand why everyone loves Gal Gadot She Israeli hot.
- Gal Gadot's husband has a problem I hear he's been doing heroine...
- What do you call a woman with a yeast infection and a sense of humour? A fun-gal.
- Why can't a sick eagle cross the road? Because it's ill-e-gal
- If you need hair product recommendations, I'm your gal. TRESemme on this one.
- Men that are great cooks tend to be good with the gals Food for thot
- My girlfriend and I are really close... Guess you could say she's my right hand gal.
- I dug my wife's grave today. Poor gal thinks I was digging a pond.
- How can she be Wonder Woman? If she's only a Gal?
- So Gal Gadot walks into a Bar.... "Sorry, Ms Rafaeli" she says.
- If Gal Gadot ever cheated on me I would apologise
- I love Gal Gadot She Israeli cool
- How many eggs in a gallon? Your average gal on the street has about a million.
- Why are Jews circumcised? Cuz Jewish gals won't take anything that isnt at least 10% off
- What's a blind Texas gals favorite apple product right now? Her iCane.
Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Gal Jokes with Friends.
What funny jokes about gal you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bloke jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make gal pranks.
Wine
A gal walks into a bar and orders a bottle of wine. After she downs most of the bottle she tries to get the bartender's attention. "I used to be grapes!" she announces loudly. "What?" the confused bartender asks. "I'm sorry," she apologizes. "That must have been the wine talking."
I was riding the bus when I got tapped on the shoulder…
An old lady says to me, Would you like a nut?
I chuckled and said, Sure, thanks.
A couple of minutes after eating the nut, another tap on the shoulder. Would you like another nut?
Well, after eating a couple more nuts from the old gal I finally turned around and asked her, Why do you have nuts if you keep giving them to me?
She replied, I only like the chocolate around them.
A balding white haired man walks into a jewelry store with a beautiful much younger gal at his side...
He
told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.
The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring.
The man said, 'No, I'd like to see something more special.'
At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought
another ring over. 'Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000the jeweler said.
The lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement.
The old man seeing this said, 'We'll take it.'
The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the man stated,
'By check. I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now
and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds; I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon.'
On Monday morning, the jeweler angrily phoned the old man and said
'Sir...There's no money in that account.
''I know,' said the old man...'But let me tell you about my weekend.'
An Irishman's dog dies so he goes to see the local priest.
An Irishman's dog dies so he goes to see the local priest and tells him, "Father, me old dog died. Can ye say a wee mass for the old gal?"
"No. Can't do it. The Church doesn't do f**... mass for pets, but I'll tell you what, the Protestant church down the hill will most likely do it. They don't have the same high standards that we do."
"Fine father, but I have one more question for ye. Would two hundred euro be enough of a donation to thank them for their services."
The priest's eye grew wide and he slapped the man on the back telling him, "Ahhh, man, why didn't you TELL me that your dog was Catholic?!"
What do you call a guy who's laying down in front of a door?...Matt. What do you call a guy floating up and down in the water?... Bob. What do you call a guy leaning against a wall?...Art. What do you call a gal who you owe money to that you set on fire?...
.........................................................................................
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..BERNADETTE!!!!!!
The kind of woman that ya make your wife.
I always look for a woman who has a tattoo. I see a woman with a tattoo, and I'm thinking, okay, here's a gal who's capable of making a decision she'll regret in the future.
Will the ex pop up again?
A gal walks into a bar and orders a beer. "What have you been up to today?" the bartender asks. "Funny you should ask. My horoscope said that my ex would pop up today," the gal says. "I've been down at the river all day, and luckily, no sign of him so far."
City s**...
Joe Ed and Jim Bob met up with a city gal who was lookin for a good time. She ask if they wanted to have s**.... Both said they did. She gave each of them a c**... and told them to put it on their shaft and keep it on or she'd get pregnant. Both boys agreed and proceeded to have s**... with her. Next day Jim Bob said Joe Ed, I really don't care if she does get pregnant, let's take these things off and have a good p**....
No good deed goes unpunished
I ran into a friend of mine who looked roughed up, with a shiner and an arm in a cast. I was aghast and asked him what happened.
He: Dude, don't ask. I was on the bus, minding my own business, when the gal sitting next to me stood up as her stop was approaching, and I noticed her skirt was stuck in her buttcrack. Thought I'd do her a favor and pull the skirt back out, but she punched me in the face.
Me: That s**..., yo! What's with the arm?
He: Oh, that was for trying to make peace by pushing the skirt back in .
A gift from Kanye
A gal walks into a bar and orders a beer. "I got an anonymous gift for Valentine's Day, but I'm pretty sure it's actually from Kanye West," she tells the bartender. "What makes you think that?" the bartender asks. "The bad wrapping," she replies.
Guy takes a gal to his place for dinner the other day...
...he gives her his peas and she gives him h**...
a gal walks into a bar
A gal walks into a bar and orders the largest beer they have. "Sometimes I just need to drown my troubles," she tells the bartender with a heavy sigh. "But I can't convince my boyfriend to go swimming."
Black eyes
A guy arrives at work with two black eyes. His colleagues quite naturally asked what happened. He explained, I was in an elevator with a gal in front of me that had her skirt rucked up in her crack. So I pulled it out and patted her skirt smooth for her. She then turned around and socked me in my right eye. So then they asked, how'd your left eye get black? Well I could tell that she didn't like what I did so I reach out and tucked it back in!
I'm on a long bus ride when I get a tap on the shoulder...
I turn around and an old gal says to me, "Want some nuts?"
I chuckle and say, "Sure, thanks."
A couple of minutes later she taps me again and asks if I want more nuts. I politely accept.
The third time she offers I smile and ask her, "Don't you like nuts?"
She replies, "No, I don't. I only like the chocolate around them."
Being a musician is great for travelling and meeting new people. Throughout my career I have met amazing humans.
Once I met this Italian opera singer, amazing gal. Some other time an irish theremine player. But the other day I met a polish sound engineer. And a czech one too. And a czech one too. And a czech one too.
I've never brought a gal home to my studio apartment.
Part of me is worried that she'll judge me. After all, the place is pretty small.
But the other part of me is worried that she'll get a terrible sleep. Earplugs help, but even then it takes awhile to get used to my dad's snoring.
Baby name
A gal asks her mother for advice on how to get her boyfriend to propose. Her mom suggests not asking directly, but instead asking what he would name their baby, if they had one.
So, after s**... one night, she asks her boyfriend, If we had a son, what would we name him?
Her boyfriend tied a knot at the top of the spent c**... and said If he gets out of that, we're calling him Houdini .
A guy walks into a liquor store and ask for a case of Heineken.
The gal behind the counter replies, "Sorry. We're out of Heineken."
The guy shrugs his shoulders and says, "Fine. Make it Rolling Rock."
The woman replies, "Sorry, but the only cold beer we have in stock is Budweiser."
The man says, "Nope. No way. Last time I drank a case of Bud, I ended up getting sick and blowing chunks."
The cashier replies, "You drink a case of any beer you're gonna get sick!"
The man retorts, "No, you don't understand. My dog's name is Chunks."
Christmas gift giving advice for the man who has everything.
A gal walks into a bar and orders a beer. "What do you get the man who has everything for Christmas?" she asks the bartender. "A divorce," the bartender replies. "Then he'll only have half of everything."