The Best 33 Gal Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Gal jokes. There are some gal chick jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these gal lass puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Gal Jokes and Puns

Wine

A gal walks into a bar and orders a bottle of wine. After she downs most of the bottle she tries to get the bartender's attention. "I used to be grapes!" she announces loudly. "What?" the confused bartender asks. "I'm sorry," she apologizes. "That must have been the wine talking."

I finally understand why everyone loves Gal Gadot

She Israeli hot.

I was riding the bus when I got tapped on the shoulder…

An old lady says to me, Would you like a nut?

I chuckled and said, Sure, thanks.

A couple of minutes after eating the nut, another tap on the shoulder. Would you like another nut?

Well, after eating a couple more nuts from the old gal I finally turned around and asked her, Why do you have nuts if you keep giving them to me?

She replied, I only like the chocolate around them.

A balding white haired man walks into a jewelry store with a beautiful much younger gal at his side...

He
told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.
The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring.

The man said, 'No, I'd like to see something more special.'

At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought
another ring over. 'Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000the jeweler said.
The lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement.
The old man seeing this said, 'We'll take it.'
The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the man stated,
'By check. I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now
and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds; I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon.'

On Monday morning, the jeweler angrily phoned the old man and said
'Sir...There's no money in that account.

''I know,' said the old man...'But let me tell you about my weekend.'

Gal Gadot's husband has a problem

I hear he's been doing heroine...


An Irishman's dog dies so he goes to see the local priest.

An Irishman's dog dies so he goes to see the local priest and tells him, "Father, me old dog died. Can ye say a wee mass for the old gal?"

"No. Can't do it. The Church doesn't do funeral mass for pets, but I'll tell you what, the Protestant church down the hill will most likely do it. They don't have the same high standards that we do."

"Fine father, but I have one more question for ye. Would two hundred euro be enough of a donation to thank them for their services."

The priest's eye grew wide and he slapped the man on the back telling him, "Ahhh, man, why didn't you TELL me that your dog was Catholic?!"

What do you call a guy who's laying down in front of a door?...Matt. What do you call a guy floating up and down in the water?... Bob. What do you call a guy leaning against a wall?...Art. What do you call a gal who you owe money to that you set on fire?...

.........................................................................................
.

.....

..BERNADETTE!!!!!!

The kind of woman that ya make your wife.

I always look for a woman who has a tattoo. I see a woman with a tattoo, and I'm thinking, okay, here's a gal who's capable of making a decision she'll regret in the future.

Snow in the forecast...

...and the TV weather gal said she was expecting 8 inches tonight. I thought to myself, "Fat chance, with a face like that!"

Will the ex pop up again?

A gal walks into a bar and orders a beer. "What have you been up to today?" the bartender asks. "Funny you should ask. My horoscope said that my ex would pop up today," the gal says. "I've been down at the river all day, and luckily, no sign of him so far."

City Sex

Joe Ed and Jim Bob met up with a city gal who was lookin for a good time. She ask if they wanted to have sex. Both said they did. She gave each of them a condom and told them to put it on their shaft and keep it on or she'd get pregnant. Both boys agreed and proceeded to have sex with her. Next day Jim Bob said Joe Ed, I really don't care if she does get pregnant, let's take these things off and have a good piss.

You can explore gal damsel reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean gal lad dad jokes. There are also gal puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


No good deed goes unpunished

I ran into a friend of mine who looked roughed up, with a shiner and an arm in a cast. I was aghast and asked him what happened.

He: Dude, don't ask. I was on the bus, minding my own business, when the gal sitting next to me stood up as her stop was approaching, and I noticed her skirt was stuck in her buttcrack. Thought I'd do her a favor and pull the skirt back out, but she punched me in the face.

Me: That sucks, yo! What's with the arm?

He: Oh, that was for trying to make peace by pushing the skirt back in .

Chivalry is dead. If you see a guy opening a car door for a gal

Either the car is new or the girlfriend is new.

Guy takes a gal to his place for dinner the other day...

...he gives her his peas and she gives him herpes

A gift from Kanye

A gal walks into a bar and orders a beer. "I got an anonymous gift for Valentine's Day, but I'm pretty sure it's actually from Kanye West," she tells the bartender. "What makes you think that?" the bartender asks. "The bad wrapping," she replies.

I'm on a long bus ride when I get a tap on the shoulder...

I turn around and an old gal says to me, "Want some nuts?"
I chuckle and say, "Sure, thanks."

A couple of minutes later she taps me again and asks if I want more nuts. I politely accept.

The third time she offers I smile and ask her, "Don't you like nuts?"
She replies, "No, I don't. I only like the chocolate around them."

Black eyes

A guy arrives at work with two black eyes. His colleagues quite naturally asked what happened. He explained, I was in an elevator with a gal in front of me that had her skirt rucked up in her crack. So I pulled it out and patted her skirt smooth for her. She then turned around and socked me in my right eye. So then they asked, how'd your left eye get black? Well I could tell that she didn't like what I did so I reach out and tucked it back in!

If you need hair product recommendations, I'm your gal.

TRESemme on this one.

Baby name

A gal asks her mother for advice on how to get her boyfriend to propose. Her mom suggests not asking directly, but instead asking what he would name their baby, if they had one.

So, after sex one night, she asks her boyfriend, If we had a son, what would we name him?

Her boyfriend tied a knot at the top of the spent condom and said If he gets out of that, we're calling him Houdini .


A guy walks into a liquor store and ask for a case of Heineken.

The gal behind the counter replies, "Sorry. We're out of Heineken."

The guy shrugs his shoulders and says, "Fine. Make it Rolling Rock."

The woman replies, "Sorry, but the only cold beer we have in stock is Budweiser."

The man says, "Nope. No way. Last time I drank a case of Bud, I ended up getting sick and blowing chunks."

The cashier replies, "You drink a case of any beer you're gonna get sick!"

The man retorts, "No, you don't understand. My dog's name is Chunks."

Christmas gift giving advice for the man who has everything.

A gal walks into a bar and orders a beer. "What do you get the man who has everything for Christmas?" she asks the bartender. "A divorce," the bartender replies. "Then he'll only have half of everything."

Just went on vacation in another country and met a local named Lavee. Nice enough gal but when she gets angry she becomes

Livid Lavee the Local

My girlfriend and I are really close...

Guess you could say she's my right hand gal.

I dug my wife's grave today.

Poor gal thinks I was digging a pond.

How can she be Wonder Woman?

If she's only a Gal?

So Gal Gadot walks into a Bar....

"Sorry, Ms Rafaeli" she says.

I went to the urologist today

The doctor was a stunning, late 20s blue eyed blonde gal.

She said "Sir - stop masturbating."

So I said "Why?"

"So I can examine you."

If Gal Gadot ever cheated on me

I would apologise

What do you call an entertaining female's tone of voice?

A fun gal inflection

You're welcome

I love Gal Gadot

She Israeli cool

How many eggs in a gallon?

Your average gal on the street has about a million.

How do you make money off your diarrhea?

You make it poop-prietary.

Note: My boyfriend thought of this one on the toilet moments ago, I'm a lucky gal.

I wonder if that hot gal who moved into the next room can hear my farts

i sure can hear her dildoing herself at night

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the gal lasses jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working gal dawg piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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