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Gains Jokes

32 gains jokes and hilarious gains puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about gains that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Gains Short Jokes

Short gains jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The gains humour may include short gaining jokes also.

  1. There's a new COVID-19 strain that's causing people to gain massive amounts of weight. The om-nom-nom-icron variant.
  2. The U.K. government have predicted that Scotland could become a third world country if they gain independence. I don't know if things will improve to that extent but fingers crossed for them.
  3. My wife gained more than 100 pounds during pregnancy, so I started walking 5 miles every day to encourage her. It's been three months and now I'm over 300 miles away from home.
  4. After gaining weight, My husband bought me a dress 2 sizes below and says... "I look forward to seeing you in it".
    So for his birthday I bought him a coffin.
  5. My nutritionist told me to only eat foods if I could pronounce their ingredients I gained a lot of weight after taking organic chemistry.
  6. I'm a scientist who's researching b**... between humans and dogs… If you'd like more details, I'll be in my lab…
  7. Why do women gain weight after they get married? Single women come home, look in the fridge, and go to bed. Married women come home, look in the bed, and go to the fridge.
  8. I blame my wife's cooking for my weight gain. Ever since she started cooking I've been eating out more.
  9. I should have suspected my husband was lazy; on our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch."
  10. Did you hear the Flat Earth Society is really gaining ground? They say they have members all around the globe now.

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Gains One Liners

Which gains one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with gains? I can suggest the ones about gained and weight gain.

  1. To the guy who stole my weight loss pills.. You'll have nothing to gain.
  2. Apple fitness products don't work. I tried the iHop and it only made me gain weight.
  3. What kind of dessert makes women gain the most weight? Wedding Cake.
  4. How does a farmer gain the attention of a woman? A tractor.
  5. Yo momma's so fat ...that the city of Dublin was named after her daily weight gain.
  6. What is the motto of a french baker? no pain no gain
  7. I've started a diet where I only eat my toddlers' leftover food. I've gained 10 pounds
  8. I have a new theory on inertia But it is not gaining any momentum.
  9. What happens when you lose you attention span in school You gain your detention span
  10. My miniature Siberian dog is gaining weight too fast. He's a little Husky.
  11. Elton John's gained a notable amount of weight lately. Goodbye, normal jeans.
  12. When do Asians gain the most weight? When their dog dies
  13. "Come forth and gain eternal life" said God Dave came fifth and won a toaster
  14. A man was trying to become rich by gaining weight He was trying to make a four chin
  15. So I bought a tavern... It was a real bar-gain.

Capital Gains Jokes

Here is a list of funny capital gains jokes and even better capital gains puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Since I've gained a lot of weight, I decided to name my stomach Budapest The capital of Hungary
  • What do you call a new gym opening up in the finance district Capital Gains
  • What do you call weight lifting on Wall Street? Capital gains
Gains joke, What do you call weight lifting on Wall Street?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about gains can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of gains puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Cheeky Gains Jokes to Experience Good Cheer & Frivolity

What funny jokes about gains you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean benefits jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make gains prank.

Why was 1000 afraid of 0111

0111
1000
1001
I hope this joke gains traction when machines takes over the world

(Infinity War Speculation) When Thanos gains the mind stone, he will turn into Palpatine.

Because The Avengers will pay for their lack of Vision.

Why doesn't Hermione keep her money at Gringotts?

Offshore investment gains a better return.

So a man one day gains the ability to make a car made of coins.

It's acceleration was a quarter faster than a dragster, the frame costed mere pennies, and the interior was full nickel, but people didn't think it made cents.
A news reporter rushes to the man in awe, asking, but does it even have brakes? The man simply looked back and said "Of course. It stops on a dime."

Whenever my buddy gets high, he gains a strange ability to speak multiple languages.

He is Rosetta s**....

What did the christian say to the ladies at the gym?

Hallowed be thy gains

A man told me his strength gains came from eating soy products.

After he said this I wasn't sure whether I thought more of him, or lecithin.

Whats the difference between a hippie and a mutual fund.

Eventually a mutual fund matures and gains profit

I like how avengers infinity war has perfect balance

[Thor gains his vision back but scarlet witch loses hers](#s)

What do you call it when you get ripped from steroid use?

Ill-gotten gains

I hope Marshall Mathers gets crippling depression and tries to eat his tears away and gains 180 pounds

Cuz then his new rapper name would be Nom-a-Nom

Define Marriage?

It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.

Gains joke, Define Marriage?

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these gains jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.