Following is our collection of funny Gain Weight jokes. There are some gain weight jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these gain weight puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
The om-nom-nom-icron variant.
I don't know why I didn't figure this out sooner.
I used shampoo in the shower and when we wash our hair the shampoo runs down our whole body.
Printed clearly on the shampoo label is the warning,
"For extra body and volume."
No wonder I have been gaining weight.
I got rid of shampoos and start using dish washing liquid. Its label reads
"Dissolves fat that is otherwise difficult to remove."
Follow this and stay slim and trim forever.
When they return after a week the mentor asks them how much they lost.
The wife begins, "I lost 10 pounds".
"That's amazing! Well done, and you?" He says, pointing at the husband.
"Well, I actually gained 10 pounds", the husband responds.
"Oh, that's no good at all. How did that happen?" asks the mentor.
"I bet my wife a tenner she wouldn't lose any weight this week".
Because when they're single, they come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. When they're married, they come home, see what's in the bed, and go to the fridge...
"I look forward to seeing you in it".
So for his birthday I bought him a coffin.
At work, I constantly found my lunch to be missing from the lunchroom fridge. I decided to get back at this thief, so I began making two lunches; one with a very strong laxative, and the other without. I hid my regular lunch towards the back of the fridge, wrote my name on both of these bags. Needless to say, weight gain and terrible diarrhea are bad ways to discover I have Alzheimer's.
You'll have nothing to gain.
I gained a lot of weight after taking organic chemistry.
I tried the iHop and it only made me gain weight.
Wedding Cake.
Single women come home, look in the fridge, and go to bed. Married women come home, look in the bed, and go to the fridge.
You can explore gain weight reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean gain weight dad jokes. There are also gain weight puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Ever since she started cooking I've been eating out more.
Ask your doctor if marriage is right for you.
When they're single, they come home, look at what's in the fridge and go to bed. When they're married, they come home, look at what's in the bed and then go to the fridge.
...that the city of Dublin was named after her daily weight gain.
She asked, "how tall are you?"
I replied, "5'10, how much do you weigh?"
She got angry and said, "That's body shaming, it's hard to lose weight!"
I laughed and said, "it's harder for me to gain height!"
I said "We need to talk about the elephant in the room"
He's a little Husky.
I'm fed up.
Well, her exact words were that I "Gained Weight"
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "I recently entered a competition to see who gained the most weight and lost the most hair," he tells the bartender. "What the heck? Why?" the bartender asks. "Oh, they didn't call it that," the guy replies. "It was advertised as 'high school class reunion,'"
When their dog dies
He's a biologist now.
IBS.
He was trying to make a four chin
and then remembering I'm not an actor.
Needless to say we didn't work out
Make America's Weight A Gain.
alcohol reduces fear.
Husband: There's a very effective weight loss patch. You'll lose 10 pounds in one week. The most important thing is that it's really cheap.
Wife: Oh wow! I need to have one. Where do you apply the patch?
Husband: On your mouth.
As soon as we let him in, I could see by the shock in his eyes that he'd noticed my girlfriend's tremendous weight gain. He leant in and whispered to me, "What happened to her!? She must weigh about 7 tonnes!"
I just turned to him and shook my head vigorously in defiance.
I didn't want to talk about the elephant in the room.
After experiencing weight gain, he is being converted to UK currency and will now be known as "50 pounds".
I think I've got the shakes.
I hope they don't make fun of her at school... She has enough on her plate.
The mall is hiring new Santas.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the gain weight jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working gain weight piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.