Future Jokes

Funniest Future Short Jokes

Short future jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The future humour may include short forecast jokes also.

1. A guy goes to his doctor because he can see into the future. The doctor asks him - How long have you suffered from that condition?
   The guy tells him - Since next Monday.
2. Did you know if you drink the fluid from a magic 8 ball you can see the future. Trust me. My friend Keith did it once and he said he was going to die and then he did.
3. I was feeling bad about the future today, but then I installed the new version of office. It improved my outlook.
4. I am from the future I can predict the score of the super bowl LVII before it starts... 0-0
5. I tried asking a Ouija Board for the name of my future wife. The planchette kept moving from H to A and back. What kind of name is Hahaha?
6. JUST ANNOUNCED: Disney in talks of a Star Wars - Back to the Future crossover where Marty flies so far back in time (long, long ago) that he fuses with his car He becomes the ManDeLorean
7. I went to see a psychic the other day. I asked her if I was going to jail some time in the future. She said no, so I robbed her. Bet she didn't see that coming.
8. I had posted this on Clean Jokes, just thought you guys would appreciate it. So, The Past, Present, and Future all walk into a bar
   It was tense.
9. A teen is telling his parents what he wants to major in "I want to be a history major," he says.
   The dad responds, "No you don't! There's no future in it!"
10. why do monarchs feel so important? Because small changes in their initial conditions can lead to large-scale and unpredictable variation in the future state of the system.

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Future One Liners

Which future one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with future? I can suggest the ones about past and potential.

1. A history degree is useless There's no future in it.
2. I can see six years into the future. I must have 2020 vision.
3. So...the past, the present, and the future walked into a bar. It was tense.
4. What do you call a hacker who can see the future? A 4chan teller.
5. i hope people on September 2nd 1885 were flipping out on Back to the Future Part III day
6. Highlighter pens are the future... Mark my words
7. Why aren't there any Muslims in Star Trek? Because it's the future
8. What is something the make a wish foundation can't give the children? A future
9. Think about a future where humanity has no choice but to leave earth. It's unsettling
10. If I could see 5 years into the future... would I still have 2020 vision?
11. My girlfriend finally watched Back To The Future. It's about time.
12. What do you call a psychic who is bad at predicting the future? Non-prophet.
13. I can predict the future! You're about to be disappointed.
14. Tomorrow is the future... But also the Present Day.
15. What's Karen's favorite song Mask off by future

Back To The Future Jokes

Here is a list of funny back to the future jokes and even better back to the future puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Back in the days when the guillotine was first used people wondered, is this what we may beheaded for in the future?
• Step 1: Travel back in time Step 2: Impress people with your ability to predict the future
  Step 3: ???
  Step 4: Prophet
• Claims that cloud storage is the future of smartphone memory issues Sounds good, but I have no data to back it up.
• I just heard Back to the Future was getting a re-release at the cinema. It's about time.
• Whenever I reach 88 mph in my car, I always make a Back to the Future time traveling sound effect inside my head... ...and that's usually followed by a police siren sound effect outside my car.
• Two chemists are hanging out at a bar after work... One gets up to go home and says "future copper". Puzzled, the other gazes back for a moment before the first clarifies, "Cu later"
• There's a new Back to the Future sequel coming out It's about time.
• When my friend told me he's finally going to watch Back to the Future , I said it's about time.
• If a murderous killing machine came back from the future.. And calculated all matrices. Would he be the Determinator?
• "Hey, I finally watched that movie you've been wanting me to see..." "Oh, so you finally saw Back to the Future?"
  "Sure did!"
  "It's about time!"

Past Present Future Jokes

Here is a list of funny past present future jokes and even better past present future puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• birthday card I received from my brother...Forget about the past you can't change it, forget about the future, you can't predict it, forget about the present... I didn't get you one.
• Uncle came over for Christmas, and told me these wisdoms: "Forget the future, you cannot predict it. Forget the past, you cannot change it." "And forget the present, I didn't get you one."
• Buddhist birthday wishes Forget the past, you cannot change it.
  Forget the future, you cannot know it.
  Forget the present, I didn't bring you one.
• Time, of course, doesn't exist. There's no past, no present, no future. Just one constant pulsating moment. And that point, the guy said to me, "Just give me a rough idea of the time, mate."
• The past, present and the future started fighting. It was in*tense*
• I have a special ability that lets me see both the past and future at the same time. Some say it's a gift, but I think of it as the present.
• Past, Future and Present Forget about the past, you can't change it.
  Forget about the future, you can't predict it.
  Forget about the present, I didn't get you one.
• The ghosts of Christmas past, present and future are all sitting in a bar together. What a tense atmosphere.
• The Past, The Present, and The Future all went camping... How? They all stayed in seperate tents!
• There's a company that recycles old or abandoned camping gear left behind at festivals and gives them to charities and the homeless.... They're called "Past Tents, Present Tents and Future Tents".

Future Tense Jokes

Here is a list of funny future tense jokes and even better future tense puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What's the future tense of England? Brexit.
• Teacher and Student * Teacher said the students to convert the sentence "I killed a person" into future tense.
  * Suddenly Johnny stands up and said, Sir the future tense is "I will go to jail"!
• Tomorrow I learned... How to speak in the future tense.
• English class...... Teacher.
  One day our country will be corruption free. which tense is it??
  student.
  Future impossible tense.
• Change sentence to tense? Teacher: Change this sentence into Future Tense, "I killed a person"
  .
  Student: The Future tense is "You will go to a jail"
• It was fun watching a Christmas carol. The ghosts of Christmas past, present and future were great. It was in tense.
• Siri: The past, present and future walk into a bar. It was tense.
  I did have to ask for a joke in English, as the first time Siri said she would, but I wouldn't understand a joke in her language.
• The future tense of send. Seen
• When separating, what did present tense say to future tense? See you later.
• It wasn't that I didn't like my future present It's just it was two tense.

Predict The Future Jokes

Here is a list of funny predict the future jokes and even better predict the future puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I saw my therapist today, and said "You are going to bring up my obsession with predicting the future, aren't you?" She said Yes. I said "I knew it!!"
• If you drink that fluorescent liquid there's inside those party bracelets you can predict the future My friend just drank 5 of them and said he was going to die, 2 hours later he was dead.
• Orange is the New Black predicted the future… Just take a look at our President and you'll see what I mean.
• What do you call a table that knows the future? A predictable!
• Star trek predicting future technology? How do we know apple won't be around long?
  Because Captain Picard uses an android.
• People say I am very optimistic future predicter
• A man and a woman are talking Man: I can predict the future. I know my child's last name.
  But you can't.
  Woman: Well I know my child is going to be mine.
• What do ghosts use to predict the future? Horror-scopes!
• What aquatic animal can predict the future? Oystadamus
• If Mayans could predict the future, why didn't they predict their extinction?

Future Wife Jokes

Here is a list of funny future wife jokes and even better future wife puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• The Jetsons gave me unrealistic expectations for the future as a child Like having a wife who loves me and owning a dog
• I asked a fortune teller the name of my future wife. I have no idea what kind of name is "Yorhand". Sounds Swedish though.
• I met my future wife in a dark room Everything just developed from there
• I don't waste my money on mobile games, microtransactions, cosmetic game skins and so on... I save my money for more important things in life, like donating to my future wife on Twitch.
• A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
• A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
  A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
• After 10 years, I've finally been able to accept my wife for who she is. ...not my future wife.
• A man exclaims to his wife, "I can see 6 years into the future..." "Thanks to my 2020 vision!"
  His wife replies, "How long have you been waiting to use that joke?"
  He happily says, "Since 2009!"
• I told my future wife that I inherited the family's sewage treatment business. She said: "you must be filthy rich"
  To which I replied: "mostly, except for being rich"

Laughable Future Jokes for Instant Grins & Giggles

What funny jokes about future you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean incoming jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make future pranks.