Furious Jokes
157 furious jokes and hilarious furious puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about furious that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article is full of jokes that take the concept of being "furious" to hilarious heights. Learn how rage, anger, and other strong emotions can be translated into humor. Get ready to laugh - furiously!
Quick Jump To
Funniest Furious Short Jokes
Short furious jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The furious humour may include short angry jokes also.
- I just found my wife has a Tinder profile and I'm furious. She is absolutely not adventurous , and fun to be around !
- • My friend's dog died the other day so I surprised her by going out and getting her an identical dog. She was furious, she said *"what am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"*
- My wife is furious at me because I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right left away.
- So they just announced the title to the tenth fast and furious movie.. Fast10: Your Seatbelts.
- I asked my teenage son to pass me the phone book He laughed, called me a dinosaur and handed me his iPhone.
So, the spider is dead. The iPhone is broken and my son is furious. - What does The Walking Dead, game of thrones and Fast and Furious have in common? All their Walkers are dead
- My wife's locked herself in the kitchen after we had a furious argument over how cheap and pennypinching I've become since we got married… She's in there now, ripping all the plates in half…
- As a billionaire I tried enter a club for billionaires, but was refused the entrance. "Is it because I'm a black billionaire?!", asked I furiously. "No, it's because you're a Zimbabwean billionaire"
- At church, last sunday …, the preacher said "Jesus died for your sins". At that point, a man got up, furious and shouted "Seriously, man? I was reading that book!"
- A man stumbles to his front steps late one Tuesday night... He clumsily opens the door to be met by his furious wife.
"Drunk again?!" she asks.
He chuckles and says "Hey, me too."
Share These Furious Jokes With Friends
Furious One Liners
Which furious one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with furious? I can suggest the ones about enraged and raging.
- The 10th Fast and Furious film should be called.... fast 10 Your Seat Belt.
- I've calculated the name for the next Fast & Furious movie... Fast 10: Your Seatbelts
- I ate a kids meal in McDonald's this morning. His mother was furious.
- I installed a skylight in my apartment. The people living above me are furious.
- My wife is a world famous pornstar. She was furious when she found out.
- I just gave up watching the Fast and the Furious Too many spoilers
- What do you call an accordionist who can play fast and furious? A speed demon.
- I raised the alarm at work today...
The midgets were furious. - My next door neighbour has been in a few films She'll be furious if she ever finds out
- I will be furious if the next Fast and Furious movie isn't called Fast10 Your Seatbelts
- Moses went to Mount Olive. Popeye was furious.
- I like my women like I like my movies... ...fast, furious and eight in a row.
- Why was Mario furious? He caught Princess peach going through his Bowser history
- I really wanna watch Fast and the Furious But the spoilers ruined it for me
- After a long fight we finally buried our grandmother last week She was furious
Fast And Furious Jokes
Here is a list of funny fast and furious jokes and even better fast and furious puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Did you hear that in the next fast and the furious movie they're getting rid of those long fin things on the back of the cars Ah sorry, spoilers
- If they release three more sequels of 'Fast and Furious' series... They should name the last one - "Fast10 - Your Seatbelt" in memory of Paul Walker.
- After the title "The Fate of the Furious", I just need next 2 movies to be titled Fast *nein* : The Fast and the *Furher*ious
Fast10 : your seatbelt - whats the difference in fast n furious and walking dead? there's no Walker in Fast and Furious
.......RIP Paul - Flat mate saw me chopping furiously in the kitchen He said "why are you cutting up rosemary so fast"? I said cos I've run outta thyme
- My wife and I like to role play, "The Fast and the Furious", in bed. Those are the names for my and her respective roles anyway...
- They just announced the next Fast and Furious movie where they will go undercover as ride share drivers in Asia It's called Tokyo Lyft
- What was it called when the Japanese forced all their best drivers to be in the Fast and the Furious movie? Tokyo Draft
- Why are they making so many Fast & Furious films? So they can make Fast10 Your Seatbelts .
- I heard Taco Bell is renaming their restrooms. They're now called "The Fast" and "The Furious".
Furious Franchise Jokes
Here is a list of funny furious franchise jokes and even better furious franchise puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- The Olive Garden should sponsor The Fast and Furious franchise. Because when you are there, you are Family.
- What movie franchise has the worst spoilers? The Fast and the Furious.
- What do the strippers in the Fast And the Furious franchise tell each other? Ride or die
Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Furious Jokes with Friends.
What funny jokes about furious you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean fury jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make furious pranks.
A Turkish man stopped by my convenience store and bought a gallon of milk. He comes back in an hour later with the same jug of milk, absolutely furious at me for selling him "bad milk!" I ask him what the problem is and he tells me its all
Kurdled
Two old friends meet:
- Wow, long time don't see! How are things?
- I'm fine and you?
- I'll be a dad for the first time!
- How cool! Congratulations! And is your wife happy?
- Right now she is. But once she finds out, she is going to be furious!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An old lady gets into an accident with a midget...
...he gets out of the car, obviously furious, and stomps toward the old woman. "I am *not* happy," he growls.
The old woman, calm as can be, says:
"Well, which one are you, then?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A priest and a farmer are playing a round of golf.
On the first hole, the priest clasps his hands, says a prayer and shoots a hole-in-one.
When it's the farmers turn, he shoots and the ball ends up in the woods.
The farmer is furious and screams: "g**... I missed".
The priest tells him "If you curse one more time, god will punish you".
On the second hole, the priest clasps his hands, says a prayer and shoots another hole-in-one.
When it's the farmers turn, he shoots and this ball also ends up in the woods.
He screams "g**... I missed"
A loud rumble is heard and lightning strikes the *priest*.
Shortly after, a voice is heard from above the clouds saying "g**... I missed"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Husband get back home from work asks wife
**Husband:** "Why are the torn condoms lying on the sofa?"
**Wife:** "What?....... Where?" rushes out to check.
She comes back furious saying:"I will kill you if you don't stop calling our children TORN CONDOMS"
A blond couple is in the hospital and the wife is in labor...
After a few laborious hours out pops a beautiful baby boy.
then, another!
Two beautiful twins!
however, the father is furious....
"Ok! who's the other guy you're seeing?!"
Honesty Is Not Always the Best Policy (real news)
A Florida man arrested for speeding and DUI admitted to police that prior to getting in his car he'd been drinking beer and watching "The Fast & the Furious." Although, he admitted his favorite movie is "Dumb and Dumber."
This husband wins the fight every time.
A newlywed couple are having their first big fight since being married. Things start getting heated when the husband angrily says "You know I'm right, I'm twice as smart as you!" Furious, the wife asks incredulously "What the heck, how could you say that!" The husband responds, "Well, just look at who I married compared to who you married, and tell me who is smarter!"
Use this one with caution in your own marriage :-)
The Jewish Husband
A young boy comes home from school. He's bursting with excitement.
"Mom," he says. "I got a part in the school play!"
"That's great!" his mother exclaims. "What part are you playing?"
"I'm playing a Jewish husband," the boy says.
Suddenly his mother is FURIOUS. "What?!" she screams. "You go back and tell them you want a speaking part!"
This morning some bloke drove up to my house in a huge lorry and dumped off a massive pile of lego blocks.
I'm so furious I don't know what to make of it.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Mongolian man tells his friend a story
When I came home late last night, I found my wife with another man. I was furious, and to hold myself back, I sat down and drank from a bottle that was left on the table. Then, I sang a song to cheer myself up. When I felt a little better, I looked around, and said to myself, s**..., this isn't my house,'.
A physicist was cheating on his wife...
who catches her husband red-handed. The physicist tells his furious wife says "It isn't what you think, I never touched her!"
I got charged for a satellite dish the other day...
I was furious. He told me it'd be on the house.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I saw a lady texting and driving today
I was furious. I rolled down my window, and threw my beer at her.
I made a pass at my girlfriend's mum and my girlfriend is furious...
She tripped over the ball and broke her nose.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If it ever becomes i**... to wear a veil to work ....
beekeepers will be furious.
Father looks out the window on a snowy evening.
He gets furious and turns red.
"What's the matter, dear," his wife asks.
"It's our daughter's new boyfriend. He's written his name in the snow with pee."
"Oh. That's not so bad."
"Yeah, but it's in *her* handwriting."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What movie title best fits The Flash's s**... life?
The Fast and the Furious.
I applied for art school
I had no port folio, had never drawn in my life and absolutely no talent.
I was furious when they rejected me because I was the perfect candidate.
Surely if anyone needs lessons it's me!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
h**... had a half-deaf secretary.....
h**... is fuming furious one day, he called his half-deaf secretary to his office after recieving some news. He yells, "Glass of juice, not gas the jews!"
Got home and into bed steaming drunk last night, and the wife was furious. She said I wasn't the man she married.
I knew exactly what she meant. I live next door.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My girlfriend just accused me of being a t**...
I was absolutely furious, so I packed her things and left
Jewish boy comes home from school and his mother and tells her he got in the school play. She asked him, "what part are you playing?" He said, "the husband!"
The mother grew furious and said, "you march right back there and demand they give you a speaking part."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man comes home from work...
A man comes home from work and he finds his wife furious at him.
She screams "Why did you sleep with my sister while you were at work!?"
He replies "Well she was lying on the table, n**..., and you know she's an attractive woman, so what did you expect me to do?"
"Perform the autopsy."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A son and his Dad have an intense argument and the son storms off, furious.
Before he gets out of earshot of his father, he yells "Jim Morrison was a terrible singer and an uninspired artist who never did anything worthwhile".
His father cannot believe this insolence, and screams at the top of his lungs "As long as you live in this house, you will never, EVER SLAM THE DOORS"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Father comes home from work
To find the tv broken and his wife looking furious with their child.
"What happened?" The father asked.
"Our son broke the tv playing the Wii" she replied.
"Did he have the s**...?"
"No, I thought Id let you punish him"
Fast and the Furious just announced a new movie called Faster And Furiouser 3.1:
You Get the Drift
Paul Walker had to take some time off from the Fast and Furious series
He was burnt out.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What is Vin Diesel's l**... style?
Pitch Black, Multi-f**..., x**... and Fast and Furious.
In a furious argument, the wife tells her husband...
- I should have married the devil instead of you!
- Well, that's impossible. Marriage between cousins is forbidden!
I'm furious! racist tech support just called me asian
All I said was my drivers keep crashing
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A guy asks his wife for s**..., and she replies, "I can't, it's Lent."
Furious, he yells, "to whom and for how long?!"
I assured to my significant other that size doesn't matter...
when she asked "does this dress make me look fat?" and now she's furious, help--
So my friend told me he needed some help to recognize speech...
I was furious and said, "Are you insane? Why would you wreck it? Don't you like beaches?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My buddy and his wife were furious with me after I threw confetti on them as they left the church…
They shouted, "This is completely inappropriate at a child's f**...!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The whole pack
This guy caught me having s**... with his daughter, and he was furious.
He said, "I'm not going to go easy on you, son. Nobody ever went easy on me. When I was a kid, my father caught me smoking a cigarette, and he made me smoke the whole pack right in front of him. When my mother caught me drinking whisky from the cabinet, she made me drink the entire bottle down to the last drop."
I said, "I think I see where you're going with this. How many kids do you have?"
Recently installed a skylight in my place..
The people that live above me are FURIOUS.
A married man left work early one Friday afternoon...
Instead of going home, however, he squandered the weekend (and his paycheck) partying with the boys.
When he finally returned home on Sunday night, he ran into a barrage of epithets from his furious wife. After a couple of hours of nagging and berating, his wife asked, "How would you like it if you didn't see me for a couple of days!?!"
"That would suit me just fine!!!"
Monday went by and the man didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same result.
Come Thursday, the swelling went down a bit and he could see her a little, just out of the corner of his left eye..
My wife is furious I left my son's concert early to go out to the bar...
I'll never hear the end of it
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
s**... with the DA's wife
Jack gets caught having s**... with the DA's wife. The next morning the police is at his door, telling him that he's arrested. Jack is furious. "What? Am I getting arrested just because I slept with the DA's wife? That's not i**...." The police officer shakes his head. "No, we are arresting you because you slept with a 14 year old girl."
I got caught cheating on my physics exam. Furious, my professor said to me "I hope you understand the gravity of the situation".
But if I had known that, I wouldn't be in this situation in the first place.
An artist lives next to a Marsh.
Twice a week, he goes out and collects the clam shells in the marsh to use in his art. One day, he visits a fellow artist and the two compare their works as usual. Suddenly, a gang of bandits breaks into the house to steal art, but before anyone else could react the first artist launches a furious flurry of kicks and punches that quickly incapacitates all the robbers.
"Incredible!" Goes his friend, "I never realised you were so well trained in combat!"
"Well you should," the first artist replied, "considering you already know I am a marsh shell artist."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Four robber are robbing a bank
After opening the safe, the only thing they found is a box with about 200 yogurts. Furious because they didn't find the money, they eat all the 200 yogurts, thinking it'd upset the owner. As they were leaving, they ask the security where was all the money, to which the security answered: "What do you mean where's all the money? This is a s**... bank"
A problem at the restaurant
Waiter!" shouted the furious diner. "How dare you serve me this! There's a TWIG in my soup!"
"My apologies," said the waiter. "I'll inform the branch manager."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Not my p**...
A wife goes on a retreat for work.
When she returns, she finds a pair of p**... in her dresser that do not belong to her.
Furious, she questions her husband.
The husband says, "I have no idea where they came from I don't do the laundry!"
So, the wife goes to the maid and questions her.
Indignant, the maid replies, "Madam, how should I know? These p**... don't belong to me. I don't even wear p**... just ask your husband!"
I wanted to order food from a fancy restaurant
I didn't want to leave the house, though, so I had them bring the food to me.
I ordered a medium rare steak and foie gras, but when the food arrived my foie gras was missing!
Furious, I drove over to the restaurant and demanded they give me my full order. They did, and before I left I asked them why they did not provide me what I asked for.
The chef said, "Well sir, you said you wanted your meal de-livered."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
One day, Usain Bolt goes into a country club.
When he enters, the woman at the front desk stops him, and says, "Sorry, we don't allow b**... in here. But there's another club 10 minutes down the road that does."
Visibly furious, Bolt exclaims, "Do you know who I am? I'm Usain Bolt!"
"Oh! I'm sorry", says the woman. "Then it's only 5 minutes down the road."
Mr. Mole told Mrs. Mole he would have to work late at the bakery.
He comes home and she is furious. She says don't lie to me …
you were at the Bottoms Up bar getting lap dances from the female mole dancers! He said "why would you say that?" She exclaimed "Because your clothes smell like molasses.
An American, a Brit, and an Irishman each order a pint.
When the bartender delivers the drinks, each one has a fly floating in it.
The American throws a fit, yelling, saying how he can't drink it, take it back immediately, etc.
The Brit removes the fly and politely enjoys his beer.
The Irishman is furious. STOP DRINKING MY BEER AND GET YOUR OWN!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My wife was accepting when I told her my fantasy was to have s**... with two women at the same time
But was furious when I told her she isn't either of them
A man worked at construction site...
...and is brought to emergency room with concussion and skull fracture.
His wife, furious, comes to hospital.
"What happened?!"
"Well, I asked John to throw me the hammer..."
"And then what?! You didn't catch it?"
"In matter of fact *I did*. But then I remembered we have 3 guys named John working on our site..."
A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder....
The man says to the bartender, "I bet you $100 bucks my parrot can recite the Gettysburg Address!" The parrot squawks a bit and flaps its wings. Furious, the man pays the bartender and returns home.
When they get home the man berates the parrot for failing to perform and the parrot responds, "You fool! Just think of the odds we can get next time!"
I wrote a review for the Fast and Furious movies...
Ok so all of the cars have this little fin on the back and...
Oops, I forgot to warn people, this contains spoilers.
Mom used to get furious when I peed with the seat down.
She'd say, "I know you wanna be like your father, Sandra, but you make a horrible mess."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My parents found b**... gear that i've been hiding in my room
I bought b**... gear from my local s**... shop and hid it under my bed.
My parents were furious when they found out and I was yelled at and spanked.
So i started leaving it out in the open.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My galfriend and I role play "The Fast and the Furious" in bed.
Me and her, respectively.
A teenager girl goes for confession and tells the preist that she's pregnant with the second coming.
Naturally, the priest is furious at the implied blasphemy.
"How dare you? That's blasphemy. Explain yourself. How do you know you're pregnant with the second coming?" he thundered.
I... I... I.. I swallowed the first.
8-year old Billy comes home from school with a note from his teacher.
It says, "Billy stole a pencil from the student next to him." Billy's father is furious. He goes to great lengths to lecture Billy and let him know how upset and disappointed he is, and he grounds the boy for two weeks.
Finally, he concludes, "Anyway, Billy, if you needed a pencil, why didn't you just say something? You know very well that I can bring you dozens of pencils from work."
Well Done?
Kevin was furious when his steak arrived cooked too rare.
'Waiter,' Kevin shouted, 'Didn't you hear me say "well done"?'
'Of course I did, sir, I can't thank you enough, sir,' replied the waiter. 'I hardly ever get a compliment.'
Man comes home furious from work
And the wife asks what has happened
Angrily the man replies - I wont ever work there if my boss doesn't take his words back!
The wife asks - What so terrible did he say?
Reluctantly the man answers - YOU'RE FIRED!
Why didn't they ever stop for gas in the Fast and Furious movies?
They had Vin Diesel.
Really drunk people?
3 men entered a taxi. The taxi driver could tell that they were drunk so he started the engine and turned it off. He then proceeded to tell them that they had reached their destination. The first guy gave him the money and the second guy thanked the taxi driver. The third guy suddenly slapped the driver. The driver was shocked; he was wondering if the third guy could see through his dishonesty. He then asked What was that for? The third guy, with a furious face yelled Control your speed next time you almost killed us!
