Fur Coat Jokes

A woman was trying on her new fur coat.

Her teenage daughter walked up to her and said.
"Mother, do you realize that this coat is the result of the suffering of a poor, defenseless animal?"
The woman looked strictly at her daughter.
"Young lady, don't you dare talk about your father like that."

A woman's husband dies and gets cremated

She takes the ashes home, puts them on the porch and says, "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know that new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispered, "You know that b**... I promised you? Well, here it comes"

An American, a Russian, and a Ukrainian are flying together in a small plane

The American gets up, goes to the window (it's not *that* small a plane) pulls a w**... of money out of his pocket, and throws it out the window.
"In America, we have plenty of money. We can just throw it away."
The Russian, not to be outdone, rummages in his carry-on bag, pulls out a beautiful fur coat, and throws it out the window.
"In Russia, we have plenty of furs. We can just throw them away!"
The ukrainian gets up, picks up the Russian, throws him out the window.
"In Ukraine, we have plenty of Russians!"

An American, a Russian, and a Ukrainian are flying together in a plane.

The American gets up, goes to the window pulls a w**... of money out of his pocket, and throws it out the window.
"In America, we have plenty of money. We can just throw it away."
The Russian, not to be outdone, rummages in his carry-on bag, pulls out a beautiful fur coat, and throws it out the window.
"In Russia, we have plenty of furs. We can just throw them away!"
The Ukrainian gets up, picks up the Russian, throws him out the window.
"In Ukraine, we have plenty of Russians!"

A woman recently lost her husband.

She had him cremated and brought his ashes home. Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the counter.
She started talking to him, and tracing her fingers in the ashes, she said, "You know that fur coat you promised me Irving?"
She answered by saying, "I bought it with the insurance money!"
She then said, "Irving, remember that new car you promised me?"
She answered again saying, "Well, I bought it with the insurance money!"
Still tracing her finger in the ashes, she said, "Irving remember that b**... I promised you?
Here it comes ..."

A man attacks a woman wearing a fur coat..

..and shouts at her angrily - "Do you have any idea how many minks had to die for you to wear that fur??"
"It is not mink, it's polyester!"
"Doesn't matter!! Do you know how many polyesters had to die!?"

Sarah watches as her mother tries on an expensive fur coat

in a high-end department store. Do you realize, Sarah says, that some poor, dumb animal had to suffer just for you to wear that coat? Sarah's mother turns to her and snaps, Think about how much I've suffered! And don't call your father an animal.

A wannabe rich woman once bought an expensive fur coat

A wannabe rich woman once bought and expensive fur coat which didn't sit well with her 14 year old daughter.
Mom, do you realise that some poor, dumb beast had to suffer so you could get that? She said
The woman, infuriated by her daughter's comment said 'how dare you speak about your father like that!'

A little girl writes a Christmas letter to Santa

"Dear Santa, I want a fur coat and a scarf for Christmas." She goes to the post office and sends the letter. Next day the postman reads the letter and decides to give the girl a scarf for christmas. After christmas the postman gets another letter: " Santa, thanks for the scarf, but i bet the mailman took the coat!"

Russia Jokes

Submit your best Russia jokes.
Mine are "Why was everybody in Russia rushin'? Because nobody wanted to be Stalin." and "Why were Russians wearing bear fur coats? Because Lenins weren't warm enough for them."

A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a new blonde girl painting the walls.
She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket.
Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.
She showed him the instructions on the tin, "For best results, put on two coats".

An old lady was considering buying a squirrel fur coat.
"But will it be all right in the rain?" she asked anxiously.
"Oh certainly, ma am," said the manager smoothly.
"After all, you've never seen a squirrel with an umbrella have you?"

A woman recently lost her husband.

A woman recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home. Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the counter.
Then, while tracing her fingers in the ashes, she started talking to him. "Darling, you know that fur coat you promised me? I finally bought it with the insurance money! Its beautiful!!
"Darling, do you remember the new car you promised me? Well, I used the savings to get the Convertable!"
"Darling, that beach vacation you always said we would take? I booked it with the some of the retirement fund."
Still tracing her finger in the ashes, she said, "Darling, remember that b**... I promised you? Here it comes."

Bearable

There was a guy who went bear hunting. When he finally got close to a bear he went to aim and his rifle jammed. The bear charged him and he hollered: Wait a minute Mr. Bear my gun is jammed . The bear said OK we can talk this over. The man said Woo sounds great, well Mr. Bear I was only hunting for a new fur coat for the winter that is coming up. The Bear said That sounds good, because I was looking for a good meal before I hibernate for the winter myself. SO THEY LEFT THE MEETING WITH BOTH WISHES SATISFIED.