The Best 82 Funny Jokes

This is the best collection of funny jokes you will find anywhere. If you are looking for a laugh, then look no further. These jokes are guaranteed to make you laugh out loud.

Top 10 Funniest Funny Jokes and Puns

Funny that when a guy sleeps with tons of girls, he's a stud..

But when a girl sleeps with tons of guys, somehow I'm not one of them.

The problem with Trump jokes:

Republicans don't think they're funny, and Democrats don't think they're jokes.

If you boil a funny bone it becomes a laughing stock.

That's pretty humerus.

My laptop was making funny noises today, it sounded like it was singing...

Probably because it's a Dell

jokes about funny

I know global warming is bad

but wouldn't it be kinda funny if dinosaurs made humans go extinct?


A horse walked into a bar



Bartender: Hey

Horse: Yes please

My girlfriend broke up with me because she says I'm too 'controlling'.

Funny thing is, I don't remember giving her permission to speak.

Funny joke, My girlfriend broke up with me because she says I'm too 'controlling'.

Jokes about the handicapped aren't funny

No one knows what it's like to not walk a mile in their shoes.

How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

That's not funny

Little Johnny walks in on his parents having sex.....

his father sees him, but instead of saying anything, he gives Johnny a huge grin and thumbs up, then starts to really give it to the old lady. The next night, the father gets up to go to the restroom, and he hears noises coming from Johnny's room. He looks in the door, and Johnny is on top of his grandmother, really giving it to her. Johnny looks at his father, gives him a grin and says, "not so funny when it's your Mom, is it?"

Robin Williams' Favorite Joke

Guy's having sex with his wife. All of a sudden he looks over, and there in the doorway is his son, about eight years old. Kid looks horrified, and the kid runs away. The guy says to his wife, ''Well, I'd better talk to Timmy.''

He puts on his clothes and goes to Timmy's room. He opens the door , and there's Timmy nailing Grandma. The father goes ''Oh, my God!'' And the kid goes, ''Not so funny when it's your mom, is it?"

You can explore funny comical reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean funny funny ha ha dad jokes. There are also funny puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


My girlfriend said period jokes aren't funny...

So I ended up throwing away 3 pages of jokes i had written about the Victorian era.

Why are 490 Romans funny?

Because XD

John Snow.

John Snow was at a bar outside the great wall drinking. A beautiful girl comes inside and her eyes meet his. She likes him, so she goes and introduce herself.

-Hello, handsome. My name is Jenny Spring. What's yours?

John laughs and continues with his drink.

-Why is this funny?

John responds,

-Nothing. I just imagine how rare it would be to have 7 inches of Snow in spring...

Why are mountains so funny?

Because they are hill areas.

I'll show myself out

My dad was showing me pictures of why to wear condoms during sex.

The funny thing is, they were all pictures of me.

Funny joke, My dad was showing me pictures of why to wear condoms during sex.

In a movie theater crowd watches a movie. During funny moments only one person laughs. Confusingly, he turns around and explains:

"Sorry, I haven't seen the trailer."

Two cannibals are eating Amy Schumer

One turns to the other and asks, "*does this taste funny to you?*"

The other responds, "*no.*"

An Atheist...

Walks up to the Pearly Gates. God says, "I will let you in if you can make me laugh."

The Atheist asks, "who is the greatest Jewish baker of all time? Hitler. He made over 60,000 Jews toast."

God looks at him and says, "A holocaust joke? That is not really funny."

The atheist replied, "Eh, I guess you should have been there."


Two clowns are running for public office...

It's funny for me though because I live in Canada.

The funny thing about teen pregnancy is that before it happens all you hear is "Don't do it! You'll regret it! You'll lose your freedom! Make the responsible choice!" Then after it happens, they say "We're a still disappointed, but we can still make the best of this. It's not the end of the world."

Stupid auto-correct: I meant "Trump's presidency" not "teen pregnancy".

I went to a party last night...

..and everyone was watching a movie on the TV. I being introverted, hadn't talked with anyone and was watching movie by myself. When the movie ended, everyone was debating on what to watch next.

I decided to put on the movie I had brought from home. It was pretty funny and had Jim Carrey in it.

Everyone really like it. People started talking to me and thanking me for the movie. No one cared who I was until I put on The Mask.

I kissed a girl in the club and she said, "Oh my God, you've been smoking. It's just like licking an ashtray."

"You non-smokers have some funny habits," I replied.

Explaining a joke is like dissecting a frog.

You understand it better, but it dies in the process.

See what I did there was use the frog as an analogy to show that exposing the inner workings of a joke would essentially deprive it of its life in that it's not funny anymore. I'm drawing a parallel (and so is E. B. White) to how you basically kill a frog when dissecting it to better understand the functioning of its inner body parts, since there is now little left in the joke to laugh at.

*

!false

It's funny because it's true.

My girlfriend found one of my puns so funny that she flew into space and told it to an alien. Unfortunately, the alien didn't laugh.

Personally, I think she took the joke a bit too far.

Funny joke, My girlfriend found one of my puns so funny that she flew into space and told it to an alien. Unfort

Loyalty is very important for my wife...

My girlfriend doesn't care.

Funny how different sisters can be.

Stop bullying fat people, it isn't funny

They have enough on their plate anyway.

"The neighbors hate us."

"The neighbors hate us."
"Why?"
"Well, you remember when we had that bonfire in my yard, and were roasting marshmallows?"
"Yeah, that was really fun."
"And remember how the house up the road caught fire, and all those fire engines came, and we ran to see what was going on, and the wife was crying in her husband's arms, and how everyone looked at us funny?"
"Yeah, I remember! I wondered what we'd done..."
"We were still holding our marshmallow sticks."


I was on a blind date with this girl...

And I told her, being funny is the second best way to get a girl into bed. She asked "what's the best way?"
I said "a big knife."
She laughed and said "you're funny."
I said "wise choice."

When god created man

Gods assistant: Is it done?

God: Hmm, add a little toe to his foot.

Gods assistant: Why?

God: For furniture.

Gods assistant: Furniture?

God: Believe me it'll be funny

Don't you hate it when you're driving along smoking a cigarette, you flick it out the window and you drive for a couple more miles and smell something funny and you look over onto the back seat and sure enough..

Grandma's fingering herself again

What do you call a guitarist without a girlfriend?

A bassist.

(Don't get triggered, I play bass and I find this funny)

Flat Earthers

It's funny making a flat earth beliver angry, but if you push them over the edge then you're only proving them right.


How many Germans do you need to change a light bulb?

One. Because we are efficient and not very funny.

Its funny how we all sleep differently.

I sleep on my side, my brother sleeps on his back, my ex sleeps with everybody...that sorta thing.

How much does Santa's sleigh cost?

$0, it's on the house.

With the right delivery, any joke can be funny. Except abortion jokes.

Because there is no delivery.

It is funny how my wife waits for me in the kitchen all night till I come back from the pub...

...just to ask me what time it is.

How many Germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just one. They're efficient and not very funny.

My 5 year old grandson came up with this joke, and didn't even realize it was funny and made sense: Why did the basketball player go to the bathroom?

Because he was dribbling. 😊

A Holocaust survivor dies and goes to heaven

On arrival in heaven, the Holocaust survivor tells God a Holocaust joke. God says, "that's not funny." The survivor replies, "ah, well, you had to be there."

My wife just stopped and said, "you weren't even listening were you"...

I thought, that's a funny way to start a conversation

My wife just said ' its funny how sex is always better on holiday'

I'll be honest it's not the nicest postcard I've ever received

Two cannibals are eating Amy Schumer.

One says, "Does this taste funny?".

The other says, "No".

What is the difference between a unicorn and a carrot?

One is a funny beast and the other is a bunny feast.

My mother died a few years ago. I recently came across her death certificate and had a brilliant idea!

"I know how we can bring mom back!" I exclaimed. "Get me a Sharpie!"

My sister, looked at me confused, "Why?"

I pointed to the border of the certificate, "It says 'void if altered'!"



(This actually happened and my sister didn't find it very funny. But we each deal with grief our own ways...)

It's a conversation between me and my 6 y o cousin...Sorry if it is not funny enough for you

him: Knock knock

me: Who's there?

him: A snail

me: a snail who?

him: a snail you threw out of the window two weeks ago asking why

An old man is selling watermelons...

His pricelist reads: 1 for $3, 3 for $10

A young man stops by and asks to buy one watermelon.
"That'd be 3 dollars", says the old man.

The young man then buys another one, and another one, paying $3 for each.

As the young man is walking away, he turns around, grins, and says, "Hey old man, do you realize I just bought three watermelons for only $9? Maybe business is not your thing."

The old man smiles and mumbles to himself, "People are funny. Every time they buy three watermelons instead of one, yet they keep trying to teach me how to do business..."

A simple but funny joke that came from my 100 year old great grandmother last night

She leans in to my mom and says
When is Mother's Day?

My mom thought she was genuinely asking because she forgot, but she then says
Nine months after fathers night

My 4yo's first real joke: Why did the clown go to the doctor?

Because he was feeling funny!

#prouddadmoment

Change for a $15 bill

An incompentent counterfeiter spent all day making his funny money. At the end of the day he realizes he spent all his time making $15 bills.

He figures that the only way he's going to get anything from this batch of money, is to find a place where the people aren't too bright and change his phoney money for real cash.

He travels to a small town and walks into a small Mom and Pop grocery store. He goes to the old man behind the counter and asks him, "Do you have change for a $15 bill?"

The old man replies, "I sure do...How would you like that? An eight and a seven or two sixes and a three?"

I called my mom and told her not to worry, but I'm in the hospital.

She told me "You're the goddamn doctor and this wasn't funny the first time."

It's funny how Jews, Christians and Muslims have fought each other for centuries.

Hindus, on the other hand, never had any beef.

What do you call a person with no body and no nose

Nobody knows

Jokes about murderers aren't funny.

Unless they're executed properly, that is.

My Jewish friend says this is a non-offensive Holocaust joke

A Holocaust survivor died recently. Goes to Heaven and upon meeting God, he decided to tell a Holocaust joke. Then God said "That's not funny", to which the Jew replied "Oh, I guess you had to be there".

I rarely find cocaine jokes funny.

But occasionally, an one-liner makes me snort.

Communist jokes aren't funny

Unless everyone gets them.

My favorite joke for my cake day

I used to make jokes at work during meetings, and I could really get people laughing. Then COVID hit, and all our meetings were online. I'd still make jokes, but no one would laugh...

Not one. At first, I thought it was just because everyone was muted. It turns out, they didn't find me remotely funny.

What's better than enchiladas?

n+1 chiladas.

(sharing this joke I came up with tonight while making enchiladas, because my family didn't find it funny).

The neighbors hate us.

"The neighbors hate us."
"Why?"
"Well, you remember when we had that bonfire in my yard, and were roasting marshmallows?"
"Yeah, that was really fun."
"And remember how the house up the road caught fire, and all those fire engines came, and we ran to see what was going on, and the wife was crying in her husband's arms, and how everyone looked at us funny?"
"Yeah, I remember! I wondered what we'd done..."
"We were still holding our marshmallow sticks."

I was wondering where you guys get all these funny dad jokes from?

Then I came to the conclusion that they're just all kept in a dadabase.....

I'll see myself out
πŸšͺπŸšΆπŸΎβ€β™‚οΈ

My coworkers laugh at my jokes in in-person meetings, but never in online meetings.

When I asked them why, they said that my jokes weren't remotely funny.

My wife yelled at me "are you even listening to me"

I said "that's a funny way to start a conversation"

Working from home and told a joke on a zoom call. No laughed

Turns out I'm not remotely funny.

Two cannibals were eating Amy Schumer.

One says, 'Does this taste funny to you?'

The other one goes, 'No'.

A Holocaust survivor dies and goes to Heaven.

Upon meeting God, he decides to tell a Holocaust joke.

After hearing it, God said "Hey, that's not funny."

To which the Holocaust survivor replied, "Well, I guess you had to be there."

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

THAT IS NOT FUNNY!

Because the punchline gets spoiled early.

Why is this time travel joke not funny?

Did you hear about that time a hitman held a writer at gunpoint and forced him to write for Amy Schumer?

The hitman warned him, Don't get any funny ideas!

A guy is spending his first night in prison

He hears someone in another cell shout out "37!" and the whole cell block bursts out laughing.

Another guy shouts out "74!" Same thing.

"46!" and everyone loses their minds.

He asks his cellmate "What's going on? Why are the numbers so funny?"

"Well we've all been here so long we remember all the jokes by heart. To save time we just give them numbers and tell those instead."

"Oh I think I understand. Let me try. 63!"

There's dead silence.

The new guy says "What's wrong, is that one not funny?"

"Nah, it's a good one. Some people just don't know how tell a joke."

Did you know Will Smith can make swords?

Of course he can; he's a blacksmith


Some may think the joke isn't funny, but I think it slaps.

I asked my wife why she married me.

I asked my wife why she married me.

She said Because you are funny.

I said I thought it was because I was good in bed.

She said See? You're hilarious!

[Request] Self deprecating joke about height for wedding

Long story short, I am officiating a wedding between the 2 tallest and most stunning friends I have. I am about 5'9 VS his 6'4 I would like to make some jab about them not being able to get anyone taller or when they asked me i immediately started thinking about how tall of a stool I would need to find and bring with. Just nothing seems all that funny, any ideas? Sorry if this is the wrong subreddit, feel free to delete!

Driving down the road and saw my ex.

It's funny how I'd hit that changes meaning over the years.

Why are Jim Jones jokes still funny?

The punchline kills.

Mom, Why is your hair turning grey?

There was once a naughty little girl who was always getting in trouble and she asked her mother one day "Mom, why is your hair turning grey?" And her mother replied "Every time you do something bad, I get another grey hair." The girl got a puzzled look on her face. A moment later, the girl starts chuckling. "What's so funny my dear?" her mother asks to which her daughter replied, "Thinking of Grandma's hair made me realize that you must have been a really bad girl!"

Girl:Don't you think it's funny how the person you're going to marry is on this earth as of right now?

Boy:Yeah, haha. That's weird.

Girl:Don't you ever wonder what they're doing?

Boy:Nope, I already know, she's texting me

Girl::Thats sweet of you.

Boy:But she just went to bed. So I'm talking to you

I used to write all my jokes in Microsoft Word.

But then Clippy said, "It looks like you're trying to be funny."

James Bond always holds his farts while in bed

Otherwise he would blow his cover.





(Look I'm not funny this was my first and only attempt so sorry X\_X)

I need a funny punchline...

My bf is going on a trip and I thought it'd be fun to give him a joke and tell the punchline when he gets home. Only thing is we were on a time crunch and I just said the first thing that came to mind which was:

What do you call a sheep with 3 legs?

I have absolutely no idea so if anyone can think of a punchline for this please help me.

An original joke for you as thanks:

Why was the caribou wearing a disguise?
He wanted to remain anonymoose.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the funny humour puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working funny humor piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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