Following is our collection of funny Funniest Joke jokes. There are some funniest joke jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these funniest joke puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"[
My eight year old cousin told me this one:
Why was Beethoven mad at his chicken?
Because he kept saying Bach Bach Bach
But at least I don't have Alzheimer's.
Q. What do you call a line of Barbies?
A. A Barbecue!
A woman and her baby gets on a bus. The driver stops her at the door and says:"you have the ugliest baby I've ever seen!".the woman storms to the back of the bus, fuming. She sits down next to a stranger and says:"that bus driver just insulted me" The stranger then says:" That is absolutely not on! You go and sort him out and I will hold your monkey for you!"
Going on a Disney Cruise and need your funniest, raunchiest or most nasty joke involving a Disney character.
I always loved this one: (works better said out loud of course)
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
... A FSHHH
7:07 because when you flip it upside down, it says LOL!
This joke was invented by my 8 year old daughter so be nice please :)
It's a great joke. With a good buildup and a punch, and whatever. I showed it to my friends -- you know some of them are really good judge of jokes. I showed it to them and they said it's really funny. Almost everyone agrees it's good. Some of them says it's too good -- maybe a little bit too funny. You know they love to laugh. You maybe even say it's the funniest joke ever. I have THE BEST JOKE in the world.
A colleague approaches him and asks him why he is laughing. "I just heard the funniest joke in the world!" "Well go ahead and tell me," says the second judge. "I can't - I just gave someone ten years for it!"
Not short as in small, short as in short
You can explore funniest joke reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean funniest joke dad jokes. There are also funniest joke puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
She made a joke 19 years ago and people are still laughing at it.
It's no longer a Q-tip.
It's askew-tip.
>!Funniest joke I've ever come up with!<
He tells everyone he is there to shoot the man who slept with his wife.
A person from the back of the bar yells "you don't have enough bullets."
Note: I heard this joke a few years ago and it's still the funniest I've ever heard.
After all feminism is one of the funniest jokes I've ever heard of
It's quarantine.
Don't get it? Oh well, it's an inside joke..
Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!
A colleague approaches him and asks why he is laughing."I just heard the funniest joke in the world!".
"Well", his colleague says, " Dont keep a good joke to yourself, go ahead and tell me!"
The other judge replies,"I can't – I just gave someone ten years for it!"
A man is hosting a radio program and he wants to call a random person to ask for their favourite song in order to play it on the radio. So the random guy says " well I just want to say that I found a person's wallet on the street" and the host tells him " well do you want to share the owner's name so we can return the wallet?" And the random guy responds " no I just want to dedicate him a song" (sorry for my English I'm Spanish) :)
*"I've just heard the funniest joke about Stalin... ever!"*
*"Well, go ahead and tell us."*, the other Judges ask.
*"I can't. I just gave someone a life sentence for it."*
A hot rod.
NOTE: When I was about 5, I thought this was the funniest joke on earth.
i propose we see who can come up with the best joke. we submit a part, someone else adds to it. maybe 3 parts? maybe not? let's see who can come up with the funniest crowd sourced joke.
Patient: Doctor, last night, I made Freudian slip. I was sitting at the dinner table next to my mother-in-law. I turned to her and I meant to say,"Please pass the salt", but instead I said "You fat cow, you've ruined my life".
A joke.
A man comes to the fortune teller and sits in front of the crystal ball. "I see you have two children," says the fortune teller.
"YOU believe that!" He replies. "I am a father of three."
The fortune teller smiles and answers: "YOU believe that!"
They think it's bit of a stretch though
He walks out of the courtroom laughing his head off, and another judge asks what's so funny. He says he just heard the funniest joke of his life, so judge 2 asks him to tell it. Then judge 1 says "I can't. I just gave someone 10 years for it."
You'd think it'd be the punchline, but apparently it's funnier when the person feints...
Working at the Jobcentre has to be a tense job - knowing that if you get fired, you still have to come in the next day.
A Soviet judge exits a courthouse after a trial. He is laughing hysterically as a friend greets him.
The friend asks, "Why are you laughing?"
The judge answers, "I think I just heard the funniest joke I've ever heard."
The friend says, "Come on, tell it to me."
The judge says, "I can't. I just sent someone to the Gulag for it!!"
I'm in nursing school right now and there's a competition in one of my classes for the funniest renal joke. I can't think of any! Help?
After the 2000 Presidential elections with the multiple vote recounts in Florida, she came home and told us the funniest joke she had just heard:
Have you seen the new Texas quarter?
You count it five times!
Comment the stupidest, funniest joke you know!
For my research and speech class I have to tell a joke but it has to be clean. Nothing dirty, racist, sexist etc. It has to be appropriate. So what's the funniest clean joke you know?
A mushroom!
Hey may not be the funniest, but at least it's original!
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the funniest joke jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working funniest joke piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.