fungus Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious fungus puns

How much room do you need to grow fungus?

As mushroom as possible.

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What did the algae say to the fungus about their symbiotic relationship?

I'm lichen it

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Freddy the fungus and Alice the algae met one another and...

they took a lichen to each other

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Why is the fungus such a hypocrite?

because it doesn't have mushroom to talk.

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I was going to grow a fungus farm in my backyard

but there wasn't mushroom.

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What did the fungus say to the tree?

I think I've taken a lichen to ya.

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A female fungus asked a male fungus to a date...

He replied, I always knew I was a fungi.

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I used to hate toe fungus...

But now it's really growing on me

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A gem of a story from my grandfather.

My grandmother needed athlete's foot cream so they went to a pharmacy to find some. The pharmacist didn't speak a word of English and after about 5 minutes of trying to explain what my grandmother needed my grandfather gave up and walked out. 2 minutes later my grandmother walked out with the anti fungus cream in hand. My grandfather asked how she managed to get the cream, to which my grandmother replied she just took her shoe off and showed the clerk. My grandfather replied, it's a good thing you didn't need hemorrhoid cream!

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Why didn't the fungus continue to grow?

It didn't have mush room.

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What did the algae say to the fungus after the dinner together?

"I'm already lichen you."

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What do you call a funny fungus?

A pungi.

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What do you call a fungus that wants to fight you?

shit-talking mushroom

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I didn't use to like fungus

but then it grew on me

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Three hikers are in the woods...

...and they come across a rock with some strange life form growing on it.

The first hiker exclaims: "Wow, look at this amazing fungus!"

The second hiker replies: "Nah, that looks more like moss to me."

Says the third: "Well, I know what I'd lichen it to."

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Which country has the most number of bacteria, viruses, fungus and other micro-organisms?

GerMany

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What do you call it when a fungus hits you below the belt?

Bad sporesmanship!

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Our culture is like a fungus.

It's fucking disgusting but it grows on you.

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Whats the difference between a dutch prostitute and a pizza?

You can remove the fungus from the pizza if you want to.

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What fungus always gets its ass beat?

shittalking mushrooms

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Why did the mushroom go to the party?

It didn't. Fungus is not capable of having a social life.

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[OC] I wouldn't call myself a fan of fungus

But it is starting to grow on me

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How much space does a fungus need to grow?

As mushroom as possible.

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I always wanted to be the fun guy.

So first I quit my job of drilling holes on the ground.
Then, I got fungus on both of my feet.

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which country has the maximum number of bacteria, fungus, viruses and other micro organisms?

GerMany

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What's a mole's favorite fungus?

Mold.

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Why did the fungus leave her boyfriend after they moved in?

Because he was taking up too mushroom.

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A fungus walks into a bar...

and meets another of its kind. They hit it off immediately, until the bartenders says "you look like really fun guys!".

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I didn't use to like parasitic fungus.

But it starting to grow on me.

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I was skeptical of the idea of having toe fungus...

But it's growing on me.

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Me: "Dad, how did you learn to live with that fungus?"

Dad: "it grows on you"

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The 3 f's do not belong on pizza.

Fish, fruit and fungus.

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Did you know that the largest living organism is a fungus?

I bet it needs much room.

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What do you call a hostile fungus often found in Asian food?

A shiitaking mushroom

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Why did fungus dislike...

Why did the fungus dislike anal sex?

Because there wasn't mushroom

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What are the most funny Fungus jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Fungus? Well, here are the best Fungus dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Fungus pick up lines to share with friends.

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