The Best 51 Funerals Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Funerals jokes. There are some funerals crematory jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these funerals funeral home puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Funerals Jokes and Puns

I always hated weddings...

I always hated weddings because the elderly would come over and poke me saying "You're next.". They stopped doing it when I started doing it to them at funerals.

Dough Boy

Veteran Pillsbury spokesman Pop N. Fresh died Wednesday of a severe yeast infection. He was 71.

He was buried Friday in one of the biggest funerals in years. Dozens of celebrities turned out including Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker, and the Hostess Twinkies.

The graveside was piled high with flours, as longtime friend Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Fresh as a man who "never knew he was kneaded".

Fresh rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a smart cookie, and wasted much of his dough on half-baked schemes.

Still, even as a crusty old man, he was a roll model to millions. Fresh is survived by his second wife. They had two children, and one in the oven.

The funeral was at 3:50 for 20 minutes.

I hated weddings as a kid

When I was younger,I had to attend many a wedding with my parents. Every single time, my aunts and other older relatives used to poke me with a smirk and tell me "You're next.".
They only stopped after I started doing the same thing with them at funerals.

Funerals joke, I hated weddings as a kid

If you think politicians are the best at 'spin'...

you should listen more at funerals.

I don't attend funerals, even if I was close with the deceased.

I'm just not a mourning person.

When should funerals occur?


Old people kept poking me at weddings and saying "You are next"

So at funerals I do the same to them

Funerals joke, Old people kept poking me at weddings and saying "You are next"

I hated going to weddings. All the grandmas would poke me saying "You're next"

They stopped that when I started doing it to them at funerals.

Did you hear the news?

The guy who invented predicted text died. His funerals on funfair

Why don't poor people go to funerals?

They can't afford to pay respects.

I don't like how funerals are usually at 9 or 10 AM.

I'm not a mourning person.

You can explore funerals mortician reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean funerals doctor funeral dad jokes. There are also funerals puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Old people always poke me at weddings and say "You're next"

So I started doing the same to them at funerals

What do Mexicans play at their funerals?

Another Juan Bites The Dust

Old folks use to poke me at weddings and say your next so...

I started doing it back to funerals. 😉

I hate how funerals are always at 9 or 10am...

I'm not really a mourning person.

Funerals are like family reunions

minus one

Funerals joke, Funerals are like family reunions

I don't like to go to funerals

I'm just not a mourning person.

Old People Always Poke Me

Old people at wedding always poke me and say
You Are the Next
So, I Started Doing The Same Thing To Them At Funerals

"Better late than never" works with any situation

Though not as much with funerals

Always hated how at weddings the old family farts would cuckle and say "It's your turn next time.."

So I started telling them the same at funerals

Three things funerals and having sex have in common!

1. They both put a stiff in a box.
2. They both require lots of tissues.
3. They can both sometimes make people cry.

Wedding problems...

Every time I go to weddings the older folks poke me in the arm and whisper "that is gonna be you! That is gonna be you!"

So now when I go to funerals I poke them in the arm and say "that is gonna be you!"

I don't like funerals before midday.

I'm not a mourning person...

My Russian doll passed away.

I'm not looking forward to the funerals.

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poke me in the ribs and say "You're next! You're next!"

They stopped when I started doing the same at funerals.

What's the top Journey song at Japanese funerals?

Don't Stop Bereaving

Why are funerals never held at night?

Because they're always in mourning.

I've often wondered why Chinese people prefer open-coffin funerals...

But I guess seeing is bereaving.

Every family wedding I attended...

...aunties and grandmas always came to me grabbing me by my cheeks saying "oh dearie you will be next!"
They stopped when I started to do them the same at family funerals.

I never attend the funerals of my friends...

Because they won't be there at mine

I saved a fortune by not vaccinating my child.

Which was fortunate, because kids funerals don't come cheap.

At weddings, old ladies poke me and say,"You're next."

It's the other way around at funerals.

People always pointed at me and said "You're Next!" whenever there was a wedding

So I started doing the same to them whenever I met them during funerals

-An old joke, hopefully made you giggle if you hadn't heard it

You're Next

I always hated weddings because the elderly would come over and poke me saying "You're next." They stopped doing it when I started doing it to them at funerals.

I was always told "I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing.

Turns out this doesn't apply to funerals, though.

I get erections at funerals. "Mourning wood," if you will.

It's hard to come up with an original erection joke. The competition is stiff.

My elderly relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying, "You'll be next!"

They soon stopped though, once I started doing the same to them at funerals.

Starbucks has starting to offer free drinks during funerals

They acknowledged the need for mourning coffees

Why don't British people cry at funerals?

They are used to Casual Teas

I hate how funerals are at 9.00am.

I'm not really a mourning person.

Meghan may face some akward times with the Royal Family at the funeral of Prince Philip

But luckily, black is generally accepted at funerals.

I have a bunch of elderly relatives that used to love to tease me at weddings by saying stuff like: "Oh, you'll be next, you'll be next!"

They soon stopped though, once I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

Why don't night owls ever cry at funerals?

They just aren't mourning people

No one is allowed to congregate for funerals; instead people drive by the cemetery and honk their horns in respect. One man drives by blasting Another One Bites The Dust

The family wanted to be mad, but then another car drove by playing the same song, and another one does, and another one does, and another one drives a bus.

I'm horrible at funerals.

Whenever I'm at funerals for some reason no one ever likes my speeches. You see, when i go up to the podium speak about the deceased, i like to compliment their intelligence. "He knew too much" is what i usually say. Not sure why people give me the funny looks there, and I'm usually kicked out when i add, "it's a shame he had to die".

Why do funerals always happen before noon?

It's the perfect time in the mourning

Dark humor!

My older relatives at wedding always used to say "you'll be next!" Although they stopped after I started saying to them at funerals.

As an unmarried man, my aunts used to ask me "and, are you the next one?" at every wedding...

...that quickly stopped when I started to ask them the same question at funerals

Valentines Day is on Monday

Funerals usually take place on Saturday and Sunday. After the burial the flowers will still be fresh. What you do with this information is up to you.

Whenever I go to funerals, I always say "plethora".

People tell me it means a lot to them.

Why aren't there ever funerals at night?

Everyone is still in morning.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the funerals ceremonies jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working funerals funeral piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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