Funeral Parlor Jokes
6 funeral parlor jokes and hilarious funeral parlor puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about funeral parlor that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Rib-Tickling Funeral Parlor Jokes that Bring Friends Together
What is a good funeral parlor joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm opening a f**... parlor for people of no specific faith
I'm calling it "Die Agnostic Services."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Chinese f**... parlor opened in my town.
It's called "Can you Bereave It"
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear about who went to DMX's f**...?
There was Brenda, LaTisha (uh), Linda, Felicia (okay)
Dawn, LeShaun, Ines, and Alicia (ooh)
Theresa, Monica, Sharron, Nicki (uh-huh)
Lisa, Veronica, Karen, Vicky (d**...)
Cookie, well I met her in a ice cream parlor (aight?)
Tonya, Dianne, Lori and Carla (okay)
Marina (uh) Selena (uh) Katrina (uh) Sabrina (uh)
About three Kim's (what?) Latoya, and Tina (woo)
Shelley, Bridget, Cathy, Rasheeda (uh-huh)
Kelly, Nicole, Angel, Juanita (d**...)
Stacy, Tracy, Rohna, and Ronda (what?)
Donna, Yolanda (what?) Tawana, and Wanda (what?)
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was a little taken aback when I got my receipt from the f**.
.. parlor, on the bottom of the receipt, after the bill, it read, "Thank you. Please come again."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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A guy is on vacation in Jerusalem with his wife and mother-in-law,
when the mother-in-law unexpectedly passes away. Unsure of how to handle f**... proceedings so far from home, he asks a local f**... parlor in Jerusalem for advice.
"Well sir, if you bury her here in Jerusalem, it will cost you about $150".
"What about if I want to ship her body back to the U.S.?" - the guy asks
"Well sir, that would cost approximately $20,000".
The guy thinks about it for a little bit and says "you know what, better prepare the body and have her shipped back to New York".
"But sir, you would save almost $20,000 if you just bury her right here in Jerusalem!" - the f**... guy responds
The husband responds: "yeah I know, but there was once a guy who was buried in Jerusalem and rose from the dead on the third day, and I'm not willing to risk that with her".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An old lady was very upset as her husband Albert had just passed away.
She went to the undertakers to have one last look at her dearly departed husband.
The instant she saw him she started crying. The mortician walked over to comfort her.
Through her tears she explained that she was upset because her dearest Albert was wearing a black suit, and it was his fervent wish to be buried in a blue suit.
The mortician apologized and explained that traditionally they always put bodies in a black suit, but he’d see what he could arrange.
The next day she returned to the f**... parlor to have one last moment with Albert before the f**... the following day.
When the mortician pulled back the curtain, she managed a smile through her tears as Albert was resplendent in a smart blue suit. She said to the mortician, “Wonderful, wonderful, but where did you get that beautiful suit?”
“Well, yesterday afternoon after you left, a man about your husband’s size was brought in and he was wearing a blue suit,” the mortician replied.
“His wife was quite upset because she wanted him buried in the traditional black suit.”
Albert’s wife smiled at the undertaker.
“After that,” he continued, “it was just a matter of swapping the heads.”
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