Following is our collection of funny Funds jokes. There are some funds jeweler jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these funds payment puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I felt like I needed to end it all, so I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.
Joe is extremely angry and frustrated with his wife of 20 years and finally decides to find a contract killer to get rid of her. He knows this will cost more money than he has so he asks to borrow some funds from his best friend Arty. Arty surprises Joe by saying, "I have never liked your wife so I will gladly murder her for only a dollar."
Later, Arty is hiding outside the grocery store where Joe's wife works and as she leaves he drags her behind the store into an alley and strangles her. Just as he is dragging her body behind some bushes, the store manager comes out and sees him. So Arty attacks the manager and strangles him as well. Again, as he hides the body, a clerk comes out of the store so Arty has to do the same thing one more time. By this time, with all of the commotion, the police arrive and discover what has happened. They arrest Arty and the next morning the headline in the town newspaper reads:
ARTY CHOKES 3 FOR A DOLLAR AT THE LOCAL MARKET
A stern rebuke from the ethics committee and an immediate withdrawal of funds.
A client comes to a bank:
– My cheque was returned with a remark: Insufficient funds . I'd like to know whether it refers to mine or the Bank?
Funds
I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, Social Security, retirement funds, and everything that I called the Suicide Lifeline. I was forwarded to a call centre in Pakistan and when I told them I was suicidal, they asked if I could drive a truck...
Ask if they meant you or them.
Insufficient funds.
This ATM needs a bigger account.
A kickstarter
This is the 5th ATM I've been to today that's had "insufficient funds"
You can explore funds fees reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean funds raiser dad jokes. There are also funds puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
and I will make the funds in your bank account disappear!
The experience so transforms them that they decide to form a new order, with a monastery, dedicated to growing flowers as a form of worship. Two years into the venture they realize that they are running out of funds and decide to begin selling some of their flowers as a way to raise funds to support their ministry and their way of life. Unfortunately a sheep from a nearby farm wandered into the monastery and quickly consumed all of their prize flowers.
It turns out only a ewe can prevent florist friars.
They agreed, so I told them, "She can have the car, the house, all the funds in our joint account and full custody of our children on one condition... I get to keep whatever I have in my pocket."
"It's a deal!" my wife said, with a smug look on her face.
"You obviously didn't check the lottery numbers last night, did you?"
A sperm bank.
The bank really needs to get their life together.
Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, the rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Terrified, they did so - thereby proving that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.
I'm calling it Girls Just Wanna Have Funds.
I call it: Thots and Prayers
A visit from the ehtics committee and immediate withdrawal of your funds.
Moo-chew-all funds
...but we could only come up with half.
Feel free to him back halfway and we'll wire the funds. Thanks, the US
I went to 4 different ones and they all said insufficient funds.
Trump wants to cancel $100 million in research funds for Parkinson's and Alzheimer's.
I can't remember why, but I bet that'll really shake things up.
I think this year I will detonate.
They just take the money and run.
I went to four different ones today and they all said "Insufficient Funds"
but at least it's trickling down for a rainy day.
A good start. HOLD the LINE.
I guess you could say those... companies love misery
As for us Gamestop customers, we fully expect to sell something for $20 and have to spend $500 when we want to buy it back.
That's where hedge funds come from!
He's the Artist formerly known as Prince.
The economy is so bad, if the bank returns your check marked "insufficient funds" you call & ask if they meant you or them.....
So they passed the offering plate around and the pastor sees a $100 bill in the plate.
He said Looks like we have a winner! Whoever gave the $100 bill can come to the front and select 3 hymns.
An 80 year old lady slowly got up, walked to the front, and pointed her finger into the pews…
I'll take him, him, and him!
This is the 5 th one I have been to that said insufficient funds
Mootual funds
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the funds charity jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working funds verify piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.