Funding Jokes
45 funding jokes and hilarious funding puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about funding that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Funding Short Jokes
Short funding jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The funding humour may include short funds jokes also.
- What do you get if you cross a cow with an octopus? An immediate cessation of funding and a stern rebuke from the ethics committee
- What do you get when you cross a cow and an octopus? A reprimand from the Scientific Ethics and Integrity Committee and an immediate withdrawal of your grant funding.
- Dear Brits: We have received your ultimatum and have scrounged for the ransom... ...but we could only come up with half.
Feel free to him back halfway and we'll wire the funds. Thanks, the US - Those hedge funds should have known they'd lose money by shorting GME. As for us Gamestop customers, we fully expect to sell something for $20 and have to spend $500 when we want to buy it back.
- What do you call a bunch of hedge funds that already lost $70 B shorting stocks? A good start. HOLD the LINE.
- Banks need to be better at restocking these atm at Xmas…. This is the 5 th one I have been to that said insufficient funds
- What do you get when you cross a cat and an octopus? A strong reprimand from the ethics committee and immediate recission of all funding.
- What do you get if you cross a woman with a whale? Your research funding suspended and a severe reprimand from the ethics committee.
- What do you get when you cross an octopus and a lion? A stern rebuke from the ethics committee and an immediate withdrawal of funds.
- Banks should really do a better job of keeping their ATMs filled. I went to four different ones today and they all said "Insufficient Funds"
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Funding One Liners
Which funding one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with funding? I can suggest the ones about finance and lending money.
- What happens when you try and breed a cow with an octopus? You lose your funding.
- I'm saving up some money to plant bushes for my backyard. That's…my hedge fund.
- I spent my children's college fund on a boat... I'm going to call it the scholarship.
- What Saudi funded event ended in a massive collapse on 9/11? Hillary Clinton's campaign.
- Aquarium decorations on clearance! Sorry, no reef funds.
- I'm so irritated This is the 5th ATM I've been to today that has 'insufficient funds'.
- What do you call a bush full of money A hedge fund
- What should cows invest in? Mootual funds
- Wanna know how to fund the Taliban? Pay your taxes.
- I went to a hedge fund manager's work to punch him in the face And order a McDouble
- What do you call an investment partnership run by friendly Swedes? a Hej Fund
- my burger bun startup is going well And I've got seed funding already
- What did the Bushes do after they retired from politics? Opened up a hedge fund
- A hacker saw my financials He set up a go fund me
- What do you call a mental person who needs money? Fund-a-mental
Hilarious Funding Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about funding you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean spending money jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make funding pranks.
TIL that back in the 1940s, as a result of failed communications between engineers and builders, the Soviet Union built thousands of submarines based on recalled 1850s schematics, resulting in millions of dollars in military funding being wasted.
Whoops, wrong sub.
What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?
A sternly worded letter from the ethics committee and your funding revoked.
A zookeeper notices his prize gorilla was getting aggressive..
She wouldn't eat. She wouldn't sleep. And she constantly kept trying to attack the zookeeper. So, he did some research and found out female gorillas can become depressed and aggressive when deprived from s**....
The zookeeper then looked around for another male gorilla for her to engage in i**..., but unfortunately the zoo couldn't afford to import a male gorilla just for her to have s**....
Giving his funding situation, he goes up to the janitor and asks him "Hey, for $500, would you have s**... with this gorilla?"
The janitor thought about it for a minute, and then replied "Sure, on three conditions. First condition, I don't want to kiss her."
"Okay sure! I wouldn't expect you to!"
The janitor then stated "Second condition. I don't want anyone knowing about this ordeal."
"Sure, fine! Not a problem! What's your third condition?"
Janitor said "Give me at least 2 weeks to come up with the $500"
What do you get when you cross a cow with an octopus?
A visit from the ethics committee and immediate withdrawal of your funding.
What do you get when you cross a chimpanzee with a rhinoceros?
A meeting with the ethics committee and swift removal of your research funding.
Finally got funding approved for the gay club I'm opening in Prague.
The Czech's in the Male
"What do we want???"
"Increased funding for Alzheimer's research!!!"
"When do we want it???"
"When do we want what???"
Why is the right twix bar always more expensive ?
That's cause the left uses government funding to make food cheaper for everyone.
Betsy DeVos's school funding plan...
You start with $0.
But if you sign up 5 kids for school, and those kids sign up 5 more kids, and THOSE kids sign up 5 more kids...
What do you get when you cross a lion with an octopus?
A stern rebuke from the scientific community and a immediate withdrawal of funding
What do we want?
Increased funding for Alzheimer's research!
When do we want it?
When do we want what?
NASA should tell the US government they found oil on Mars
And then watch the funding skyrocket
What do you get when you cross human DNA and goat DNA?
A strongly worded reprimand from the university's board of regents, and an immediate withdrawal of your funding.
A group of charity workers are sent to africa to see how their program is working.
They are walking down a street and see a crocodile with mans head in its mouth. When they get home and are asked about how their trip went one of them says "we can cut all funding, they got Lacoste sleeping bags"
what do you get if you cross an octopus with a scorpion?
A freeze on your funding, and an immediate visit from the ethics committee.
What do you get when you cross a baby with an octopus?
An angry letter from the ethics committee and immediate cessation of all funding.
What do you get when you cross a hamster with a polar bear?
A loss of project funding and a stern telling off from the university ethics committee
I made a donation to mesothelioma research.
They're kinda limited on funding and doing asbestos they can.
Trump wants to cut funding for birth control, renegotiate trade deals, and stop the wars in the Middle East.
It seems pulling out is his solution for everything.
How many congressmen does it take to run a government?
This post is government funded, please check back after the shutdown has ended and funding has resumed.
Did you hear the President overruled Betsy DeVos and is restoring the Special Olympics funding?
I hear he wants to compete.
TIL: The CIA is funding black sites by using detainees in Cuba to manufacture a brand energy drinks.
It's called "Guaranamo"
US to stop funding WHO
I don't know!
What do you call it when a group of Germans give you money online?
k**... funding
