Fund Jokes

Funniest Fund Short Jokes

Short fund jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The fund humour may include short finance jokes also.

1. What do you get if you cross a cow with an octopus? An immediate cessation of funding and a stern rebuke from the ethics committee
2. What do you get when you cross a cow and an octopus? A reprimand from the Scientific Ethics and Integrity Committee and an immediate withdrawal of your grant funding.
3. Dear Brits: We have received your ultimatum and have scrounged for the ransom... ...but we could only come up with half.
   Feel free to him back halfway and we'll wire the funds. Thanks, the US
4. Those hedge funds should have known they'd lose money by shorting GME. As for us Gamestop customers, we fully expect to sell something for $20 and have to spend $500 when we want to buy it back.
5. What do you call a bunch of hedge funds that already lost $70 B shorting stocks? A good start. HOLD the LINE.
6. Banks need to be better at restocking these atm at Xmas…. This is the 5 th one I have been to that said insufficient funds
7. What do you get when you cross a cat and an octopus? A strong reprimand from the ethics committee and immediate recission of all funding.
8. What do you get if you cross a woman with a whale? Your research funding suspended and a severe reprimand from the ethics committee.
9. What do you get when you cross an octopus and a lion? A stern rebuke from the ethics committee and an immediate withdrawal of funds.
10. Banks should really do a better job of keeping their ATMs filled. I went to four different ones today and they all said "Insufficient Funds"

Share These Fund Jokes With Friends

Fund One Liners

Which fund one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with fund? I can suggest the ones about budget and invest.

1. What happens when you try and breed a cow with an octopus? You lose your funding.
2. I'm saving up some money to plant bushes for my backyard. That's…my hedge fund.
3. I spent my children's college fund on a boat... I'm going to call it the scholarship.
4. What Saudi funded event ended in a massive collapse on 9/11? Hillary Clinton's campaign.
5. Aquarium decorations on clearance! Sorry, no reef funds.
6. I'm so irritated This is the 5th ATM I've been to today that has 'insufficient funds'.
7. What do you call a bush full of money A hedge fund
8. What should cows invest in? Mootual funds
9. Wanna know how to fund the Taliban? Pay your taxes.
10. I went to a hedge fund manager's work to punch him in the face And order a McDouble
11. What do you call an investment partnership run by friendly Swedes? a Hej Fund
12. my burger bun startup is going well And I've got seed funding already
13. What did the Bushes do after they retired from politics? Opened up a hedge fund
14. A hacker saw my financials He set up a go fund me
15. What do you call a mental person who needs money? Fund-a-mental

Hedge Fund Jokes

Here is a list of funny hedge fund jokes and even better hedge fund puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• To the game stop hedge fund investors: I know you spent 70 billion. But the best I can offer you is $4 in credit.
• Lost my job as a hedge fund manager today, not sure if due to dress code or work performance! All the boss would tell me is something about my shorts and that that they didn't cover.
• I started a charity for the billionaire hedge fund investors affected by the Game Stop Short Squeeze. But Soon after, I realized there's already a Charity for them, The US Government.
• I don't understand why people think money grows on trees when clearly, it actually grows on shrubbery. That's where hedge funds come from!
• After being shorted by hedge funds, Gamestop, AMC, Blackberry and Nokia are watching those funds cry about their losses I guess you could say those... companies love misery
• What do you call it when a hedge fund manager loses his job to a Watson inspired AI built by IBM? It doesn't matter. We'll all be laughing too hard to care.
• What do you call the CFO of a landscaping company? A hedge fund manager
• Where did the man with an undecorated yard put his spare change? His Hedge Fund.
• What do you call a landscaper's bank account? A hedge fund
• What do you call a bush in a suit? A hedge fund manager

Investment Fund Jokes

Here is a list of funny investment fund jokes and even better investment fund puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• When the sun sets every evening, Superman moves all his Bitcoin investments into a regular mutual fund. He tries to protect himself from Crypto night.
• Where do gum chewing cattle invest? Moo-chew-all funds
• What do you call the tabletop for investment fund managers? Warhammer 401(k)
• Where does a hedge knight invest his money? In a hedge fund

Mutual Fund Jokes

Here is a list of funny mutual fund jokes and even better mutual fund puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Whats the difference between a hippie and a mutual fund. Eventually a mutual fund matures and gains profit

Comical Fund Jokes to Spread Joy and Laughter

What funny jokes about fund you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean fare jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make fund pranks.