Fumbles Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

Blonde gets caught speeding.

The cop is also a blonde.

Cop: Let me see your driver's license.

Driver: What's that?

Cop: A square thing with your picture on it.

Blonde fumbles through her purse, finds a mirror, sees herself in it, and hands it to the cop.

Cop looks at it, hands it back and says,

I'm gonna let you go without a ticket. I didn't know you were a cop.


Two Cops were waiting outside of a bar at closing time......

.....waiting to pop drunk drivers.

A man comes out of the bar, and he is obviously in rough shape. He is weaving all over the place, and almost falls when he trips on a curb. He fumbles with his car keys for almost two minutes, dropping them several times before he finally unlocks his car. He gets in, starts the car, and drives off.

Needless to say, the cops follow him: for several miles. The man's driving was flawless, perfect and in accordance with all traffic laws.

Finally, they decide to pull him over anyway. They turn on their lights. He pulls over instantly. They ask him to step out of the car; he calmly complies. They check his license; it is valid, and clean. They give him several field sobriety tests, each harder than the last. He passes all with flying colors.

The two cops look at each other, then the man, and ask "Sir, you aren't drunk, are you?"

"No, I'm not," says the man.

"Then why were you acting drunk when you left the bar?"

"I'm tonight's DD."

"Designated Driver?"

"No, I'm the Designated Decoy. All of my drunk friends drove off the other way."

A young girl walks in on her dad peeing...

The dad fumbles around trying to cover up. Then the girl says "don't worry dad. I've seen one before. Mommy brushes her teeth with the neighbor's."

A female blond police officer pulls over another blond female driver..

Blond police officer: "Can I see your license and registration?"
Driver: "What's a license?"
Police officer: "It's a thing in your purse with your picture on it."
Driver: *Fumbles through purse and finds her reflection on a mirror and hands it to the officer*
Police officer: *looks in mirror and sees own reflection and hands the mirror back the driver*
Police officer: "I'm so sorry for pulling you over, I didn't know you were a fellow officer, have a great day" *Walks away*

A man summons his nurse in the recovery room

He pulls her close and asks Are my testicles black?
The nurse, is somewhat taken aback but lifts the bedsheets to check, moves some stuff around and says No.

A while later the nurse comes back in and is again asked can you please check and see if my testicles are black?
Again the nurse lifts the bedsheets and fumbles around a bid and reports that they are just fine and not to worry.

The man pulls her closer, clears his throat and repeats slowly I said please check and see if my test results are back!

Statistician joke

An engineer, a physicist, and a statistician all die and go to heaven.
When they arrive at the pearly gate St. Peter stops them and says before you pass through I have a simple question for each of you.
He turns to the engineer and asks, "What's 2 + 2"?
The engineer pulls out his slide ruler, fumbles it around and says, "3.9999".
St. Peter is fine with this answer and says, "Come on in".
He then turns to the physicist and asks the same question, "What's 2 + 2?"
The physicist turns to a chalk board that appears out of no where and writes out this elaborate proof, 2 + 2 = 4
St. Peter is very pleased and says, "Come on in".
He then turns to the Statistican and asks again, "What's 2 + 2"?
The Statistician pauses for a bit, scratches his head and then says, "What do you want it to be?"

What are the funniest fumbles jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Fumbles? Well, here are the best Fumbles puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Fumbles pick up lines to share with friends.


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