The Best 63 Fully Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Fully jokes. There are some fully totally jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these fully full puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Fully Jokes and Puns

Man walks into Bar with a Dog ...

Man walks into Bar with a Dog and orders 2 Glasses of Whiskey.

He & his Dog empty the Glasses.

Girl behind the Bar is surprised and asks - Can your Dog perform any other tricks?

Man-Yes, He can fully satisfy a Woman.

Girl is too curious.. Deciding that she'll test the dog, she undresses and lies in full expectation.

Dog looks at her and does nothing....

Man to Dog: It's always the same with you, now this is the last time I am showing you how to do it..

Did you hear about the naked man who fell into an upholstery machine?

He is fully recovered.

A few insurance workers are gathered at lunch when...

a wrinkly, old woman walks up. She approaches them with her hands behind her back and says to them, "If any of you can guess what is behind my back, you can sleep with me!"

The men all laugh before one man yells out, "I dont know. A fully grown alligator!"

The old woman shows a big smile and responds, "Close enough!"

Fully joke, A few insurance workers are gathered at lunch when...

Irishman in confession

An Irishman goes into the confessional box after years of being away from the Church. There's a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap. On the other wall is a dazzling array of the finest cigars and chocolates.

Then the priest comes in. "Father, forgive me, for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession, but I must first admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be."

The priest replies, "Get out. You're on my side."

Couldn't get into the library the other day...

... it was fully booked.


A cop is out on patrol, and sees a car parked in the local lover's lane, with the windows all steamed up.

He knocks on the drivers window, and the guy inside rolls it down. The cop sees that there is a guy sitting in the front seat, fully clothed, and a girl in the back seat, also fully clothed.

"What are you up to here, son?"

"Well, officer, I'm reading a magazine, as you can see."

"And what's she doing back there?"

"I think she's playing a game on her phone."

"Have you been drinking tonight?"

"No, sir. I'm only twenty."

"And how old is she?"

The guy looks at his watch and says, "Sir, in eleven minutes she'll be eighteen."

At first, I was merely a stock trading enthusiast…

…but now I'm fully invested.

Fully joke, At first, I was merely a stock trading enthusiast…

Women are alot like continents.

At various times in her life, a woman is like the continents of the world. From 13 to 18, she's like Africa- virgin territory. From 18 to 30, she's like Asia- hot and exotic. From 30 to 45, she's like America- fully explored and free with her resources. From 45 to 55, she's like Europe- exhausted, but not without places of interest. From 55 onwards, she's like Australia- everybody knows it's down there, but nobody cares.

A man was walking down the street when he heard a distant voice say, "Climb the ladder to success."

The man then noticed a ladder leaning up against the building to his right. Again, he heard the voice: "Climb the ladder to success." The man shrugged and began to climb. The voice kept repeating itself and grew louder as the man approached the top. "Climb the ladder to success." Finally, the man reached the top of the building, where he found a fully naked man. "Hi, I'm Sess."

This may be controversial to most people, but i feel it must be said. I FULLY support flying the rebel flag.

How else are we supposed to show our support and remembrance of the battle of Hoth, and our willingness to topple the empire and bring peace to the galaxy?

Now that I'm almost 30, there is nothing more sexy to me, than a girl who is fully covered...

...By her health insurance provider.

You can explore fully human reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean fully sufficiently dad jokes. There are also fully puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Today my coworker fell into the reupholstering machine at work

don't worry, he's fully recovered

My wife is just like pi.

Irrational and impossible to fully understand.

A man lies naked on the beach...

But because his private parts aren't as tanned as the rest of his body, he place a hat on it. A few minutes later a lady walks by, fully nude. The lady jokinly said to the man "Well, if you were a gentleman, you would raise your hat for me..." The man answered in return "Well, m'lady, the hat would raise itself, if you weren't that ugly."

Obama calls for greater truck control laws.

Apparently the the truck in France had a fully automatic transmission.

Sometimes, to impress girls, I use big words that I don't fully understand...

...in an effort to sound more photosynthesis.

Fully joke, Sometimes, to impress girls, I use big words that I don't fully understand...

What's the difference between young girls and photographs?

After putting them in a dark room, you have to wait for the photograph to fully develop.

My girlfriend hung a note on the fridge...

...which said: "I can't do it, it's not working anymore."

Door could be opened. Light is fully functional. Beer is cold.

I got no clue what she was talking about

I had a terrible accident a while ago and fell into an upholstery machine.

I'm fully recovered now...


My band played at a library yesterday

It was fully booked!

I just found my old Nokia and connected it with my power bank.

The power bank is now fully charged again.

Whenever I see a commercial with a woman looking fully relaxed in a tub with 2 round slices of cucumber on her eyes ...

I wonder where the rest of the cucumber is.

I just saw a "Breaking News" link from Fox News come across my Facebook feed

Fully thought it was their new slogan

I couldn't schedule an appointment today at my local library

Apparently they're fully booked

I'm the kind of guy that knows what every woman really wants

Pockets. Women want fully functional pockets.

An engineer, a mathematician, and a physicist are asked to measure the volume of a pig.

The engineer answers: "we fill a pool to the brim with water, fully immerse the pig, collect the spilled water and measure its weight. The pig will have a volume of 1dm^3 per collected Kg."

The mathematician answers: "we freeze the pig, slice it and integrate the slices' areas to obtain a volume."

The physicist answers: "let P be a spherical, friction-less pig...

I really wanted to have an abortion joke.

But I decided to let it go... don't worry it wasn't fully developed.

What do you call a gun made fully from concrete?

An asphalt rifle

Solid joke right?

It irks me when people say I have "half baked ideas"

all my ideas happen when I'm fully baked.

The most important thing in a relationship is trust

Because if you don't fully trust her, how do you know she's not gonna tell your wife.

Good one from my dad: "I can cut wood by just looking at it"

Came up during a conversation about having a bonfire

Dad "Here's something you might not have known about me, I can cut wood by just looking at it"

Me, fully expecting a dad joke: "I don't believe you but would you care to elaborate"

Dad: "It's true! I saw it with my own eyes"

He giggled to himself for about 10 minutes after that one.

Mom got a sex change operation

After being unhappy for many years my mother came to me and said she was going to get a sex change operation. I didn't fully understand but I was very supportive throughout the whole operation, then he came home.

That's when it all started, all the time all day long horrible dad jokes, terrible puns and all around just awful humor. After a few weeks and being fed up, I realized something and I confronted them.

"Did you seriously just have a sex change operation just for the dad jokes?!" I asked.

He replied, "Oh you could see right through me, I must be so trans-parent."

I was trying to make a reservation for a seat at the library

But they were fully booked

A father and a son were talking about the possibility of cloning each other. The son says, Umm, I don't know about that. I don't really fully understand what it does. The father looks at him and says..

Well son, that makes two of us.

Irish Confession

Murphy goes into the confessional box after years of being away from the Church.
He pulls aside the curtain, enters and sits himself down.
There's a fully equipped bar with crystal glasses, the best vestry wine, Guinness on tap, cigars and liqueur chocolates nearby.
And on the wall a fine photographic display of various women who appear to have misplaced their garments.
He hears a priest come in. Father, forgive I think its been a while since I've been to confession and to be sure I must say that the confessional box is much better than it used to be.
The priest replies, Get out, you idiot. You're on my side!

A detective is trying to solve a murder mystery

A lady was killed by being stabbed 17 times. The only evidence was a knife, fully made of concrete. The detective sent the knife to a lab, hoping for any DNA evidence, but unfortunately, the results came back inconclusive.

The detective was puzzled. He was sure it was concrete evidence.

I'm fully convinced that Stalin's grave...

...is just a Communist plot.

A joke becomes a Dad joke...

when it's fully groan.

A party of adventurers walk into a tavern

fully armed and sit down at a table. The bartender comes over and asks, "Hey, why do you guys have your weapons ready?"

The party leader replies, "Mimics."

The bartender laughs.

The party laughs.

The table laughs.

George Carlin once famously joked, "Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that."

Thanks to all those people wearing masks but leaving their noses fully exposed, the stupider half is now a lot easier to spot.

Did you hear about the guy who fell into the upholstery machine?

No need to worry, he's fully recovered

I had an industrial accident last week.

I fell into an upholstery machine, but I'm fully recovered now.

I called the library to try to make a reservation...

But they said they were fully booked.

Reddit has gone fully green to help the environment.

Their front page is made of 100% recycled material.

Finally, something on which I can fully agree with Trump:

His followers ARE special.

My new hearing aids are so good, they're restored my hearing fully

- That's awesome, how long have you had them?
- About 200$

Anthropologists tell us Neanderthal men did not walk fully erect.

Which makes sense, given what Neanderthal women looked like.

Those hedge funds should have known they'd lose money by shorting GME.

As for us Gamestop customers, we fully expect to sell something for $20 and have to spend $500 when we want to buy it back.

My dad fell into an upholstery machine last week.

He's fully recovered now.

They say "Those who can't do, teach"

As a redditor, I am fully qualified to teach sex ed

While I was walking down the street I saw someone pushing a shopping trolley

The shopping trolley was fully of horseshoes, four leaf clovers and rabbits feet. I asked them what they were doing. They told me they were pushing their luck.

President Biden visits a fully vaccinated senior home

After a heartful speech in which he thanked the staff for their effort and the residents for their sacrifices he was doing the hand-shaking round. As he greeted a particular old woman who appeared to be quite "out of it", he asked her, "Do you know who I am?". Her response was simply, "No, but there's a nice woman at the front desk who can tell you!"

Soviet joke my grandpa told me

Brezhnev is showing his mother how well he has done. He shows her his suite in the Kremlin, his country house with a fully stocked kitchen, his Black Sea villa, his limousine. She says: 'This is all really nice...but what will you do if the Bolsheviks come back?'

You know what a baby is?

It is just a fully baked cream pie

How do you tell the difference between a fully vaccinated person and an unvaccinated person if they aren't wearing a mask?

Ask them who won the election.

I tried making a reservation at the library...

..they said that they were fully booked.

If I was in a room with two bullets, Hitler, Osama bin laden, and any person that sleeps fully clothed

I'd walk away, because Hitler and Bin Laden are both dead and I don't have a gun.

An Irishman goes into the confessional box...

An Irishman goes into the confessional box after years of being away from the Church.

There's a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap.

On the other wall is a dazzling array of the finest cigars and chocolates.

Then the priest comes in.

"Father, forgive me, for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession, but I must first admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be."

The priest replies: "Get out. You're on my side."

A cop sees a car parked in the local Lover's Lane with the windows all steamed up.

He goes over and taps on the window. The guy inside rolls it down.

The cop looks inside and sees the fellow sitting behind the wheel, fully dressed. There's a young lady sitting in the back seat, also fully dressed.

The cop says, "What are you doing out here?"

Guy says, "I'm watching a video on my phone."

"And what's she doing back there?"

"I think she's on Facebook."

"What's going on here? How old are you, son?"

"I'm twenty."

"And how old is she?"

"In...thirteen minutes she'll be eighteen."

My kid recently realized that they were born in the wrong body.

Now, I fully support anything they need to do to feel more like themselves, but I never imagined it would affect my social life like it has. The teachers won't see me, my friends act like I'm not there. Hell even the mailman hasn't made a delivery in weeks. I never realized how hard it was to be a transparent.

Dad, what is evolution?

Dad: it's when smart people get fully vaccinated before the big delta wave

There no such thing a fully committed Jew.

Most of them are only Jew-ish.

Great news! The U.S. is now 61.7% fully vaccinated ...

... and 28.4% fully dewormed.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the fully functional jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working fully intact piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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