The Best 23 Full Of Shit Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Full Of Shit jokes. There are some full of shit stuff jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these full of shit dipshit puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Full Of Shit Jokes and Puns

My friend regularly takes anti-diarrhea pills and claims it increases his work productivity, due to reduced trips to the restroom daily.

I think he's full of shit.

A grandfather and his grandson in the supermarket

A woman in a supermarket is following a grandfather and his badly behaved three-year-old grandson. It's obvious to her that he has his hands full with the child screaming for candy in the candy aisle, cookies in the cookie aisle and for cereal and soda in the other aisles.

Meanwhile, Granddad is working his way around, saying in a controlled voice: "Easy, William, we won't be long, easy, boy."

Another outburst, and she hears the granddad calmly say: "It's OK, William, just a couple more minutes and we'll be out of here. Hang in there, boy."

At the checkout, the little terror is throwing items out of the cart, and Granddad says again in a controlled voice: "William, William, relax buddy, don't get upset. We'll be home in five minutes; stay cool, William."

Very impressed, the woman goes outside where the grandfather is loading his groceries and the boy into the car. She says to the elderly gentleman: "It's none of my business, but you were amazing in there. I don't know how you did it. That whole time, you kept your composure, and no matter how loud and disruptive he got, you just calmly kept saying things would be OK. William is very lucky to have you as his grandpa."

"Thanks," said the grandfather, "but I'm William. The little shit's name is Kevin."

One day a teacher was reading the story of the three little pigs to her class

She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to accumulate the building material for his home.

She read, . . . And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said, 'Pardon me sir, but may i have some of that straw to build a house?'

The teacher paused, then asked the class, And what do you think that man said?

One little boy raised his hand and said, I think he said, 'HOLY SHIT! A TALKING PIG!?!'

Why don't people like to hit a Trump Pinata?

Because they know it's full of shit.

Guy dies and goes to hell.

Satan meets him and tells him he's got to pick between 2 rooms. They go into the first room, and it's full of people standing on their heads on a marble floor. He takes him to the second room, and it's full of people sitting in an 18-inch deep layer of shit, drinking coffee. Guy figures that he likes coffee, and he'll get used to the smell, so he chooses the second room. He gets a cup of coffee, sits down and takes a sip. At that moment, Satan sticks his head back in the room and calls out Ok, everybody. Coffee break's over. Back on your heads!


I asked my boss if I can have the day off due to severe constipation

He said no because I'm full of shit

What do you call someone who questions everything and is full of shit?

A skeptic tank

A cannibal was walking through the jungle

and came upon a restaurant operated by a fellow cannibal.

Feeling somewhat hungry,he sat down and looked over the menu.


*Grilled Tourist: $5.00


*Broiled Missionary: $10.00


*Fried Explorer: $15.00


*Baked Politician: $100.00


The cannibal called the waiter over and


asked, "Why such a high price for


politicians?" The cook replied, "Have you


ever tried to clean one? They are so full of


shit that it takes all day!"

A cannibal attends a restaurant ran by another cannibal

Feeling somewhat hungry, he sat down and browsed the menu:

\*Grilled Tourist $5.00

\*Broiled Missionary $10.00

\*Fried Explorer $15.00

\*Diced Marine $20.00

\*Baked Politician $1000.00

The cannibal called a waiter over and asked, "Why such a high price for politicians?"

The cook replied, "Have you ever tried to clean one? They're so full of shit that it takes all day!"

You should never trust people with constipation.

Because they are full of shit

You are so full of shit, the toilet’s jealous.

You can explore full of shit trek voyager reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean full of shit piss dad jokes. There are also full of shit puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


You've asked for more Russian jokes...

The sewer system is broken and is full of shit. Maintenance crew arrived. The old experienced guy jumps into the sewer and asks the young apprentice to pass him a tool, then another one. Finally, after it's fixed, he gets out of the sewer, covered in shit from head to feet and says:
"Learn from the master, otherwise the only thing you will ever do is pass the tools!"

Little Johnny: Contagious

The teacher asks the class to use the word 'contagious' in a sentence, and see's only one hand go up, yes the dreaded Little Johnny, Knowing full well she is about to be burned yet again by this little shit. She sighs and tells him to go ahead.

With a glint in his eye, Little johnny proceeds:


"My dad and I saw our neighbour cutting his lawn with a pair of nail scissors, my dad said "Its going to take that contagious to do that"


Boom boom.

An eagle is flying over the Grand Canyon when it spies a frog by a stream.

The eagle swoops down and swallows the frog whole, flying off with a full stomach. Somehow the frog makes it through the eagle's digestive tract and pokes his head out of the eagle's asshole.

The frog takes a look around and yells back at the eagle: "Hey eagle. About how high up are we?

The eagle yells back, "Oh about 10,000 feet."

The frog replies, "Really? You wouldn't shit me now, would you?"

At a bathroom line.

''Can I go before you? I really need to number two''

''No, I was here before you and I need to go as well''.

''I swear I need to go more than you''.

''You're so full of shit''.

What does a sewer and a politician have in common

They are both full of shit

How does one most accurately weigh themselves?

When they aren't full of shit.

I took a sick day and lied that I had constipation

My boss bought it and even said he hopes I get well soon and stop being so full of shit

The compulsive liar goes to the doctor

Patient: "Doctor I'm constipated! I haven't been to the bathroom for 10 whole weeks!"

Doctor: "I think you are full of shit!"

Patient: "That's what I'm saying!"


What does a toddler, a police department, and a politician have in common?

You can tell when they're full of shit.

My friend told me he's constipated.

I just don't believe him, he is full of shit

Doctor!

A worried nurse rushes into the Doctor's office and tells him
"Doctor! There's a man in the waiting room who says he hasn't pooped in 12 years! Do you think he's telling the truth?"

The doctor ponders a moment and says " Send him back and I'll check him out. One thing is for certain, either way he's full of shit."

Never trust someone who's constipated

They're full of shit

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the full of shit big boobs jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working full of shit merde piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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