Full Jokes

• Short Full Jokes
• Full One Liners
• Glass Half Full Jokes
• Glass Is Half Full Jokes
• Full Moon Jokes
• Full Recovery Jokes
• More Full Jokes

Funniest Full Short Jokes

Short full jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The full humour may include short partial jokes also.

1. Why will the congress never impeach Trump? Because the republicans always insist on carrying a baby to full term.
2. Today I saw an ad that said "radio for sale, $1, volume stuck on full." I thought, "I can't turn that down."
3. My friend keeps saying "cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water" I know he means well...
4. I can't stand homeless people Every time I leave work, one of them approaches me and shakes his can full of coins just to show off how he has more money than me.
5. I asked my wife So, do you think the cup is half full or half empty? And you know what she said? Please for the love of god could you stop wearing my bras!
6. My friend always tells me "cheer up, at least you aren't stuck in a deep hole full of water" I know he means well...
7. A waiter walks up to a table full of Jewish women dining And says "ladies, is anything ok?"
8. How do you make a room full of epileptics go nut? Ask someone with parkingsons disease to turn off the lights
9. Why haven't I ever met a full blooded jew? All of the ones I've met have just been Jew-ish
10. My friend keeps saying, "cheer up, man. You could be in an underground hole full of water." I know he means well.

Share These Full Jokes With Friends

Full One Liners

Which full one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with full? I can suggest the ones about empty and fill.

1. I saw an ad in a shop window, "TV for $5- Volume stuck on full" Couldn't turn it down.
2. What starts with a 't' ends with a 't' and is full of 't' ? A teapot.
3. Eminem isn't allowed to get the full COVID vaccine He only gets one shot
4. Why are ghost always drunk? They're full of booooooos.
5. What is big, yellow and can't swim? A bus full of children
6. Last night I played a blank tape at full volume. The mime next door went nuts.
7. I really don't like russian dolls... They are so full of themselves.
8. Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is
9. I hate Russian dolls They're so full of themselves
10. Why is Tumblr so unhealthy? It's full of trans fats.
11. I have a jar full of jars, I call it jar jar, and when I shake it, Jar Jar Clinks
12. I've never met a full on jew They were all just sort of jew-ish
13. Why are Russian dolls so egocentric? Because they are full of themselves.
14. What do you call the white guy on a bus full of black guys? coach.
15. What do you call a prison full of kangaroos? Australia

Glass Half Full Jokes

Here is a list of funny glass half full jokes and even better glass half full puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• An optimist says, the glass is half full. A pessimist says, the glass is half empty. An optometrist says, you both need glasses.
• Interviewer: Is the glass half empty or half full? Applicant: It's completely full.
  Interviewer: We'd be glad to hire you. Welcome to the Lays factory.
• Pessimist: The glass is half empty... Optimist: The glass is half full
  Journalist: You won't BELIEVE what's in this glass!
• Optimist: "This glass is half-full." Pessimist: "This glass is half-empty." EA Employee: "Download the next half for $9.99!"
• Some say the glass is half empty, some say the glass is half full. The engineer says... ... the glass is twice the size it needs to be.
• A pessimist thinks the glass is half empty, an optimist thinks it is half full... An engineer thinks the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
• Optimist: Glass half full Pessimist : Glass half empty
  Engineer: Glass is too tall.
• I told my friend, "My dad's a glass half-full kind of guy." He said, "Oh! He's an optimist?"
  "No he has Parkinson's Disease."
• The Glass Happy person: The glass is half full
  Depressed person: The glass is half empty
  The Engineer: The glass is twice as big as necessary.
• An optimist says the glass is half full, a pessimist says the glass is half empty... ... an engineer just points out that the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

Glass Is Half Full Jokes

Here is a list of funny glass is half full jokes and even better glass is half full puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Engineers' view about a glass of water! To the optimist, the glass is half-full.
  To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty.
  To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
• Perspective The optimist says "The glass is half full."
  The pessimist says "The glass is half empty."
  The engineer says "The vessel contains twice the required space for the volume present."
• A pessimist says the glass is half empty. An optimist says the glass is half full. The engineer says the glass is too big.
• What did the full glass say to the half empty glass? You look drunk.
• There are three kinds of people... The ones who say the glass is half full,
  The ones who say the glass is half empty,
  And the one who thinks you should have gotten a smaller glass.
• I went back in time to become the first person to say the glass was half full. You can refer to me as "optimist prime."
• Glass half full Optimist thinks the glass is 1/2 full.
  Pessimist thinks the glass is 1/2 empty.
  Excel knows the glass is February the 1st.
• What do you call an optimistic programmer? A glass half full stack developer.
• There are 3 types of people Them: "the glass is half full"
  Others: "the glass is half empty"
  Me: "they didn't get my order right"
• You ever been to an optimistic optometrist? They'll tell you that your glasses are half full.

Full Moon Jokes

Here is a list of funny full moon jokes and even better full moon puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What do little shops become at full moon? Werehouses
• A Halloween Limerick A lady vampire named Mable
  Had a period that was awfully stable.
  So once a full moon
  She took out her spoon
  And drank herself under the table.
• I told my Dr. I only smoke once every blue moon…. The problem is my refrigerator is full of them.
• Scientists have recently discovered a new bioluminescent bug that performs a strange dance any time there is a full moon. They are calling it a Raving Luna Tick.
• Why did the moon skip dinner? Because it was full.
• What did the house turn into on the night of the full moon? A Warehouse.
• Why did the moon skip dinner? It was full
• On October 31st, we will have a full moon, and the 7th planet from the sun will be its brightest... So when someone sees the moon that day, they will likely see Uranus too...
• What happens when you put a bunch of cardboard boxes in your house during a full moon? You make it a warehouse
• What happens to a house on a full moon? It becomes a warehouse!

Full Recovery Jokes

Here is a list of funny full recovery jokes and even better full recovery puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• President Trump's doctor is telling the public to prepare for the worst.... A full recovery
• Is Chuck Norris still alive However, after his minor inconvenience of death, Chuck has made a full recovery, and is reported to be doing quite well.
• An italian pastry chef was injured at work this friday We Cannoli hope he makes a full recovery.
• Friend of mine was shot at the bakery today, he is expected to make a full recovery. They say he was lucky it just glazed him, donut who did it but the cops are there.
• Amy Schumer hospitalized for severe kidney infection. Vet says she'll make a full recovery.

Playful Full Jokes to Add Joy and Laughter to Your Group

What funny jokes about full you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean completed jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make full pranks.