Full Jokes

Funniest Full Short Jokes

Short full jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The full humour may include short partial jokes also.

1. Why will the congress never impeach Trump? Because the republicans always insist on carrying a baby to full term.
2. Today I saw an ad that said "radio for sale, $1, volume stuck on full." I thought, "I can't turn that down."
3. My friend keeps saying "cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water" I know he means well...
4. I asked my wife So, do you think the cup is half full or half empty? And you know what she said? Please for the love of god could you stop wearing my bras!
5. A waiter walks up to a table full of Jewish women dining And says "ladies, is anything ok?"
6. President Trump's doctor is telling the public to prepare for the worst.... A full recovery
7. I went to a restaurant. It was full; no place to sit...
   I took out my mobile,
   Placed it to my ear and said loudly- "Bro come fast, she's here with someone else...
   Six couples ran away
8. If you have have a small green ball in one hand and another small green ball in the other, what do you have? Kermit the Frog's full attention.
9. An optimist says, the glass is half full. A pessimist says, the glass is half empty. An optometrist says, you both need glasses.
10. Interviewer: Is the glass half empty or half full? Applicant: It's completely full.
    Interviewer: We'd be glad to hire you. Welcome to the Lays factory.

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Full One Liners

Which full one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with full? I can suggest the ones about empty and fill.

1. I saw an ad in a shop window, "TV for $5- Volume stuck on full" Couldn't turn it down.
2. What starts with a 't' ends with a 't' and is full of 't' ? A teapot.
3. Eminem isn't allowed to get the full COVID vaccine He only gets one shot
4. Why are ghost always drunk? They're full of booooooos.
5. What is big, yellow and can't swim? A bus full of children
6. Last night I played a blank tape at full volume. The mime next door went nuts.
7. Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is
8. I have a jar full of jars, I call it jar jar, and when I shake it, Jar Jar Clinks
9. What do you call the white guy on a bus full of black guys? Coach.
10. What do you call a prison full of kangaroos? Australia
11. What's worse than a box full of snakes? A box that was SUPPOSED to be full of snakes.
12. Why did everyone hate communism? I'd give it full Marx
13. What Do You Call A Line Of Men Waiting For A Haircut? A Barbecue.
14. What do little shops become at full moon? Werehouses
15. At 70, she still had a body like an hourglass Brittle and full of sand

Glass Half Full Jokes

Here is a list of funny glass half full jokes and even better glass half full puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Pessimist: The glass is half empty... Optimist: The glass is half full
  Journalist: You won't BELIEVE what's in this glass!
• Optimist: "This glass is half-full." Pessimist: "This glass is half-empty." EA Employee: "Download the next half for $9.99!"
• Some say the glass is half empty, some say the glass is half full. The engineer says... ... the glass is twice the size it needs to be.
• I told my friend, "My dad's a glass half-full kind of guy." He said, "Oh! He's an optimist?"
  "No he has Parkinson's Disease."
• What did the full glass say to the half empty glass? You look drunk.
• There are three kinds of people... The ones who say the glass is half full,
  The ones who say the glass is half empty,
  And the one who thinks you should have gotten a smaller glass.
• I went back in time to become the first person to say the glass was half full. You can refer to me as "optimist prime."
• Glass half full Optimist thinks the glass is 1/2 full.
  Pessimist thinks the glass is 1/2 empty.
  Excel knows the glass is February the 1st.
• What do you call an optimistic programmer? A glass half full stack developer.
• There are 3 types of people Them: "the glass is half full"
  Others: "the glass is half empty"
  Me: "they didn't get my order right"

Glass Is Half Full Jokes

Here is a list of funny glass is half full jokes and even better glass is half full puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• You ever been to an optimistic optometrist? They'll tell you that your glasses are half full.
• They say an optimist will see a glass as half full, while a pessimist will see it as half empty. Speaking as an alcoholic it's panic stations either way for me.
• What do you call a Transformer who always sees the glass as half full? Optimist Prime
• Some see the glass half full, some see it half empty... I'm an opportunist. I drank it all while the other two argued.
• The Optimist says "the glass is half full" The Pessimist says, "NO it's half empty!"
  The Urologist says, "well it's gonna be full soon!"
  The Urophiliac says, "aaaawwww yeah!"
• I'm more optimistic than most. Some say the glass is half empty, some would say it's half full.
  I'd say "Hey, That's a nice glass!"
• A glass of water that is half full Optimist: The Glass is half full.
  Pessimist: The glass is half empty.
  Thanos: Perfectly balanced.
• An optimist sees a glass half full... A pessimist sees the glass half empty.
  A kleptomaniac sees the glass.
• There are 3 types of people in the world: Glass half-full people, glass half-empty people, And kids with antivax parents, who never live long enough to form an opinion
• The philosopher says the glass is half empty, the optimist says the glass is half full.... The sjw says the glass is half-fluid.

Full Moon Jokes

Here is a list of funny full moon jokes and even better full moon puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• A Halloween Limerick A lady vampire named Mable
  Had a period that was awfully stable.
  So once a full moon
  She took out her spoon
  And drank herself under the table.
• I told my Dr. I only smoke once every blue moon…. The problem is my refrigerator is full of them.
• Scientists have recently discovered a new bioluminescent bug that performs a strange dance any time there is a full moon. They are calling it a Raving Luna Tick.
• Why did the moon skip dinner? Because it was full.
• What did the house turn into on the night of the full moon? A Warehouse.
• On October 31st, we will have a full moon, and the 7th planet from the sun will be its brightest... So when someone sees the moon that day, they will likely see Uranus too...
• What happens when you put a bunch of cardboard boxes in your house during a full moon? You make it a warehouse
• Why do Werewolves howl at the full moon? It's right after a waxing phase.
• As a ginger person, I find tanning to be easy I just go sit underneath the full moon.
• What did the werewolf make on the night of the full moon? A roux.

Full Recovery Jokes

Here is a list of funny full recovery jokes and even better full recovery puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Is Chuck Norris still alive However, after his minor inconvenience of death, Chuck has made a full recovery, and is reported to be doing quite well.
• An italian pastry chef was injured at work this friday We Cannoli hope he makes a full recovery.
• Friend of mine was shot at the bakery today, he is expected to make a full recovery. They say he was lucky it just glazed him, donut who did it but the cops are there.
• Amy Schumer hospitalized for severe kidney infection. Vet says she'll make a full recovery.

Playful Full Jokes to Add Joy and Laughter to Your Group

What funny jokes about full you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean completed jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make full pranks.