The Best 12 Fuhrer Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Fuhrer jokes. There are some fuhrer hitler jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these fuhrer mein puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Fuhrer Jokes and Puns

Hitler used an astrologist to give him guidance in battle...

One day he told the man, "you've served me well. We are winning battles and the war and I'm very pleased with your work. Your ability to predict the future is amazing. But there's one thing I wondered about and wanted to ask you."

How can I serve you mein Fuhrer?

"Do you know what day I'm going to die?"

Of course.

"Well, what day am I going to die?"

Sir, you are going to die on a Jewish holiday.

"Mein gott! That's terrible. What Jewish holiday am I going to die on?"

Any day you die is going to be a Jewish holiday.

Hitler is in his Bunker

One day, Hitler is in his bunker planning his strategy for the next phase of the war when there is a knock at the door. He says "enter" and Goebbels walks in.
"What is it Goebbels? Can't you see I'm busy?!" asks Hitler, clearly irritated.
"Mein Fuhrer," says Goebbels, "I have news. The Italians joined the war today."
"No problem," replies Hitler, "send a division against them."
"Mein Fuhrer, they are on our side."
"Ah," says Hitler, "then send two divisions."

Hitler goes to France

As he reaches the immigration desk, the clerk reviews his passport and asks, "Name?"

The fuhrer whispers, "Adolf Hitler"


Hitler shakes his head... "No, just visiting".

German Mining Company

German miner, "herr supervisor, we're working so many hours and we're so efficient that within a year we will run out of ore to mine."

Mine Supervisor, "this is a problem. A very bad problem."

Miner, "what do you suggest we do?"

Supervisor, "Mein Fuhrer."

What did the German general say to the fuhrer when ice chunks started to damage the planes?

Hail, Hitler!

Did you hear about the scarf that Eva Braun knitted for Hitler?

He said it was kampfy and that he reiched it a lot, but that it could have used fuhrer stitches.

One day, Hitler went to meet an astrologer.

"When will I die?" he asked.

"On a Jewish holiday." The astrologer replied with a smirk.

Hitler twisted up his face. "How the hell can you be so sure?"

"Oh, my Fuhrer, any day you die will be a Jewish holiday."

(Not an original for anyone who didn't already know.)

Fuhrer joke, One day, Hitler went to meet an astrologer.

Welcome to Deutschland!

Population: Fuhrer

I asked an old Jewish friend of mine about inviting Nazi's to my wedding.

He said "with the Nazi's, the fuhrer the better"

It must have been terrifying to be Hitler's barber

If you messed up his mustache... You can't imagine the fuhrer!

What kind of jacket did hitler wear?

A fuhrer coat

You can explore fuhrer adolf reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean fuhrer meincraft dad jokes. There are also fuhrer puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

What do you call a pig in a slaughterhouse?

Mein Fuhrer.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the fuhrer nazi puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working fuhrer kampf piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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