Fuel Jokes
123 fuel jokes and hilarious fuel puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about fuel that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Laugh and learn with funny jokes and puns about fossil fuels, no fuel, the price of fuel, and more. Expand your knowledge of diesel fuel, jet fuel, and other types of fuel, as well as stay up to date with the latest information about the ignition and refueling process.
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Funniest Fuel Short Jokes
Short fuel jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The fuel humour may include short battery jokes also.
- In a couple weeks, all gas stations are going to cut prices in half for a whole day April Fuels!
- I think it's smart for Texans to remove books from libraries... They're going to need more fuel for the fires after the Power Grid fails again
- SPOILER ALERT: I just had a piece of metal fitted to the back of my car to reduce drag and increase fuel efficiency.
- I saw a woman at the fuel pump spill gasoline on her arm and then light a cigarette. The police arrested her for waving a firearm.
- for all the ladies waiting for their prince on a white horse Keep up your hopes. With price of fuel it could happen any day now
- Did you hear about the guy who swapped the labels on the pumps at the gas station? It was an April fuels joke.
- Apparently I've been banned from the gas station for playing 'The Who' too loudly on my car stereo... I won't get fueled again.
- In the 1930s, the Italians developed an engine fuel technology that used household spices. It's true. Mussolini made the trains run on thyme
- So a Hipster goes into an auto parts store and asks for a fuel cap for his Smart Car. The sales guy thinks for a moment and says, Yeah, O.K. that is a fair swap.
- I'm at the gas station right now... Just kidding. I am not at the gas station right now. April Fuels
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Fuel One Liners
Which fuel one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with fuel? I can suggest the ones about charger and fuse.
- What do you call a vehicle with no fuel in Africa? Outtagascar
- What fuels electronics but drains a relationship? Battery
- If your car is too heavy You can always use lighter fuel.
- We should move to a herb based fuel economy We can finally make the trains run on thyme.
- What does the train use to fuel it's gaming addiction? steam.
I'm so sorry. - Which Spicegirl can carry the most fuel? Geri can
- What do you call it when a boomer pushes their broken car down the road? Fossil fuel
- My wife drinks gasoline on this specific date. April Fuels.
- Finally going to refuel my car.. It's April Fuels Day.
- Have you heard the story about the dinosaur who found love? It hit me right in the fuels.
- What fuel do birds use to fly? Geesel
- The only time you have too much fuel is when you are on fire
- What do you call a spaceship that runs on all natural fuel? The Millenial falcon
- Roses are red, their stems are green ... Jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams.
- "Pikachu, use astonish!" *Leans into opponent's ear*
"Jet fuel can't melt steel beams."
No Fuel Jokes
Here is a list of funny no fuel jokes and even better no fuel puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- You hear about these new trains that can burn any organic matter for fuel? They even run on thyme!
- Why was the archaeologist sad? Because his career was in ruins!!
Give me your downvotes; I AM FUELED BY YOUR DOWNVOTES!!!! - Did you know that herbs are a good fuel source? Yes, Mussolini made the trains run on thyme.
- I can't believe how much money I've spent fueling my drinking problem. Time to start brewing coffee at home.
- I was filling up my car and fuel leaked onto the ground in the shape of "HA." Guess someone knew I needed some laughing gas.
- My wife's car has a low fuel warning light that tells her when... ...it's time to drive my car for a couple of days
- What are three most useless things in aviation? The runway behind you.
The altitude above you.
The fuel back at the fbo still in the fuel truck. - What would be the American version of "Duck Quacks Don't Echo"? "Jet Fuel Don't Melt Steel Beams".
- Why did the gas station put propane in the gas tanks? April fuels!
- Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's fuel tank as a joke... That truck is now know as Optimus Prime.
Jet Fuel Jokes
Here is a list of funny jet fuel jokes and even better jet fuel puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What can't jet fuel melt melt aside from steel beams? Mountains.
- Funny thing about 9/11.... The fraction can't be reduced by jet fuel.
- And they say jet fuel can't melt steel beams... When Hillary will collapse from too much hot sauce
- Proof that Bush did 7/11 Jet fuel cant melt ICEE's
- Jet fuel Cant melt Steel beams. But steel beams can fall and crush people
- How often does jet fuel melt steel beams? 9/11
- Jet fuel can't melt Steel beams...
- You can lead a horse to water... but jet fuel can't melt steel beams.
- How many sides does a pentagon have? Jet fuel can't melt steel beams.
- Jet Fuel Can Melt Steel Beams Happy April Fools Everyone
Fuel Tank Jokes
Here is a list of funny fuel tank jokes and even better fuel tank puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- TIL that one of the problems in spaceflight is "outgassing", which is the release of extra gases from fuel tanks and affects the craft's trajectory, etc. TIL I am a spaceship.
- What did the turkey say to the fuel less car? Happy tanks-giving!
- This isn't a beer belly, it's a fuel tank for a love machine.
- Where are all the dinosaurs? In my fuel tank
- my car's fuel economy is not doing so good... as a matter of fact, it's tanking
Fuel Pump Jokes
Here is a list of funny fuel pump jokes and even better fuel pump puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why don't you see mumble rappers at gas stations? You can't fuel up your car with a Lil' Pump.
Fossil Fuel Jokes
Here is a list of funny fossil fuel jokes and even better fossil fuel puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A black man attended a protest against fossil fuels... And got six global warming shots in his back.
- I'm starting an activist group to support the use of fossil fuels. Join the coalalition today!
- Today I learned that burning fossil fuels... is one of the leading causes of statistics.
Delightful Fun Fuel Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about fuel you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean tank jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make fuel pranks.
What to Australian Trains use as fuel?
Coal-Ala
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Bud and Jim were a couple of drinking buddies...
who worked as airplane mechanics in Atlanta. One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do.
Bud says, "Man, I wish we had something to drink!" Jim says, "Me too. Y'know, I've heard you can drink jet fuel and get a buzz. You wanna try it?" So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane h**... and get completely smashed.
The next morning Bud wakes up and is surprised at how good he feels. In fact he feels GREAT! NO hangover! NO bad side effects. Nothing! Then the phone rings... It's Jim.
Jim says, "Hey, how do you feel this morning?"
Bud says, "I feel great. How about you?"
Jim says, "I feel great, too. You don't have a hangover?"
Bud says, "No, that jet fuel is great stuff -- no hangover, nothing. We ought to do this more often."
"Yeah, well there's just one thing..."
"What's that?"
"Have you f**... yet?" "No....."
"Well, DON'T, 'cause I'm in PHOENIX!!!"
What weighs more than a car and consumes a lot of fuel, but hardly ever moves?
Your mom.
What did James Hetfield say when he go to the gas station?
Gimme fuel
Remembering idioms is easy
It's not rocket fuel
Climate skeptics and 9/11-truthers unite!
Alternative fuel can't melt steel beams!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two airplane mechanics
Bob and Tim work at Atlanta airport. Atlanta gets fogged in one night and nothing can take off or land so Bob and Tim have nothing to do. After work Bob and Tim usually have a drink on their way home, so Bob says to Tim, I heard that you can get a buzz off drinking jet fuel. Since they have nothing better to do, they try it. Finally, their shift is over and they get to go home. Next morning Bob calls Tim and says, How are you feeling? Tim says he's fine, never felt better. Bob asks, Do you have a hangover? Tim says no. Then Tim says, Wow this is great! We can drink all we want and not get a hangover. Then Bob says, Well, there is one side effect, Tim. Have you f**... yet? Tim says, No, why?
Bob says, I'm calling you from Detroit!
What does RoboCop use for fuel?
Petroleum
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Fine Bros can't sue metal beams,
Because they don't react to jet fuel.
What did Amelia Earhart learn?
Triplane fuel can't melt sea beams.
Four students are having a problem with their car...
Four students are having a problem with their car and are forced to stop on the side of the road.
"The ignition is damaged" says the electrical engineer.
"The fuel pipe is clogged" says the chemist.
"Engines is damaged" says the engineer.
"Lets just get out of the car and get in again" says the computer scientist.
Junk foods are so versatile!
A bag of Lays can be used as fuel for a fire in an emergency, you can have finger sword fights with Bugles, and now, a Cheeto has won the United States Presidential Election!
What do you call gambling currency that can't melt steel beams?
Bet fuel
How do you fuel a truck turning right?
With deosil.
The Google car won't use any fuel
It will run on a search engine
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What type of fuel do painters prefer?
Whatever makes the van gogh..
-id like to mention, for what its worth, that this is an original joke (as s**... as it is), which i thought of independently. I was and am proud of it. If anyone finds it somewhere else please burst my bubble.
A lot of different plants can be turned into alcohol and then used for trucking fuel. I tried this with juniper berries.
I call it gin diesel.
Today I saw a car stop at a zebra crossing in India to let one person cross...
but then I realised it had just run out of fuel.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What kind of fuel do you put in a s**... ambiguous car?
Genderfluid.
A blonde...
...works in a petrol station filling up cars. One day, a spaceship with 'UFO' written on the side lands next to the blonde. The blonde cheerfully fills it with fuel and the spaceship flied off.
The blonde's boss, shocked, comes out to ask why she filled it up.
"Do you know what 'UFO' stands for?" He asks.
"Of course." She replies, "Unleaded Fuel Only".
credits to u/Mr-Everest
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
EA to donate 50% of profits from future titles to starving children around the world.
After they make them purchase the postage, packing materials, fuel for the planes, silverware, plates, drinking cups, seasonings, construct hand out facilities, eating establishments, refuse disposal, environmental studies on said refuse disposal, labor costs and finally any and all expenses from Frank Gaybeau's c**... induced, hotel filled, 5 figure by the hour e**... stuffed full on satanic o**... fest.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Wintertime joke: Give man fire and he will stay warm until it's fuel is consumed.
Set a man on fire and he will stay warm his entire life.
How many New Jersians or Oregonians does it take to fuel a car?
One, if they are a qualified, trained vehicle fueling technician.
Two blondes in a helicopter
Two blondes won a joy ride in a helicopter. As they reached maximum altitude one turned to the other and said "I hope nothing goes wrong, have they got enough fuel?" The other responded "I hope so too, imagine if they ran out, we'd be stuck up here forever!"
A man in my town was arrested for indecent exposure when he forgot to close his fuel filler door on his car.
He was showing the public his gas hole.
I haven't been able to fuel my ATM addiction for a few weeks
But I'm not having withdrawals
When you're trying to slingshot around jupiter but you run out of fuel and end up on a collision course with one of Jupiter's moons...
Europa creek with no paddle.
I hope someone smiles at this dumb space joke.
Why did the automotive engineer scream at his Toyota during his fuel efficiency experiments?
He was a car berater!
Why does Mr. T drive a Tesla?
Because he pities the fuel.
What do you call an ion engine which has run out of fuel?
An ioff engine
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Stirlitz
Stirlitz saw how two German soldiers pour a gasoline on a cat and set it on fire. Poor cat runs in agony and after few seconds fall on ground and dies. He ran out of fuel - Stirlitz said.
What kind of fuel does the Fast and the Furious cast use
Vin Diesel
What do you feed a female horse after dark?
Nightmare fuel
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why does h**... like being on Santa's naughty list?
Because those ovens aren't going to run without a source of fuel!
Why don't you have to wait in line for fuel in Cuba?
Because theres no fuel to begin with
Years ago, I invented an aviation fuel made of water,
but it never took off.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What fuel does a t**... Van run off?
Gender fluid
This is a man that sold his car....
so he can be able to buy some fuel!
Two Nuns run out of gas...
Two Nuns run out of gas a mile from the gas station.
They are rummaging around the car for a gas can, or some other container to hold the fuel but all they can find is a bed pan.
So they take the bed pan and walk the mile to the station, fill the pan and walk back to the car.
So there they are, two Nuns in full Nun garb pouring gas into the vehicle from a bed pan.
A man driving by sees the Nuns, sees the bed pan and exclaims:
"Oh, Lord! Now that is faith!"
A Qatari,American,and Indian are in a boat in middle of sea.All are bragging about their country
The Qatari : In our country,we have excess of oil.*Throws all fuel in the sea*.
The American : In our country,we have excess of advandced gadgets and technology.*Throws every gadget in the sea*.
The Indian : *Throws both of them in the sea*.In our country, we have excess of people.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A large oil company has announced it's going to start producing fuel from insect u**....
I think it's BP
What do clowns fill their cars with?
Laughing gas!
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This has probably been made before, but I just thought of it after my mom, while doing her crossword puzzle, said aloud "fuel for a funny car" and I suggested laughing gas. It wasn't the right answer, unfortunately.
Reasons to Avoid Water
* Can be extracte from rocket fuel
* Is the main ingredient in pestisides
* 100% of violent criminals have consumed water in the hours leading up to their crimes
* Is the #1 cause of drowning
* Excess consumption will cause sweating, urination and possibly death
* 100% of people exposed to water will die
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If anyone in the UK is currently struggling to get hold of some fuel just let me know.
Because my mate j**... can.
A Russian officer is called into a meeting with his superior at their base camp
His boss starts:
"Comrade Lieutenant, it has come to my attention that you have been selling half of our fuel reserves on the black market"
"Yes Captain, it's true..."
"That's most unfortunate Lieutenant..."
"To be honest Captain, I know you sell army supplies too."
"I know..."
"Then what's the problem if I do it?"
"Because I already sold the other half."
After a long flight, the Captain comes onto the PA to address the passengers
I've got good news and bad news...the bad news we are completely lost and had just enough fuel to get to the destination. The good news we are almost out of gas so we should be getting close.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A blonde called her car customer service saying she could only drive her car during the day. During the night, it didn't move at all.
A mechanic comes and after an inspection couldnt find anything wrong.
"You sure you put the right fuel?"
"Yup. Petrol"
Eventually, he asks her if shes using the right gears.
She says, "Of course, I'm not s**.... I'm using D during the day and N during the night"
