Fry Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

A blonde woman walks into a library

A blonde woman walks into a library and talks to the lady at the front desk and says " I'll have a cheeseburger, a large fry, and a pepsi."

The lady replies "Ma'am, this is a library."

The blonde looks around, then whispers " I'll have a cheeseburger, a large fry, and a pepsi."

(Credit goes to my dad for this one. He had another one that I can't remember but once I do I'm coming back to post it)

So a man walks into a donut shop on Dagobah...

And he sees a little green alien behind the counter. He asks for a hot donut.

The alien says, "Broken, our fryer is. Yesterday's donuts, I can sell you. Also, donut ingredients, we still have."

But the man is really craving a warm donut, so he asks, "Are you absolutely sure I can't get a freshly-made donut?"

"Only two options have you!" says the alien. "Dough or donut - there is no fry."

What do Asian pirates do?

They fry pranes!

The first French fry wasn't cooked in France.

It was cooked in Greece.

Did you know that the first French fry wasn't actually cooked in France?

It was cooked in Greece.

What does a Chinese bear fry eggs in?

A pan, duh!

what do you call a slutty french fry?

a potat-hoe

I just got completely burnt fries at a restaurant.

It really is Black Fry Day.

A guy walks into a diner and sees the fry cook, with one arm, making hamburger patties by smashing meat under his armpit...

The guy complains to his waiter that using his armpit to make burger patties is the grossest thing a fry cook could ever do to prepare food.

The waiter responds, I assure you it's not. In the morning he makes donuts.

Two Squirrels GO Camping

They set up a tiny tent and make a tiny campfire. Then, one squirrel pulls out a frying pan and begins to pan fry some twigs. The other squirrel snatches it from his hand and says,

"Are you NUTS?!? This is a non-stick pan!"

I often get the order wrong...

What do I have in common with an incompetent fry cook?

I was born Mary Patterson...

but then I married and, naturally, I took my husbands name. So now I'm Neil Patterson.

From "A Bit of Fry and Laurie"

A man goes to mcdonalds and orders a big mac with a large fry.

The cashier says, "I'm sorry sir, we only accept cash or credit."

Truly delicious tofu recipe:

1) Chuck the tofu.

2) Fry a juicy steak.

What's it called when you fry up an egg with a bunch of different ingredients?

Omelette you figure it out

What do Asian Pirates do?

They fry planes !

A French fry walks into a bar

- Can I see the menu, please?

- I'm sorry, but we don't serve food.

What do Chinese bears fry dumplings in?

A Pan, Duh!

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs...

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen, "Careful," he said. "Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too many at once. Turn them! Turn them now! Oh my gosh! Where are we going to get more butter? They're going to stick! Careful! I said be careful! You never listen to me when you're cooking! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you crazy? Don't forget to salt them. Use the salt! Use the salt!"
The wife stared at him, "What's wrong? Don't I know how to fry a couple of eggs?"
The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."

A blond walks into a library while talking on her phone.

When she gets to the front desk she says, "I will have two cheese burgers and s large french fry."

The librarian looks and her and says, "ma'am, this is a library."

The blond looks around and sees all of the shelves full of books. She is very embarrassed, hangs up her phone, and leans forward to whisper, "I will have two cheese burgers and a large fry."

A gentleman walks into a library...

A gentleman walks into a library, goes over to the librarian and says, "I'll take a cheeseburger, a medium fry, and a small chocolate shake.". Confused, the librarian replies, "Sir, this is a library!". The gentleman is very embarrassed. He softly whispers, "I'm terribly sorry. I'll take a cheeseburger, a medium fry, and a small chocolate shake.".

Cletus and Ricky make a bet.

Cletus was having an unlucky day fishing at the creek as he spots Ricky walking towards him with a large bag over his shoulder. Cletus asks Ricky "what's in the bag?" Ricky replies that its a bag full of chickens. Cletus, hungry and with no fish to fry, asks Ricky "Say, how about if I guess how many chickens you got in the bag, you let me have one of 'em?" Ricky tells Cletus, "If you can guess how many chickens I got in this bag I'll let you have all five of them."

Don't know why some countries have food problems

If you're Hungary you could pour Greece over Turkey and fry it in Japan.

Favorite song

What's a chinese chef's favorite song?

I believe I can fry.

What do Japanese Pirates do?

Fry Pranes

Stephen Fry broke a world record when he read the entire Harry Potter series live on BBC Radio 4.

Listeners were disappointed that he didn't read it out loud...

I'm glad that baby shark in TX is safe, but I doubt the police will spend a lot of time punishing the thieves.

I figure they'd have bigger fish to fry.

Why didn't one chef listen to the other one speak?

Because he had bigger fish to fry.

A guy pulled up next to me in his Honda on a scorching day....

.... and asked if he could fry and egg on the hood of my black car on a dare.

I looked back at him incredulously and said "Why not do it on your own Accord?"

What do you call someone sunbathing in France?

A french fry.

When I saw Stephen Fry was getting married to a much younger man I wondered what a gay cougar was called.

A pink panther.

What do you get when you grind up Kim Jung Un's junk, mix in some shredded potatoes, ball them up and deep fry them?

dicktator tots

While cooking dinner this happened.

I was making stir fry and opened a bag of peas. One pea gets lose and rolls off the counter. It was like slow motion as I watched it hit floor and roll under the stove. I turned to my wife who also witnessed the incident and said: "We have an escape pea." a laugh

Please read in Steven Wright's voice...

I was driving my friend around and he told me he was hungry. Asked if I'd take him to the drive-thru. I said yes. I pull up to the place and we wait in line for about five minutes. Finally it's our turn. The lady asks how she can help us today and I tell her I need two cheeseburgers, a large fry, and a small Pepsi. She apologizes and says she can't help me.

"Why not?"

"You're at a bank."

What's black and grey and rolls around in the parking lot of a McDonald's?

Mr. T and a pigeon fighting over a french fry.

I know it's old but it always made me laugh.

A blonde enters a library

She goes up to the librarian and says "I will have a Big Mac, large fry and a coke."

The librarian, a bit confused, says "sorry miss, but this is a library."

The blonde is very embarrassed and says "I'm so sorry," and then proceeds to whisper "I will have a Big Mac, large fry and a coke."

Why did the cook fry the shrimp?

because it was throwing a tempura tantrum.

Do you know how to fry toilet paper?

Neither do i....i can only brown one side :)

I used to work at a french fry stand

I was way over quali**fried**

Vocal fry is no joke.

Remember, those people in California are suffering from a drought!

How much lube should you buy to prepare to have sex with a McDonald's fry cook with a cheddar fetish?

About a quart to pound her with cheese.

What did the french fry say to the police officer?

Help me! I've been a-salted!

Why didn't the Futurama crew get along with Bender's friend Arbite?

Because Arbite mocked Fry

What did the Korean fried chicken wing say to the fried chicken leg?

Boy, I wish I could fry.

What can you expect from a bad egg comedian?

He's constantly scrambling to fry and crack you up with some "egg-celent" yolk, but boil boy are they bad.

Have I told you about the time I met Steven Tyler and he taught me how to cook stir fry?

He told me to "wok this way."

What did Till Lindemann say when he was appointed captain of the Planet Express?

"Fire Fry!"

What is a German bomber's favorite type of food?

A french fry!

What do Japanses pirates do?

Fry pranes.

why is it called bacon if you fry it

When I heard of an air fryer that doesnt use any oil I thought there was no way it would actually fry foods

But then I found out it was full of hot air.

Modern food, I just don't get it.

I mean, Japanese-style batter and deep fry, I've no quarrel with that. But then they start applying this to these giant salt-water eels...

*O tempura! O morays!*

If you say "pommes frites" with a croaky voice...

Is that a French fry?

I tried to fry an egg without utensils...

... it didn't pan out.

What did Donald Trump get in his latest deal?

Extra fry sauce.

Did you hear that Snoop Dogg and Sean Connery like to get together twice a month and deep fry various objects?

Fo' shizzle.

What are the funniest fry jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Fry? Well, here are the best Fry puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Fry pick up lines to share with friends.

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