Fruit Salad Jokes
34 fruit salad jokes and hilarious fruit salad puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about fruit salad that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Fruit Salad Short Jokes
Short fruit salad jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The fruit salad humour may include short fruit vegetable jokes also.
- I was reading through the ingredients for a fruit salad I'm making today It said: "Pineapples: five cubed."
I'm not sure though, 125 will probably be too many. - I'm a responsible adult Last night I had a salad for dinner. It was a fruit salad and had grapes. Lots of grapes. It was all grapes. It was wine
- What do you call an antelope who gets sick from the fruit salad the morning of his wedding? A cantelope
Guys I'm so proud of this joke - Knowledge is knowing than a tomato is a fruit, wisdom is knowing you shouldn't put it a fruit salad..... humor is doing it anyway.
- My fruit salad is now all currants. I updated the recipe when I realized I was out of dates.
- Knowledge is knowing Napoleon.. ... was about the average height for his time.
Wisdom is not putting Napoleon in a fruit salad. - Snow White just ate an apple and got a love life And here I am eating a fruit salad and still got nothing
- Women are like fruits, each have their own qualities. But the problem is that men love fruit salad.
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Fruit Salad One Liners
Which fruit salad one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with fruit salad? I can suggest the ones about making a salad and salad.
- I brought a date to the 4th of July party... ...really sweetened up the fruit salad.
- Why didn't the fruit salad get sunburnt? Because it had plenty of melon in.
- What do you call a gay vegan? A fruit salad!
- Knowledge is knowing tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting tomato in a fruit salad.
- What do you get when you cross a sad dog and a fruit salad? A Mellon Collie
- What did the religious salad say to the fruit Lettuce rejoice and be grapeful
- When you make a presidential fruit salad... ...don't forget to add the impeaches.
- Why did the fruit salad go to jail? Assault and bananaery.
- What's in a divorce fruit salad? alemony
- What do you call a gay o**...? A fruit salad
- What do you call a massacre at a g**...-only gladiator arena? A bowl of fruit salad.
Fruit Salad Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about fruit salad you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean fruit and vegetable jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make fruit salad pranks.
"Doctor, I think my wife has a hearing problem. "
A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, I think my wife has a hearing problem. She doesn't seem to hear what ever I tell her."
The doctor replies, "Oh, is that so? Well, let me try to help you. Just try this method when you get home today. Stand around 50 feet from her and ask her something. If she doesn't hear it, reduce the gap by 10 feet and so on till she can hear what you say."
The man satisfied with the reply, hurries home to try this little technique. He stands around 50 feet away from her, and shouts, "Hey honey, what's for dinner today?" He gets no response, so he moves closer and repeats the same question four more times till he's right next to her.
He asks the same question again and she says, "For heaven's sake, this is the fifth time I'm telling you, it's just fruit salad tonight!"
I swear Grandma didn't send this to me on Facebook...
Doctor - so, what did you have for dinner last night?
Patient - I had a fruit salad.
D - only fruit salad? Well, that should help with your cholesterol. And strawberries are very high in...
P - well, it was mostly grapes.
D - mostly?
P - well, all grapes.
D - still, fresh grapes are...
P - they weren't overly fresh. Well, a little older, maybe. Fermented?
D - ...
P - Okay, wine. I had wine for dinner.
Measure of Attributes
Endurance is being able withstand having tomatoes thrown at you
Strength is being able to throw a heavy tomato
Agility is being able to dodge thrown tomatoes
Intelligence is knowing that a tomato is a fruit
Wisdom is knowing not to put a tomato in a fruit salad
Charisma is being able to sell a tomato-based fruit salad.
Paraprosdokians
* Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
* The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.
* Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
* If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
* We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
* War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
* Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
* To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
* I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
* In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, Notify:' I put'DOCTOR'.
* Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are s**....
* You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
* I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.
* To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
* Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
* You're never too old to learn something s**....