Following is our collection of funny Fruit jokes. There are some fruit cherries jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these fruit melon puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
The girls were running trough the city and went into one of those fruit/ vegetables' market to hide, and find 3 bag of potatoes big enough for them to hide inside.
After a while, one cop that is looking for them finds the bags, and realize that they're kind of weird... So he approaches and kicks the first potatoe's bag, with the asian girl inside...
The asian girl, quickly respond the kick with barking noises: ruff ruff
"Oh... These are just a few dogs!", says the cop.
He then approaches to the second potatoe's bag, with the redhead inside, and kicks it as well.
"Meow... Meow", the redhead answers.
"Oh... These are just a few cats!", says the cop.
Finally, he gets close to the third potatoe's bag, with the blondie inside, and kicks it too.
The voice inside the bags respond:
"Potatoes".
BA NA NA NA. BA NA NA NA.
Cantaloupe.
are admiring a painting of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden. The Frenchman says, "They must be French, they're naked and they're eating fruit."
The Englishman replies with, "Clearly they're English. Observe how politely the man is offering the woman the fruit."
The Russian then notes, "They are Russian of course. They have nothing to wear, nothing to eat, and they think they are in paradise."
Ba na na na na na na na na na na na na na grapefruit.
The Frenchman says "they must be French, look at them, they are naked and eating fruit". The Brit says "No, they are English, look how politely the man offers the woman the fruit". The Russian says "You are both wrong, they are Russian. They have nothing to wear, nothing to eat, and think they are in paradise
They come in pears
It said: "Pineapples: five cubed."
I'm not sure though, 125 will probably be too many.
It was a strobbery.
Because it keeps the Doctor away!
Toucan play at that game
You can explore fruit mangoes reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean fruit apples dad jokes. There are also fruit puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
cantelope
Grow a pear.
... from Australia participate in a gameshow on TV. After answering all the questions, there is a tie. So both are given one final assignment. It is to write a poem in three minutes, using the word "Timbuktu". It's a city in Africa.
The priest returns with the fruit of his inspiration:
"I was a father all my life,
I had no children, had no wife,
I read the bible through and through
on my way to Timbuktu ... "
The poem makes a great impression, and the priest smells a sweet victory. But then comes the shepherd, with his poem:
"When Tim and I to Brisbane went
We met three ladies cheap to rent.
But they were three and we were two,
So I booked one and Tim Booked Two ... "
A Cantleope
A chicken walks in to a bar. The bartender says, "What'll be, chicken?"
The chicken says, "I'd like a nice pale ale with some type of a fruit flavor."
The bartender says, "You want the bar across the road."
Q: What do you call a gay man with a vasectomy?
A: Seedless fruit.
A cantelope
Well I certainly couldn't interest her in a date.
Such an underrated fruit.
Fruit of the womb.
Because the sith always comes in pears
...who fell into a coma. We called him Tomato: he was a fruit and a vegetable.
Oranges have thick skin.
Let the downvotes fly, people! You've only got one!
I am not sure if I should call him a fruit or a vegetable
Orange Jews from concentrate
Anybody got a punch line?
One's a soft, hairy fruit and the other's a Kiwi!
Pulp Fiction
One likes men and the other is disabled.
EDIT 2: I apologise if this offends some people. In 2017, you cannot be too careful.
The bartender says, "Pal, If you want punch, you'll have to go stand in line."
The guys looks around, but there is no punch line.
A guy walks into a bar.
the bartender asks, "what can I get you?"
The patron responds, "just a fruit punch for me, I'm driving"
The bartender says, "great, but you have to get in line."
The patron stops and looks around only to reply, "I don't see a punchline..."
A Melon Collie.
...I'll get my coat.
A tomato.
Because they are both a fruit and a vegetable.
... I proved him wrong by growing a pear.
I said people who sell fruit and vegetablesβ are grocer.
They come in pears.
Next week we're going to go on a date
One evening an old farmer went to go down to the pond, as he hasn't been there in a while, he grabbed a five gallon bucket and some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard some voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted at him "we're not coming out until you leave!" The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or get out of the pond naked". Holding the bucket up he said "I'm here to feed the alligator."
An orange a day keeps the plumber away...
Basically if you throw fruit at people they go away.
...that had amazing popularity. It wasn't because of the humor the comedians on stage offered, but due to an extremely delicious fruit punch that the establishment sold. It was so popular that people would gather into a queue around the block just to try the stuff. After a while, however, people stopped coming because of the crowding, and the club went out of business. If only the Joke's punch line wasn't so long...
Is that they usually come in pears
pear
I would visit you every day in the hospital.
Because you can't be a fruit and a vegetable at the same time.
To which the patient replies, "Well what about fruit, can I eat that?"
"No fatty, don't eat anything."
and fruit flies like a banana.
Because they do not have the right to freeze peach.
The process is jarring.
The Frenchman says, They must be French, they're naked and they're eating fruit.
The Englishman says, Clearly, they're English; observe how politely the women is offering fruit to the man.
The Soviet replies, No, they are Russian communists, of course. They have no house, nothing to wear, little to eat, and they think they are in Paradise.
"that's nuts" I replied.
...but Toucan.
I replied with : people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer
Perhaps I should let this mango.
Bartender says "Pal, if you want a punch you'll have to stand in line" Guy looks around, but there is no punch line.
I said people who sell fruit and veg are grocer.
βOn what grounds?
βGrounds? We have two acres at the edge of town with a big lawn and some fruit trees.
βNo, that's not what I meant. Do you have a grudge?
βYes, we've a two car garage but only one car so we use the rest for storage.
^(getting exasperated) βDoes he beat you up?
βNo, I'm up by 6:30 and sometimes he does not get up until after I've left for work.
βWHY DO YOU WANT A DIVORCE?
βWe just can't seem to communicate.
I guess Toucan play that game
Because it had plenty of melon in.
But toucan!
(First post here, hope you like it.)
The mechanic opens up the hood, to find a small fruit bat hanging upside-down in the engine bay. The bat looks up at the mechanic and says "you look nice today mate!", Immediately the mechanic straightens up and says to the car owner "well, that's your problem right there!
Bat flattery"
I thought I know I'll add some fruit and Lemonade....
But now she's sangria than ever...
...really sweetened up the fruit salad.
Pump-kin
Cantaloupe, because it *cantaloupe*
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the fruit strawberries jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working fruit fruit farmer piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.