Following is our collection of funny Fruit And Vegetable jokes. There are some fruit and vegetable tomato jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these fruit and vegetable avocado puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
But people who sell vegetables and fruits are grocer
I said, "people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer."
credits to Adele Cliff, from the Edinburgh Festival Fringe. Link in the comments
The first man was about 4 foot 5 tall and ran a very successful store that sold many fruits and vegetables.
The other man was disgusting. He was covered head to toe in boils and bedsores and smelled awful. He had not ever even seen a bath. He was pretty much the most foul human you could imagine.
Yet the woman wed the second man.
Because no matter how gross you pictured him to be...
The first man was just a little grocer.
I would visit you every day in the hospital.
...who fell into a coma. We called him Tomato: he was a fruit and a vegetable.
He said "prove it."
So I pushed him off the balcony.
Because kids don't like to eat fruits and vegetables.
Because you can't be a fruit and a vegetable at the same time.
I am not sure if I should call him a fruit or a vegetable
A tomato.
Because they are both a fruit and a vegetable.
But he wants to use electricity to turn fruits into vegetables
You can explore fruit and vegetable botanically reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean fruit and vegetable vegetables dad jokes. There are also fruit and vegetable puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
One likes men and the other is disabled.
EDIT 2: I apologise if this offends some people. In 2017, you cannot be too careful.
I replied with : people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer
"So what's your secret, Sir?"
"I once sucked a guy for $ 20"
"No - to your longevity!"
"Oh, fruits and vegetables"
People these days always talk about how disgusting butchers and people who sell meat are, however I've found that people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer.
The girls were running trough the city and went into one of those fruit/ vegetables' market to hide, and find 3 bag of potatoes big enough for them to hide inside.
After a while, one cop that is looking for them finds the bags, and realize that they're kind of weird... So he approaches and kicks the first potatoe's bag, with the asian girl inside...
The asian girl, quickly respond the kick with barking noises: ruff ruff
"Oh... These are just a few dogs!", says the cop.
He then approaches to the second potatoe's bag, with the redhead inside, and kicks it as well.
"Meow... Meow", the redhead answers.
"Oh... These are just a few cats!", says the cop.
Finally, he gets close to the third potatoe's bag, with the blondie inside, and kicks it too.
The voice inside the bags respond:
"Potatoes".
I said to the vegan people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer.
you lobotomize it.
They are both fruits that are kind of like vegetables.
We now sell smoothies
She paused for a few seconds before replying, "(OP), those are vegetables, dummy."
A vegetable can get married
If a gay dude in a wheelchair can be both, why can't a tomato.
Lettuce be grape friends.
The Canadian says "Man, you wouldn't believe this dumb American redneck trying to cross the border. I ask him 'Do you have any weapons, son?' and the kid says "Sure, whatcha need?'"
The American scoffs. "I got you beat. About three weeks ago, this dumb Canadian punk comes down. I ask him 'Are you carrying any fruits or vegetables?' The kid thinks for a second and says 'Is marijuana a vegetable?'"
Now he's both a fruit *and* a vegetable.
Because it was cantaloupe.
Me: Hi, are these carrots genetically modified?
Clerk: No, why do you ask?
Carrot: Yeah, why do you ask?
You break his neck.
because they're seedy.
Fruit flies like the occasional vegetable.
People weren't sure if they should call him a fruit or vegetable farmer.
A brick to the back of his head should do it.
AIDS.
It's the first reported case of a fruit becoming a vegetable.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the fruit and vegetable okra jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working fruit and vegetable dried fruit piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.