Frozen Jokes
161 frozen jokes and hilarious frozen puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about frozen that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for some laughs? Check out this collection of hilarious Frozen jokes, featuring everyone's favorite characters from the hit movie. Nothing is off limits - from Frozen Yogurt, Frozen Food, and Frozen Shoulder to inappropriate Frozen jokes, you're sure to find something that will make you giggle. So don't get too cold, and warm up with some Frozen jokes from Gordon Ramsay.
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Funniest Frozen Short Jokes
Short frozen jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The frozen humour may include short freezing jokes also.
- My pizza is burnt, my beer is frozen and my girlfriend is pregnant... ...I can't pull anything out in time!
- What do a pregnant woman, a burnt pizza and frozen beer have in common? A man who didn't take it out in time.
- If you serve your kids frozen pizza or chicken nuggets for tea you are a terrible parent. I don't care how busy you are, find the time to microwave them first at least.
- What does a burnt pizza, a pregnant woman and a frozen beer all have in common? You left it in too long.
- What does a burnt pizza, frozen beer and a pregnant woman all have in common? An idiot who didn't take it out in time.
- In a recent laboratory accident, a technician was frozen to absolute zero but he's 0k now.
- What do a burned pizza, a frozen beer and a pregnant woman have in common? Someone didn't pull out in time
- My friend's a scientist and accidentally chilled his lab rat to absolute zero... At first the rat was just frozen, but he's 0K now.
- Your mind is like Chrome 13 open tabs, 3 frozen. And you don't know where the music is coming from
- An economists left leg is on fire and his right leg is frozen... He says "on average I'm perfectly fine".
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Frozen One Liners
Which frozen one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with frozen? I can suggest the ones about freeze and freezing cold.
- Why were all the computers in the company frozen? Because they let IT go
- Did you hear about the guy that was frozen to absolute zero? He's OK now
- ISIS just frozen water
- I know someone that was frozen to absolute zero once. He was 0K.
- What do you call a frozen camel? Lost
- What do you call a Buddhist monk who meditates in the snow? Fro-zen.
- What movie does Gordon Ramsay hate? Frozen
- Shot my first turkey today. Scared everyone in the frozen meat department.
- Waiter: "Sorry Sir, we don't have any frozen water." Me: "Noice."
- What do you call frozen tears? Eyecicles
- If Darth Vader was frozen in Carbonite He would be Mannaquin Skywalker
- What do you call a frozen dad? A popsicle
- There was a scientist who was frozen to absolute zero. Don't worry, he was 0K.
- I left my earbuds in a cold car last night. All I can hear is Frozen.
- What do you get from a frozen zombie? frost bite. ;D
Frozen Peas Jokes
Here is a list of funny frozen peas jokes and even better frozen peas puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My all time favorite: How do you catch a polar bear? You cut a hole in the ice and line it with frozen peas. Then when the bear goes to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole.
- It was my nieces birthday so I asked her mother what present I should get her. She said 'you can't really go wrong with Frozen stuff'. So I got her a bag of peas.
- How to catch an elephant Dig a hole big enough for an elephant. Fill it with loose ash and cover it with frozen peas as bait. Then when he comes up to take a pea, you kick him in the ash-hole.
- My daughter asks for Frozen stuff for Christmas, so i bought her frozen chips and a packet of peas
- What should I buy for dinner? I see frozen peas are cool this time of year.
..you might say that's a corny joke, but it's really not. It's a pea joke. - All these movie tie-ins are getting on my nerves. This morning in the supermarket they had "Frozen" peas...
- How do you trap a polar bear? 1. Cut a large hole in some ice.
2. Place some frozen peas around the hole.
3. When the polar bear stops to take a pea, run up and kick him in the ice hole. - How do you catch a bear? You dig a hole, and fill it up with ashes. Then you line up frozen peas around the hole.
And when the bear comes to take a pea, you kick him in the ash hole. - A man was found pouring dozens of bags of frozen peas into the grave of his dead wife. He wanted her to rest in peas.
- I was Christmas shopping for a friend's daughter... I asked what she was into and he said "anything Frozen". So, I got her a bag of peas and some pizza rolls.
Frozen Movie Jokes
Here is a list of funny frozen movie jokes and even better frozen movie puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- The lawyer just told us that all of our late grandfather's assets are Frozen. No idea why he bought so many DVDs of the movie.
- After he died, my grandfather's lawyer told us that all of his assets are Frozen. Why he bought hundreds of DVDs of that movie—no one knows.
- Which disney movie does gordon ramsay hate the most? Frozen.
- What is Gordon Ramsay's least favorite movie? Frozen
- Did you hear about the blondes who were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater? They were waiting for "Closed For The Winter" to start.
- What's Gordan Ramsay's favourite movie? Frozen.
- What is the favorite movie of every Walmart Pizzeria chef? Frozen
- I watched the movie Frozen with my four year old daughter My daughter didn't like the part when the girlfriend got her hand stuck to the ski lift at all.
- Why didn't anyone get upset about the Jewish star on the Disney movie Frozen? Because any Jewish princess knows being cold isn't anti-semitic. Its status!
- What's Walt Disney's favorite Disney movie? Frozen
Frozen Food Jokes
Here is a list of funny frozen food jokes and even better frozen food puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How is the United States and frozen food the same? Kim Jong Un doesn't have the technology to nuke either of them.
- A lot a people say I'm a terrible father because I feed the kids frozen food all the time They're wrong, I heat it up first.
- I shot my first turkey today! But for some reason everyone in the frozen food section acted really surprised.
- You know what I do when I get scared by frozen food? Ice cream
- I had to ask for help to reach my favorite TV dinner from the top shelf of the frozen foods aisle. The steaks were too high.
- Made the mistake of biting into some half frozen food Realized that wasn't well thawed out.
- just watched a man get arrested trying to steal frozen food from an indian market instant korma
- What food can still be frozen, but will still burn your tongue? A hot pocket
- Why did the one eyed bird go into a frozen food store Because it was birdseye©
- Shot my first turkey the other day. Scared the c**... outta everyone in the frozen food section!
Disney Frozen Jokes
Here is a list of funny disney frozen jokes and even better disney frozen puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What does Disney have in common with a guy in an outhouse in Chicago? They're both making frozen number two.
- Why did Disney create Moana? Because after watching Frozen, people wanted Mo' Anna.
- Me in winter "I hope Disney doesn't sue me, because my hands are Frozen™."
- Which Disney movie best describes Firefox Quantum? Frozen.
- Disney, Frozen is played out at this point... Let it go!
Frozen Yogurt Jokes
Here is a list of funny frozen yogurt jokes and even better frozen yogurt puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I'm starting a combination Frozen yogurt shop and news stand.. It will be called Froyo Information.
- Why don't you need to get frozen yogurt after your SO gets back from the gym? Because you already have a Sore-bae.
- Why is frozen yogurt better than ice cream? Ice cream ain't got no culture.
- What do they call plastic bags at frozen yogurt shops? FroYo Baggins
Hilarious Fun Frozen Jokes That Will Have You Rolling with Laughter
What funny jokes about frozen you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean frost jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make frozen pranks.
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys for Thanksgiving, but she couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
Wife texts husband on a cold winter morning: "Windows frozen, won't open."
Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and then gently tap edges with hammer."
Wife texts back 10 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now."
My day has been terrible.
Friend: What's wrong?
Me: My beer is frozen, my pizza is burnt, and my girlfriend is pregnant.
Friend: You can't pull anything out on time, can you?
s**... Bank
At a s**... bank one day, a man walks up with a ski mask and a gun. He points the gun at the lady at the desk.
"Sir.. this is a s**... bank.." says the lady.
"I know. Get out three bottles of s**..." he commanded.
So she obeys and takes out three bottles of frozen s**....
"Drink it." says the man.
So she wincingly swallows each gulp until they're all empty. Disgusted she takes a look at the man as he takes off his ski mask and pockets his gun.
"See honey? It's not that hard."
Windows at home frozen
Wife by text to husband at work ............
"Windows at home frozen - what should I do?"
Husband - "spray some de-icer or pour hot water on them"
Wife a few minutes later - "Done that - now computer won't work at all"!
what does a frozen beer, burnt pizza, and pregnant girl all have in common?
they all happened because some d**... didn't pull it out in time.
What do burnt pizza, frozen beer and a pregnant chick have in common?
Some d**... forgot to pull it out in time.
she can't open windows.
On a cold winter morning, while her husband is away on business, a wife has a problem at home and sends a text message to her husband:
Windows frozen, it won't open
Husband texts back:
Pour boiling water over it inside and outside
Five minutes later, wife texts back.
Computer's really s**... up now...
The following text messages were exchanged on a cold winters day.
Wife: Windows frozen.
Husband: Pour some warm water over them.
Wife: Computer completely s**... up now.
What do a burnt pizza, a frozen beer, and a pregnant woman have in common?
In all 3 cases, someone forgot to pull it out.
This guy goes through the checkout line of the grocery store…
and he's got, like, a stack of frozen dinners, a six-pack of beer, a big 'ol bag of chips, and a single roll of toilet paper.
The cute checkout girl says, "Well, I know *you're* single!"
The guy says, "Well, yeah—how'd you guess?"
She says, "You're ugly."
What do a pregnant woman, a burned pizza and a frozen beer have in common?
In all three cases somebody took it out TOO LATE
Frozen 2 dialog:
Anna: I prefer you in leather.
Kristoff: ?
Driving through a blizzard with my dad
At the peak of the snow and ice he got out of the car and put two frozen snakes on the windshield. I asked him what he supposed that would do to help and he said "what's wrong son, Never heard of wind chilled vipers?"
My wife texted me at lunch
"Window's frozen"
"Pour warm water on it, then lightly tap the edges with a hammer and chisel" I replied.
Ten minutes later, she called back.
"We need a new computer now".
What's the difference between chrome and chromium?
Chrome will heat my laptop to 1907 °C and still remain frozen.
Have you heard about the guy who got frozen to the absolute freezing point?
Don't worry, he's 0K now.
My daughter asked for a Frozen blanket
So last night she slept on the balcony
What US city has the dirtiest frozen waffles?
San Diego
What does a burnt pizza, a frozen beer and a pregnant girlfriend have in common?
One d**... who never pulls out in time
My brother and I took our dog to go play on the frozen lake.
But then the ice broke and my dog fell in. I jumped in to save him. Later, I came home and told my mom about how I saved our dog. She said I should've saved my brother instead.
Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are on a frozen lake.
They weren't talking so I decided to go over and break the ice.
On a frosty winter's morning
Wife texts husband on a cold winter's morning:
"Windows frozen, won't open."
Husband texts back:
"Gently pour some lukewarm water over it."
wife writings back 5 minutes after the fact:
"PC is truly spoiled at this point.
I used to be addicted to frozen sandwiches
But I decided to go cold turkey.
Gordon Ramsay walks into a bar...
... and asks for a glass of water with ice. Once his drink is served, he looks at the bartender and asks: "What did you use to make the ice cubes?"
Bartender: "Water."
Ramsay: "Fresh?"
Bartender: "No, frozen."
Ramsay: "Oh for f**...'s sake."
You must be single.
A young woman was shopping at her local supermarket. She puts her items on the conveyer: A toothbrush, toothpaste, a half-gallon of 2% milk and a frozen pizza. The cashier calmly states, "You must be single." The woman looks at her items and back to the cashier, "Wow! How did you know that?" The cashier responds, "Because you you're ugly AF."
Why is it ok for an ice company to commit a fraud?
Because... their assets are already frozen.
Today I bought some frozen waffles, and it said "2 packs inside"
I knew he wasn't dead.
A cop pulls over a couple in a convertible for going way below the speed limit on a highway.
Cop: Are you aware that you were going 17 in a 60 zone?
Driver: No officer, the sign says 17 right there.
Cop: Sir, that's the route sign.
At this point the cop notices that the lady in the passenger seat is frozen in fear, staring forward, and her hair is a mess.
Cop: Sir, is your wife alright?
Driver: Oh, you see, we just got off of i87.
Joke is courtesy of my dad.
I had a frozen apple for breakfast today.
h**....
A guy was checking out at a supermarket with an attractive young clerk.
She scanned the frozen dinners, the beer, the ramen noodles and kept giving him eyes in between each scan.
As she scanned the condoms she looks and him and says, "Single huh?"
He replies, "yea, how'd you know?"
She says, "Because you're ugly."
Did you know? There is a species of frog in Alaska
There is a species of frog in Alaska that freezes during the winter and while frozen, the frog stops breathing, its heart stops beating, its palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy, there's v**... on its sweater already, mom's spaghetti.
Shopping for singles
I went to a small grocery shop. I am on my way to pay and look for a line. I suddenly notice one young and pretty cashier with almost empty line so I go for it. I start to unload my groceries on a tilt. One pack of hard cigarettes, 6 beers, frozen pizza, some bacon and chocolate bars.
The cashier smiles at me and says: ''You are single, right?''
Little shocked I reply with a smile ''Yes... why? Did my selection of grocery gave it away?''
''No, you are ugly as f*c**....''
Two blondes go deep into the frozen woods searching for a Christmas tree...
After hours and hours of sub-zero temperatures, a few close calls with hungry wolves, one blonde turns to the other and says, "Enough is enough! I'm chopping down the next tree I see! I don't care whether it's decorated or not!"
A woman was picking through the frozen turkeys at the local supermarket,
But she was having trouble finding one that was large enough for her family.
She decided to ask the shop assistant, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The shop assistant replied, "No ma'am, they're dead.."
Ancient Rome conquered many lands. The leader of the time decided to tour...
He made it to England where he encountered a type of weather he had never seen before. As the frozen rain fell he asked "what is this?!"
The commander replied "Hail, Cesar".
Cesar replied "Hail! Now, what is this weather?"
...
...
"It's horrible."
"Agree."
I'll give up my thesaurus...
when you pry it from my frosty, frozen, lifeless, stiff extremities.
My son told me a joke and I thought I would share it with you all!
My mom said I couldn't get a frozen yogurt. She said do you think I'm made of money?
Then I said, isn't that what mom stands for?
What do you call a frozen lesbian?
A klondike.
Why did the frozen pizza say no to w**...?
It didn't want to get baked!
Just made that up moments ago
A lot of people believe Walt Disney is cryogenically frozen in the basement of CalArts.
# I personally love this conspiracy theory because it's a wonderful example of suspended animation.
Credit to the greatest animation professor of all time, Mr. Theo Artz of Drexel University.
Prof.X died the other day whilst hooked up to his mind machine.
As a consequence, everyone on earth was frozen in time.
It's a terrible condition... Cerebro Pausey
I took my wife to the beach today and now she's mad at me. I thought she wanted to watch me drop frozen waffles along the shore and trick a bunch of communists into eating them.
After all, I could've sworn she said her dream was to see the sandy Eggo c**... con.
What did a burnt pizza, pregnant girl and frozen beer can have in common?
Nobody pulled out it time.
A man and a and his wife are having breakfast
As the wife is reading the newspaper, she comes across a strange article.
It says here that they've found a 12,000 year old skeleton frozen in a glacier, and evidently it's a woman. Now how do you think they knew it was a woman?
The husband replies with:
Well it's simple.
How is it so simple?
It's mouth was still open.
(Dad Joke) You know the best way to catch a polar bear, right?
First, you could have giant hole in the ice at least 20 foot around. Then you take several bags of frozen peas and open them up and spread them all around the whole nice and even.
Then, when the bear comes up to take a pee you kick him in the ice hole.
I'm really worried about my wife and this weather
Ever since it started snowing, she's seemed really depressed. We've had strong, cold winds blowing lately, and freezing rain forming layers of ice over the snow. All she does is stand frozen at the window, staring, and I think she might be depressed.
If this keeps up I might need to let her inside.
I have been frozen to absolute Zero
It was 0k
On a cold winter's morning
Wife texts husband on a cold winter's morning:
"Windows frozen, won't open."
Husband texts back:
"Gently pour some lukewarm water over it."
Wife texts back 5 minutes later:
"Computer is really s**... up now.
Elsa from Frozen is now an adult film actress starring in
Let it grow
Every morning on my way to work, I slip on the frozen newspaper on my front step.
I have fallen on some hard Times.
How do you warm up a frozen cowboy?
Yee thaw!
Outside the pharmacy in a busy street, a poor man is clutching into a pole for dear life, not breathing, not moving, not twitching a muscle just standing there, frozen.
The pharmacist goes up to his assistant and asks: What's the matter with that guy? Wasn't he in here earlier?
Assistant replies: Yes he was. He had the most terrible cough and none of my prescriptions seemed to help.
Pharmacist says: He seems to be fine now.
Assistant replies: Sure, he does. I gave him a box of the strongest laxatives on the market. Now he won't dare cough!
Why is Texas like the Titanic
They both thought they were amazing until a tiny bit of frozen water broken them in half
What does a burnt pizza, a pregnant woman, and a frozen beer have in common
Somewhere along the line someone forgot to pull it out
What's the difference between taxes and Texas?
At no point have my taxes ever been frozen.
Most people don't believe me, but I can promise you that I made clothing from frozen water.
Ice wear.
My pizza is burnt, my beer is frozen, and my girlfriend is pregnant.
It seems like I can't take anything out in time.
