frozen Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious frozen puns

While picking up a turkey for this Thanksgiving, I overheard this gem.

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys, but she couldn't find one big enough for her family.

She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"

The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

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Wife texts husband on a cold winter morning: "Windows frozen, won't open."

Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and then gently tap edges with hammer."

Wife texts back 10 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now."

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My pizza is burnt, my beer is frozen and my girlfriend is pregnant...

...I can't pull anything out in time!

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At the grocery store, I went to the checkout line with the cute cashier...

I started unloading my groceries onto the belt.

Package of Ramen noodles.
Quart of milk.
Half a dozen eggs.
A couple of frozen dinners.

As she is scanning the items, she looks up and smiles, "so, you're single, huh?"

I look at my groceries and smile back. "Yeah, ha, what gave it away?"

"Because you're fucking ugly."

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What's Gordon Ramsay's favorite movie?

IT'S FUCKING FROZEN

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On a cold winter's morning

Wife texts husband on a cold winter's morning:

"Windows frozen, won't open."



Husband texts back:

"Gently pour some lukewarm water over it."



Wife texts back 5 minutes later:



"Computer is really screwed up now.

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Gordon Ramsay walks into a bar...

... and asks for a glass of water with ice. Once his drink is served, he looks at the bartender and asks: "What did you use to make the ice cubes?"

Bartender: "Water."

Ramsay: "Fresh?"

Bartender: "No, frozen."

Ramsay: "Oh for fuck's sake."

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Wife texts husband on a cold winters morning:

Wife texts husband on a cold winters morning:
"Windows frozen."
Husband texts back:
"Pour some lukewarm water over it."
Wife texts back 5 mins later:
"Computer completely fucked now."

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What do a pregnant woman, a burnt pizza and frozen beer have in common?

A man who didn't take it out in time.

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What does a burnt pizza, a frozen beer and a pregnant girlfriend have in common?

One dumbass who never pulls out in time

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All this 'Frozen' merchandise is just getting ridiculous.

I was at the supermarket earlier and they've now got a whole bloody aisle just for Frozen stuff.

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Wife texts husband on a cold winter morning: Windows frozen, won't open.

Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and then gently tap the edges with a hammer."

Wife texts back 10 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now."

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My pizza is burnt, my beer is frozen and my girlfriend is pregnant.

I can't take anything out in time.

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What is Gordon Ramsey's least favourite movie?

it's fucking **FROZEN**

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Shot my first turkey today.

Scared the shit out of everyone in the frozen foods section.

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What does a burnt pizza, a pregnant woman and a frozen beer all have in common?

You left it in too long.

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A wife texts her husband

"Windows frozen"

"Pour some hot water over it" he replies.

"Computer completely fucked now"

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Why were all the computers in the company frozen?

Because they let IT go

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What does a burned pizza, a frozen beer, and a pregnant woman have in common?

An idiot who forgot to take it out on time.

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Sperm Bank

At a sperm bank one day, a man walks up with a ski mask and a gun. He points the gun at the lady at the desk.
"Sir.. this is a sperm bank.." says the lady.
"I know. Get out three bottles of sperm" he commanded.
So she obeys and takes out three bottles of frozen sperm.
"Drink it." says the man.

So she wincingly swallows each gulp until they're all empty. Disgusted she takes a look at the man as he takes off his ski mask and pockets his gun.

"See honey? It's not that hard."

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she can't open windows.

On a cold winter morning, while her husband is away on business, a wife has a problem at home and sends a text message to her husband:

Windows frozen, it won't open


Husband texts back:
Pour boiling water over it inside and outside


Five minutes later, wife texts back.


Computer's really screwed up now...

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A woman is checking out at the grocer ...

She places 1 whole frozen chicken, 1 gallon of whole milk, and 1 dozen eggs onto the check-out counter.

The clerk looks over her items and says: "Chicken, milk, and eggs ... I bet you're single, ma'am."

"That's amazing!" says the woman. "How could you tell that just from my groceries?"

The clerk responds, "Well, you're fucking ugly."

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I shot my first turkey today.

Scared the shit out of everyone in the frozen food aisle.

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A woman is out buying groceries...

She buys one apple, one banana, one small milk, a frozen meal for one and one cup of instant noodles. The cashier looks at her and says "So, I suppose you're single?" The woman looks away, blushing, and answers "Yes I am. How did you know?" The cashier replies "Because you are fucking ugly."

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My wife texted me while I was at work this cold winter morning, "Windows frozen."

I texted back, "Pour some lukewarm water over it."

She replied, "Computer completely fucked now."

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Did you hear about the guy that was frozen to absolute zero?

He's OK now

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My friend's a scientist and accidentally chilled his lab rat to absolute zero...

At first the rat was just frozen, but he's 0K now.

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Wife texts husband, "Windows frozen, won't open."

Husband replies, "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it
and gently tap edges with hammer."

Wife sends back 5 minutes later, "Computer is really messed up now."

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My son told me a joke and I thought I would share it with you all!

My mom said I couldn't get a frozen yogurt. She said do you think I'm made of money?
Then I said, isn't that what mom stands for?

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what does a frozen beer, burnt pizza, and pregnant girl all have in common?

they all happened because some dumbass didn't pull it out in time.

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ISIS just frozen water

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What's a pregnant woman, a frozen beer, and a burnt pizza have in common?

Some moron didn't pull it out.

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The following text messages were exchanged on a cold winters day.

Wife: Windows frozen.
Husband: Pour some warm water over them.
Wife: Computer completely screwed up now.

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Just caught an Alien in the freezer masturbating into a packet of frozen veg!

"What the fuck are you doing?" I shouted.

"Please don't hurt me." He replied. "I cum in peas."

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I took my wife to the beach today and now she's mad at me. I thought she wanted to watch me drop frozen waffles along the shore and trick a bunch of communists into eating them.

After all, I could've sworn she said her dream was to see the sandy Eggo commie con.

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What are the most funny Frozen jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Frozen? Well, here are the best Frozen dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Frozen pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes