A little blue bird was flying south for the Winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large hay field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and took a dump on him. As the frozen blue bird lay there in the heap of steaming pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you are in deep shit, it is best to keep your mouth shut!
A young woman was shopping at her local supermarket. She puts her items on the conveyer: A toothbrush, toothpaste, a half-gallon of 2% milk and a frozen pizza. The cashier calmly states, "You must be single." The woman looks at her items and back to the cashier, "Wow! How did you know that?" The cashier responds, "Because you you're ugly AF."
A little bird was flying south for the Winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and shit on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
I knew he wasn't dead.
A woman went into her kitchen to find a burglar loaded down with a bunch of stuff he was stealing from her kitchen. Not having any kind of weapon to scare him off, she raised her hand and said "Acts 2:38," and proceeded to quote scripture.
The burglar froze in place and didn't move. The woman called 911, the police arrived and were amazed to find the burglar still frozen where he stood.
"What did you say to him that kept him from moving?" they asked the woman.
She told them that she had simply said Acts 2:38 and quoted scripture.
The police chuckled and escorted the burglar out to the patrol car. "Why did the woman's quoting scripture scare you so much?" they asked.
"Scripture?" said the burglar, "I thought she said she had an ax and two 38's!"
Anna: I prefer you in leather.
Kristoff: ?
...it was so cold that he froze in midair and fell unto a large field. While the bird was laying there frozen, a cow passed by and promptly took a dump on him. The frozen bird was literally flooding in cow shit, but he began to realize how warm it was. Cow dung was actually thawing him out! The bird started rejoicing and singing in cow shit, until a bird promptly heard him, picked him up, and ate him.
Moral of the story:
1. Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3. When you're stuck in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut.
1. Cut a large hole in some ice.
2. Place some frozen peas around the hole.
3. When the polar bear stops to take a pea, run up and kick him in the ice hole.
..I think they just need to let it go.
My mom's funnies are rare and usually unintentional.
2Fast
2Frozen
Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Frozen 2? Well, here are the best Frozen 2 dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Frozen 2 pick up lines to share with friends.