The Best 66 Froze Jokes
Following is our collection of funniest Froze jokes. There are some froze began jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these froze icicles puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Funny Froze Jokes and Puns
Police dog
One evening, a deputy in the canine division was dispatched to the scene of a possible burglary, where he discovered the back door of a building open. He let the dog out of his patrol car and commanded it to enter and seek. Jumping from the back seat, the dog headed for the building. After lunging through the doorway, the dog froze and backed out. My friend was puzzled until he investigated further. Then he noticed the sign on the building: "Veterinarian's Office."
what does a frozen beer, burnt pizza, and pregnant girl all have in common?
they all happened because some dumbass didn't pull it out in time.
A man died at the drive-in theater
He froze to death seeing "Closed for season".
Two women meet in heaven...
There's these two women meeting for the first time in heaven who's names are Carol and Lydia. Carol leans over and asks Lydia what the cause of her death was. Lydia says, "Well I froze to death. How did you die?" To which Carol replies "I died of a massive heart attack." Very concerned, Lydia asks "What caused the heart attack?" Carol starts then explaining on how she thought her husband was cheating on her. And how she had come home early to catch him in the act but, to her surprise, only found her husband sitting in the den reading a book. But convinced there was another women in the house, she frantically started destroying the house looking for the other women until she was so exhausted that her heart just stopped working. Amazed at the story, Lydia looks at Carol and says, "If you would have looked in the freezer, we'd both still be alive."
I've just been arrested by police investigating match fixing.
They executed search warrants at my home and office, seized my computer, laptop and mobile phone, and froze my bank account.
All I did was go into my local bookies and put a £5 bet on Manchester United to win.
Frozen wasn't that good guys and no one can conince me otherwise
just let it go. let it go
Frozen wasn't that good guys, and no one can convince me otherwise
just let it go. let it go
My blonde girlfriend froze
In the middle of love making so I gave her an interrogative facial expression. " oh..I saw this on youporn" she said," they call it bufferring".
Frozen 2
2Fast
2Frozen
Frozen 2 dialog:
Anna: I prefer you in leather.
Kristoff: ?
Kristoff: Best friend name?
Anna: Probably John...
Kristoff: Eye color ?
Anna: Dreamy ...
Kristoff: Foot size ?
You can explore froze thaw reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean froze ice dad jokes. There are also froze puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
I will stay in this fancy leather for one hour.
I prefer you in leather, anyway.
When I am more mature I will be totally secure.
There is no need to be terrified or tense
I only dream of a time when I'm in my age of prime.
What book are you reading?
Some new Danish author.
Did you know that the Enchanted forest is a place of transformation?
I feel that this forest really changed us all.
A bunch of things happened that I forgot.
And thus, I live, and so do you.
Frozen
"I hate how everyone is obsessing over frozen. They really need to just let it go."
Frozen...
Text Message from Wife:
Windows frozen. Won't Open.
Husband:
Pour lukewarm water on window. Tap gently with hammer to free windows.
Wife:
Computer really messed up now. Nothing works.
What do you get from a frozen zombie?
Frost bite. ;D
My cowboy friends phone froze on gindr the other day
He kept asking "Why can't I quit you"
My wife asked me why I suddenly froze in one position during sex.
I said: "It's a new move I learned from PornHub. It's called 'buffering'."
I know someone that was frozen to absolute zero once.
He was 0K.
My doctor said no more drinking.
so I froze my alcohol into cubes and ate them.
Two Women Talking in Heaven
1 Woman: Hi, Wandal
2 Woman: Hi, Sylvia! How'd you die?
1 Woman: I froze to death.
2 Woman: How horrible!
1 Woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm and sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?
2 Woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. Instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.
1 Woman: So what happened?
2 Woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.
1 Woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer-we'd both still be alive.
I froze myself to -273.1 degrees Celcius...
My friends were worried, but I'll be 0K
Did you hear about the blonde who froze to death at the drive in theater?
She went to see Closed for the winter.
What did the frozen scientist say?
"It's fine, I'm 0K"
I had a frozen apple for lunch today
It was hardcore
I froze some paint today.
Now it's just one solid color.
Scientists just froze a man to absolute zero.
He is -273°C.
My wife was struggling to open the freezer
In the end she gave up, and froze to death.
I was worried my watch broke.
It froze for a second.
Did you hear about the chemist that froze himself to absolute zero?
He's 0K now.
Did you hear about the scientist that froze himself to absolute zero?
He's 0K now.
I had a frozen apple for breakfast today.
Hardcore.
Why did the blonde put her laptop in the microwave?
Because Windows froze on startup.
I froze myself to -273.1°C
..my friends and family are worried, but I'll be 0K
I froze myself to -210 degrees Celsius
It was beyond cool
My friend froze himself to -273.16° C
I thought he was gonna die
But he was 0K.
Did you hear about the guy who froze to absolute zero?
He's 0k now
If you think you've hit rock bottom, just remember that my bank...
once froze my accounts because I bought a healthy ready meal at my local supermarket, and they classed it as an "uncharacteristic purchase"
It was really cold here, I almost froze to death, but it doesn't matter.
A fiery demon, clad in sleigh bells, entered the chamber.
Gandalf immediately froze in fear. It was what he had feared since entering Moria.
With each horrific step, the bells jangled damnation.
That's the jingle bell, muttered Gandalf.
Step.
That's the jingle bell.
Step.
That's the jingle Balrog.
What would you do if you cracked an egg for breakfast and a mouse came out and then time froze and God came down and said to forget what you saw or else?
Two women are talking in Heaven
One woman asked the other, "how did you die?" The woman replied, "I froze to death." She asked the same question to the other woman, she replied, "I suspected that my husband was cheating on me and looked everywhere in my house for evidence. I couldn't find anything and I dropped dead from exhaustion." The other woman replied "maybe if you had checked the freezer we would both be alive."
If frozen water is Iced water , what is frozen ink?
Iced Ink
What did the blonde do with the boiling water?
Froze it - you never know when you're going to need boiling water.
Why is frozen yogurt better than ice cream?
Ice cream ain't got no culture.
Yesterday I froze myself to -273.15°
And you know what?
I was 0K :)
Why did the frozen pizza say no to weed?
It didn't want to get baked!
Just made that up moments ago
What did the frozen desert say to his girlfriend after the gym
I'm sore Bae
To all fellow time travelers
There's a greater possibility that if a girl looks at me she might feel as if time froze.
Not because I'm too attractive, it's just I sit idle, doing nothing.
Why don't you need to get frozen yogurt after your SO gets back from the gym?
Because you already have a Sore-bae.
My son said all he wanted for Christmas was "cold-hard cash."
So I froze his bank account.
A young woman reportedly froze to death.
Her boyfriend had repeatedly warned her it was cold outside.
Two blondes froze to death at the drive-in theater.
They were there to see "Closed for Winter."
There was a frozen ball of ice hurdling towards the earth.
Scientists had first guessed it was too small to do much damage.
Later, they reassessed and realized this collision would be on par with the impact that wiped out the dinosaurs.
It was an underrated comet.
A chemist froze himself at-273C
Everyone said he was crazy. But he was 0K
Bob's friend was scuba-diving, and then froze to death. He asked eveeyone who was monitoring him at the time...
...and was told that the last mesage received from him, just seconds before, was that he was ''Ok''. He asked to see the message itself. After about a minute of examining, he exclaimed in anger, ''You morons, he said he was at 0°K!''
I have been frozen to absolute Zero
It was 0k
How did the frozen chicken cross the road?
In a shopping bag
Jane and Erica are talking in heaven
"How did you die?" Jane asks Erica.
She replies, "I froze to death."
"Oh, that's terrible!" says Jane.
"It wasn't too bad, after a while you start to get a sort of peaceful feeling, just before you black out. How did you die?"
"Well," she says, "I suspected my husband was cheating so one day I came home early to catch him, but he was just watching TV. So I turned the entire house upside-down looking for another girl, and in the end I got a massive heart attack from exhaustion."
"Too bad you didnt look in the freezer," said Erica, "Or we might both still be alive."
The owner of dulux paints died today, he froze to death atop a mountain
Police report states he could of done with another coat.
A chemist froze himself at -273.15°C. Everyone said he was crazy..
..But he was 0K
An atheist is walking along the bank of Loch Ness, suddenly, out of the depths appears Nessie.
She snatched the atheist up in her jaws and threw her head back, throwing thim up in the air. Just before the atheist fell into Nessie's jaws he cries out
"Oh god help me!"
Amazingly, time froze and God appeared next to the atheist. God asked:
"My son, all your life you have forsaken me, why now do you call upon me?"
The atheist responded with: "Give me a break, I didn't believe in the Loch Ness monster five minutes ago either!"
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the froze freezer jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working froze frosty piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.