Front Paws Jokes
10 front paws jokes and hilarious front paws puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about front paws that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Share These Front Paws Jokes With Friends
Share Hilarious Front Paws Jokes and Enjoy Unforgettable Laughter
What is a good front paws joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Little Johnny saw two dogs having s**... in the park...
... so he asks his mother what's going on.
The mom isn't ready to have "that talk" yet, so she makes up a story. "Well, Johnny," she says, "the d**... in the back hurt its front paws, so the one in the front is helping him get home."
Johnny thinks about that for a moment and then says, "Wow, so dogs are just like people, aren't they?"
The mom is puzzled by that. "What do you mean, Johnny?"
"Well," says Johnnie, "you try to help someone and you just end up getting s**...."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
helpful dog
A man and his son come across two dogs h**.... The son says, "Dad, what are those dogs doing?"
His father replies, "Well, the dog on top must have hurt his two front paws, and that dog on the bottom is helping him home."
The son says, "It just figures -- you try to help someone out, and they screw you."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Sore Paws
Little Johnny calls his dad, 'Dad those two dogs over there, why is the one at the front giving the one at the back a ride?'
'Errr, hmm, well son, the one at the back has saw front paws, so the one at the front is giving him a lift home'
'It's always the same innit dad'
'What's that son?'
'You try and help someone out, you end up getting f**...!'
I just realized I've been missing all the front page posts about animal shelters.
It must be this paw pup blocker I've installed
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I once f**... in the woods
Then i saw a grizzly walking with his paw in front of his nose.
I think He couldn't bear the smell
It was a typical night at a saloon in the Old West
The ranchers and townsmen were inside, drinking beer and having a good time. Some played poker, others watched the dancing girls, and music from the piano played in the background.
Suddenly, the saloon doors burst open and slammed against the walls. Everyone was startled, and the entire saloon got deathly quiet as everyone looked at the entrance.
In came a dog, walking on its hind legs, and its left front leg was in a sling.
The dog eyed the place over and said, "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man walking his son in the park comes across two dogs h**....
The son turns to his dad and asks, "Dad, what are those dogs doing?"
The dad, thinking he should wait for his son to get a bit older, says
"Son, I'm about to teach you a very important thing about life. You see that dog on top? Well his two front paws are hurt and that dog on the bottom is helping him home."
The son turns to his father and says, "You're right dad, that is a very important thing in life to learn."
The dad asks, "Do you know why that is, son?"
The son replies, "Because every time you try to help someone out, you always get s**...."
A man goes out for a walk in the woods.
Suddenly, he sees something out of the corner of his eye. He starts walking closer, curious, when all of a sudden, a huge mound of fur jumps in front of him.
It's a grizzly bear.
Absolutely terrified, the man thinks to himself, 'Welp, time to pray.' But what to pray for?
Suddenly, a brilliant idea comes to him.
"Dear God, please make this bear a Christian. Christians can't kill people."
A second later, the bear drops to its knees, and puts its paws together in a manner akin to praying, and growls. "Dear Lord, I thank you for this meal I am about to receive."
The dead duck.
A not-so-bright farmer brings his dead duck to a vet, asking for treatment. The vet takes one look and says, "I'm sorry, but that duck is dead." The farmer asks if they can do some tests to make sure. The vet agrees and whistles, summoning a black lab. the dog puts its front paws on the table and sniffs for a moment, then walks out of the room, whining with its tail between its legs. The vet again says, "I'm sorry, but that duck is dead." The farmer asks for one more test, and the vet whistles one more time. This time, a tabby cat scampers in and leaps onto the table, and walks around the duck, before exiting like the dog. The vet says "Unfortunately the duck is 100% dead sir. I'm sorry for your loss. That'll be $1500." "WHAT?!?!?!" exclaims the farmer. The vet explained, "Well Lab tests and CAT scans aren't cheap…"
A guy walks into a bar with his dog . . . (VT-UVA)
A guy walks into a bar to watch the Tech-UVA game and has his dog with him.
He asks the bartender if the dog can be in there with him. Why in the world should I allow that? asks the bartender.
Well, when the Hokies score he'll stand on his back legs and walk down the bar and back on just two feet. And when UVA scores, he'll walk on his front paws all the way across the bar, and back.
That's pretty impressive, notes the bartender.
Oh, that's nothing, when Tech wins, he'll do back flips down the length of the bar and back, the owner proudly proclaims.
What will he do when UVA wins? asks the bartender.
Dunno, he's only 8 years old.
Share These Front Paws Jokes With Friends