A man stands in front of a food truck and reads the menu:
"Cheeseburgers: $5
Fries: $3
Handjobs: $10."
He walks up to the window and asks the beautiful blonde working behind the counter, "Are you the one that gives the handjobs?"
"Yes, I am," she replies seductively.
"Well, wash your hands, I want a cheeseburger."
Or she hasn't spotted you in the tree yet
Since she can't even beat an egg
Is it high-jacking or weed-whacking?
She said "it's my husband!. Quick, try the backdoor!"
Thinking back, I really should have ran but you don't get offers like that every day.
Apparently you're not allowed to nudge the nearest co-worker and say, "get a load of this guy" every time someone walks in.
God:"You already know you're going to hell, but before that I'll give you one wish."
Hitler:"Alright, let me kill 10 million Jews and one Swedish man."
God:"Why the Swedish man?"
Hitler:"I knew you didn't give a fuck about the Jews."
Which was ironic since we were at a bus stop
But to others, it's a whole sentence
Almost on Monday
Almost on Tuesday
Almost on Wednesday
Almost on Thursday
Almost on Friday
Almost on Saturday
Almost on Sunday.!
But if you run behind the car you'll get exhausted
Einstein is it, closes his eyes, counts to 10 then opens them.
Pascal is no where to be seen. Newton is sitting right in front of Einstein, with a piece of chalk in his hand. He's sitting in a square drawn on the ground, a meter to a side.
Einstein says Newton, you're terrible, I've found you! Newton says No no, Einy. You've found one Newton per square meter. You've found Pascal!
Pay for the pizza!
The front row of a Neo nazi rally.
I almost cried when I took the ring back, gave her back to her father, moonwalked out of the church, and went away, free.
Wow: I made it to front page! Thanks guys!
When he enters, the woman at the front desk stops him, and says, "Sorry, we don't allow blacks in here. But there's another club 10 minutes down the road that does."
Visibly furious, Bolt exclaims, "Do you know who I am? I'm Usain Bolt!"
"Oh! I'm sorry", says the woman. "Then it's only 5 minutes down the road."
A family walks into a hotel and the father goes to the front desk and says "I hope the porn is disabled." The guy at the desk replies. "It's just regular porn you sick fuck."
A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." She replies, "if your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room no 99.
So, I sprinted to the car, paced down the street, rushed into the store, frantically looking down each aisle until I finally got to the tampons, hurried back to my car and raced home as fast as I could! I burst in through the front door, ran up the stairs, slammed open the bathroom door and shouted, "Walmart, halfway down aisle 10, bottom shelf!"
A little girl is riding along the highway with her mom.
When suddenly a dildo falls off the truck in front of them and hits the windshield
The little girl asks: *Mommy, what was that?*
The mom, not wanting her little girl to know about sex yet, answers: *It was just a bug honey.*
The little girl sits quitely for a while, before exclaiming: *It sure had a big dick.*
... it'd be a shame if somebody put an 's' at the front and an 'e' at the end.
He disappeared without a tres.
On an unrelated note, I suck at darts.
There was a short line. There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yuan for dollars. It was obvious she was a little irritated.
She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hundred dollar for yuan. Today I only get hundred eighty? Why it change?"
The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations.
The Asian lady says, "Fluck you white people too!"
So I turned it into wine. I bought wine.
One man in the crowd then yelled "Yes, but is it the Catholic god you don't believe in or the Protestant one?"
(Wow this exploded. Front... *wow*. Gotta say, I like the (current) top comment's version more.)
The front row of a Toby Keith concert.
Guess who got the front porch repainted.
His ears.
Oooo! I get to say it! "Front page?! Wow! Thanks y'all!" Oh yea, and "RIP my inbox"
Good times!
"What's been going on John?"' I asked.
"Fucking kids," came his mumbled reply.
Dirty bastard.
My bosses tie
took me back to her house where things got hot and heavy very quickly.
I bent her over the kitchen table and started going at it when suddenly we heard the front door open.
Oh shit , it's my boyfriend ! she exclaimed Quick, use the backdoor .
Now it's at about this time I probably should have left.....
......but you just don't get an offer like that every day.
For a class project, a college professor asks all of his students to brainstorm and yell out different kinds of stereotypes.
"All blonde girls are dumb!" yells a boy in the back.
"Sony!" Yells the blonde girl in the front.
Just like one of his characters.
(If this trash of a post hit the front page, the title could really mess with some GoT fans, I'm just saying)
An Apocaclipse.
Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Front? Well, here are the best Front dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Front pick up lines to share with friends.