Frogs Jokes
118 frogs jokes and hilarious frogs puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about frogs that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for a good giggle? Then check out this collection of hilarious frog jokes! From jokes about frogs legs to references to creatures like Kermit the Frog, these wisecracks are sure to have you croaking with laughter!
Funniest Frogs Short Jokes
Short frogs jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The frogs humour may include short frog and toad jokes also.
- What do kermit the Frog and Henry the Eighth have in common? They share the same middle name.
- A little girl asks her grandad... "Would you make a frog noise for me?"
The grandad, confused asks, "why?"
The little girl replies, "dad says when you croak we are all going to disneyland". - If you have have a small green ball in one hand and another small green ball in the other, what do you have? Kermit the Frog's full attention.
- Boy: Grandpa! Grandpa! Make a noise like a frog! Grandpa: Why would I do that?
Boy: I heard mum telling dad, "We'll move to a bigger house once your father croaks." - A little boy asks grandpa to make a noise like a frog. Grandpa asks why? Because mummy said the moment you croak is when we're all going to Disneyland!
- Some species of frog can jump higher than a 3-story office building. It's because of their immensely powerful hind legs, and the fact that office buildings cannot jump.
- Scientists tested a frog. They cut off its legs and said "jump!"
The frog didn't jump.
Scientists therefore concluded that when frogs lose their legs, they become deaf. - Little girl: "Grandma, make a noise like a frog." Grandma: "Why?" Little girl: "Cause daddy says we'll make a lot of money when you croak."
- Little girl goes to her grandpa.. "Grandpa, make a noise like a frog."
Grandpa asks, "why?"
"Cause daddy says we'll make a lot of money when you croak." - What happens when a frog's car dies? He needs a jump. If that doesn't work he has to get it toad...
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Frogs One Liners
Which frogs one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with frogs? I can suggest the ones about kissing frog and kermit frog.
- Frog DNA... A frog got his DNA test back.
He's part Scottish, part Irish and a tad Pole. - A frog decided to trace his genealogy one day... He discovered he was a tad Polish.
- What is green but turns red when you push the button A frog in a blender
- A frog took a DNA test The results said he was 20% British, 30% French and a tad Pole.
- What does a perverted frog say? Rub it, rub it
- What did one lesbian frog say to the other lesbian frog? RUB-IT RUB-IT!
- What happened to the Frog when he wrecked his car? He got TOAD!
- What does a socially awkward and depressed frog say? Reddit.!
- What happened to the frog who parked illegally? he got toad
- What kind of shoes do Frogs wear? Open toad sandals...
I'll show myself out - thank you - What is green and smells like a pig? Kermit the frog's finger
- What happens when you double park your frogs? They get toad!
- What happens when a frogs car breaks down? IT GETS TOAD!
- What happens when frogs park illegally? They get toad.
- What's a frog's favorite springtime sport? Lily-pad-leboarding!
Frogs Legs Jokes
Here is a list of funny frogs legs jokes and even better frogs legs puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My son's pet frog broke his leg yesterday He was very unhoppy...
- Did you hear about the frog who got his legs cut of? He was Un-Hoppy
- Yesterday, i saw a frog without legs that's hopless
- A man sits down at a restaurant, when the waiter approaches to take his order. The customer asks, "Do you have frog legs?"
The waiter replies, "No sir, that's just how I walk." - What do you call bacon wrapped frog legs? The Muppets
- Why do people in France have to eat frog legs that "taste like chicken"? If they eat real chicken they'll be arrested for cannibalism.
- How do you detach frogs leg You Ribbit
- I went into a French restaurant and asked the waitress... 'Have you got frog's legs?'
She said, 'No, my jeans are just a bit tight.' - I was at a french restaurant and I asked the waitress if she had frog legs... She said "Yes," so I said "Wear long pants, they'll never know!"
- What do frogs order at a fast food chain? French flies
Mcribbit
Chicken leg
Frogs Pets Jokes
Here is a list of funny frogs pets jokes and even better frogs pets puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My friend told me a story about his pet frog It was ribbiting.
- I stabbed my pet frog with a knife He croaked
Laughable Frogs Jokes for Instant Grins & Giggles
What funny jokes about frogs you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean frog wishes jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make frogs pranks.
What do frogs do when they are depressed?
They Kermit s**....
Sadly..
..some frogs have been known to Kermit s**...
the three legged pig joke reminded me of a joke my dad once told me
a scientist was doing an experiment on a frog in his lab, he placed the frog down on the floor and said "Frog jump!". the frog jumped 4 feet and so he noted in his notebook
"frog with 4 legs, jumps 4 feet"
he then cut off one of the frogs legs and again said "Frog jump!". the frog jumped only 3 feet this time and so he noted in his notebook
"frog with 3 legs, jumps 3 feet"
he cut off a 2nd leg and said "Frog jump!". this time the frog only jumped 2 feet and so he noted
"frog with 2 legs, jumps 2 feet"
he then cut off a 3rd leg and again said "Frog jump!". the frog only jumped a foot and so he noted
"frog with 1 leg, jumps 1 foot"
the scientist then cut off the frogs last remaining leg and said "Frog jump!, Frog jump!, FROG JUMP!!!!!" but the frog did not move. so he noted
"frog with 0 legs, deaf"
What do you call an awesome internet site for frogs?
Rebbit.
What do frogs eat with their hamburgers?
French Flies
What happened to the frogs car?
It was toad.
Two biologists are discussing a new book on amphibians...
Biologist 1: What did you think of the chapter on frogs?
Biologist 2: Oh it was quite ribbiting.
Horrible joke I made up as a kid
Why are frogs on the endangered species list?
Because they croak a lot!
Why don't frogs use screws?
Because they prefer rrrrrivets.
*been using lots of rivets on a project lately when I came up with this awful dad-style joke. But I'm 40 and a dad so I'm a fully-licensed dad joker ."*
What kind of drugs to frogs take?
methamphibians.
What do frogs say?
Times fun when you're having flies
whats a frogs favorite type of metal joining practice?
A rivet
Why are frogs happy?
Because they eat what bugs them..
Source: 3rd grader told me this joke..
Having to explain a joke is like dissecting a frog
Sure, everyone will understand it a bit better; but the frogs never quiet the same.
What do frogs deal?
Croakaine
There are five frogs staring at me right now
but only one can be America's top model.
I read a book about frogs today...
It was ribbeting.
How do frogs die?
They kermit sucide
Did you hear about the play with all the frogs?
It was ribbitting.
A group of scientists run an experiment on a frog
They teach it to jump on command by using flies as treats. Now when they say "Jump" the frog jumps.
Then they chop off one leg. They say "Jump" and the frog jumps in a crooked path. So far so good.
Finally, they chop off the other leg. They say "Jump" and the frog does not jump.
It has been concluded that frogs cannot hear without their legs.
Why are jokes like frogs?
You can dissect them and explain why they work, but then they don't work anymore.
I saw a documentary on frogs the other day...
It was ribbeting.
Watched a documentary on frogs today
It was ribbitting
quebec, Canada is currently experiencing record breaking flooding
It's a good thing frogs can swim
What kind of calculus do frogs use?
Der - ribbit - tives
What kind of condoms do frogs use?
"Ribbed"
Do you know where frogs come from?
They're German, Russian and a tad Polish
Whats a frogs favourite drink?
Croaka Cola.
I think frogs are pretty boring
Unless, of course, they're ribbiting.
Why are frogs so good at s**...?
Because they're ribbited for her pleasure
What type of sandals do frogs wear?
Open-toad!
I read a book about frogs.
It was very ribbeting.
Why do frogs like IPAs so much?
Cause of all the hops
Why are all the frogs around here dead?
'Cause they keep croaking!
What's green and smells of pork?
Kermit the frogs fingers.
What do frogs eat in Paris?
French Flies
Why can't mechanic frogs stay quiet on the job?
Because they need to rivet.
What do you call a group of strange frogs carrying swords that are found in the forest?
The knights who say ree
A man was driving across country, when suddenly he saw a hitchhiker.
He picked her up and while they were driving the two of them got talking.
"What do you do?", asked the man.
"I'm a witch", said the hitchhiker.
"One of those, spells, potions and turn people into frogs kind of witches?"
"That's the one".
"Oh yeah? Can you show me?"
She started s**... his inner thigh.
Just like that, the man turned into a hotel.
Apparently they make s**... toys based on frogs
They're ribbited for your pleasure
Why are frogs always happy?
They eat whatever bugs them
how do frogs kill themselves?
They kermit s**...
Only one in four frogs
is a leap frog...
What health ailment do elderly frogs suffer from?
Ribbit-toad arthritis
I'll see myself out...
What water does Alex Jones drink?
The same water the gay frogs drink
A group of scientists conducted an interesting experiment on frogs.
They wanted to see how cutting off the legs of frogs would affect them.
In one of the experiments, a scientist told the frog to jump. It didn't.
The scientists concluded that cutting off the legs of frogs would make them deaf.
Frogs don't live that long
They Kermit s**... within a few days
What did the frogs do to the broken car?
They TOAD it away.
Jungle animals started a softball league...
The teams are separated by species.
A colorful long beaked bird, not sure where to go, asked an old monkey umpire, where his team was playing.
He replied, "Mongoose vs snakes are on field 1, ants vs frogs play on field 2..."
"Quit monkeying around", the bird chuckled, "I just want to know which field I'm on."
"Species puns, huh?" he replied, "Well toucan play at that game."
You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince
But apparently only seven before you're banned from that stuck-up aquarium
why are frogs bad at parking?
They always get toad
What do you call four famished frogs fighting for five frightened flies?
A *Tongue Twister*
~~
Why are frogs good baseball players?
Because they're good at catching flies!
Where do frogs keep their money?
In a river bank.
3 frogs get arrested
The first frog goes in and the judge asks him, "What's your name?" "Frog," he replies. "What did you do?" "I was just blowing bubbles in the pond, your honor." With that, the judge lets him go.
The second frog goes in. "What's your name?" asks the judge. "Frog Frog." "What were you doing?" "I was just blowing bubbles in the pond, sir." With that, the judge lets him go.
The third frog comes in. The judge says, "Let me guess, your name is Frog Frog Frog."
The frog says, "No, my name's Bubbles."
What do frogs say when they're m**...?
Rub it. Rub it. Rub it.
Two frogs are sitting by a pond
First frog says *Croak*, Second says *Croak*.
The first says *Croak*, second responds *Croak*.
First shouts *Croak*, second says *Croak*.
First says *Croak*, second says *Croak Croak*
First says "Don't change the topic, man!"
What is long, green and smells like pork?
Kermit the frogs finger
What sounds do frogs make on this site?
Reddit! Reddit! Reddit!
What happens to illegally parked frogs?
They get toad away.
Which shoes do frogs prefer?
Open toad sandals!
What is a subreddit about frogs called?
A subribbit
Scientists have accidentally created immortal frogs
While running experiments, they decided to cut some of the frogs vocal cords.
Ever since then, the frogs just wont croak
What is a frogs favourite drink?
Croakacola
Why do frogs taste similar to beer?
Because of the hops.
Why do frogs taste like beer?
They're full of hops
Why can't frogs ever complete their bucket lists?
They croak before they even get started.
When Kermit the Frogs entertainment career came to an end, he enrolled in seminary school where he was ordained
Now he's a Pastor of Muppets
My 5 year old son told me this one, I am still amazed: What do French Frogs eat?
French Flies
How do you make a c**... for frogs?
Rib it.
What do frogs order at a restaurant?
French flies.
What's a Canadian frogs favorite game to play?
Croak- Eh
Interestingly enough, scientists have discovered a fascinating new species of frog, named the Romulan Pond Frog that has an amazing way of evading predators.
In the press release, scientists showed footage of the frogs using a special call that appeared to disorient predators, leaving them unable to precisely locate the frogs.
Scientists are calling this special call a "croaking device."
A "No parking sign" hangs in front of the swamp
It says, "This Parking Area is for FROGS ONLY. Violators will be toad."
Why do frogs taste like beer?
Because of all the hops
Why are frogs so content?
They eat whatever bugs them.
