The Best 83 Frogs Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Frogs jokes. There are some frogs rubbit jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these frogs kermit the frog puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Frogs Jokes and Puns

What do frogs do when they are depressed?

They Kermit suicide.


..some frogs have been known to Kermit suicide

the three legged pig joke reminded me of a joke my dad once told me

a scientist was doing an experiment on a frog in his lab, he placed the frog down on the floor and said "Frog jump!". the frog jumped 4 feet and so he noted in his notebook

"frog with 4 legs, jumps 4 feet"

he then cut off one of the frogs legs and again said "Frog jump!". the frog jumped only 3 feet this time and so he noted in his notebook

"frog with 3 legs, jumps 3 feet"

he cut off a 2nd leg and said "Frog jump!". this time the frog only jumped 2 feet and so he noted

"frog with 2 legs, jumps 2 feet"

he then cut off a 3rd leg and again said "Frog jump!". the frog only jumped a foot and so he noted

"frog with 1 leg, jumps 1 foot"

the scientist then cut off the frogs last remaining leg and said "Frog jump!, Frog jump!, FROG JUMP!!!!!" but the frog did not move. so he noted

"frog with 0 legs, deaf"

Frogs joke, the three legged pig joke reminded me of a joke my dad once told me

What do you call an awesome internet site for frogs?


What do frogs eat with their hamburgers?

French Flies

What happened to the frogs car?

It was toad.

Two biologists are discussing a new book on amphibians...

Biologist 1: What did you think of the chapter on frogs?

Biologist 2: Oh it was quite ribbiting.

Frogs joke, Two biologists are discussing a new book on amphibians...

Horrible joke I made up as a kid

Why are frogs on the endangered species list?

Because they croak a lot!

What happens when a frogs car breaks down?


Why don't frogs use screws?

Because they prefer rrrrrivets.

*been using lots of rivets on a project lately when I came up with this awful dad-style joke. But I'm 40 and a dad so I'm a fully-licensed dad joker ."*

What do frogs say?

Times fun when you're having flies

You can explore frogs kermitted reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean frogs magic frog dad jokes. There are also frogs puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Why are frogs happy?

Because they eat what bugs them..

Source: 3rd grader told me this joke..

Having to explain a joke is like dissecting a frog

Sure, everyone will understand it a bit better; but the frogs never quiet the same.

What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.

What do frogs deal?


What happens when you double park your frogs?

They get toad!

Frogs joke, What happens when you double park your frogs?

There are five frogs staring at me right now

but only one can be America's top model.

What kind of shoes do Frogs wear?

Open Toad sandals...

I'll show myself out - thank you

I read a book about frogs today...

It was ribbeting.

How do frogs die?

They kermit sucide

How do you detach frogs leg

You Ribbit

Did you hear about the play with all the frogs?

It was ribbitting.

A group of scientists run an experiment on a frog

They teach it to jump on command by using flies as treats. Now when they say "Jump" the frog jumps.

Then they chop off one leg. They say "Jump" and the frog jumps in a crooked path. So far so good.

Finally, they chop off the other leg. They say "Jump" and the frog does not jump.

It has been concluded that frogs cannot hear without their legs.

Why are jokes like frogs?

You can dissect them and explain why they work, but then they don't work anymore.

I saw a documentary on frogs the other day...

It was ribbeting.

Watched a documentary on frogs today

It was ribbitting

Quebec, Canada is currently experiencing record breaking flooding

It's a good thing frogs can swim

What kind of calculus do frogs use?

Der - ribbit - tives

What kind of condoms do frogs use?


Do you know where frogs come from?

They're German, Russian and a tad Polish

Whats a frogs favourite drink?

Croaka Cola.

I think frogs are pretty boring

Unless, of course, they're ribbiting.

Why are frogs so good at sex?

Because they're ribbited for her pleasure

What type of sandals do frogs wear?


I read a book about frogs.

It was very ribbeting.

Why do frogs like IPAs so much?

Cause of all the hops

What's green and smells of pork?

Kermit the frogs fingers.

Scientists tested a frog.

They cut off its legs and said "jump!"

The frog didn't jump.

Scientists therefore concluded that when frogs lose their legs, they become deaf.

What do frogs eat in Paris?

French Flies

Why can't mechanic frogs stay quiet on the job?

Because they need to rivet.

What do you call a group of strange frogs carrying swords that are found in the forest?

The knights who say ree

A man was driving across country, when suddenly he saw a hitchhiker.

He picked her up and while they were driving the two of them got talking.
"What do you do?", asked the man.
"I'm a witch", said the hitchhiker.
"One of those, spells, potions and turn people into frogs kind of witches?"
"That's the one".
"Oh yeah? Can you show me?"
She started stroking his inner thigh.
Just like that, the man turned into a hotel.

Apparently they make sex toys based on frogs

They're ribbited for your pleasure

Why are frogs always happy?

They eat whatever bugs them

how do frogs kill themselves?

They kermit suicide

Only one in four frogs

is a leap frog...

What health ailment do elderly frogs suffer from?

Ribbit-toad arthritis

I'll see myself out...

What water does Alex Jones drink?

The same water the gay frogs drink

A group of scientists conducted an interesting experiment on frogs.

They wanted to see how cutting off the legs of frogs would affect them.

In one of the experiments, a scientist told the frog to jump. It didn't.

The scientists concluded that cutting off the legs of frogs would make them deaf.

Frogs don't live that long

They Kermit suicide within a few days

What did the frogs do to the broken car?

They TOAD it away.

Jungle animals started a softball league...

The teams are separated by species.

A colorful long beaked bird, not sure where to go, asked an old monkey umpire, where his team was playing.

He replied, "Mongoose vs snakes are on field 1, ants vs frogs play on field 2..."

"Quit monkeying around", the bird chuckled, "I just want to know which field I'm on."

"Species puns, huh?" he replied, "Well toucan play at that game."

You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince

But apparently only seven before you're banned from that stuck-up aquarium

why are frogs bad at parking?

They always get toad

What do you call four famished frogs fighting for five frightened flies?

A *Tongue Twister*


Why are frogs good baseball players?

Because they're good at catching flies!

Where do frogs keep their money?

In a river bank.

3 frogs get arrested

The first frog goes in and the judge asks him, "What's your name?" "Frog," he replies. "What did you do?" "I was just blowing bubbles in the pond, your honor." With that, the judge lets him go.
The second frog goes in. "What's your name?" asks the judge. "Frog Frog." "What were you doing?" "I was just blowing bubbles in the pond, sir." With that, the judge lets him go.
The third frog comes in. The judge says, "Let me guess, your name is Frog Frog Frog."
The frog says, "No, my name's Bubbles."

What do frogs say when they're masturbating?

Rub it. Rub it. Rub it.

Two frogs are sitting by a pond

First frog says *Croak*, Second says *Croak*.

The first says *Croak*, second responds *Croak*.

First shouts *Croak*, second says *Croak*.

First says *Croak*, second says *Croak Croak*

First says "Don't change the topic, man!"

What is long, green and smells like pork?

Kermit the frogs finger

What sounds do frogs make on this site?

Reddit! Reddit! Reddit!

Three frogs are sitting on a lily

The first frog goes "Croak"
The second frog says "Croak"
The third frog says "Ribbit"

The first frog pulls out a pistol and shoots the third one. Puzzled the second frog asks why. The first frog puts the pistol away and says "He knew too much"

What happens to illegally parked frogs?

They get toad away.

Which shoes do frogs prefer?

Open toad sandals!

What is a subreddit about frogs called?

A subribbit

Scientists have accidentally created immortal frogs

While running experiments, they decided to cut some of the frogs vocal cords.
Ever since then, the frogs just wont croak

What is a frogs favourite drink?


Why do frogs taste similar to beer?

Because of the hops.

Why do frogs taste like beer?

They're full of hops

Why can't frogs ever complete their bucket lists?

They croak before they even get started.

When Kermit the Frogs entertainment career came to an end, he enrolled in seminary school where he was ordained

Now he's a Pastor of Muppets

My 5 year old son told me this one, I am still amazed: What do French Frogs eat?

French Flies

How do you make a condom for frogs?

Rib it.

What do frogs order at a restaurant?

French flies.

What's a Canadian frogs favorite game to play?

Croak- Eh

Interestingly enough, scientists have discovered a fascinating new species of frog, named the Romulan Pond Frog that has an amazing way of evading predators.

In the press release, scientists showed footage of the frogs using a special call that appeared to disorient predators, leaving them unable to precisely locate the frogs.

Scientists are calling this special call a "croaking device."

A "No parking sign" hangs in front of the swamp

It says, "This Parking Area is for FROGS ONLY. Violators will be toad."

Why do frogs taste like beer?

Because of all the hops

Why are frogs so content?

They eat whatever bugs them.

The biologist

A biologist races into a bar in a celebratory mood. "I've done it!" he shouts to the bartender. "I've engineered immortal frogs!" "How's that?" asks the bartender. "I removed their vocal chords. They can't croak!"

The frog population in the Okeefenokee Swamp was declining...

Biologists determined it was due to the frogs inability to stay coupled while mating. They contacted an organic chemist at MIT who came up with a solution. He mixed some plasticizers with some adhesive and most importantly one part sodium. The concoction worked perfectly and the swamp was soon re-populated with frogs. The biologists wondered why the sodium was so important. The chemist replied: The frogs needed monosodium glutamate

What do you have when you have two green balls in your hand?

Kermit the Frogs undivided attention

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the frogs bull frog jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working frogs frog knock knock piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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