frigid Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious frigid puns

I was watching porn with the missus and she complained, "This is so unrealistic."

I said, "Just because you're unwilling to try new things, doesn't mean everyone's that frigid."

"Not that," she explained, "It's just the plumbers that come to our house have tiny dicks."

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I was watching porn with my girlfriend and she complained, "This is so unrealistic."

I said, "Just because you're unwilling to try new things, doesn't mean everyone's that frigid."

"No it's not that," she exclaimed,
"It's just the plumbers that come to our house have really small dicks."

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A young woman in New York...

... was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean. She went down to the docks and was about to leap into the frigid water when a handsome young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the pier, crying. He took pity on her and said, "Look, you have so much to live for. I'm off to Europe in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day." Moving closer, he slipped his arm around her shoulder and added, "I'll keep you happy, and you'll keep me happy."

The girl nodded yes. After all, what did she have to lose? Perhaps a fresh start in Europe would give her life new meaning.

That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat. From then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit, and they made passionate love until dawn. Three weeks later, during a routine inspection, she was discovered by the captain.

"What are you doing here?" the captain asked.

"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she explained. "I get food and a trip to Europe, and he's screwing me."

"He certainly is," the captain said. "This is the Staten Island Ferry."

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What do you call an Eskimo dwarf with a raging erection?

A frigid midget with a rigid digit

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A young woman in Cape Town was so depressed...

that she decided to end her life by jumping into the ocean. She went down to the docks and was about to leap into the frigid water when a handsome young deck hand saw her tottering on the edge of the pier, crying.

He took pity on her and said, "Look you have a lot to live for. We're off to Europe in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on this ship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food everyday."

Moving closer he slipped his arm around her shoulder and added, " I'll keep you happy and you'll keep me happy, Ok?"

The girl nodded yes. After all what did she have to lose? Maybe a fresh start in Europe would give her life new meaning. That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a life boat.

From then on, the sailor brought her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit, and they made passionate love till dawn. Three weeks later, during a routine inspection, the captain discovered her.

"What are you doing here?" The captain asked. "I have an arrangement with one of the sailors", she explained.

"I get food and a trip to Europe, and he's screwing me."
"He sure is, lady" the captain said.
This is the Robben Island Ferry making trips between Robben Island and the Waterfront.

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What do you call an aroused eskimo dwarf?

A frigid midget with a rigid digit.

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What is the difference between an Eskimo and a eunuch?

One is a frigid midget with a rigid digit, the other is a massive vassal with a passive tassel

(found this in Horace's Satires)

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Taken for a Ride

A young woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean. She went down to the docks and was about to leap into the frigid water when a handsome young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the pier crying. He took pity on her and said, "Look, you've got a lot to live for. I'm off to Europe in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day." Moving closer he slipped his arm round her shoulder and added, "I'll keep you happy, and you'll keep me happy". The girl nodded yes. After all, what did she have to lose? That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat. From then on every night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit, and they made passionate love until dawn. Three weeks later, during a routine inspection, she was discovered by the Captain. "What are you doing here?" the Captain asked. "I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she explained. "I get food and trip to Europe, and he`s screwing me." "He sure is, Lady," the Captain said. "This is the Staten Island Ferry."

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A man burst through the front door of his house angry af.

He shouted at his wife "I've just come from the pub. The mailman was there bragging that he'd had sex with every woman on our street except for one. What do you have to say to that?"

She replied "I bet it's Karen from number 37. I always thought she was a frigid bitch"

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I'm sure my girlfriend's frigid

Every time she opens her legs a light comes on.

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The frigid woman and the lion

There is a competition between a Frenchman, an Englishman and a Russian to determine which country is manliest. They must accomplish two tasks: give an orgasm to a frigid woman, and remove a tooth from the mouth of a lion.

The Frenchman satisfies the woman, gets killed by the a lion. The Englishman bravely fights the lion and gets a tooth, but leaves the woman disappointed.

The Russian empties a bottle of vodka and goes into the lion's cage. A lot of cries and roars are heard, and he comes back all bloodied, but alive and says: Done! Where's the woman whose tooth I have to take out?

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A young woman in New York City was severely depressed...

A young woman in New York City was severely depressed so she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean.

She went down to the docks and was about to leap into the frigid water when a handsome young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the pier crying.

He took pity on her and said,

"Look, you've got a lot to live for. I'm off to Europe in the morning and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day."

Moving closer, he slipped his arm around her shoulder and added,

"I'll keep you happy, and you'll keep me happy."

The girl nodded yes. After all, what did she have to lose? That night, the sailor brought her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit, and they made passionate love until dawn. This continued every night of the trip. Three weeks later, during a routine inspection, she was discovered by the captain.

"What are you doing here?" the Captain asked. "I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she explained.

"I get food and a trip to Europe and he's screwing me."

"He sure is, lady," the Captain said. "This is the Staten Island Ferry."

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I don't think Princess Elsa would be a very good girlfriend,

She seems frigid.

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And... a new joke is born

"Your momma is so frigid that your daddy would get his tongue stuck every time he would try to go down on her. "

I tried searching for this joke but couldn't find it... Did I just invent a new Your momma joke?

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Frigid Wife

I have a friend who says his wife is so frigid that when he finally gets her legs spread, the furnace kicks on.

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did you hear that Frosty broke up with his girlfriend?

i understand....he says she's frigid.....

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My run today was like my last date.

Short, slow, and frigid.

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I'm bisexual and bipolar.

That makes me one frigid fuck.

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Why didn't the rabbit want to mate outside?

Because it was Frigid

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Hear the one about the frigid lady? She loves it doggie style, she just lays there and plays dead.

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You know your girlfriend's frigid...

...if the lights go on when you open her legs.

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Why did the man throw his money into the frigid Alaskan river?

Because he wanted cold hard cash

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"I see," said the blind outdoorsman.

As he fell into a frigid river.

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The emperor penguin mates at temperatures as low as -120 degrees F.

He is a frigid midget with a rigid digit.

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What are the most funny Frigid jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Frigid? Well, here are the best Frigid dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Frigid pick up lines to share with friends.

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