JokoJokes

Fries Jokes

169 fries jokes and hilarious fries puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about fries that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Can't resist a good fry joke? Get your fill of greasy, cheesy jokes about burgers, fries, steaks, and nuggets! Laugh away the day with these delicious and hilarious jokes.

Funniest Fries Short Jokes

Short fries jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The fries humour may include short frying jokes also.

  1. A hungry traveler stopped at a monastery and was taken to the kitchen where a brother was frying chips... "Are you the friar?" he asked.
    The brother replied "No. I'm the chip monk."
  2. McDonald's has paused operations in Russia. They've successfully established a No Fry Zone.
  3. Russia might not celebrate thanksgiving but I'm pretty sure they will be frying a turkey.
  4. McDonalds has decided to close all operations in Russia They're calling it a "no fry" zone.
  5. Went to a diner with a couple I know. They started arguing. Normally, I'm not one to take sides, but they were so distracted by yelling at each other that I stole her fries and his cole slaw...
  6. What's the difference between a guy with an Arts Major, and a guy with a philosophy Major? One will ask WHY you want fries with that!
  7. How do you stop Canadian bacon from curling in the frying pan? You take away their brooms.
  8. A science graduate asks the question why? A science graduate asks the question why?
    An engineering graduate asks the question how?
    An arts graduate asks, "Would you like fries with that?"
  9. I called my wife and said that I'll pick up burger and Fries on the way home from work. I was met with stony silence. I think she's beginning to regret letting me name the twins.
  10. What's the difference between an art student and a philosophy student? A philosophy student asks you *why* you want fries with that.

Share These Fries Jokes With Friends




Fries One Liners

Which fries one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with fries? I can suggest the ones about deep fry and potato chips.

  1. French fries weren't cooked in France. They were cooked in Greece.
  2. Where was the first chicken fried? In Greece.
  3. The first french fries were not cooked on France. They were cooked in Greece.
  4. My bacon kept curling in the frying pan so I took away their little brooms and rocks.
  5. Why is Europe like a frying pan?? They both have Greece at the bottom!!
  6. Chinese Food is amazing but I do find it hard to believe that a chicken fried this rice
  7. What do french fries do when they met after a long time? They ketchup
  8. What do you call a Japanese deep fried mattress? A Tempura-Pedic
  9. Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because it tastes good.
  10. What is a spell that you can learn with a frying pan? Cast Iron.
  11. I like my camgirls like I like my French fries. Steaming hot and covered in oil.
  12. What do Asian pirates do? They fry pranes!
  13. What country does fried fish swim in? Greece!
    (courtesy of my ten year old)
  14. The first French fry wasn't cooked in France. It was cooked in Greece.
  15. What does a Japanese pirate say? Nothing, he's too busy frying the prane.

French Fries Jokes

Here is a list of funny french fries jokes and even better french fries puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Did you know the first French fries weren't actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.
  • My Doctor told me "Don't eat any thing fatty". I said "like cheeseburgers and french fries?"
    He Said "No Fatty. Don't eat anything."
  • Turns out we've all been lied to about French fries. The first fries weren't actually cooked in France. They were cooked in Greece.
  • A hamburger and a French fry walk into a bar The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve food here"
  • Every time I go to dinner with my parents, they constantly argue about the mashed potatoes, rice or french fries... And I always tell them that I'm not choosing sides…
  • Where were the first French fries made? ...in grease
  • Fun fact: the first french fries weren't made in France They were made in Greece
  • French Fries aren't actually fried in France. They're fried in Greece.
  • Where was the french fry born? Greece!
    Sorry it's the only joke I know :(
  • Did you know that French fries weren't originally made in France? Apparently they were made in Greece.

Burger And Fries Jokes

Here is a list of funny burger and fries jokes and even better burger and fries puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My teacher used to tell me that I would never amount to anything by looking out of the window all day Man did I feel smug as I passed him his burger and fries at the drive-through last night
  • I just got out of the doctors office. Doctor: Don't eat anything fatty.
    Me: Like what, burgers and fries?
    Dr: No, fatty, don't eat anything.
  • I had a heated discussion with an art historian yesterday We disagreed on whether I ordered curly fries or mozzarella sticks with my burger
  • I remember my teacher telling me that looking out of the window wouldn't get me anywhere. Boy, did I have a smug look later when I handed him his burger and fries at the drive-thru!
  • What do you say to a female that studied gender science? Could I have the burger with fries please?
  • I feel really gay having just eaten burger and fries I'm just so happy to have Five Guys inside of me.
  • The boy that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money.... He serves up a great burger and fries.
  • Why does the Dairy Queen have small fries? Because the Burger King forgets to wrap his Whopper!
  • What do you call a Burger King on a deserted island? Lord of the fries
  • A guy walks into a library And asks for a burger and fries, the librarian replies
    "Sir this is a library"
    And so the man responds
    *whispering*
    "Id like a burger and fries please"
Fries joke, A guy walks into a library

Burger Fries Jokes

Here is a list of funny burger fries jokes and even better burger fries puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What is a burger's favorite day? Fry-day
  • So after my recent checkup, my doctor told me not to eat anything fatty Me: You mean like burgers and fries right?
    Doctor: No, don't eat anything, Fatty.
  • What's the difference between In-n-Out Burger french fries and League of Legends? I can control my salt intake at In-n-out.
  • Epicurean One-Liner The death row inmate eats burgers and fries.
  • A blonde walks into a library and asks the librarian, "Can I have a burger and fries?"
    She replies, "Sorry, this is a library."
    The blonde whispers, "Oh, sorry. May I have a burger and fries?"
  • A blonde decided to order food using the drive-thru She ordered a burger, fries, and car insurance.
  • Burger King: Have a chicken fry again! But Sensei, I thought they could arways fry
  • Potatoes If potatoes are french fries and cows are burgers. What is the radius of the sun.
  • A goose walks into a cafe. He says, "I want a burger, fries, and coke.
    Put it on my bill."
Fries joke, A goose walks into a cafe.

Quirky and Hilarious Fries Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.

What funny jokes about fries you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean deep fried jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make fries pranks.

I went to McDonalds the other day.

I asked for two large fries but the idiot behind the counter just gave me a bunch of little ones.

h**...


A man stands in front of a food truck and reads the menu:
"Cheeseburgers: $5
Fries: $3
h**...: $10."
He walks up to the window and asks the beautiful blonde working behind the counter, "Are you the one that gives the h**...?"
"Yes, I am," she replies seductively.
"Well, wash your hands, I want a cheeseburger."

A blonde walks into a library..

she goes up to the librarians desk and says, "I'll have a quarter pounder with cheese, fries, and a diet coke please." The librarian looks at her in disbelief. "Uh, honey, this is a library, and not McDonalds." The blonde is totally taken aback as she looks around and see everyone quietly reading books. She says, "Oh my gosh, I am so sorry!"

*whispers* "I'll have a quarter pounder with cheese, fries, and a diet coke please."

So a girl walks into a library...

...and asks the librarian,"Can I have a cheeseburger and fries?"
The librarian says,"This is a library..."
"Sorry,"The girl whispers,"can I have a cheeseburger and fries?"

I have an eating disorder...

I'm about to eat dis order of fries, dis order of wings, and dis order of nuggets.

A hamburger and an order of french fries goes into a bar......

the bartender says: "Sorry, we don't serve food here."

The Accounting major asks: How much will it cost?

The Physics major asks: How does it work?
The Engineering major asks: How do you build it?
The Philosophy major asks: Do you want fries with that?

A guy walks into a library...

and says to the librarian, "I'll take a hamburger and fries."
The librarian looks at him and says, "This is a library, you idiot."
The man says, "Oh sorry!" and whispers, "I'll take a hamburger and fries."

My dad's favourite joke.

This is the joke that my dad has been telling for as long as I can remember:
A robber goes into a McDonald's and points a gun at the cashier. "This is a robbery. Give me all the money!" The cashier looks at him with a blank stare and says: "Would you like fries with that?"

What does a guitarist say when he gets to his gig?

"...Would you like fries with that?"

A blonde goes into a library.

She walks up to the head librarian's desk and says, "Hi! I'd like a cheeseburger, a small order of curly fries, and a medium-sized Coke, please."
The librarian stares at her. "Miss, do you realize that this is a library?"
"Oh!" says the blonde. She lowers her voice to a whisper. "*I'd like a cheeseburger, a small order of curly fries...*"

Four Majors...

The science major asks "Why does it work?"
The engineering major asks "How does it work?"
The business major asks "How much will it cost?"
The liberal arts major asks "Do you want fries with that?"

John learning Math

Teacher was teaching math to 5 yr old John.
Teacher: What is 5 - 5?
John: *Keeps Quiet*
Teacher: If you have 5 burgers and I take 5 burgers from you, what will you be left with?
John: French Fries.

An engineer major asks...

"How can we build this?"
A business major asks, "How can we finance this?"
A liberal arts major asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

I'm going to major in Philosophy when I go to college...

...so one day I can ask '*Why* do you want fries with that?'

You know the economy is bad...

When you pull into the McDonald's drive thru and the person at the speaker asks...
Can you afford fries with that?

Why did Aristotle hate French fries?

They were fried in ancient grease!

An old man walks into a library and talks to the librarian

Old Man: Excuse me miss, can I have a chesseburger and fries please?
Librarian: SIR! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHERE YOU ARE? THIS IS A LIBRARY!
Old Man: O, well, (whispers) *can I have a cheeseburger and fries please?*

What do you say to someone who studied media at university?

Can I have fries with that please?

When Snoop Dogg fries bacon, he listens closely...

... fo' sizzle.

A man walks into a library and goes up to the front desk.

He says to the librarian, "Hello, I'll have a Big Mac, Coke, and fries please."
She looks at him confusedly and says, "Sir, this is a library."
He replies in a whisper, ^^"Oh. ^^Sorry. ^^I'll ^^have ^^a ^^Big ^^Mac, ^^Coke, ^^and ^^fries ^^please."

Old couple goes to a fast food restorant.

They order one burger and fries, sit down and divide the burger and fries. A man from table next to them sees that and asks politely: "If you want, I can buy some extra food for you." "No thanks, we are a old couple, we share everything." Time goes by and the man is eating, but the woman is not. From the table next to them, the man asks again:"I really have no problem buying you food." Man replies:"Dodnt worry about it, she will eat! We share everything" But the stranger is not happy with that and asks the woman:"Why are you not eating?" Woman looks at him and says:"I am waiting for the teeth."

I found out today that French fries were weren't created in France.

They were created in Greece.

A blonde walks into a library

She goes up to the librarian at the counter and says,
"Hello, can I get one cheese burger with a side of fries?"
The librarian, with a confused look, responds, "Sorry but this is a library."
The blonde pauses for a few seconds. She then whispers,
*"Can I get one cheese burger with a side of fries please?"*

"Actually, I'll have you know I have a degree in liberal arts"

"That's great ma'am, but I ordered fries with my meal"

A hamburger and some fries walk into a bar

The bartender looks up and says, "we don't serve food here."

A drunk walks into a library...

He goes up to the desk and slurs: I'll have a burger, fries and a milkshake.
The librarian replies: Sir, this is a library!
***whispers*** Sorry, I'll have a burger, fries and a milkshake.

A guy says to a librarian "I'd like a Big Mac, French Fries and a Coke"

The librarian says "I'm sorry sir but this is a library".
The guy says *whispering* "Oh, sorry, I'd like a Big Mac, French Fries and a Coke"

A polar bear walks into a restaurant..

The polar bear tells the waitress,
"I'll have a Diet Coke, a double cheeseburger and a-"
...
...
... "side of fries."
"What's with the long pause!?" The waitress asked.
The polar bear replied,
"I was born with them."

What do gender studies graduates commonly say?

"Would you like fries with that?"

The amount of salt on social media...

... is more than enough to cover all of the fries produced by McDonalds next year.

What did the soldier use to season his fries?

A salt rifle.

A man walks into a library...

...The man walks up to the librarian and says "Can I have a burger and fries please." The librarian, confused, replies with "Sir, this is a library."
The man apologises, leans in closely and whispers "Can I have a burger and fries please."

Prayer before meals

Kid: Give us this day our daily bread.... With ham, egg, cheeze, french fries, salad on the side...
God: hey, kid. Are you praying or taking an order?

Britons vs. Americans

Americans:
It's Mom not Mum
It's Chips not Crisps
It's Fries not Chips
It's Color not Colour
It's Soccer not Football
It's Football not Rugby
Britons:
It's School not Shooting Range.

I just saw a hot mom at mcdonalds s**... her kid after he threw his fries on the ground

...so I threw my fries on the ground too.

How do you use a philosophy degree in a professional context?

*Why* would you like fries with that?

Fastfood

Clerk: Number 27! Double steak combo with extra fries!
Man: Right here!
Clerk: Here you go sir, sorry about your weight.
Man: Oh, it wasn't long at al- wait...
Clerk: >:D

A blonde walks into a library and says to the librarian "CAN I GET A BIG MAC FRIES AND A COKE?!!" The librarian says "excuse me miss.....this is a library."

The blonde says...."oh im sorry (whispers) can i get a big mac fries and a coke?"

I have a degree in Liberal Arts

Do you want fries with that?

I have a degree in gender studies

Want some fries with that?

Degrees

The graduate with a science degree asks,
'Why does it work?'
The graduate with an engineering degree asks,
'How does it work?'
The graduate with an accounting degree asks,
'How much will it cost?'
The graduate with a liberal arts degree asks,
'Do you want fries with that?'

A Canadian visits Russia

A Canadian visits Russia and goes to a restaurant that serves fries with gravy and cheese. He says, "I hate this poutine".
He was never seen again.

A Fries Factory Burned Down

It burned down to a crisp

A man walks into a bar, and begins reading the menu overhead the smoking hot bartender.

The sign reads as follows:
* Nachos $4
* Hamburger $3
* Hotdog $2
* Grilled Chicken Sandwich $3
* Grilled Cheese $2
* Fries, Onion Rings, and Tater Tots $1.50
* h**... $10
After he looks over the menu for a moment he asks the bartender, "Are you the one who gives the h**...?" "Why yes I am." replies the bartender seductively. Then says the man, "Wash your hands! I'd like a hamburger."

Why did the Muslim only order a side of french fries?

Because he prefers his food Allah carte.

Yo momma so s**...

when they said, "Order in the court," she asked for fries and a shake.

I ordered "Texas Fries" off the bar menu...

I thought they would be *kinda* bad, but I didn't expect to receive fries floating in a bucket of water.

"Hey man, I haven't seen you since college!"

"Hey man, I haven't seen you since college! How are you?"
"I'm doing well, I got that philosophy degree."
"Congratulations."
"Thanks. Hey, do you want fries with that?

A blonde goes into a library and, speaking clearly and loudly, orders a burger, fries and a milkshake.

The librarian rolls his eyes and says, exasperated, "This is a library, ma'am."
So the blonde leans in and whispers, "Sorry. I'll have a burger, fries, and a milkshake."

I don't understand why so many people major in English Literature.

I mean there's only so many ways to ask, "Do you want fries with that?"

What did the Arts major say to the Science major?

Do you want fries with that?

So I went into Mcdonalds and ordered some fries.

There was a chubby girl working, she seemed busy and kinda stressed out. She informed me the fries are cooking, and will be ready in about 3 minutes. I told her "no problem" and waited for my fries. After a few minutes she brought me my order and said "sorry about the wait" I said "no problem chubby, you're bound to lose it sometime".

French Fries aren't made in France

They're made in Grease

Everytime I eat fast food I can talk to dead people...

Maybe I should quit ordering the medium fries.

I just got completely burnt fries at a restaurant.

It really is Black Fry Day.

A person with a science degree asks "why does it work?" A person with an engineering degree asks: "how does it work?" A person with an accounting degree asks: "how much does it cost?" A person with an art degree asks:

"do you want fries with that?"

A man walks into a library,

He approaches the librarian and says, I'll have a cheeseburger and fries, please.
The librarian says, Sir, you know you're in a library, right?
Sorry, he whispers. I'll have a cheeseburger and fries, please.

A blonde walks into a library (*not the whole joke)

She says to the librarian "Hiiii, I'd like a cheeseburger, some fries, and a coke."
The librarian says, "Lady, this is a library!"
Embarrassed, the blonde apologizes and whispers, "I'd like a cheeseburger, some fries, and a coke."

Did you know french fries aren't made in France?

They're fried in Greece!

Where do French fries originally come from?

Grease

A blonde girl walks into a library and loudly exclaims, "I'll have a cheeseburger with fries"

The librarian stares at her questioningly and says, "Madam, this is a library."
The blonde turns red with embarrassment and apologizes.
She leans in and whispers, "I'll have a cheeseburger and fries."

An elderly couple goes to Burger King, where they carefully split a burger and fries. A trucker takes pity on them and offers to buy the wife her own meal.''It's all right,'' says the husband. ''We share everything.''

A few minutes later, the trucker notices that the wife hasn't taken a bite. ''I really wouldn't mind buying your wife her own meal,'' he insists.''She'll eat,'' the husband assures him. ''We share everything.''Unconvinced, the trucker implores the wife, ''Why aren't you eating?''The wife snaps, ''Because I'm waiting for the teeth!''

Did you know?

The first French fries were cooked in Greece

What do you say to an art student?

Can I have fries with that?

Annual medical check

A man went in for his annual medical checkup and the doctor said "dont eat anything fatty"
The man sighed and said "does that include burgers and fries?"
"No, fatty, I mean dont eat anything!" Replied the doctor

What did the arts graduate say to the mechanic?

Would you like fries with that?

Rene Descartes goes to a restaurant and orders a cheeseburger.

The waiter says, "Would you like fries with that, sir?"
Rene Descartes replies, "I think not," and ceases to exist.

Fries joke, Rene Descartes goes to a restaurant and orders a cheeseburger.

jokes about fries