The Best 57 Friendship Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Friendship jokes. There are some friendship befriend jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these friendship mutual puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Friendship Jokes and Puns

Patient to friend: "I saw the doctor to day about my loss of memory."

Friend: "What did he do?"

Patient: "He made me pay him in advance."

A man returns home and find his wife with his best friend.



He takes out the gun and shoots his friend to death.

His wife: "Listen, if you stay in such character, you will lose all your friends."

Mike: "Hey Joe. My girl friend always gets offended whenever I tell her jokes about bald people."

Joe: "Is your girl friend bald?"

Mike: "No. She"s a blonde."

Friendship joke

Q: What did the cannibal do once he dumped his lady friend?

A: He wiped his bottom.

Before Instagram, I used to waste so much time sitting around having to imagine what my friends' food looked like.


A man asks his buddy: "Listen to me! Why has your wife left you, if I may ask?"

And he says, "you know, she has told me that I am weak in the bed."

"Oh, that is really sad. And what do you do to improve it?"

And he says again: "you know, I have bought one book, the name of this book is Kamasutra, you know I am helping myself with the hand, I have learned all positions, but the last position I am not gonna make."

"And what is the name of this position?"

"You know, imagine the missionary position."

I and my two mates went to a hooker and she told us that it will cost us a pound an inch.



My first mate went in and came out after minutes, saying, it cost me a tenner!

My second mate went in and came out ten minutes later and said, it cost me Β£9.50!

I went in and came out ten minutes later and said, it cost me Β£3.50.!

"What do you mean," they asked me.

"I told them, you both paid on the way in but I paid on the way out."

Friendship joke

"I thought, Miss Smith, that you wanted yesterday afternoon off because you were seeing your dentist?"

"That's right, Sir."

"So how come I saw you coming out of the movie theatre with a friend?"

"That was my dentist."

My friend's friend is my friend. My friend's girlfriend is my friend. My friend's boyfriend is just a scum.

I found out about you from my last nightmare.

If you got tired of living, don't share your thoughts with all your friends – they might not give you a chance to change your mind…

You can explore friendship bridge reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean friendship faithful dad jokes. There are also friendship puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Nothing brings neighbors together, like a broken elevator.

Sometimes we expect more from others because we would be willing to do that much more for them.

I always tell new hires, don't think of me as your boss, think of me as your friend who can fire you.

Rap videos are completely unrealistic. Nobody has that many friends.

Let me make this simple, I want to be invited but I don't want to go.

Friendship joke

My mate broke his left arm and left leg, but he was alright.

If you had friends like mine, you'd be the luckiest guy in the world!

I'm rubber and you're glue. She's tape. He's a stapler. Those guys are paper clips. All my friends are office supplies.


My friend's girlfriend is 6 months pregnant, they asked if I wanna put my hand on the baby.

Apparently, they meant from the outside.

I've never enjoyed my surprise birthday parties because all I can think about is how good my friends are at lying to my face.

Walk up to a friend at work or school and whisper, "

They know." Then quickly walk away. Most people will wrack their brains wondering what they did that people found out about.

Cults make perfect sense. Do you know how hard it is to make friends as an adult?

It's not peer pressure, it's just your turn.

A good romance starts with a foundation of trust and friendship.

A bad romance starts with a rah rah rah-ah-ah, roma roma-ma gaga ooh la la

Relationships are a progression of 4 rings.

First is the "Friendship" ring, when dating is exclusive, but there's no more commitment

Second is the Engagement ring, when two people are so in love that they want to get married.

Third is the Wedding ring, worn when two people make a life-long commitment to each other during a ceremory attended by their friends.

Fourth and finally - is the Suffering. Starts about a year after Step 3.

Friendship: Men vs. Women

Friendship Between Women:

A woman didn't come home one night. The next day she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house. The suspicious husband called his wife's 10 best friends. none of them knew about it.

Friendship Between Men:

A man didn't come home one night. The next day he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house. The suspicious woman called her husband's 10 best friends.
Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two claimed that he was still there.

I saw two construction workers laughing together today. I know what they were building...

Friendship.

What is the best Vitamin for friendship?

B1. Because no one wants to be friends with a guy in a metabolic coma due to a thiamine deficiency.

What do you call a friendship between punctuation?

Commaraderie

What do you say when you friendzone a brony?

Friendship is magic.

Friendship Merit!!!!

=>Boy: Hi

=>Girl: What?

=>Boy: How are you?

=>Girl: Do I know you?

=>Boy: I'm rich

=>Girl: Hi, I am Nani, I'm 20, nice to meet you!

=>Boy: no no, Rich is my name

=>Girl: sorry I don't talk to boys

They say there's a person capable of murder in every friendship group.

I suspected it was Dave, so i killed him before he could cause any harm.

I was told that the friendship between sodium, potassium, and oxygen was bad.

I said, "Na. Pretty sure it is OK."

Friendship is like peeing on yourself

Everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

Friendship...

Is like peeing your pants. Everyone around you can see it but only you can feel the warmth it brings.

What do you call friendship between recording devices?

Cameraderie

An old Soviet joke..

An artist is commissioned to create a painting celebrating Soviet–Polish friendship, to be called "Lenin in Poland." When the painting is unveiled at the Kremlin, there is a gasp from the invited guests; the painting depicts Nadezhda Krupskaya (Lenin's wife) naked in bed with Leon Trotsky. One guest asks, "But this is a travesty! Where is Lenin?" To which the painter replies, "Lenin is in Poland."

What's the best vitamin for friendship?

B1

Shout out to the random guy on the street that told me this joke!

I've never been able to sustain a friendship with a lumberjack.

They all arbor resentment.

I don't make friends with people wearing eyepatches.

Friendship has two 'i's.

My buddy didn't let me on his boat because I'm too muscular.

I thought it was a strong friendship.

What's the surest way to ruin a friendship?

Homicide

Do you want a stable friendship?

Get a horse.

Friendship between men and women

Women: A woman didn't come home one night. The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it.

Men: A man didn't come home one night. The next morning he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends, 8 of which confirmed that he had slept over, and 2 said that he was still there.

What's the worst way to end a friendship with a rock?

Take them for granite.

I found out one of my friend is missing all his toes on his right foot

I had to end the friendship because I'm lack-toes intolerant

An artist is commissioned to create a painting celebrating Soviet–Polish friendship, to be called "Lenin in Poland."

When the painting is unveiled at the Kremlin, there is a gasp from the invited guests; the painting depicts Lenin's wife naked in bed with Leon Trotsky. A voice calls out, "But this is a travesty! Where is Lenin?" To which the painter replies, "Lenin is in Poland."

Best way to ruine a friendship ?

Ask her out.

Nataly

Up until two years ago I still had a friend called Nataly, but everybody called her "Nut" for some reason, was it her auburn hair or the similarity with her name, I still don't know. Our friendship ended the day when the class teacher asked us, who's bag is it on the corridor. My fateful answer was "Well, it looks like Nut's sack"

What do you call a boat full of buddies?

A friend-ship

What do you call a group of musicians who make music on friendship?

A friendship band

I loved my pet rock

Our friendship was solid

My friend, Pandora, wants to "take our friendship to the next level"

I said I'm not really ready to open that box.

Good romance starts with a good friendship

A bad romance starts with "ra ra ah ah ah. ro, ro ma ma ga ga, ooh la la,"

Sudden end of a longtime friendship

**Sudden end of a longtime friendship**
*a short story*

Monica was breastfeeding her son
while her best friend Soniya sat nearby...

Monica asked - 'Does my son resemble me or his father?'

Soniya - 'He looks like you, but he sucks exactly like his father!'

**The End**

Friendship Among Men

A man didn't come home one night. The next day he told his wife that he had slept over at a buddy's house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends. Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two claimed that he was still there.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the friendship affection jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working friendship happiness piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes