Friendship Jokes
134 friendship jokes and hilarious friendship puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about friendship that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Friendship Short Jokes
Short friendship jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The friendship humour may include short friends forever jokes also.
- A good romance starts with a foundation of trust and friendship. A bad romance starts with a rah rah rah-ah-ah, roma roma-ma gaga ooh la la
- A good romance starts with a foundation of trust, friendship and mutual respect A bad romance starts with rah rah-ah-ah-ah roma roma-ma gaga ooh-la-la.
- Platonic friendships are like chess. They're fun, engaging, and can last a long time... but someone's always wondering "how many moves until mate?"
- I saw two construction workers laughing together today. I know what they were building... Friendship.
- Friendship... Is like peeing your pants. Everyone around you can see it but only you can feel the warmth it brings.
- I was told that the friendship between sodium, potassium, and oxygen was bad. I said, "Na. Pretty sure it is OK."
- What's the best vitamin for friendship? B1
Shout out to the random guy on the street that told me this joke! - My friend, Pandora, wants to "take our friendship to the next level" I said I'm not really ready to open that box.
- Friendships I visited my friend at his new house. He told me to make myself at home. So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.
- My buddy didn't let me on his boat because I'm too muscular. I thought it was a strong friendship.
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Friendship One Liners
Which friendship one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with friendship? I can suggest the ones about best friends and friend ship.
- What do you call a boat full of buddies? A friend-ship
- Alcohol is an excellent solvent. It dissolves marriages, friendships and organs.
- What do you call a friendship between punctuation? Commaraderie
- I don't make friends with people wearing eyepatches. Friendship has two 'i's.
- What do you say when you friendzone a brony? Friendship is magic.
- What's the worst way to end a friendship with a rock? Take them for granite.
- I loved my pet rock Our friendship was solid
- Best way to ruine a friendship ? Ask her out.
- My mate broke his left arm and left leg, but he was alright.
- Nothing brings neighbors together, like a broken elevator.
- Cults make perfect sense. Do you know how hard it is to make friends as an adult?
- True friendship comes when the silence between two people is comfortable.
- Do you want a stable friendship? Get a horse.
- It's not peer pressure, it's just your turn.
- If you had friends like mine, you'd be the luckiest guy in the world!
Friendship Day Jokes
Here is a list of funny friendship day jokes and even better friendship day puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Patient to friend: "I saw the doctor to day about my loss of memory."
Friend: "What did he do?"
Patient: "He made me pay him in advance." - Walk up to a friend at work or school and whisper, "They know." Then quickly walk away. Most people will wrack their brains wondering what they did that people found out about.
- Put some ash or soot on your fingertip. Casually mention to a friend that he has a spot of dirt on his face as you reach up to remove it. Leave your mark!
Comical Friendship Jokes and Gems that Will Get You in Laughter Land
What funny jokes about friendship you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean school friends jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make friendship pranks.
I'm going to change my Facebook name to Benefits.
Now, when someone adds me on Facebook, it will say: you are now friends with Benefits.
A Rabbi and a Priest are driving one day and, by a freak accident, have a head-on collision with tremendous force.
Both cars are totally demolished, but amazingly, neither of the clerics has a scratch on him.
After they crawl out of their cars, the rabbi sees the priest's collar and says, "So you're a priest. I'm a rabbi.
Just look at our cars.
There is nothing left, yet we are here, unhurt.
This must be a sign from God!"
Pointing to the sky, he continues, "God must have meant that we should meet and share our lives in peace and friendship for the rest of our days on earth."
The priest replies, "I agree with you completely.
This must surely be a sign from God!"
The rabbi is looking at his car and exclaims, "And look at this!
Here's another miracle!
My car is completely demolished, but this bottle of Mogen David wine did not break.
Surely, God wants us to drink this wine and to celebrate our good fortune."
The priest nods in agreement.
The rabbi hands the bottle to the priest, who drinks half the bottle and hands the bottle back to the rabbi.
The rabbi takes the bottle and immediately puts the cap on, then hands it back to the priest.
The priest, baffled, asks, "Aren't you having any, Rabbi?"
The rabbi replies, "Nah... I think I'll wait for the police."
A man returns home and find his wife with his best friend.
He takes out the gun and shoots his friend to death.
His wife: "Listen, if you stay in such character, you will lose all your friends."
Two friends talk:
"Hi, what are you doing?"
"Not much, writing a Valentine's Day greeting card."
"Why are you writing it with your left hand? Are you left-handed?"
"No, I just can't let my right hand to see it. It's a surprise for it."
Your mama so old she was friends with Cleopatra.
Two old friends met by chance on the street.
After chatting for some time, one said to the other, "I'm terribly sorry, but I've forgotten your name. You'll need to tell me."
The other stared at him thoughtfully for a long time, then replied, "How soon do you need to know?"
Mike: "Hey Joe. My girl friend always gets offended whenever I tell her jokes about bald people."
Joe: "Is your girl friend bald?"
Mike: "No. She"s a blonde."
John: "Hey can I borrow some money? I'm broke."
Michael: "Get money from your job."
John: "I got fired."
Michael: "Why?"
John: "My boss told me to leave all my problems behind the door, so I told him to stand outside."
Michael: "This is why we are friends."
So it's the weekend, and I'm on my back patio when I get this idea to call up my coroner friend Bob.
"Bob's not here," his wife says, "he's at work."
"Sheesh!" I think. "Poor guy doing autopsies on a Sunday."
So I call him on his cell.
"What gives, bro,?" I ask.
"h**...," he says. "The higher-ups need a report ASAP. I'll be starting in just a few minutes."
I Josh Bob a little. "I'll be thinking of you, buddy. Right now, I'm basting barbecue sauce on a rack of baby-backs and I'm getting ready to open a frosty beer."
"Not much different here," he says. "I'm about ready to crack open a cold one myself."
My friend's father died last night so I asked him "What was the cause of his father's death?"
He said, "A bus passed over his finger!"
I laughed and told him: "It is not a suitable cause."
My friend said: "When the bus crashed, his finger was on his nose!"
Pritam is driving down the Delhi-Amritsar highway when he spots his friend Shankar standing in the middle of a huge field of grass.
He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that Shankar is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing.
Pritam gets out of the car, walks all the way out to Shankar and asks him, "Excuse me, what are you doing?"
Shankar replies, "I'm trying to win a Nobel Prize."
"How?" asks Pritam, puzzled.
"Well, I heard they give the Noble Prize to people who are outstanding in their field."
Q: What did the cannibal do once he dumped his lady friend?
A: He wiped his bottom.
A brunette doing laundry asked her blonde friend to help her find a match for her sock.
The blonde replied, "What for? Are you going to set it on fire!"
My friend over there really wants your number so he knows where to get a hold of me in the morning.
Before Instagram, I used to waste so much time sitting around having to imagine what my friends' food looked like.
On the morning a cop walks into a bar and sees his wife with two of his best friends.
He takes a sit on the table behind them to eavesdrop then his wife says "let's have him kidnaped."
A poor guy heartbroken pulls out a gun and shoots them all and runs back to his house to grab some cash and clothe to escape.
When he finally reached his house and opens the door everyone yells happy birthday!
A man asks his buddy: "Listen to me! Why has your wife left you, if I may ask?"
And he says, "you know, she has told me that I am weak in the bed."
"Oh, that is really sad. And what do you do to improve it?"
And he says again: "you know, I have bought one book, the name of this book is Kamasutra, you know I am helping myself with the hand, I have learned all positions, but the last position I am not gonna make."
"And what is the name of this position?"
"You know, imagine the m**...."
I and my two mates went to a h**... and she told us that it will cost us a pound an inch.
My first mate went in and came out after minutes, saying, it cost me a tenner!
My second mate went in and came out ten minutes later and said, it cost me £9.50!
I went in and came out ten minutes later and said, it cost me £3.50.!
"What do you mean," they asked me.
"I told them, you both paid on the way in but I paid on the way out."
Yo mama's so dumb that when she saw the "Under 17 not admitted" sign at a movie theatre, she went home and got 16 friends.
A boastful hunter kept telling his buddies the same story, and they chided him for telling it over and over.
He reminded them that they often tell the same stories.
"Not so," said one friend. "We re-share, you repeat."
One day, a guy walks into a pub and orders a beer.
His friend walks up and sees his red eyes and asks, "Dude, are you okay? You look exhausted".
He replies,"Yeah, I heard about what happened in your house yesterday too. Tough."
His friend says, "Yeah, I wish I could trust my wife a little more - wait... How did you know about that?"
He says,"I was there" and continues chugging his beer.
"I thought, Miss Smith, that you wanted yesterday afternoon off because you were seeing your dentist?"
"That's right, Sir."
"So how come I saw you coming out of the movie theatre with a friend?"
"That was my dentist."
Friend 1: "I like my women how I like my milk."
Friend 2: "What? White?"
Friend 1: "No, expired."
My friend thinks that onion is the only fruit that can make us cry.
So I just threw the coconut up to his head, he cried then.
Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival.
My friend's friend is my friend. My friend's girlfriend is my friend. My friend's boyfriend is just a s**....
Everyone has a friend who laughs funnier than he jokes.
I found out about you from my last nightmare.
I like the sound of you not talking.
I'm not a Facebook status, you don't have to like me.
If you got tired of living, don't share your thoughts with all your friends – they might not give you a chance to change your mind…
Some people only gets called by their nicknames. Usually it sounds weird to even say their real name.
Don't tell a lot about yourself, behind your back will tell more interestingly about you.
Sometimes we expect more from others because we would be willing to do that much more for them.
TRUE FRIENDSHIP: Walking into a persons house and your wifi connects automatically.
The difference between "Girlfriend" and "Girl Friend" is that little space in between we call the "Friend Zone".
A beautiful girl looks good in the background of her smart friend.
I'm having an introvert party and you're all not invited.
I always tell new hires, don't think of me as your boss, think of me as your friend who can fire you.
There are few things I enjoy more than picking an argument with my girlfriend when she has the hiccups.
I think I've discovered my supersymmetric partner.
You give me Epsilon, I give you Delta. Together, we find limits.
It's always a good idea to make friends with babies. That's free cake once a year for a lifetime.
Rap videos are completely unrealistic. Nobody has that many friends.
Sorry I just saw your text from last night, are you guys still at the restaurant.
Let me make this simple, I want to be invited but I don't want to go.
I asked my friend for a sharpened pencil, but he didn't have one. I always knew he was a little dull...
Isn't it great to live in the 21st century? Where saluting the moths of the year become more important than to salute your friends...
I'm rubber and you're glue. She's tape. He's a stapler. Those guys are paper clips. All my friends are office supplies.
Friend: "I don't want to bore you with my problems."
Me: "Awesome, thank you."
My friend stopped by to tell me he had just been diagnosed as Dyslexic. Said he was going home to write it in his dairy.
Be it any situation but your friends are gonna be there with you probably asking for a treat!
Putting your iPod on shuffle around your friends is like playing Russian roulette with their respect for you.
Someone says to his friend: "I bought a cat"
And the other: "You have to be kitten me!"
My kid wants $20 to go through a corn maze with his friends, which is $20 more than I normally pay to walk through vegetables.
My friend's girlfriend is 6 months pregnant, they asked if I wanna put my hand on the baby. Apparently, they meant from the outside.
Why call someone when you can just decide where you and your friend want to meet by exchanging 76 text messages?
I've never enjoyed my surprise birthday parties because all I can think about is how good my friends are at lying to my face.
You know you're getting old when you have more candles on your cake than friends at your birthday party.
What do you buy a friend graduating from Law School? A law-botomy.
My friend told me he had a sister. I asked if she was hot and he said she was 8. That wasn't my question.
My friend's in prison for flashing; he says he can't bare it anymore.
I recently heard about a mannequin that lost all of his friends because he was so clothes minded!
I asked my friend a question while he was eating an orange, but all I got was a pithy response.
Cats are a great pet if you've ever wanted convenient access to a friend that hurts your feelings.
My midget friend got thrown out of the nudist colony because he kept getting in everyone's hair.
Relationships are a progression of 4 rings.
First is the "Friendship" ring, when dating is exclusive, but there's no more commitment
Second is the Engagement ring, when two people are so in love that they want to get married.
Third is the Wedding ring, worn when two people make a life-long commitment to each other during a ceremory attended by their friends.
Fourth and finally - is the Suffering. Starts about a year after Step 3.
Friendship: Men vs. Women
Friendship Between Women:
A woman didn't come home one night. The next day she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house. The suspicious husband called his wife's 10 best friends. none of them knew about it.
Friendship Between Men:
A man didn't come home one night. The next day he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house. The suspicious woman called her husband's 10 best friends.
Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two claimed that he was still there.
What is the best Vitamin for friendship?
B1. Because no one wants to be friends with a guy in a metabolic coma due to a thiamine deficiency.
Friendship Merit!!!!
=>Boy: Hi
=>Girl: What?
=>Boy: How are you?
=>Girl: Do I know you?
=>Boy: I'm rich
=>Girl: Hi, I am Nani, I'm 20, nice to meet you!
=>Boy: no no, Rich is my name
=>Girl: sorry I don't talk to boys
