Friends Movie Jokes

80 friends movie jokes and hilarious friends movie puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about friends movie that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Short Friends Movie Jokes
Friends Movie One Liners
More Friends Movie Jokes

Funniest Friends Movie Short Jokes

Short friends movie jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The friends movie humour may include short friends tv show jokes also.

My friend asked me what the biggest fish I ever caught was. "Have you ever saw the movie jaws? I asked. "Well it was about the same size as the box the dvd came in."
My friend asked me if the next Star Wars movies were going to be in 3D "Yes" I replied "...but they R2D2."
Girl: What do you like to do in your free time? Guy: I spy on people.
Girl: Really? I like to take long walks in the park and go to the movies with my friends.
Guy: I know.
My friend couldn't see the new Pirates of the caribbean movie because of an eye injury... his Depp perception isn't too good now
Why is Bear Grylls a good friend to take to the movie theater? He sneaks his own drinks in.
Yo mama so dumb, She went to the movies and it said 17+ so she bought 16 of her friends along.
My friend took me to the movies to see 'Constipation' However, the movie didn't come out yet.
We'll try again next week!
Accidentally broke my Irish friend's Pixar movie... He wasn't amused, but he did say, You cracked me Up.
Yo mama's so dumb that when she saw the "Under 17 not admitted" sign at a movie theatre, she went home and got 16 friends.
Trump blasts Greta Thunberg. So ridiculous. Greta must work on her Anger Management problem, then go to a good old fashioned movie with a friend! Chill Greta, Chill!

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Friends Movie One Liners

Which friends movie one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with friends movie? I can suggest the ones about action movie and friends show.

My friend asked if I wanted to go out for a horror movie. I said I'd prefer the movie.
A friend asked me to rate the movie "Django" I gave it a 3/5.
What happened after the man borrowed a sad movie from his friend? He lost it.
My friend lost my favorite Joy Division movie She's lost Control again.
My Mexican friend gave me two tickets to the movies.. Who wants to go see Rogue Juan?
My friend was in an old movie about guns It is now a Colt Classic
My friend wanted a scary movie recommendation I suggested An Inconvenient Truth
Looking for a Possible Pun Based Movie Title of My Friend and his Girlfriend
I Just Went And Saw the LEGO Movie with Some Old Friends Good film; great company!

Comical Friends Movie Jokes to Spread Joy and Laughter

What funny jokes about friends movie you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean movie title jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make friends movie pranks.

Yo momma so s**... when she went to go see a movie, it said "under 17 not allowed," so she left to get 16 more friends to go with her.

Yo momma is so s**..., when she went to the movie theater & the movie she wanted to see said, "under 17 not allowed," she left & brought back 16 of her friends.

Three old friends got together and were discussing what movie they had watched when they conceived their children. One lady says she had just watched a movie called The Search for One-eye Jimmy and nine months later she gave birth to her baby. Another lady says, "Oh, I saw the movie Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs and then nine months later I had septuplets." The last lady gasps and exclaims, "Oh no, I just watched 101 Dalmations!"

Signs You're No Longer in College...
You no longer know what time fast food drive-thru windows close.
Your potted plants stay alive.
You pay at least a dollar more than the minimum payment on your credit card bill.
Your friends' hook-ups and break-ups are now marriages and divorces.
You attend parties that the police don't raid.
You're not expected to leave the room when the adults are talking.
You refer to college students as "those kids."
You drink wine, scotch and martinis instead of just beer, beer and beer.
You feed your dog Science Diet instead of leftover pizza.
At 6 a.m., you're putting your contact lens in instead of taking them out.
Naps are no longer weekday options.
Dating involves dinner and a movie, not keggers and Ecstasy.
Grocery lists contain more than toilet paper and potato chips.
You leave parties because you have a busy day tomorrow, not because the EMS guy has strapped you down.

"I thought, Miss Smith, that you wanted yesterday afternoon off because you were seeing your dentist?"
"That's right, Sir."
"So how come I saw you coming out of the movie theatre with a friend?"
"That was my dentist."

Two blondes at the movie:" Pst, the guy next to me is m**...!"says one

"just ignore him" answers her friend.
"But I can't ! He's using my hand!"replies the first blonde

So a redhead, a brunette, and a blonde all work in a very small office

One day their boss Ms. White tells them, "Hey guys, I am going to knock off a little early. I'll see you tomorrow."
Well, the three ladies start talking and they all decide that since the boss wasn't around, they were going to leave too.
The red head went to meet her friends at a bar, the brunette called her boyfriend and went to a movie, but the blonde just went home.
When she got there she heard noises coming from her bedroom. She carefully peeked in and saw her boss and her husband passionately knocking the boots.
Well, she dashed out of the house as quietly as she could and went to the mall until it was her normal time to go home.
The next day Ms White told her three workers she was leaving work early again. And again the three discussed sneaking out early. The blonde said, "No way! The last time we did that, I almost got caught!"

Dating in 1962

It was a hot Saturday evening in the summer of 1962 and Fred had a date with Peggy Sue.
He arrived at her house and rang the bell.
"Oh, come on in!" Peggy Sue's mother said as she welcomed Fred in.
"Have a seat in the living room. Would you like something to drink? Lemonade? Iced tea?"
"Iced tea, please," Fred said. Mom brought the iced tea.
"So, what are you and Peggy planning to do tonight?" she asked.
"Oh, probably catch a movie, and then maybe grab a bite to eat at the malt shop,
maybe take a walk on the beach..."
"Peggy likes to screw, you know," Mom informed him.
"Uh...really?" Fred replied, with raised eyebrows.
"Oh, yes!" the mother continued. "When she goes out with her friends, that's all they do!"
"Is that so?" asked Fred, incredulous.
"Yes," said the mother. "As a matter of fact, she'd screw all night if we let her!"
"Well, thanks for the tip," Fred said as he began thinking about alternate plans for the evening.
A moment later, Peggy Sue came down the stairs looking pretty as a picture wearing a pink blouse
and full circle skirt, and with her hair tied back in a bouncy ponytail. She greeted Fred.
"Have fun, kids," the mother said as they left.
Half an hour later, a completely disheveled Peggy Sue burst into the house
and slammed the front door behind her.
"The Twist, Mom!" she angrily yelled at her mother. "The d**... dance is called the Twist!

Some marriage jokes (closer to facts)

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always
It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.
Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.
A man was complaining to a friend: 'I had it all - money, a beautiful house,a big car, the love of a beautiful woman then, Pow! it was all gone!' 'What happened?' asked the friend. 'My wife found out..'
Wife: Let's go out and have some fun tonight. Husband: Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on.
How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch.
A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, 'Martha, pack up your things! I just won the California lottery!' Martha replies, 'Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?' The man responds, 'I don't care. Just so long as you're out of the house by noon!'
Women will never be equal to men until can walk down the street bald and still think they are beautiful!
I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.
If your wife and a lawyer were drowning and you had to choose, would you go to lunch or to a movie?
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.

So my friend, Rick Astley, asked me for some Pixar movies to watch...

I told him, "You can borrow Toy Story 1, 2, and 3, A Bugs Life, Monsters Inc., Finding Nemo, The Incredibles, Cars 1 and 2, Ratatouille, and Wall*E, but I'm never gonna give you UP!"

More Pirate Jokes

Me and my one legged pirate friend went out to dinner last night. You know where we went?
IIIIIIIIIHOP
Afterwards we went to go see a movie, guess what it's rated.
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
you know why its rated R?
Because of all the b**...!

I was with some friends and we started talking about movies.

One of my friends mentioned that the sets in old Westerns were often built slightly smaller than normal to make the leading man appear larger. I said that that would make sense because I heard that John Wayne, while filming a scene with his co-star, complained that the town wasn't big enough for the two of them.

My friend had one of those novelty leg lamps from the Christmas Story movie, but he lost it recently...

Now he's a lamputee

GovSchwarzenegger's musical talents.

One day Arnold Schwarzenegger and his two friends Bill and Tom were going for a stroll downtown.
Suddenly a man jumped out of a doorway and said "Help! We've just lost our three leads for our movie on famous European composers!"
Arnie and the boys, ever the gentlemen, decided to help the poor fellow.
Once inside, the director told them who the three composers in question were and that they could pick each part for themselves.
"I'll be Mozart." Said Bill.
"I'll be Beethoven!" Said Tom.
"I'll be Bach..."

My friend has gotten twelve auditions for movies in the last week alone.

I asked him how and all he could say was "It's this new medication". He never told me what it was, but I could safely assume that it was a fast acting drug.

M.Night Shamaylan Joke

When you go to a regular movie, a friend asks you "so how good was the movie?" When you go to an M.night Shamylan movie a friend asks " So how bad was the plot twist?"

My friend and I are going to see a movie.

As we enter the theatre, we see a sign that says "no food or drink permitted."
Quietly I say, "I have a way to get around this."
To which he says, "How? It's not like we have a purse or huge pockets to hide things in."
I replied, "I've got a couple Twix up my sleeves."

I came up with a fun drinking game the other day

You watch a movie with a group of friends, and every time a black person puts their hands up you take a shot

"Welcome back, happy New Year!"

"Thank you!"
"Welcome!"
And that's the last time I'm taking Bollywood movie suggestions from my friends.

Going to watch a movie in theater

Me: This movie is pirated
Friend: How?
Me: This movie has got 3.14 rating

A man is at a hotel with his wife's friend when he receives a message and gets surprised.

The mistress asks: "who was it my love?". He answers scratching his head: "it was my wife, she said she is going to be late because she went to the movies with you".

My friend who works at the movie theater died yesterday...

f**... services are being held today at 4:25, 5:40, 7:10 and 9:45

Snakes on a Plane

I arrived at my friend's house and saw he was watching a movie.
"What are you watching?"
"Snakes on a Plane."
"What's it about?"
"Horses."
He turns away from the screen and looks me straight in the eyes before he continues.
"Horses on boats."

Frodo and Gollum became such great friends

At the end of the third movie Frodo gave him his digits.

I was talking to my friend over the weekend, when he brought up the subject of hobbies....

He asked, "What do you do in your free time".
To which I responded, "I stalk people".
"Oh", he exclaimed, "Really? I enjoy walks in the park or going to movies with friends".
"I know"

Letter from North Korea

When my friend moved to North Korea, he knew his mail would be read by censors, so he told me: "Let's establish a code. If a letter you get from me is written in blue ink, it is true what I say. If it is written in red ink, it is false."
After a month, I got the first letter. Everything was written in blue. It said, this letter: "Everything is wonderful here. Stores are full of good food. Movie theaters show good films from the west. Apartments are large and luxurious. The only thing you cannot buy is red ink."

Yo momma's so dumb,

Yo momma's so dumb, when she went to the movies and saw the "Under 17 not permitted" sign, she left to get 16 of her friends.

A man goes to the movie theater

He sees a childhood friend of his embracing a woman in the back rows. He goes up to them and asks, "Who's this?"
His friend proudly replies, "It's my lover!"
The man then said, "Not you, I'm asking my wife."

Little Johnny comes home late...

and his mother angrily asks him where he was.
'I was at my friend's watching a movie' says Johnny.
'Don't lie to me, I called his mother and she told me you weren't there'.
'Okay okay, I was in a s**... club'.
'Oh my god.. did you see something you shouldn't have?'
'Yes, I saw dad'

A blonde goes to watch a movie...

It was an adult movie and "under 18 not admitted".
Seeing this, she went and brought 17 of her friends!!

I'm not upset

It's fine that my imaginary friends decided to go see a movie and not invite me. We don't have to do everything together. But why couldn't they walk or take the bus instead of borrowing my car?

[religious] [nsfw] a priest is driving a nun home.

On the way, he puts his hand on her leg. Noticing this, the nun says, "Father, remember Luke 14:10." The priest apologizes and returns his hand to the wheel.
A few minutes later he tries again, sliding his hand higher up her leg. Again, the nun says, "Father, remember Luke 14:10." "The flesh is weak," he says, and withdraws his hand.
When the priest gets home, he opens his Bible to Luke 14:10 -- "Friend, come up higher, then shalt thou have glory."
Credit goes to the movie Miss Sloane, which I whole heartedly recommend :) plus she tells it better

5 Jokes About Pi

1. Divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter and what do you get?
Pumpkin Pi
2. I saw a movie and gave it a 3.1415 out of 5.
It was Life of Pi
3. My friend decided to get a tattoo of the symbol pi on his face.
It was an irrational decision
4. Who was the roundest knight at King Arthur's table?
Sir Cumference . but how did he get that way?
eating too much Pi.
5. I hate all these Pi jokes.
They go on forever.
With that last one I'll show myself the door.

Lie Detecting Robot

A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie.
He decides to test it out at dinner one night. The father asks his son what he did that afternoon.
The son says, "I did some schoolwork."
The robot slaps the son.
The son says, "Ok, Ok. I was at a friend's house watching movies."
Dad asks, "What movie did you watch?"
Son says, "Toy Story."
The robot slaps the son again.
Son says, "Ok, Ok, we were watching Stormy Daniels movies."
Dad says," What? At your age I didn't even know what dirty movies were."
The robot slaps the father!
Mom laughs and says, "Well, he certainly is your son."
The robot slaps the mother.
Robot for sale.

After watching Star Wars for the first time my friend said that the movie was terrible. 15 minutes later hr got hit by a truck

Cops took my driver license

My friend told me to start actually showing Up to job interviews.

That's pretty weird, i did it and they barely payed attention to the movie.

My mom told me that if I watched scary movies, the monster could come out of the TV and haunt the house..

So I only watched them at my friends' house.

BREAKING NEWS: Young man crashed into the back of a semi and died on the way to see a movie his friends recommended to him.

He didn't see the trailer.

I asked my friend if he wanted to seesaw.

He told me he can't because his mom doesn't let him watch R-Rated movies.

(Sorry if you've seen this before, my friend told it to me)

I wish I could stop quoting Bruce Willis movies.
I guess that old habits... pulp fiction.

Discussing my new-found k**... has been rough

It turns out the only thing I am s**... attracted to is final scene from the movie Heat. I've tried to talk to my friends about it
But nobody wants to hear how I came to that conclusion.

Movies

Friend 1: I just watched a film in which a man's wife is brutally murdered by a serial killer and his son is left physically disabled. In a twisted turn of events his son is kidnapped and has to chase thr kidnapper thousands of miles with the help of a mentally disabled woman.
Friend 2 : Uhhh....what was it called?
Friend 1: Finding Nemo

Friend: Did you hear about the robbery at the movie theatre the other day?

Me: No, what?
Friend: Yeah, apparently they stole more than $1000 worth of stuff
Me: Oh my god, what stuff?
Friend: 5 cokes and 10 popcorns

At the dinner table, mother shows the new lie detector she bought.

Mother: "Look, this device buzzes whenever it senses a lie"
Father: "Wow! Lets see! Hey son, what did you do today?"
Son: "Uhmm, I went to school."
*BUZZ*
Mother: "Ooh, you didn't go to class? Then what did you do?"
Son: "Alright, I watched a movie with a few friends"
Father: "Which movie?"
Son: "That new Star Wars movie"
*BUZZ*
Son (blushing): "Alright, we watched a -- well, a you-know-what movie...
Father: "Well well well son, this is very immature! At your age I didn't even know what that was!
*BUZZ*
Mother: "Haha, really a child of yours!"
*BUZZ*

My Evangelical friend is boycotting the Avengers movies, because they feature a trans gender super hero.

Confused, I asked him what he meant, and he replied "because Tony Stark loves to turn into a Fe-male."

I'm trying to convince my wife to upgrade our yard so I wanted to show her on my chromecast people having fun on terraces so I yelled "Hey google, show me a movie of a wife enjoying a big deck with her friends" but I think google misheard me.

I just made it up after a couple of glasses

Friend: A cannibal took my wife to see a Russell Crowe movie.

Me: Gladiator?
Friend: No, I really miss her.

While discussing horror movies, my friend asked me who my favorite monster from film is.

Me: "Hmmm that's a tough one. I think I'd have to go with the vampire from Sesame Street."
Friend: "What!? He doesn't count."
Me: "Oh I assure you, he does."

idk what to put the title as

A man buys a lie detector robot that slaps people who lie.........
The man decided to try it out at dinner.
Dad: Son, where were you during school hours?
Son: At school
*The robot slaps the son*
Son: OK! I was at my friend's house watching a DVD
Dad: Which one?
Son: Kung Fu Panda
*The robot slaps the son again.*
Son: Ok! It was an e**... movie.
Dad: What!? When I was your age I didn't even know what an e**... movie was.
*The robot slaps the dad.*
Mom: HAHAHAHA. He is your son after all!
*The robot slaps the mom.*

Two elderly couples get together to play bridge every week.

The ladies are in the kitchen making snacks and the old guys are talking. One says to the other "we went to see a movie last week and it was excellent but I can't remember the name of it. I thinks it's uhhh... what's the name of the flower with the red petals and the thorns?" His friend answers "a rose?"
"That's it! HEY ROSE! what was the name of that movie we saw last week?"