A lyft. Friends don't let friends drive drunk.
Well the jokes on them – they're imaginary too...
0% of my friends are Nazis, and thats a good percentage.
It was an incredibly hurtful thing to say and it completely ruined our bath.
Apparently, I was only supposed to name one, not two.
I really hope it's Todd, he's cute.
Dad and Son are in the living room when dad feet's get cold. "Get my slippers from upstairs" He says.
While upstairs he sees two of his sisters friends so he goes up to both of them, "My Dad told me to come up here and fuck both of you".
"You're lying" they retort.
Okay, I'll prove it then, "Dad, did you say both of them?"
"what's the point of fucking one".
I don't know why.
I SHOULD NEVER HAVE NAMED 2 FRIENDS!
I told her, if I lost 50 pounds I'd be talking to your friends!
His friends described him as a warm and pulpy man who loved his wife and pelicans. He will be deeply pooped.
They're like, "Hey, what's your friends name?" Never works on me ladies.
Apparently "ditto" wasn't the correct response.
Thanks for the updates friends, I just don't know how people get those yellowish stars and would really like to learn.
[edit] Thank you for the gold kind stranger.
It's almost as if they have become trans-parent.
She was in for a shock, when they all disagreed.
Friends.
His friends see him and say, Hey man, what are you supposed to be?
He replies, Oh, I'm dressed as a turtle.
His friends respond, A turtle? How are you a turtle? Who's that woman on your back?
The man replies, Oh that's just Michelle.
..my friends and family are worried, but I'll be 0K
I got a lot of abuse from the relatives about my floral tribute in the shape a life jacket. But as I told everyone "It's what he would have wanted"
I'll fuck their boyfriends
She said "Yes!". I said "Good, because I'm breaking up with you."
In my group of friends I'm pretty sure it's Marc. He's really cute
After honeymoon they throw a party celebrating their marriage...
After a few drinks, billionaire's friends want to know the secret of how he landed 25 yo hottie..
"It's simple" billionaire boasts...
"I faked my age"
"Yes, but even for a 40/45 years old guy...she is sensational, what age btw did you tell you are?" A friend asks.
With a smile on his lips billionaire responds
"85 years old"
She hung up, told me not to worry. He told her he was gonna be late, he was out drinking with me.
Because his whole life he's Ben Solo
Son: Well would you talk to someone who is stupid, uses drugs and is an alchocolic?
Mom: Of course not.
Son: Well neither would he.
they told me she was imaginary, but the jokes on them, because they are too.
It's called 'Facebook'
Imagine her surprise when they all disagreed.
Idiots. I'm gay because I like cock
"What would your friends say are your weaknesses?"
"I don't have any!" Was my reply.
The interviewer seemed a little surprised and answered: "That can't be true. Everybody has some weak points."
Whereupon I said: "Oh no. You got that wrong. I meant I don't have any friends."
My friends were worried, but I'll be 0K
Thoughts and prayers.
I was in the living room with my dad when his feet got cold. He told me, "Get my slippers from upstairs". When I went up, I see two of my sister's friends and said, "My dad told me to come up here and fuck both of you."
"You're lying."
"I'll prove it." I said, and shouted, "Dad, did you say both of them?"
"What's the point of fucking one?"
She said, "If you lost a few kgs, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right."
I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."
Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Friends? Well, here are the best Friends dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Friends pick up lines to share with friends.