Following is our collection of invite humor and pal one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Friends puns for adults, dirty out of state friend jokes or clean best friends gags for kids.
There is an abundance of guys jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 61 funniest jokes on friends. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any three friends witze you can hear about friends.
A lyft. Friends don't let friends drive drunk.
At age 40, success is having money.
At age 55, success is having sex.
At age 70, success is having a driver's license.
At age 75, success is having friends.
At age 80, success is not pooping your pants.
At age 100, success is being alive.
Well the jokes on them â they're imaginary too...
0% of my friends are Nazis, and thats a good percentage.
It was an incredibly hurtful thing to say and it completely ruined our bath.
Apparently, I was only supposed to name one, not two.
I really hope it's Todd, he's cute.
A woman went out and did not return home. On the next day she told her husband that she had slept at her friend's house. Not believing her, the husband called 10 of her best friends and none of them knew what he was talking about.
A man went out and did not return home. On the next day, he told his wife he had slept at his friend's house. Not believing him, the wife called 10 of his best friends. 8 of them confirmed that he had spent the night there and the other 2 said he was still there.
I don't know why.
I SHOULD NEVER HAVE NAMED 2 FRIENDS!
I told her, if I lost 50 pounds I'd be talking to your friends!
His friends described him as a warm and pulpy man who loved his wife and pelicans. He will be deeply pooped.
They're like, "Hey, what's your friends name?" Never works on me ladies.
Apparently "ditto" wasn't the correct response.
Thanks for the updates friends, I just don't know how people get those yellowish stars and would really like to learn.
[edit] Thank you for the gold kind stranger.
It's almost as if they have become trans-parent.
Friends.
His friends see him and say, Hey man, what are you supposed to be?
He replies, Oh, I'm dressed as a turtle.
His friends respond, A turtle? How are you a turtle? Who's that woman on your back?
The man replies, Oh that's just Michelle.
..my friends and family are worried, but I'll be 0K
I got a lot of abuse from the relatives about my floral tribute in the shape a life jacket. But as I told everyone "It's what he would have wanted"
She said "Yes!". I said "Good, because I'm breaking up with you."
In my group of friends I'm pretty sure it's Marc. He's really cute
After honeymoon they throw a party celebrating their marriage...
After a few drinks, billionaire's friends want to know the secret of how he landed 25 yo hottie..
"It's simple" billionaire boasts...
"I faked my age"
"Yes, but even for a 40/45 years old guy...she is sensational, what age btw did you tell you are?" A friend asks.
With a smile on his lips billionaire responds
"85 years old"
She hung up, told me not to worry. He told her he was gonna be late, he was out drinking with me.
Because his whole life he's Ben Solo
Son: Well would you talk to someone who is stupid, uses drugs and is an alchocolic?
Mom: Of course not.
Son: Well neither would he.
they told me she was imaginary, but the jokes on them, because they are too.
It's called 'Facebook'
Imagine her surprise when they all disagreed.
"What would your friends say are your weaknesses?"
"I don't have any!" Was my reply.
The interviewer seemed a little surprised and answered: "That can't be true. Everybody has some weak points."
Whereupon I said: "Oh no. You got that wrong. I meant I don't have any friends."
My friends were worried, but I'll be 0K
Thoughts and prayers.
She said, "If you lost a few kgs, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right."
I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."
**I see why.**
..she is always setting booby traps!
That percentage is zero.
CROW: I was with a group of friends
COP: What would you call that group?
CROW: âĶI want a lawyer
In an explosion.
I hope it's Michael. Hes cute.
It's called Facebook.
A woman doesn't come home one night. The next day she tells her husband that she had slept over at a girlfriend's house.
The husband calls his wife's 10 best friends. None of them know anything about it.
A man doesn't come home one night. The next day he tells his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house. The wife calls her husband's 10 best men friends. Eight of them confirm that he had slept over, and two claim that he was still there.
Joke's on them, so are they!
During a party, a doctor is telling a lawyer that he is sick of his friends asking him for free medical advice. The lawyer says, "just do what I do, and leave a bill in their mailbox." The doctor decides he'll give that a try and thanks his lawyer friend. When the doctor gets home, he has a bill in his mailbox from the lawyer.
She says "I have a boyfriend", he says "I have a math test".
The girl says "What's that got to do with anything?", he replies "I thought we were just naming things we are going to cheat on."
And brought it to a table of friends.
But I can't. I'm on a roll now
Everyone knows the more Ohms- the greater the resistance.
It's a small scale operation
Because he 's married.
Son: Well, would you be friends with someone who was stupid, took drugs and was drunk all the time?
Mom: No, Never!
Son: Well neither would he!
Jokes on them, they're imaginary too.
Walter: Hey son I bought you a pizza so you can share it with your friends.
Flynn: Thanks dad, how much do I owe you?
Walter: It's on the house.
They all laughed at me and told me she is isn't real.
Well Jokes on them because neither are they
And five of them are black.
Jill didn't come home one night. When she got home the next morning, she said she'd slept over at a girl friend's house.
Jack called ten of her best friends, but none of them said she had been there.
A week later, Jack doesn't come home. The next day, he says he spent the night at a buddy's house after getting too drunk.
Jill called his ten best friends. 8 said he'd been there the night before, while 2 said he was still there.
2) Also, I don't want to be cremated.
My friends are worried, but ill be 0K
So a couple of friends of mine, one black, one white were at a protest and wondered which carbonated drink makes the police the most peaceful. Turns out it really is Pepsi. You see, my white friend went up to the front of the protest and shouted to the cops "Anybody wanna buy some Pepsi?!" and the cops were all chill and happy, some even bought a can or two. But then my black friend went up to the front and shouted "Anybody wanna buy some coke?!"
He only has followers, not friends.
So this Dr hired my friend (who's a carpenter) to do some work around the house, the doc was curiously looking over my friends shoulder as he was putting a piece of molding to cover his uneven cut. The doc said with a cavalier attitude "that's an easy way to hide your mistakes!" and without thinking, my friend replied "yeah, to hide my mistakes I don't need 6 feet of soil!"
I replied: "yeah, they came out of the closet this morning!"
In exchange for that I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner to my friends. Of course I declined because I am a person of high moral standing with strong will power. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner now available with lemon or vanilla.
Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.