Friend Ship Jokes
29 friend ship jokes and hilarious friend ship puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about friend ship that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Friend Ship Short Jokes
Short friend ship jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The friend ship humour may include short friend request jokes also.
- I used to have a beautiful house and a lovely car, until my friend introduced me to drugs.... Now, I have a Caribbean Island and a cruise ship.
- What is the favorite boat of a sailor who really values the people in his life? The friend ship
- TIL of an incident during the Cold War when American ships, fearing a Soviet attack, nearly fired on a friendly vessel. Whoops, wrong sub.
- My friend let's everyone use his Amazon account for free shipping We call him the Prime Minister
- My Friend Shipped Me To Egypt Overnight I can't believe it! Its been two days and I'm still in De-Nile.
- Let me introduce you my friends, right hook and left hook. Things on the pirate ship had become a little oversaturated.
- A sailor told his skeptical friend that he saw a ship that the crew were made up of ghosts and spirits. "Booship!" his friend said.
- You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket ... I'd miss you heaps and think of you often.
- My girlfriend's friend told us that she told her child that the Titanic sank because Jack and Rose had s**... before marriage. I told her that loose lips sink ships
Share These Friend Ship Jokes With Friends
Friend Ship One Liners
Which friend ship one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with friend ship? I can suggest the ones about friendship and school friends.
- What do you call a boat full of buddies? A friend-ship
- My friend has a thing for sinking ships They go down quicker.
- Friend: Did you hear? Two Norwegian ships had a mid sea collision Me: Norway!
- What's the strongest ship ever? friend**ship**^.....hhaaha
Friend Ship Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about friend ship you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean friends forever jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make friend ship pranks.
Trading places
On a ship the Captain and the Chief Engineer were having a friendly argument as to who had the most important job. So they agreed to exchange jobs for the next day.
After a few hours the Captain, covered in oil and sweat, called the Chief Engineer over and said, "It's no good, no matter what I do the engine won't start."
The Chief Engineer just looked at him and said, "I wouldn't worry about it. We ran aground three hours ago. "
my friend said he would buy me a game on steam if i can come up with a joke based on these subjects. if you guys could help! id be really appreciated! if not i understand this is asking a lot.
Russians,a Small Animal, an American,a Brazilian and a Cruise Ship. thanks in advance for anything any one comes up with!
I was in the middle of a lake in a canoe with my girl friend last week when suddenly the boat sprung a leak. We had to decide whether to try and get the boat back to shore or abandon ship.
We had a real row v. wade debate that day.
Three blondes stuck on a desert island.
When they find a magic lamp, after a quick rub out pops a genie.
"I shall grant you three wishes" he states.
The first blonde wished to be on a giant cruise ship.
With a click, she was gone.
The second blonde wished she was in a casino with millions to play with.
Click! She vanished.
The third blonde looked upset.
"Whats the matter" asked the genie.
"I dont want to be alone on this island, i wish my friends were back"
My friend is an avid collector of models of famous boats. He just called up the nice lady at the local hobby shop and she was able to find him a small model of the Concordia cruise ship, but she only had the one.
She said she'd put it 'aside' for him
Four sailors in the middle of the ocean had their ship crashed on an island
The villagers captured them and brought them to the leader. He looked at them ordering everyone of the 4 to bring a different kind of fruit.
Once they arrived he told them : "Put your fruit in your a**... and if you cry or laugh you are dead"
The first one had a small apple so it was smooth and easy for him.
The second one had a small banana and didn't laugh too.
The third had grape and had put it in his a**... but laughed heavily.
His friends asked him : "Why're you laughing, you have grapes, should be the easiest"
He replied : "While I was putting the grape in my b**... I saw the 4th guy holding a sugar cane"
I made a friend who liked model ships.
I sent him a secondhand model that I found at a garage sale along with my phone number. He texted me soon after:
Hey man, it's Jesus. You sent me a model ship and I really appreciate it but it's missing a part.
Is it the steering wheel?
Actually yeah. How did you know?
It fell out of the box but I didn't want to bother you with an envelope containing only the wheel. I'll come deliver it to you if that's okay.
No, man, it's one part, you don't have to!
Jesus, take the wheel.
A man sends some lettuce through the mail
A man likes sending random stuff to his friends through the mail because he finds it funny.
This particular time the man takes some lettuce to the post office to ship to a friend from back home.
He tries to package it up but it won't fit unless he cuts it into smaller peices. He cuts it up and stuffs it in a large envelope, however he forgets to write out and attach a shipping label. He doesn't realize his mistake at the time and brings it to the counter to send.
The postal workers says: "You can't send a salad like that, it needs adressing".
A ship went down on a reef...
There were only three survivors; a 25 year old man, a dog, and a cat.
They were washed up on a deserted tropical island. Food and water were no problem, but after a month the man started to get the urge to have s**.... As there were no other people, he was forced to choose between the dog and the cat. Naturally, he chose the dog - man`s best friend. But the cat had a jealous streak, and would always interrupt the man when he tried to have his way with the dog. The man tried all kinds of strategies, but it was no use. The cat never allowed him a chance to get it on with the dog.
Then one day, another ship went down on the reef. From this ship there was only one survivor; a beautiful 22 year old woman. She almost drowned in the surf as she made her way to the island, but the man rescued her - effectively saving her life.
The woman was so grateful that she offered to do anything for the man.
"Anything?" asked the man, already thinking about his carnal desires.
"Yes. Absolutely anything. I`ll do anything to show you my appreciation. For you are my savior," she replied.
"Well then", said the man, "I`d be delighted if you could take the cat for a walk for half an hour."
military jokes
"When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend."
--U.S. Marine Corps
"Cluster b**... from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground."
--USAF Ammo Troop
"If the enemy is in range, so are you."
--Infantry Journal
"A slipping gear could let your m203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit."
--Army's magazine of prevention maintenance
"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed."
--U.S. Air Force manual
"Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo."
--Infantry Journal
"Tracers work both ways."
--U.S. Army Ordnance
"Five-second fuses only last three seconds."
--Infantry Journal
"Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid."
--David Hackworth
"If your attack is going too well, you're walking into an ambush."
--Infantry Journal
"No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection."
--Joe Gay
"Any ship can be a minesweeper....once."
--Anon
"Never tell the platoon sergeant you have nothing to do."
--Unknown Marine Recruit
"Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you."
--Infantry Journal
"If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up with him."
--USAF Ammo Troop
An Englishman, An American and A Korean are on a ship...
The ship is in stormy waters, when suddenly a genie appears from the waves and tells them "I'm sorry, but you men will die in this storm. I have no power to prevent your death, but as some recompense I can grant you all one wish before you perish"
The three great friends begin to think before answering the genie.
The American answers first "I want the chance to sing the great national anthem of America one last time in full, and please genie allow the storm to quieten so that my friends may hear this wonderful tune and enjoy it"
The genie replies that he can grant this wish
The Korean next asks "It would make my last moments on this earth perfect if I could one last time eat the traditional food of my country, some sour and spicy cabbage soup, along with salted blood sausage and ice noodles - but I want enough so that I can share the last meal with my friends.
"It will be done" answers the genie
Finally the British man speaks up.
"Please kill me before the song and the food:"
An old sailor was out walking on the dock one day when he met a former ship mate of his.
They had not seen each other for many years so they had much to talk about and many old memories to renew.
After some time, one said to the other, "If you don’t mind my saying so, you don’t look very good, you must have experienced some bad luck."
"Yes," the other one said, "I have. You see this peg leg? Well, one day I was out on deck and my leg become dangled up in a loose line and it was so badly mangled that they had to take it off at the knee."
His friend agreed that was bad luck.
The other one continued. "You see I have a hook for a hand. One day I was out on deck when a shipmate of mine fell overboard. I leaned over as far as I could in a attempt to rescue him and as I extended my hand to him a shark took my hand off."
"My, you really did experience bad luck, the other responded, I see you have a patch over one eye, What happened to your eye?"
"Well, I was out on deck again one day and just as I looked up, a seagull that was flying over , unloaded, and got me right in the eye."
"My, My,(not real sailor talk) did that take your eye out?"
"No, that was the first day I had my hook."