Following is our collection of funniest Friend jokes. There are some friend fellow jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these friend befriend puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Because your best friend gives you space when you need it.
In the end, he came around.
Well the jokes on them – they're imaginary too...
He says the correct term is bulldozer operator.
'Mmm?'
'Not that many!'
We now call him Dr. Awkward.
It didn't help that she was still wearing them.
Or that his whole family was there.
That made the rest of his sister's funeral kind of awkward.
And who thought you could make the funeral for such a small child more awkward than it already was..
I've had a Canon printer for years.
I loved my wife Lorraine in the beginning, but for the longest time I've had a crush on my friend Claire-Lee Robins, who I know feels the same way about me. Eventually Lorraine found out about my secretive feelings, and just like that, she packed her bags and left.
I do feel bad about it all. But then I realised; I can see Claire-Lee now Lorraine has gone.
I know he means well...
He said, Thanks man, I've been practicing a lot.
You can explore friend brother reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean friend mine dad jokes. There are also friend puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Which was ironic since we were at a bus stop
"Bro, I really miss you. My wife has been pregnant for 8 months now. How about you reincarnate as my child?"
A month later, my wife gave birth to a big boy. As my child grew older each day, I realized he looks a lot like my best friend.
I'm really happy that my prayer worked.
And a Czech one too.
A Czech one too.
I really hope it's Todd, he's cute.
I said, "No. Sex that I can't tell anyone about."
My friend gave it to me as he was dying. It seemed very important to him that I have it.
So we made her marry a man she never met in order to secure a French alliance.
So I told him if he didn't stop bleeding right away, he'd die.
I replied 'Probably failing my driving test'.
But it was just my imaginasian.
She was upset that I was always beating her, and he was jealous of how much money and property I had.
I was so angry when I caught them that I flipped the game board over and left them to pick up all the pieces.
And I don't know if I should tell him.
How many "friend zoned" guys does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They just compliment it and get mad when it won't screw.
A girl says to her friend "The last time I had sex was like the 100 meter dash"
Her friend says "What, over in 6 seconds?"
"No, with 8 black men and a gun."
Yes, but is it the Catholic god you don't believe in or the Protestant one?
In the spaghetto.
Kudos to my friend who came up with this.
... and I said, yes, but they R2D2.
They said thank you. I said don't mention it.
He was high on my list of priorities
Because they're both cauldron
At his funeral, we placed a lifejacket on his coffin.
It's what he would have wanted...
He started counting but fell asleep.
After honeymoon they throw a party celebrating their marriage...
After a few drinks, billionaire's friends want to know the secret of how he landed 25 yo hottie..
"It's simple" billionaire boasts...
"I faked my age"
"Yes, but even for a 40/45 years old guy...she is sensational, what age btw did you tell you are?" A friend asks.
With a smile on his lips billionaire responds
"85 years old"
Lazy
Credit to my friend Chris
He is still in Daniel...
He's high on my list of priorities
But it was just my imagine Asian.
I know he means well...
...which was ironic because we were at a train station
He told me "thank you."
I said "don't mention it."
But then I saw the next two letters.
So he asked his friend Gary for help deciding which girl to be with.
John: I'm devoted to Kate but Edith is my dream girl, she's all I've ever wanted.
Gary: Then you should be with Edith.
John: But I love Kate and could never leave her...
Gary: Then you should stay with Kate.
John: But I also want to be with Edith, I can't miss this opportunity!
Gary: You can't have your Kate and Edith too.
"That's a grievous sin," the priest says. "Tell me: Was it Mary O'Hara?"
"No, Father."
"Was it Kate Dannaher?"
"No, Father."
"Was it Kathleen McGonigle?"
"No, Father. I don't want to say who it was."
Later, as the boy leaves the church, he sees a friend, who asks him, "How'd it go?"
He answers, "Well, I got ten Hail Marys, five Our Fathers... and three great leads."
To be honest, I should have seen the signs
All the red flags were there.
I don't know if it was because she was still wearing them or because the rest of the family was there. Either way it made the rest of the funeral very awkward.
A 60 yr old Billionaire came to the Bar with his gorgeous 25 yr old wife!
Friend: "How did she marry you?"
Billionaire: "I lied about my age!"
Friend: "You said 45?"
Billionaire: "No! I told her I was 90"
It's almost as if they have become trans-parent.
and a Czech one too. Czech one too.
i went to the liquor store on my bike and bought a bottle vodka and put it in the basket on the front...then it occoured to me that if i fall or something happens then the bottle might break. so i drank it all right there and its a good thing i did cause i fell 7 times on the way home
apparently this was posted before...i had no idea. a friend sent me a voice recording of someone telling it and i posted it ..sorry
I guess he just doesn't understand tsar chasm.
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
Friend: 'How did your date go?'
Man: 'I talked too much about my obsession with simplifying fractions'
Friend: 'That wasn't a very good idea'
Man: 'Yeah, well hindsight is 1'
He said he couldnt complain
I know he means well...
The operator asks for his location.
Jack says I'm outside 28 Eucalyptus Road .
The operator knows there is no room for error and for clarity asks, "How do you spell that?"
There's shuffling and sounds of straining at the other end of the phone. Jack? says the operator, concerned. More shuffling and grunting.
Sorry about that says Jack. I just dragged him 'round to 1 Oak Street
"That's nuts!" I exclaimed.
Says the teacher to a student's parent at a school gathering.
-- Did he say where he got it?
-- Yes! His best friend gave it to him.
The father, cleaning his tears:
-- Did he really say that?
The friend goes upstairs and sees the paralyzed man's two sexy 17 year old daughters.
He says, Your father sent me up here to have sex with you.
One of the girls replies, That couldn't possibly be true!
The man says I'll prove it and then yells towards the stairs, Both of them?
The paralyzed man yells back Of course both of them!
He keeps saying, At least I have a real friend.
**I see why.**
"Last night, even after having 7 drinks I felt confident to drive, but l acted responsibly & took an Uber."
400 Likes, 40 Comments. But the best comment was from his best friend:
"Where did you go in UBER bro, party was in your house"
At his funeral we got him a wreath in the shape of a lifebuoy. It's what he would've wanted.
So she would have to speak loudly and slowly.
I told my mother that my new girl friend is disabled. Now we wait.
But that's his story, and he's sticking to it.
My wife's still really angry about it but me and Dave were drunk and thought it was a great idea
"Shhh" I said "There's nothing to confess. Everything is alright."
"No, I must die in peace" he said, "I had sex with your sister, your best friend and your co-worker."
"I know" I whispered, "That's why I poisoned you... Now close your eyes."
We are from the south so things are going good.
The girl I'm going out with insist on calling me just friend instead of boyfriend
... but you can't count Missouri twice.
Honestly, I should have seen the signs.
He's now Dr.Awkward.
A man is sitting in a cafe when suddenly someone he knows comes running to him in panic shouting "Quick, your wife is cheating on you with your best friend in the forest". The man runs out of the cafe angry and furious to see for himself and returns after a short while and sits back down on his chair. The people in the cafe and the guy that told him are confused and ask what happened. The man says "this son of a bitch was just exaggerating, firstly, it was just a couple of trees he made it out like it was a forest, secondly, best friend he says?! It turns out I don't even know the guy". Thank you
"Yesterday my wife ran off with my best friend..."
"With who?"
"Thomas."
"But since when is Thomas your best friend?"
"Since yesterday."
I have this friend who went to Harvard and he just won't shut tf up about it. He's always been like this, even when we were in college together.
He can't take it, but he can dish it out.
Imagine spending all that money with nothing to chauffeur it
I know he means well.
I replied "piece of cake"
Boy: Me and a friend of mine are going to buy some glasses.
Girl: And after that?
Boy: And after that we'll see.
What do you do if you see an Epileptic having a fit in the bath?
Throw in your laundry.
The guy behind us leaned over and said "I think that's disgusting. My son died in the bath whilst having a fit."
We both went white and apologised. The guy got up to get off and said, "he choked on a sock."
"Woah where did you get such a nice bike?" his fellow engineering student asked.
"I was walking down the street last night and this girl on her bike came up to me started taking off her clothes and said 'its all yours' so I just took the bike" he said.
His friend replied "Good choice bro the clothes probably didn't even fit you"
I just flew in yesterday the African man says And boy are my arms tired!
You know, that's kind of an old joke here in America replied his friend.
Joke? The African man said. I've been holding my hands in the air yelling 'don't shoot' ever since I got to this damn country .
So, I sent him a 'Get well Soon' card.
To make sure his friend was feeling... alt-right.
Feel free to downvote me to reddit hell...
The first says, "My son is so successful, he's VP of his company and just gave his best friend a car. "
The second says, " That's nothing, my son is CEO of his company and just gave his best friend a house."
The third says, "Well, my son owns 3 highly profitable companies and just gave his best friend a jet."
They look expectantly at the last guy who says, "My son is a gay escort who gets showered with love and admiration. He just got a car, a house, and a jet from three of his clients."
I told him "it's okay, the pay is crap but the percs are great!"
I don't know how to help my friend.... he's addicted to drinking brake fluid.
When I confront him he just tells me he "can stop any time he wants."
Dad.
There's no ballroom.
Friend told me this a couple years ago. I was reminded today, by wearing skinny jeans and tugging at my crotch the entire time.
He's a singer songwriter or sew it seams.
Friend: "What are you going to give your mother-in-law for her birthday?"
Me: "Her son back!"
I said, Hope there are no hard feelings.
One saw her boyfriend coming up the street with a bunch of flowers.
"Oh great" she said. " Now I'll have to lay on my back with my legs spread all weekend."
Her friend replied "Why ? Don't you have a vase ?"
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the friend best friends jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working friend out of state friend piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.