Friend Jokes

Funniest Friend Short Jokes

Short friend jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The friend humour may include short partner jokes also.

1. Why is girlfriend one word but best friend is two words? Because your best friend gives you space when you need it.
2. My flat-earther friend decided to walk to the end of the world to prove it's flat! In the end, he came around.
3. When a girl changes her clothes in front of you, she's either really interested or you're level 99 friend-zoned Or she hasn't spotted you in the tree yet
4. What do you call a drunk guy trying to start his car? A lyft. Friends don't let friends drive drunk.
   
5. My friends laughed at me when I told them I had a hot date and they said she was imaginary...
   Well the jokes on them – they're imaginary too...
6. My friend gets really upset when I call him a flat-Earther He says the correct term is bulldozer operator.
7. A Roman soldier is bragging to his friend: 'You'll never guess with how many women I've slept!' 'Mmm?'
   'Not that many!'
8. My nerdy friend just got a phd on the history of palindromes. We now call him Dr. Awkward.
9. Today one of my friends told me I often make people uncomfortable by violating their personal space. It was an incredibly hurtful thing to say and it completely ruined our bath.
10. My friend claims he can build a gun using his new 3D printer, but I'm not impressed. I've had a Canon printer for years.

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Friend One Liners

Which friend one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with friend? I can suggest the ones about neighbor and buddy.

1. My friend wanted t know how I got all my karma I replied "piece of cake"
2. I have a russian friend who's a sound technician And a Czech one too.
   A Czech one too.
3. I'm really good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know why.
4. I asked my North Korean friend how it was there He said he couldnt complain
5. If men call short women petite. What do women call short men? Friends.
6. In Europe, they don't call it the "Friend Zone" They call it the "Pal Region"
7. I froze myself to -273.1°C ..my friends and family are worried, but I'll be 0K
8. A friend of mine, a mother of four, refused to have her children vaccinated.
9. "When I eat alphabet soup, I only eat..." the vowels."
   Friend: "Why?"
   Me: "Sometimes."
10. Why does Kylo Ren have no friends? Because his whole life he's Ben Solo
11. My friend asked me if the new Star Wars was in 3D... ... and I said, yes, but they R2D2.
12. I once thought I had a Japanese friend. But it was just my imagine Asian.
13. When I moved into my igloo, my friends threw me a house warming party Now I'm homeless
14. I froze myself to -273.1 degrees Celcius... My friends were worried, but I'll be 0K
15. When I was a kid I thought I had a Chinese friend But it was just my imaginasian.

Bad Friend Jokes

Here is a list of funny bad friend jokes and even better bad friend puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• My friend is losing his mind over missing a piece of his 5000 piece puzzle If he thinks thats bad, I'm missing 4999 pieces
• When they start with the punchline. How do you know if your friend is a bad comedian?
• I have a Chinese friend with really bad internet His name is Hai Ping
• Two best friends meet. "I have two bad news" says one to the other... "OK, combine them."
  "Your wife is cheating on us."
• I don't get why people say that North Korea is bad My friend lives there, and he can't complain about anything.
• When I was a kid, I only had two friends and they were imaginary. It was too bad they only ever played with each other.
• I have some bad eye puns. But my friend's are cornea.
• BAD MATH JOKE TIME. For pi day, my friend was selling pies as a fundraiser, so because I love pie, I decided to buy two.
  I went from 0 to 2π.
  I went absolutely nowhere.
• I recently learned that anecdotal evidence is not scientifically valid A few friends told me how badly it went for them.
• My friends tell me I have bad memory, but jokes on them... My friends tell me I have bad memory, but jokes on them...

Mean Friend Jokes

Here is a list of funny mean friend jokes and even better mean friend puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• My friend keeps saying "cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water" I know he means well...
• The other day my friend was telling me i didnt know what irony meant Which was ironic since we were at a bus stop
  
• My wife left me for my best friend. Well, I mean now he's my best friend.
• I cooked a medium-rare steak for my friend, and he said, I like it Well Done. I said, Thanks buddy. That means a lot.
• I went up to my Hispanic friend and said Mucho. It means a lot to him.
• I just read harry potter for the first time and i think its a little unrealistic I mean a ginger with 2 friends??
• One time a friend called me average... to which I replied, you're mean.
• My friend was in a comma The doctor said "Do you mean coma?" and I replied "No, it's just a short rest."
• A guy asks his friend "How much would it cost to buy a singing ensemble?" The friend replies with "You mean a choir?"
  To which the man says "Sorry, how much to acquire a singing ensemble?"
• My friend says he's doing good he means well

What My Blonde Friend Did Jokes

Here is a list of funny what my blonde friend did jokes and even better what my blonde friend did puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• A blonde was talking to her redhead friend about her boyfriends dandruff problem... The redhead says "why don't you give him head and shoulders."
  The blonde replies "how do you give shoulders?"
• A blonde does an IQ test Her friend asks her how it went. " Don't worry, it came out negative"-she replies
• I was sleeping with two twins for while in my 20s.... My friends all asked, "how can you tell them apart?" I replied, "well...Sharon has long blonde hair, and Derek has a beard."
• "Did you know that Christmas day falls on a Friday this year?" said one blonde to another. "Oh dear!!" her friend replied, "I hope it's not the 13th?"
• I used to have a friend with the most beautiful blonde hair I haven't seen them in so long and I really hope they didn't dye
• My blonde friend got breast implants I used to call her " little Connie", now she's just "Silicone"
• I recently told my blonde friend that my grandfather kicked the bucket the other day. She asked, "Is his foot okay?"
• Why can't a blonde dial 911 She can't find the eleven.
  Not sure if someone already posted this joke but a friend told me so I had to post it.
• So I was talking to my blond friend I was telling her that I was named after a character from a tv show.
  She replied: "What was their name?".
• "Thank god I lost my horse!", shouted a blonde. Surprised, her friend asks "Why are you so happy about it?".
  "Well" says the blonde "If I was riding it, I would have been lost too!"

Friend Birthday Jokes

Here is a list of funny friend birthday jokes and even better friend birthday puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Girls, if a guy remembers your birthday, saves your pictures knows what you enjoy and understands your family and friends, This guy is not your man.
  This guy is Mark Zuckerberg.
• I got my best friend a fridge for his birthday, I can't wait to see his face light up when he opens it.
• My daughter wanted a Cinderella themed birthday party, So I made her and all her friends clean the house.
• A friend of mine and I were both born on 4/20. We always have a joint birthday party.
• Harry was blind... ... His friends bought him a silver-coated nutmeg grater for his birthday. When they asked how he liked it, he said it was the most violent story he'd ever read.
• For his birthday, I got my friend a telepathic abacus. It's the thought that counts.
• my friends gave me dirt for my birthday I really appreciated the sediment
• My lesbian friend and her girlfriend gave me a watch for my birthday Which is great and all, but that's not what I meant when I said "I wanna watch"...
• So today... I asked a friend when their birthday was. They told me March 1st
  So I stood up, walked around the room and asked again
• I bought my epileptic friend a strobe light for his birthday. He's going to have a fit when he sees it.

Friend Zone Jokes

Here is a list of funny friend zone jokes and even better friend zone puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• The Friend zone. It's like being turned down for a job, then they call you a week later complaining about the person they hired.
• Me and a friend go in a bar... My friend who is homosexual was high, so he was looking zoned out.
  The bartender asked why he looked confused. I said because he wasn't thinking straight.
• With all this controversy about being friend zoned made me nervous,so one day I bent down and hugged my best friend and told her I love her,and she licked my face and wagged her tail!
• How many guys in the friend-zone does it take to change a light bulb? Zero, they just keep complimenting it and complain when it doesn't screw.
• What is the friend zone? It's the space between girlfriend and girl friend.
• What's the difference between high school and the friend zone? I have a chance of making it out of high school.
• How to not feel sad when you are friend-zoned? Asking for a friend.
• Autocorrect has friend zoned me. It said that it loves me like a brothel.
• I was trying to get out of the friend zone with a girl. She put me in the brother zone... Good thing I live in Alabama!
• Do you guys know the difference between "girlfriend" and "girl friend?" ... that little empty void in the middle..
  Known as the "friend zone" ..

Ridiculous Friend Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter

What funny jokes about friend you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean daughter jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make friend pranks.