Friend Birthday Jokes

98 friend birthday jokes and hilarious friend birthday puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about friend birthday that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Friend Birthday Short Jokes

Short friend birthday jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The friend birthday humour may include short daughter birthday jokes also.

  1. Girls, if a guy remembers your birthday, saves your pictures knows what you enjoy and understands your family and friends, This guy is not your man.
    This guy is Mark Zuckerberg.
  2. I got my best friend a fridge for his birthday, I can't wait to see his face light up when he opens it.
  3. My daughter wanted a Cinderella themed birthday party, So I made her and all her friends clean the house.
  4. I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday... He said that it was the most violent book he'd ever read.
  5. Harry was blind... ... His friends bought him a silver-coated nutmeg grater for his birthday. When they asked how he liked it, he said it was the most violent story he'd ever read.
  6. My smoking hot, lesbian best friends got me a Rolex for my birthday. I guess they misheard me when I said I wanna watch.
  7. My lesbian friends just got me a Rolex for my birthday. I think they misunderstood me when I told them "I wanna watch."
  8. Blind friend and a cheese grater I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. A week later, he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.
  9. My lesbian friend gave a me a Rolex for my birthday. I don't think she understood when I said: "I wanna watch."
  10. For my birthday my friends got me a sweater. I would have preferred a screamer or moaner, but a sweater was fine.

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Friend Birthday One Liners

Which friend birthday one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with friend birthday? I can suggest the ones about wife birthday and birthday celebration.

  1. I got an iPad for my birthday from my Chinese friend. Nothing beats a homemade present!
  2. A friend of mine and I were both born on 4/20. We always have a joint birthday party.
  3. For his birthday, I got my friend a telepathic abacus. It's the thought that counts.
  4. my friends gave me dirt for my birthday I really appreciated the sediment
  5. My two best friends were born on 4/20... They have a joint birthday party
  6. Dad! My friend gave me a cheese grater for my birthday! That's grate, son.
  7. My friend called me 'Curiosity' Because I'm the only one who celebrates my birthday
  8. Today is my friend's birthday... I'll never forget.
  9. A guy hires a stripper for his friend's birthday It's the thot that counts.
  10. My Islamic friend had a birthday party... It was a blast!

Friend Birthday Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about friend birthday you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean dad birthday jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make friend birthday pranks.

What do cows sing at their friends birthday parties?
"Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo."

It's always a good idea to make friends with babies. That's free cake once a year for a lifetime.

I've never enjoyed my surprise birthday parties because all I can think about is how good my friends are at lying to my face.

My daughter learned to count!

My daughter woke me around 11:50 last night. My wife and I had picked her up from her friend Sally's birthday party, brought her home, and put her to bed. My wife went into the bedroom to read while I fell asleep watching the Braves game.
"Daddy," she whispered, tugging my shirt sleeve. "Guess how old I'm going to be next month."
"I don't know, beauty," I said as I slipped on my glasses. "How old?"
She smiled and held up four fingers.
It is 7:30 now. My wife and I have been up with her for almost 8 hours. She still refuses to tell us where she got them.

Dave and his Bob-Ross-Obsessed friend were playing chess.

Dave made a move, and immediately regretted it.
Dave went "whelp, that was a mistake."
His friend immediately shot back "It wasn't a mistake, just a happy accident."
Dave's brother in the next room over heard and replied, "Stop talking about me!"
(My best friend's son came up with this, happy birthday Dave!)

Happy Birthday Henry

Old widower Henry is celebrating his 80th birthday in the retirement home, and his friends decide to hire a h**... to entertain him. So early that evening, a beautiful blond shows up at his door, and says "HI, I'm Susie, and I'm here to give you super s**...."
Henry looks her over, thinks for a minute, and says "Eh, I'll take the soup."

I got a divorce for my birthday.

When I woke up, my wife and kids forgot to wish me a happy birthday. I didn't get any birthday cards or phone calls. When I went into work my secretary wished me happy birthday and I felt really special.
We went out for a drink after work to celebrate and she invited me back to her place. She excused herself for a minute an went into her bedroom and returned with my wife, kids and all my friends.
I was sitting on the couch n**....

I'm your Birthday Present

It was Jim's 75th Birthday, his friends decided to give him a h**... for his Birthday.
The h**... went to his house and knocks on the door. Jim answers, she says "Hi I'm your birthday present!"
A little startled, he asks "What am I supposed to do with you?"
"I'm yours for supersex" she answers.
Jim replies "Well, I'm 75 years old, so I'll just have the soup."

I bought my epileptic friend a strobe light for his birthday.

He's going to have a fit when he sees it.

Two friends lived in houses across from each each other

One day they were talking and the first friend said: "I'm gonna give you curtains for your birthday"
- "Why curtains?"
- "So I don't have to see you doing your wife all the time"
- "Ah well, I'm gonna give you binoculars for your birthday"
- "Um, why binoculars?"
- "Well, so you can see who's wife I'm doing"

My friend told me he's into really twisted women

so I took him to a Möbius s**... club for his birthday

At the end of my 21st birthday meal, I mentioned to my dad that the waiter had been really friendly and accommodating.

So he hands him a 100 euro note and goes, "As the l**... said to the p**..., 'You can keep the tip!'"

Why did Harry Potter's friends pick him up and pass him around on his birthday?

They were playing pass the Parseltongue.

Some friends, a lesbian couple...

bought me an antique gold fob timepiece for my birthday. I think they mistook me when I said "I wanna watch".

It's a Jewish man's 95th birthday

His friends decided last minute they would get him a stripper. The only person available was about 70 years old.
At his party, the stripper, tassels at her knees, was giving the old man a lap dance when she said,
"Ooh baby. I'm gonna give you some supa s**... tonight!" To which he replied,
"I'll have the soup"

What did the pillar say when he forgot to wish his friend happy birthday?

I'll column later.

My friend asked me if I had a blast on my birthday.

I told him I had such a blast, ISIS would have been proud!

My friend's son wanted to be a "Super-Pirate" for his birthday...

But after running against the door he discovered that even a "Super-Pirate" only needs one eyepatch

A friend wanted "cold hard cash" for his birthday

So I gave him a $20 bill inside of a chunk of ice.

When I was in college I agreed to go out dancing at a club with some pals for my friend Eileen's birthday...

I don't really like to dance, so they had to twist my arm a bit, but when I got there I started to have a lot of fun.
They played "The Twist" and I did the twist!
They played "The Hustle" and I did the hustle!
Then they played "Come On Eileen"...

Birthday Party

My friend's college mentor told her this story:
"So, my friend turned 32 last week, and we wanted to do something for his birthday so we put together a really quick party, only about half a minute long, and when the party ended, he was really confused and asked about the length of the party."
It was his thirty second birthday.

My birthday present from my friendly Lesbian neighbors

So it was my birthday and I'm really good friends with the lesbian couple next door. I told them what I was wanting this year and they ended up giving me a brand new gold Rolex. I was disappointed to say the least.
I think they misunderstood me when I said "I wanna watch"

A friend once gave me a birthday card, and inside it was a big fat zero.

It meant nothing to me.

I was disappointed when my friends got me a sweater for my last birthday

I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.

My friend surprised me for my birthday with a book called 'Road-Kill Recipes'

I did find some road-kill the other day, so I cooked it according to one recipe and it was delicious. I'm just not sure what I should do with the bicycle.

My friend didn't like the fridge I got him for his birthday.....

But you should've seen his face light up when he opened it.

My daughter wanted a Disney Princess birthday party…

…so I made all her friends come over and clean my house.

Juan's 20th Birthday

Juan's friends and family kept saying to him "You're 20, Juan!"
Juan was very disappointed with this, as they believed he was turning 21, not 20

"I don't know what to get my wife for her birthday"

Adam was talking to his friend at a bar. He said, "I don't know what to get my wife for her birthday. She has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants, so I'm stuck." His friend said, "I have an idea! Why don't you make up a certificate saying that she can have 60 minutes of great s**..., anyway she wants it. She'll probably be thrilled." So Adam decided to listen to his friend's advice. The next day at the bar, his friend said, "Well? Did you take my suggestion?" "Yes, I did," Adam replied. "Did she like it?" "Oh yes! She jumped up, thanked me, kissed me on the forehead, and ran out the door, yelling, "I'll be back in an hour!"

it was my friends birthday last week, so i bought him a refrigerator......

you should have seen his face light up when he opened it.

I bought my wife a beautiful diamond ring for her birthday.

A friend of mine said, I thought she wanted one of those pretty 4-wheel drive vehicles?
She did, I replied, But where in the world was I going to find a fake jeep!

On my birthday, my friend messaged me in short, "HBD HBD HBD" So on his anniversary I messaged him, "HA HA HA" 😉😜😂 And he blocked me..😳 Did i say anything wrong..?🤔😉


I had brought up the idea of a t**... several times to my wife. So on my birthday, she relented and asked which of her friends I would like. I didn't know I was only supposed to name one.

Me talking about my failed birthday party

Me: the only person who didn't pull out was the one person I wanted to
Friend: who was that?
Me: my dad

For my birthday, my friend bought me a book called, "Road Kill Recipes". As luck would have it, the very next day, I came across some road kill, so I cooked it according to one of the recipes in the book and it was delicious...

I'm just not sure what I should do with the bike...

I took two protons and two neutrons to my friend's birthday

That's what makes a party cool

After his birthday party, a little boy goes to his mother

Son: Mom, you need to act funnier, especially in front of
my friends. You never make jokes!
Mother: I made you

I was going to make a vegetable stew for my friends birthday since his buddy didnt show up...

Apparently he didnt like his disabled friend in his meal.

What did h**... say to his jewish friend schwitz when he couldnt come to his birthday party?

Awww schwitz!

I was feeling pretty down on my birthday...

... Because I hadn't had any luck with the ladies recently. A friend of mine told me that he could set me up with someone, and I got pretty excited. He showed me a picture, and I got even more excited. Then he told me she wasn't "girlfriend material", but would probably bang me just because it was my birthday.
I told him it's the thot that counts.

A friend gave me a really cheap dictionary for my birthday..

I couldn't find words to thank him.

I had a birthday cake and decided to share it with my friend.

I decided to cut one quarter of the cake and gave it to him and I kept the rest for myself.
He started crying and whining about how selfish I was.
Me: Alright, so if you were in my position what would you do?
Friend: If it was my birthday cake, I would give you the bigger piece and keep the smaller piece for myself because I'm not selfish.
Me: But that's exactly what I just did so what are you complaining about?

I hired a clown for my child's birthday party.

But I don't think he and his friends find Alex Jones funny.


Vladimir Putin celebrated his birthday,
but it got awkward when two of his friends got him the same country.

My daughter asked for a Cinderella themed birthday party...

So I made her and friends mop the floor and do the dishes.

A close friend asked me what I wanted for my Birthday but I don't think he ever listens.

For some reason, he got me a flashlight and subscription to lawn magazine

I should get my girlfriend a card for her birthday.

I'll make it green. I'm sure she will like it, all my friends say she must want one if she's dating me.

The 90th birthday

An elderly man is celebrating his 90th birthday down at the nursing home and all his friends decide to surprise him by getting him a present. So they wheel in this massive cake and out pops a beautiful young women who looks at the old man and says:
"Hi, I can give you some super s**...!"
So the old man says "Well uuuh... I guess I'll take the soup"

My lesbian friend just bought me a rolex for my birthday.

I don't mean to be rude, but that's not what I meant when I said "I wanna watch".

I was at my friend's birthday party, when I got a call that my astronaut son quit his job.

He just said he felt like he was misson out

My lesbian friend and her girlfriend gave me a watch for my birthday

Which is great and all, but that's not what I meant when I said "I wanna watch"...

It was my friends birthday so I bought him an elephant for his room

He said "thanks" and I replied "don't mention it"

An old man is sitting alone on his birthday in a retirement home when he hears a knock at the door

He opens it to find a beautiful woman, immodestly dressed, smiling at him. She says, "I hear it's your birthday. Your friends here have hired me to give you super s**...."
"I'm sure you're very good at what you do, miss," the man says. "But at my age, I'll take the soup."

Birthday Return

Friend: "What are you going to give your mother-in-law for her birthday?"
Me: "Her son back!"

On his 90th birthday his friends chipped in to hire a h**....

On his 90th birthday his friends chipped in to hire a h**....
She danced seductively, then sat on his lap.
She whispered in his ear "I'm here to give you super s**...!"
The man thought about it and then asked her "what kind of soup?"

Two friends were talking to each other in a bar...

"I bought my wife a diamond ring for her birthday!", one man proudly exclaimed.

"I thought you said that you were buying her a new car," the other questioned.

"Yeah, but where was I gonna find a fake car?"

My friend's birthday

My friend ordered a cake with his own portrait as icing for his birthday and then ate it all without sharing with anyone
I guess he's so full of himself

This year my wife was struggling for ideas on what to get me for my birthday.

I said that for my birthday, I would like a t**.... I've never had one before, and I would feel like less of a creep if she organized it.
She was surprisingly on-board. She said that she had a friend from college who would probably be up for it.
But I think I ruined the night when I asked her who she had in mind for the third person.

My lesbian friends got me a Rolex for my birthday

I said, "Aw, thank you. But this is not what I meant when I said, 'I wanna watch.'"

Beware of DNA tests!

In England, young Robert Keystone Townsend II, was given a DNA test from a friend for his birthday, which revealed a terrible family secret: His father was not his actual father, but still related somehow. When confronted with the question of why this horrible truth was hidden from him for so long, his parents replied that they told him hundreds of times that "Bob's your Uncle!"

One of my older friends called me the other day

He was born in the 50's and his grandson's birthday was coming up.
He was planning on getting him one of those toys that are supposed to always come back. He couldn't remember what it was called, so I reminded him.
Long story short, the boomer rang.

A man breaks into a wealthy persons house

He hears a sobbing noise coming from around the corner so he goes to check what it is. He peeks around the corner to see a body guard sobbing saying "I C c can't believe boss forgot my birthday, I thought he was m my f f friend uhoo hoo" so he turns around and goes the opposite direction desperate to escape with something. He spots a door at the end of the hallway that appears to have been left unlocked he opens to find the houses owner. He says "YOU!! How did you get past my security" the robber says "you let your guard down"

A man tells his friend, "I don't know what to get my wife for her birthday.

She has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants. I'm stumped."
His buddy says, "I have an idea. Why don't you make up a certificate that says she can have two hours of great s**..., any way she wants it. She'll probably be thrilled!"
The next day, his buddy asks, "Well, did you take my suggestion? How did it turn out?"
The man sighed. "She loved it. She jumped up, thanked me, kissed me on the mouth, and ran out the door yelling, 'I'll see you in two hours!'"

I asked my friend when their birthday was.

He said March 1st.
I stood up, walked around the room, and asked again.

An old man is celebrating his 90th birthday

And his friends pooled their money together and hired a p**... to go to his house.
The p**... knocks on the old man's door and says, "Happy birthday! I'm here to give you super s**...!"
The old man says, "I'll take the soup."

I congratulated my friend yesterday on his birthday

But then I realized I was a year too late

I bought my blind friend a cheese grader for his birthday.

A week later…
He said it was the most violent book he's ever read…