Fried Jokes

149 fried jokes and hilarious fried puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about fried that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Looking for funny fried food jokes? Check out this article for some of the best deep fried puns and one-liners about fried chicken, fried rice, eggs, fish, calamari, schnitzel, veggies, and more. Get ready for a side dish of laughter!

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Funniest Fried Short Jokes

Short fried jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The fried humour may include short cooked jokes also.

  1. A hungry traveler stopped at a monastery and was taken to the kitchen where a brother was frying chips... "Are you the friar?" he asked.
    The brother replied "No. I'm the chip monk."
  2. McDonald's has paused operations in Russia. They've successfully established a No Fry Zone.
  3. Russia might not celebrate thanksgiving but I'm pretty sure they will be frying a turkey.
  4. McDonalds has decided to close all operations in Russia They're calling it a "no fry" zone.
  5. Went to a diner with a couple I know. They started arguing. Normally, I'm not one to take sides, but they were so distracted by yelling at each other that I stole her fries and his cole slaw...
  6. What's the difference between a guy with an Arts Major, and a guy with a philosophy Major? One will ask WHY you want fries with that!
  7. How do you stop Canadian bacon from curling in the frying pan? You take away their brooms.
  8. A science graduate asks the question why? A science graduate asks the question why?
    An engineering graduate asks the question how?
    An arts graduate asks, "Would you like fries with that?"
  9. I called my wife and said that I'll pick up burger and Fries on the way home from work. I was met with stony silence. I think she's beginning to regret letting me name the twins.
  10. What's the difference between an art student and a philosophy student? A philosophy student asks you *why* you want fries with that.

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Fried One Liners

Which fried one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with fried? I can suggest the ones about frying and ding.

  1. French fries weren't cooked in France. They were cooked in Greece.
  2. Where was the first chicken fried? In Greece.
  3. The first french fries were not cooked on France. They were cooked in Greece.
  4. My bacon kept curling in the frying pan so I took away their little brooms and rocks.
  5. Why is Europe like a frying pan?? They both have Greece at the bottom!!
  6. Chinese Food is amazing but I do find it hard to believe that a chicken fried this rice
  7. What do french fries do when they met after a long time? They ketchup
  8. What do you call a Japanese deep fried mattress? A Tempura-Pedic
  9. Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because it tastes good.
  10. What is a spell that you can learn with a frying pan? Cast Iron.
  11. I like my camgirls like I like my French fries. Steaming hot and covered in oil.
  12. What do Asian pirates do? They fry pranes!
  13. What country does fried fish swim in? Greece!
    (courtesy of my ten year old)
  14. The first French fry wasn't cooked in France. It was cooked in Greece.
  15. What does a Japanese pirate say? Nothing, he's too busy frying the prane.

Fried Chicken Jokes

Here is a list of funny fried chicken jokes and even better fried chicken puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • You can't fool me. I know chicken fried rice isn't real. You expect me to believe a chicken fried this rice?
  • Why is Chick-fil-a so successful? They figured out how to sell fried chicken to white people.
  • What does a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common? When you're done with the breast and thighs, the only thing left is a greasy box to put your bone in
  • What day do chickens hate most? Fry-Day !
  • On what day of the week do chickens hide? Fry-day.
  • Whats long, black and hard to cut into? The line at ~~Kentucky Fried Chicken.~~ Popeyes
    Edit Thanks /u/SatanicOnion
  • You Know It's Hot When ... Cows are giving evaporated milk ...
    Chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs ...
    Catfish are already fried when caught ...
    Jehovah Witnesses start telemarketing ...
  • I started a fried chicken joint. In order to be halal, the chickens must be killed in the traditional Islamic manner: It's pretty hard getting the little explosive-filled vests on them, though.
  • Why do bulemics like Kentucky Fried Chicken? Because it comes with a bucket.
  • Kentucky Fried Chicken just donated a large sum of money to a hospital I heard they are calling it the Chicken Wing

Chicken Fried Jokes

Here is a list of funny chicken fried jokes and even better chicken fried puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why did the chicken cross the state line? He just had to get out of there because he heard that Kentucky fried chicken!
  • Yo Mama so poor... ...that when she goes to Kentucky Fried Chicken she licks other people's fingers.
  • What's the hardest part of making chicken fried steak? Teaching the chicken to cook
  • What do the critically acclaimed Schindler's List and the famous children's movie Chicken Run have in common? The tagline Escape or die frying .
  • What day of the week do chickens hate the most? Fry-day
  • What did the monk use to make fried chicken? A deep friar.
  • I always eat at this fried chicken place, the Cool Clucks Clan My only criticism is that they don't serve dark meat
  • What day are chickens scared of? Fri-day.
  • What did the Korean fried chicken wing say to the fried chicken leg? Boy, I wish I could fry.
  • Why does KFC only sell christian chicken? Because the muslim ones are on the no-fry list.
Fried joke, Why does KFC only sell christian chicken?

Fried Egg Jokes

Here is a list of funny fried egg jokes and even better fried egg puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What does a Chinese bear fry eggs in? A pan, duh!
  • Two eggs in a frying pan One says to the other; wow! It's warm in here!
    The other replies Argh!!! A talking egg!
  • [Bad joke] How does a Marine like his eggs? Semper-fried!
    (Bring on the booings and the beatings)
  • My 5-year-old boy made up this joke all by himself: What do you call fried eggs? A dead Humpty Dumpty.
  • My Egg died. He died last fry day. Thank God he wasn't beaten.
    Don't worry he went over easy.
    He's now on the sunny side.
    He's definitely in a better plate...
  • What's it called when you fry up an egg with a bunch of different ingredients? Omelette you figure it out
  • I am on a diet and my friend asked me how it's going "Not good." I said. "I had eggs for breakfast."
    "Fried?" He asked.
    "Chocolate!" I replied
  • This is no yolk A man walks into a bar with a fried egg on his head.
    The bartender asks, "Why have you got a fried egg on your head?"
    The man replies, "Because boiled eggs fall off
  • Only the immature will laugh A sausage and an egg are frying in a pan.
    "It's a bit too hot in here for me, mate." The sausage says to the egg.
    The egg screams, "Ahh! A talking sausage!"
  • If you had a Fried Egg for breakfast yesterday, what should you have today? A Sattered Egg.

Deep Fried Jokes

Here is a list of funny deep fried jokes and even better deep fried puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Where do cannibals go to eat deep fried food? The battered women's shelter
  • Man: Why should I stop eating deep fried cheese because you heard something in your horoscope? Doctor: Once again, it's stethoscope.
  • What do science and deep fried food at the Texas State Fair have in common? At their core, both concepts ask if you could but not if you should
  • What do you get when you grind up Kim Jung Un's junk, mix in some shredded potatoes, ball them up and deep fry them? dicktator tots
  • Modern food, I just don't get it. I mean, Japanese-style batter and deep fry, I've no quarrel with that. But then they start applying this to these giant salt-water eels...
    *O tempura! O morays!*
  • What do you call a deep fried underwater cow? Cowamari.
  • My brother told me this (US Politics) The reason why Americans need so much oil is so they deep-fry all their food.
  • I tried to deep fry my turkey this year but it went horribly wrong Boom. Roasted.
  • My friend got really angry with me the other day when i started talking about deep fried chocolate bars! I didn't realise it was such a hot topic
  • Did you hear that Snoop Dogg and Sean Connery like to get together twice a month and deep fry various objects? Fo' shizzle.

Fried Rice Jokes

Here is a list of funny fried rice jokes and even better fried rice puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Every time I go to dinner with my parents, they constantly argue about the mashed potatoes, rice or french fries... And I always tell them that I'm not choosing sides…
  • I never order shrimp-fried rice. Call me old fashioned, but I like my food to be prepared by a human.
  • A shrimp fried this rice joke What did the fried rice say to the shrimp?
    Don't wok away from me!
  • Asian stereotype joke An Asian man walks up to a fast food restaurant for takeout.
    He says "Flied lice please."
    He leaves but comes back a minute later
    "This is fried rice, I ordered flied lice."
  • Why are Asians such bad drivers? Because fried rice can make you drowsy.
  • Ladies love me like white on rice Fried rice.
  • I've got s**... women on me like white on rice Fried rice that is.
Fried joke, I've got s**... women on me like white on rice

Howlingly Hilarious Fried Jokes for an Unforgettable Evening

What funny jokes about fried you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bread jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make fried pranks.

French Fries aren't actually fried in France.

They're fried in Greece.

Guy goes to the doctor

A guy goes to the doctor. Asks, "Hey Doc, will I live to 100? I don't drink, don't smoke, don't eat fried foods, and don't run around with loose women."
Doctor replies: "So why would you want to live to 100?"

An older couple is watching tv...

And the man stands up and says, "I'm going to the kitchen. Do you want anything?"
His wife answers, "yes, please get me some chocolate ice cream with sprinkes."
The man starts to leave, when his wife says, "Honey, are you sure you don't want to write that down, your doctor said you may need to in order to remember."
"no, no, I'm sure I'll remember what you asked for."
A few minutes later, he returns with fried eggs and toast.
His wife says, "well, see, you did need to write that down. You completely forgot my bacon!"

A couple went out to eat ...

A couple went out to eat at a nice restaurant. The waiter came over to give them the specials of the night, "For our main courses, we have a nice roasted Salmon with a Cranberry-Mustard sauce or a tender Chicken fried steak." The lady replied that she'd have the salmon.
The waiter said, "Very good, madam. What about the vegetable?"
She said, "Oh, I'm sure he'll just order the Chicken Fried Steak."

A man walked into a psychiatrist's office with a pancake on his head...

... a fried egg on each shoulder, and a piece of bacon over each ear.
"What seems to be the problem?" asked the psychiatrist.
The man said: "I'm worried about my brother."

A Kentucky Fried Chicken lobbyist meets with the Pope.

He offers a donation of ten million dollars to the church if the Pope agrees to change the words in the Lord's Prayer from give us this day our daily bread to give us this day our daily chicken
The Pope apologizes and says he is not interested.
100 million dollars , says the KFC rep.
Again the Pope shakes his head and explains that these words are sacred.
One billion dollars. This is our final offer.
After some consideration of the sum of the donation that the church is about to receive, the Pope reluctantly agrees to the deal. He then returned to the Vatican and called a meeting of all the Cardinals.
I have good news and bad news, the Pontiff said. The good news is, I have managed to secure a donation of one billion dollars to our church. The bad news is, we've lost the Wonder Bread account.

My prejudiced grandfather

One time I was reheating leftover fried rice from Chinese take-out, and I decided to mix in some basmati we had from the Indian restaurant. My grandfather smacked me on the head and told me to knock it off.
He believes in separating the rices.

Why did Aristotle hate French fries?

They were fried in ancient grease!

I suggest we all go to Russia for Christmas..

They'll have fried Turkey

My Nephew's pet chicken died.

I couldn't help asking if the f**... will be fried or roasted.

What's a computer's favourite snack?

Fried cache-ews.

I'm never buying a fish fryer from Linkin Park ever again.

I fried so hard, and got sole far, but in the end it doesn't even batter!

The prime minister of Japan finally decides to enact revenge on the US for Hiroshima & Nagasaki.

He decides to nuke the r**... and he calls it: Operation Fried Okra-homa

I used to work as a programmer for autocorrect...

...but they fried me for no raisin.

I've always wanted to try fried ghost...

I'm a big fan of soul food.

Why are radios cheaper in Scotland?

Because the boxes are battered and and the speakers are fried.

When you really want fried potatoes, just remember....

Keep your eyes on the fries

I'm opening up a snack shop in DC.

I'm opening up a snack shop in DC. We will serve things like:
Triple fudge brownie sunday with double whipped cream, only 100 calories!
Cheesy deep fried nachos, more vitamins and less fat than a salad!
I'll call my shop "Alternative Snacts".

Will there be fried foods in heaven?

Of course! God has a pan for each of us

What are our names?

A hen and her chick are having a talk.
"Why do humans have names, but us chickens don't? All we have is chicken, or hen.", asks the chick.
"Well, humans may have names when they are ALIVE, but when they are dead, they are only called ghosts.", Says the hen, "but, we have lots of names when we are dead. Such as chicken curry, fried chicken, roast chicken...."

What's the difference between funnel cake and a punk rocker's hairdo?

One is fried dough and the other is a dyed fro

What U.S. state serves the best fried okra?


Did you hear about the comedian who fell in a big vat of piping hot oil?

Gilbert got fried.
(I apologize to Gilbert.)

What has Ferris wheels, cotton candy, and delicious fried food?

That's a fair question

What do you call a fried potato with an o**... fixation?

A French Freud

Most people like their eggs fried or scrambled, I like mine baked...

in cookies, brownies and cake.

The sign in the bathroom at Kentucky Fried Chicken said...

..."Employees must lick fingers before returning to work."

What do you call a fish being fried?


Did you know french fries aren't made in France?

They're fried in Greece!

Greasy love

Don't go bacon my heart. I couldn't if I fried.

I am a fried nut

A string walks into a bar, and the bartender's all like "HEY, WE DON'T SERVE STRING IN HERE". Now obviously this makes the string very angry, so he goes outside and just goes CRAZY. He's rolling around, punching walls, hitting the ground, and by the time he's finally tired out he got himself all t**... and his ends frayed. So he walks back into the bar, and the bartender's like "HEY, ARE YOU THAT STRING FROM EARLIER?" And the string says "nope, I'm a frayed knot."

Mike, why do you have a fried egg on your head?

Mike: Because a boiled egg would just roll off

What is Wakanda's national dish?

Fried T'Chicken

TIL The first 'French Fries' weren't fried in France.

They were fried in grease.

It is my first time in court and I heard the judge shouting, "Order!!"

So I replied fried chicken, mac and cheese and cola. Now I'm being escorted out by two officers. I think we are going to a restaurant.

A hen is having a talk with its chick

Chick: Why do humans get names but we don't? We are only called hens, or chickens or roosters.
Hen: Well, WE might not get names but when we die, we have many names. Humans on the other hand, are only called zombies or ghosts.
Chick: What are we called when we die then?
Hen: Names such as, curry chicken, roast chicken, fried chicken..

I was in KFC with my bro when the lights went out...

I told him that the circuits were fried

What does a woman and Kentucky fried chicken have in common?

What does a woman and Kentucky fried chicken have in common?
A: by the time your finished with the breast and thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put the bone in.

My wife asked me if I liked fried bread coated in sugar...

Of course, I donut.

Did you hear about the auto-correct programmer who lost his job?

He was fried.

How do monsters like their eggs?

Terri- *fried*

A drunk guy gets into a taxi..

-Ehh.. 'scuse me, driver... would it be okay if.. I left a few beers, some fried chicken, 2 tequila shots and some rice on your back seat?
-(confused)Ehm, sure.
Sorry people, I had to.

I'm a 5G installation engineer and people are constantly accusing me with bizarre conspiracy theories, such as how 5G is giving them headaches, or killing their s**.... I think they are completely crazy.

4G must've fried their brains.

A single lady goes to the convenience store a buys : 12 eggs, 1L of milk and a can of fried beans.

When she's about the pay, the clerk looks at her and guesses :
\- "You must be single, right?"
The lady, visibly amused and intrigued, asks back how could he pick that up.
The clerk replies :
\-"Because you are ugly as f\*c**...."

I don't get why there are so many conspiracy theorists in the US.

5G must have fried their brains.

I tried starting a unisex cooking group focused on fried foods

But no one will join me in "The Battered Men & Women's Club"

in h**...

A man goes to h**.... They tell him:
-- You have not sinned too much, so we allow you to choose t**... yourself.
He goes into the first room and there people are fried in a frying pan. It doesn't suit him and he leaves.
In the second room needles are inserted under the nails.
It hurts too, he says and leaves.
In the third room there are men knee-deep in s**... having a smoke.
-- This is for me, although it stinks probably I have no better choice.
He gets into s**.... He takes out a cigarette, lights it.
And then he hears:
-- The smoke break is over, finish off eating!

How do great scientists like to eat their peppers?

All fried. No bell.

What do you call a s**... Canadian before the weekend?

Fried, eh?

My doctor said I had to lose some weight.....

He said, Stop eating fatty.
I asked, You mean like fried foods and bacon?
He said, No fatty, just stop eating.

What three countries did the giant eat?

Got turkey, dipped it in Greece and fried it in Japan.

My fried just got engaged to her boyfriend, Peter, and was gushing about how in love she is. Obviously the first thing out of my mouth was "oh, so you're a massive Peterphile!" Apparently that was "inappropriate" and now she's annoyed with me.

This is actually a true story, so hope it's okay that it's not in a standard joke format.

What days do Canadian stoners like the best?

I'm pretty sure they're all fried, eh?

A cannibal was walking through the jungle

and came upon a restaurant operated by a fellow cannibal.
Feeling somewhat hungry,he sat down and looked over the menu.
*Grilled Tourist: $5.00
*Broiled m**...: $10.00
*Fried Explorer: $15.00
*Baked Politician: $100.00
The cannibal called the waiter over and
asked, "Why such a high price for
politicians?" The cook replied, "Have you
ever tried to clean one? They are so full of
s**... that it takes all day!"

A cannibal attends a restaurant ran by another cannibal

Feeling somewhat hungry, he sat down and browsed the menu:
\*Grilled Tourist $5.00
\*Broiled m**... $10.00
\*Fried Explorer $15.00
\*Diced Marine $20.00
\*Baked Politician $1000.00
The cannibal called a waiter over and asked, "Why such a high price for politicians?"
The cook replied, "Have you ever tried to clean one? They're so full of s**... that it takes all day!"

Fried joke, A cannibal attends a restaurant ran by another cannibal

jokes about fried