fridge Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious fridge puns

Got home to find my wife had left a note on the fridge that said "This isn't working I'm going to my mum's"


I opened up the fridge. The light was on and the beer was cold. I'm not sure what she was talking about.

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My girlfriend left a note on the fridge

"This is not working I'm going to my mum's house."

So, I opened the fridge's door, the light came on and the juice was cold.

- What the hell did she mean?

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My wife left a note on the fridge saying, "This isn't working, goodbye."

I opened the refrigerator and it works just fine. Weird.

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I bought my girlfriend a fridge for our anniversary...

I know it wasn't a great gift, but I loved seeing her face light up when she opened it.

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My 4yr old was struggling to open his yoghurt, today.

When he suddenly mumbled, "Fucking shitty lid!". My wife immediately looked at me and said, "I wonder where he's got that from?". I said, "The fucking fridge, you silly cunt."

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I bought my son a fridge for Christmas.

I can't wait to see his face light up when he opens it.

^([I stole this from imgur comments, but I am posting it here so that you can use it today and tomorrow on people you dislike. Merry Christmas.])

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My girlfriend left a note on the fridge saying, "It's not working. I can't take it anymore. I am going to my mothers."

I opened the fridge. The light came on, the beer was cold.

What the hell is she talking about?

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My girlfriend left a note on the fridge

"It's not working. I can't take it anymore. I am going to my mom's place."

I opened the fridge.
The light came on.
The beer was cold...
What the hell did she mean?

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My missus was furious at me for kicking dropped ice-cubes under the refrigerator.

But now it's just water under the fridge.

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I bought my girlfriend a fridge for her birthday

I know its not the greatest gift, but you should've seen her face light up when she opened it.

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Two sisters

There were once two sisters, one called Petal and one called Fridge. One day, Petal asks her parents, "Why did you call me Petal?" and they replied "Because just after you were born, a petal fell on you."

"Bllaaarrarararraraaarg", says Fridge from the corner.

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A joke I heard at mass

A priest is baptizing a man. He dips him 3 times in water and says "Craig, from now on you will be known as Michael. From this day forth you are to shed your sinful ways and that includes no more gambling or alcohol"

The man later that day goes home and heads straight for the fridge. He then grabs a can of coors light and dips it in the sink. As he does it he says "from this day on, you will be known as green tea"

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BOSS: What's going on here?

BOSS: What's going on here?

JAMES: Dave's mad because he specifically labelled his sandwich in the fridge and I accidentally-

DAVE: Not accidentally, on purpose!!

JAMES: ugh ok FINE. And I, "on purpose", slept with his wife

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What do you get if you cross a highway with a fridge?

Killed.

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My wife has a body of a 12 year old..

She keeps it in the fridge.

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My girlfriend left a note on the fridge door...

It said, "this is not working. I'm going to my mothers." I opened the door. The light came on. The beer was cold. Just what in the hell did she mean?

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A horse walks into a bar and asks for a Coke

A horse walks into a bar and asks for a Coke.

The bartender is very surprised yet he picks a Coke from the fridge and puts it on the counter.

Horse: Thanks. How much?

Bartender: T... ten... d... dollars

The horse gets his wallet from the saddle and pays 10$.

Bartender: Sorry but... it's the very first time a talking horse comes into my bar

Horse: First and last. TEN DOLLARS A FUCKING COKE?

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Why do guys gain weight after marriage?

Because when they're single, they come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. When they're married, they come home, see what's in the bed, and go to the fridge...

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A little boy is trying to peel the lid off his tub of yoghurt..

He gets frustrated and yells "fuckin' lid!".

His mother turns to his father and says "where do you think he got that from?"

The father says "the fuckin' fridge you dumb cunt".

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I'm very pleased with my new fridge magnet.

So far I've got twelve fridges.

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Well... That's Australians for you

My 4-year-old was struggling to open his yoghurt today when he suddenly mumbled "Fucking shitty lid!"
My wife immediately looked at me and angrily said "I wonder where he's got that from??"
I said, "The fridge, you silly cunt."

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Why are married women heavier than single women?

When single women get home, they settle in, take a peek at what's in the fridge, and head for bed. When married women get home, they settle in, take a peek at what's in bed, and head for the fridge.

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I got my best friend a fridge for his birthday,

I can't wait to see his face light up when he opens it.

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The wife left a note on the fridge tonight,

It's not working. I can't take it anymore. I'm going to mum's. it said.

I opened the fridge. The light came on. The beer was cold. What the fuck is she talking about?

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My girlfriend left a note on the fridge:

My girlfriend left a note on the fridge: "It's not working. I can't take it anymore. I am going to my mom's place."

I opened the fridge. The light came on. The beer was cold... What the hell is she talking about?

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My wife has the body of a porn star...

..which is kind of creepy and takes up a lot of room in the fridge.

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Lunch theif

At work, I constantly found my lunch to be missing from the lunchroom fridge. I decided to get back at this thief, so I began making two lunches; one with a very strong laxative, and the other without. I hid my regular lunch towards the back of the fridge, wrote my name on both of these bags. Needless to say, weight gain and terrible diarrhea are bad ways to discover I have Alzheimer's.

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I'm very pleased with my new fridge magnet

So far I've got eight fridges

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The UK Government has decided to make LSD legal as a drug for weight loss

It makes sense if you think about it. It's kinda hard to get to the fridge when there's a dragon guarding it...

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A man gets home from work one day to find his wife is gone.

He walks in the kitchen to find a note on the fridge that reads, "This isn't working, I've packed my bags and left for my mother's." Confused, the man opens the fridge and thinks to himself, "Well, the light's on and the beer is cold. What the hell was she talking about?"

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I like how the girl that called me a loser in high school is now blowing up my phone

She sends me things like what are your plans for dinner and Your dad and I are going out for dinner there's food in the fridge

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A man stumbles home from a night of heavy drinking at the pub...

He finds his marital home empty and in darkness. In the kitchen, whilst going for another beer, he spots a note left on the fridge door.

"I'm sorry. I'm staying at my parents for now.
This isn't working anymore."

The man, curious, opens the fridge to get his beer and is greeted with the usual light and cool air.

"...what the fuck is she talking about?!"

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Married mathematicians deciding what to get from the store.

A husband and wife are mathematicians. Husband asks the wife if she needs anything from the store. She looks in the fridge and says she needs eggs.

"How many?" he asks standing right next to her.
She yells, "4!".

He wonders for a moment why she yelled, figures it out and comes back with two dozen.

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A father was sitting at the table with his two daughters

Petal and Fridge.

Petal said, "Dad, why is my name Petal?"

Her dad answered, "Because a flower petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born."

Then Fridge said, "HUURRGRRUWAHGUWAAAAAH!"

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My friend and I started replacing the word 'in' with 'inside'.

For example, if we wanted to say, "it's in the fridge", we'd instead say "it's inside the fridge".

One day, my parents caught onto this. They asked me why I was saying "inside" instead of "in".

I responded,

"it's an inside joke".

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What are the most funny Fridge jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Fridge? Well, here are the best Fridge dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Fridge pick up lines to share with friends.

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