Friday Saturday Jokes
58 friday saturday jokes and hilarious friday saturday puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about friday saturday that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Friday Saturday Short Jokes
Short friday saturday jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The friday saturday humour may include short sunday friday jokes also.
- Monday - Greg, Tuesday - Ian, Wednesday - Greg, Thursday - Ian, Friday - Greg, Saturday - Ian, Sunday - Greg The Gregorian calendar
- Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. ahh, those were the days...
- Why are Saturday and Sunday the strongest days of the week? Because Monday through Friday are weekdays.
- Why did Saturday and Sunday win the body-building competition? Because Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday are week days.
- What are the 7 Irish drinking holidays? Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday.
- I get laid almost every day of the week. Almost got laid on Monday, almost got laid on Tuesday, almost on Wednesday, almost on Thursday, almost on Friday, almost on Saturday, and almost on Sunday.
- Monday through Friday I have a friend who, Monday through Friday seems very strong, but Saturday and Sunday he's weekend.
- blonde joke Why are there so many dumb blonde jokes? it gives brunnettes and redheads something to do on friday and saturday nights!
- Friday: hunting in the dark. Saturday: hunting in the dark. Sunday: hunting in the dark. Yet another superb owl weekend.
- I gave my wife 8 inches last week. 2 inches on Monday, 2 inches on Wednesday, 2 inches on Friday, and 2 inches on Saturday.
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Friday Saturday One Liners
Which friday saturday one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with friday saturday? I can suggest the ones about saturday sunday and wednesday friday.
- Friday was a sad, odd day. But today is an even Saturday!
- What is sadder than Friday? Saturday.
- Chuck Norris watches Saturday Night Live on Friday.
- "I'm thirsty" say Jim "Well I'm Friday come over Saturday and we'll have a Sunday"
- I'm thirsty Hello Thursday, I'm Friday. Let's go out Saturday and have a Sunday
- What's the day after Black Friday called? Healing Bones Saturday
- I'm Thirsty! Hey Thirsty, I'm Friday. Wanna go out on Saturday for a Sunday?
^I'm^sorry
Hilarious Friday Saturday Jokes to Make Your Friends Roar with Laughter
What funny jokes about friday saturday you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean friday evening jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make friday saturday pranks.
Father and his 13 year old son walk into the pharmacy.
The son sees the boxes of condoms and asks: "What are these dad?"
And the father answers truthfully:
"These, my boy, are called condoms. Men use them to have safe s**...."
"Oh.. i see! the boy answers. They shown them to us at school, in the s**... education class."
Then the boy looks at a packet with 3 condoms in it and asks: "Why does this one have only 3 in it dad?"
"This, son is for high-school kids: One for Friday, one for Saturday and one for Sunday."
Then the boy looks at another packet that has 6 inside.
"What about this one? Why does it have 6 in?"
"This is for college students: Two for Friday, two for Saturday and two for Sunday."
Then the kid sees that packet with 12 inside and with great wonder asks: "And this one dad, with 12 inside?"
His father sighs and explains to him: "These my boy, are for married people. One for January, one for February…"
I work out almost every day. Friday I almost worked out, Saturday I almost worked out, Sunday I almost worked out...
Why condoms come in packs of 3, 6 and 12!
A man walks into the pharmacy with his 8-year old son.
They happen to walk by the c**... display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?"
To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called Condoms son. Men use them to have safe s**...."
"Oh I see," replied the boy pensively. "Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school."
He looks over the display and picks up a package of
3 and asks, "Why are there 3 in this package?"
The dad replies, "Those are for high school boys, one
For Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday."
"Cool" says the boy. He notices a 6 pack and asks, "Then who are these for?"
"Those are for college men," the dad answers, "two
For Friday, two for Saturday, and two for Sunday."
"WOW!" exclaimed the boy, "then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking up a 12 pack. With a sigh and a tear in his eye, the dad replies.
"Those are for married men, son. One for January, one for February, one for March..."
Why condoms come in packs of 3, 6 and 12!
A man walks into the pharmacy with his 8-year old son.
They happen to walk by the c**... display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?"
To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called Condoms son. Men use them to have safe s**...."
"Oh I see," replied the boy pensively. "Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school."
He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, "Why are there 3 in this package?"
The dad replies, "Those are for high school boys, one For Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday."
"Cool" says the boy. He notices a 6 pack and asks, "Then who are these for?"
"Those are for college men," the dad answers, "two For Friday, two for Saturday, and two for Sunday."
"WOW!" exclaimed the boy, "then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking up a 12 pack. With a sigh and a tear in his eye, the dad replies.
"Those are for married men, son. One for January, one for February, one for March..."
A chemistry professor is giving his final exam...
... he says on the friday before the final, "If you miss the final you have to have a great excuse for missing the final next monday." Two students decide to study together all weekend so all friday night they study, all saturday morning and night they study, then they study all sunday morning and decide, "We've been studing all that we can study, let's go out and relax for a while." They drive 150 miles to the next town, they get drunk and pass out later sunday night. They woke up late monday morning and realized they missed their test. They drive back and tell the profesor, "We had a flat tire and couldn't get it fix and that is why we are late." The profesor agrees that having a flat tire is a legitimate excuse. He then proceeds to put them in two seperate rooms and hands them the new test they have to retake. First question: (5 points out of 100) What is the chemical compound for sugar? "That's an easy question" the one student says. He goes and answers the question. Second question: (95 points out of 100) Which tire was flat?
A Father and his Son are walking down the c**... aisle in the pharmacy...
The son notices that condoms are sold in different numbers per pack, so he asks his Dad why. The Dad replies, "Well, son, the 3 pack is for when you're in High School. One for Friday night, and two for Saturdays. The 6 pack is for when you're in College. Two for Thursday, two for Friday, and two for Saturday." The son asks, "What about the 12 pack? I bet that's really good." The Dad says, "Oh, the 12 pack is for when you're married. One for January, one for February..."
A man walks into a drug store with his 10-year old son...
They happen to walk by the c**... display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?"
To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called Condoms son. Men use them to have safe s**...."
"Oh I see," replied the boy pensively. I've heard of that in health class at school."
He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, "Why are there 3 in this package?"
The dad replies, "Those are for high school boys, one for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday.."
"Cool" says the boy. He notices a 6 pack and asks, "Then who are these for?"
"Those are for college men," the dad answers, two for Friday, two for Saturday, and two for Sunday."
"WOW!" exclaimed the boy, "then who uses these?" he asks, picking up a 12 pack.
With a sigh, the dad replied,
"Those are for married men…
One for January, one for February, one For March......."
Three nuns go to a priest...
And they say that they each want to commit a sin before they die. They priest tells them to go commit their sins on friday, and he will hear their confessions on saturday. So the nuns go commit their sins and on saturday the first nun goes to confession. The Priest asks "What are your sins?" The nun says that she had s**... relations with a man. The Priest says "Go drink the holy water and your sins will be forgiven." The second nun goes to the priest and he also asks what her sins are. "She says that she participated in a t**.... The Priest again says "Go drink the holy water and your sins will be forgiven." The third nun goes to the priest and he says "What are your sins." The nun replies "I peed in the holy water."
A father and son are having the talk about s**...
After a few minutes, the son says, "Dad, I know all that stuff. We went over it in Health class."
Dad says, "Well, do you have any questions?"
"Yeah, I have one about condoms."
"What do you need to know?"
"When I was in the drugstore, I saw that they sell them by the dozen. Who needs that many at once?"
"That's an easy one, son. You saw that they sell packages of three. High schoolers buy those. One for Friday, one for Saturday, one for the rest of the week. They also sell packages of six. College students buy those. Two for Friday, two for Saturday, two for the rest of the week."
"OK dad, but what about the dozen?"
"Married people buy those. One for January, one for February..."
A boy is in a CVS with his dad...
A boy is in a CVS with his dad. While in line at the pharmacy, the boy notices something in a box that resembles balloons. Curious, the boy asks his dad about these balloons in the box. "Well, those are condoms, son," the boy's dad replies. "What are condoms used for, dad?" replied the little boy. "They are used so men can practice safe s**...," said the father. The boy asks his dad who would use the box of three. The boy's dad replies, "Those are for high school kids. One for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday." The boy then spots a box of six and asks his dad about those. "Those are for college kids son. They use two on Friday, two on Saturday and two on Sunday." The boy then asks, "Well what about the box of twelve?" To which the boy's dad replied, "Those are for married men like myself, son. One for January, one for February, one for March....."
A little boy and his dad were in line at the drug store
And the boy picks up a pack of condoms. He asks "what are these daddy?" And his dad says "those are for high school kids." The boy asks "why are there three?" The father says "one for Thursday night, one for Friday night, and one for Saturday night."
The boy picks up another pack and asks "why are there six in this one?" So the father says "those are for college kids. Two for Thursday, two for Friday, and two for Saturday."
The boy picks up a third pack and asks "why are there twelve in this one?" The father says "oh those are for married men. One for every month of the year."
Father and son in supermarket. "Dad, what are these?"
"That's a 3pack of condoms son for secondary school lads. 1 for Friday night, 1 for Saturday night and 1 for Sunday night."
"What about the 6pack dad?"
"Those are for University lads. 2 for Friday night, 2 for Satuday night and 2 for Sunday night."
"Well dad, what about the 12pack then?"
"Married men son. 1 for January, 1 for February, 1 for March ..."
American, English and Russian governments...
American, English and Russian governments passed laws about mandatory r**... of every citizen on Saturdays.
Americans made a revolution, Brits reelected their parliament and Russians began queing on Fridays evening not to waste the whole weekend.
A man is at the supermarket with his 7 year old son when they walk past the condoms
The boy asks: 'Daddy, what are those?', to which the man replies 'Those are condoms son'. 'What are they for?', asks the boy. His dad replies 'To, ehhm ah eh, protect you from diseases'.
'Why do they sell them in packs of 3, 6 and 12?'.
'Well, the packs of 3 are for 16 year olds. One for friday, one for saturday, and one for sunday.'
'And the packs of 6?'
'Those are for 21 year olds. 2 for friday, 2 for saturday and 2 for sunday.'
'And what are the packs of 12 for?'
'The packs of 12, my son, are for married men like me. One for January, one for February, one for March...'
COUNTING CONDOMS
A boy goes to the drug store with his dad and sees the c**... display.
Boy: "Dad, why do they do packs of one c**...?"
Dad: "Those are for the high-schoolers for Friday nights."
Boy: "So, why do they make packs of three?"
Dad: "For the college guys for Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights."
Boy: "Then why do they make packs of 12?"
Dad: "Those are for married couples -- you know, January, February, March."
A father and his 11 year old son are walking through the pharmacy one day.
As they walk past the family planning aisle, the son points to the condoms and asks "Dad, what are those?"
The father realizes his son is old enough to learn about such things, so he tells him "Well, those are called condoms. Men use them when they have s**... to be safe and not get girls pregnant."
"Okay." the son responds. "Who are those for?" he asks while pointing at the 3 pack.
"Those" the father replies, "are for men in high school: One for Friday night, one for Saturday night, and one for Sunday night"
"What about those?" the son asks pointing to the 6 pack.
"Those are for college aged men: Two for Friday, two for Saturday, and two for Sunday?" the father responds.
"And what about those?" the son asks pointing to the 12 pack.
With an air of confidence, the father looks up and says "Those, son, are for married men: One for January, one for February, one for March..."
A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son
They happen to walk by the c**... display, and the boy asks "What's are these, dad?" To which the man matter-of-factly replies "Those are called condoms, son. Men use them to have safe s**...". "Oh I see" replied the boys pensively. "Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school".
He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks "Why are there 3 in this package?" The dad replies "Those are for high-school boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday". "Cool!" says the boy.
He notices a 6-pack and asks "Then who are these for?" "Those are for college men" The dad answers "TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO for Sunday". "WOW!" exclaimed the boy.
"Then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking up a 12-pack. With a sigh, the dad replied "Those are for married men. One for January, one for February, one for March..."
Please stop calling it "Black Friday"
That's offensive. It's "African American Day Before Saturday"
Selling Condoms
An 18-yr-old starts work as a pharmacist's assistant. The pharmacist is showing the new kid around the aisles when they stop at the c**... display and the kid asks why they come in different quantities per package.
The pharmacist tells the noob that the 3-packs are for high school guy, who gets it on once on Friday night, once on Saturday and once on Sunday.
The 6-packs are for the more-experienced college guys, who do it twice each on Friday night, Saturday and Sunday.
So the kid says, "what about these 12-packs?"
The pharmacist replies "the 12-packs are for the guys who've been married for a long time - January, February, March..."
A married couple with children made a code word for s**.....
The code phrase is "Typing a letter".
So on a Friday movie night, the husband is in the mood and asks his wife around their children, "would you like to type some letters tonight?". The wife says they're watching a good movie, maybe tomorrow.
Saturday comes and the husband is now in heat, all day keeps asking to "type". Finally at night as the kids are tucked in, the wife softly asks, "I'm sorry for making you wait, do you wanna type the letter now, honey?", to which the husband replies:
"Forget it, it's been handwritten."
"Work is always dead on Friday's..."
"...and Saturday's and Sunday's and Monday's..."
~ Cemetery Worker
I have s**... almost every day
Almost on Sunday
Almost on Monday
Almost on Tuesday
Almost on Wednesday
Almost on Thursday
Almost on Friday
And almost on Saturday
A boy and his father are in the store
When they come across the section where the condoms are kept. The boy looks at them and asks his dad why they come in packs of 3, 6, and 12.
The father replies: "Well son the 3 pack is for the highschool kids, one for Friday, one for saturday, and one for Sunday. The 6 pack is for the college kids. Same principle, but 2 for friday, 2 for Saturday, and 2 for sunday."
"What about the 12 pack?" asked the son.
"Those are for the married men" said the dad proudly.
"Really?" asked the son.
"Yes indeed," said the father. "One for January, one for February, one for March........."
Kid asks is paw why do these condoms come in 3 packs?
Father: Those are for highschool boys son. One for Friday, Saturday and Sunday.
Son: Then what is this 6 pack for?
Father: Those are for college men! 2 for Friday 2 for Saturday and 2 for Sunday!
Son: WOW!! And the 12 pack of condoms?
Father: Sigh.... Those are for married men. One for January.... One for February..... One for...
I mean I get to sleep with my wife nearly every day!
I think as marriages go, we're doing absolutely awesome, I mean I get to sleep with my wife nearly every day!
Nearly on Monday
Nearly on Tuesday
Nearly on Wednesday
Nearly on Thursday
Nearly on Friday
Nearly on Saturday
Nearly on Sunday
I think as marriages go, we're doing absolutely awesome, I mean I get to sleep with my wife nearly every day!
Nearly on Monday,
nearly on Tuesday,
nearly on Wednesday,
nearly on Thursday,
nearly on Friday,
nearly on Saturday and
nearly on Sunday
Condoms
A boy and his father are shopping when they pass the c**... aisle. The boy sees three pack sizes of condoms, a pack of three, one of six, and one of twelve. He grabs the three pack.
The father says, Those are for high schoolers. One for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday.
The boy asks, Who are the six packs for?
The father responds, those are for college students. TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO for Sunday.
The boy responds, Ooo! What are the twelve packs for then?
The father sighs and says, Those... are for married men. One for January, one for February, one for March...
Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday got into a fight...
They wanted to see who was the weekest
A man was in line with his young son at the pharmacy...
when the little guy spotted the case of condoms off to the side.
"What are those, Daddy?" he asked.
"Ah, those are the condoms, son," said the father. "Remember when we talked about how babies are made? People use those during s**... to avoid getting the woman pregnant."
"Why are they in different size packages?"
"Well, the single ones are for the weekend for high school guys. See? One for Friday, Saturday, or Sunday. And those packs of three are for college guys. One for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday."
"What about the big box, Daddy?"
"Ah, those are packs of 12 for married men like me, son. See? One for January, one for February..."
At the drug store
A little boy and his dad were at the drug store and they just so happened to come upon the c**... aisle.
The little boy asked his dad "Daddy why are there so many different boxes of condoms?"
"For different stages in your life." said the dad.
"What's the 3 pack for?"
"Well, that's for when your in High School 2 for Friday night, and 1 for Saturday night."
"Then whats the 6 pack for?"
"For when your at college. 2 for Friday night, 2 for Saturday night, and 2 for Sunday morning."
"Oh. Then what's the 12 pack for?"
"Well, that's for when your married. 1 for January, 1 for February, 1 for March........"
Father and son are shopping in a grocery store and the son asks dad what are these for?
*pointing at the condoms*
Dad: oh well son, remember the birds and the bees? Well those are something you use for protection
Son: what's this 3 pack?
Dad: those are for high school kids, just getting starting.. 1 Friday, 1 Saturday and 1 Sunday
Son: this 6 back?
Dad: These are for college students.. 2 Friday, 2 Saturday, and 2 Sunday
Son: and these?
Dad: oh the 12 pack? These are very special. These are for married folks.. 1 January, 1 February, 1 March...
On Monday, h**... told 1 lie.
On Tuesday, he again told 1 lie.
On Wednesday, he told 2 lies.
On Thursday, 3.
On Friday, 5.
On Saturday, 8.
And on Sunday, h**... told 13 lies.
That is the fibber-n**... sequence.
A Muslim boy once asked his father: "why is it that Jews can't work on Saturday, Christians can't work on Sunday, but Muslims work on their holy day Friday?"
The dad looked down at his son and said, "God didn't need to force us to take a break because in His infinite wisdom He knew we'd never work that much to begin with."
After 30 years of marriage, I'm tells my envious friends that I still get s**... almost every day..
Friends: no way!
Me: yup! Almost on a Monday.. almost on a Tuesday.. almost on a Wednesday.. almost on a Thursday, almost on a Friday, almost on a Saturday and almost on a Sunday!
Superstition
I was trimming my nails when my Grandfather said with a sigh "You should not cut your nails on Thursdays".
I had never adhered to these superstition but out of curiosity I asked, "What happens when I cut my nails on Thursday?"
He explained, "You see the weekend starts tomorrow Friday, Saturday and Sunday. It's difficult to open the beer cans and the Lays packs without the nails."
Moral: Some superstitions do have a scientific basis!